Cynnie

Creating my own safe space I will just pretend you're not here I will just empty my mind right here

[cynnieisthinking]

Ik laat me drijven

Armen wijd uitgestrekt Ik zie de oranje gloed die me door Mijn oogleden heen verwarmt

Constant in beweging Constant in rust Op de golven

Ik zie ze niet aankomen Soms klein Voel ik mijn vingers  – alleen mijn vingers deinen Met mijn ademhaling mee Soms verassend groot Spoel ik bijna kopje onder Dat mag Is mijn gezicht weer verfrist

Rustig ademhalend Kabbelt de stroom verder

[cynnieisthinking]

Bruine natuur

Hij geeft zich over aan het oppervlak van de aarde wordt gedragen door het oorspronkelijke staart naar het oneindige De herfstbladeren filteren de zon

Hij ziet een disco vol kleur koffie, filmmarathons, kaarsen boeken, uitslapen, regenlaarzen

De blaadjes durven los te laten dwarrelen naar beneden zonder spijt dat ze de rest laten hangen ooit zullen ze elkaar weer zien

De man blijft rustig liggen wordt langzaam één met de groene, oranje, rode, bruine natuur

[cynnieisthinking]

Tranen

Ik doe de moeite niet meer om mijn tranen weg te vegen Ze zien ze toch niet 3 jaar geleden dacht ik dat ze wel bijna op zouden zijn

Wist je dat mensen die veel huilen Littekens in de hoeken van hun ogen hebben Ik had kraaienpootjes toen ik 19 was Ondertussen zijn het grachten die Maar vol blijven lopen

Ik doe de moeite niet meer om mijn tranen weg te vegen Ook niet om uit te leggen waarom ze er zijn Duizenden redenen Maar zou er geen een kunnen benoemen

Ik was ooit bang dat het niet meer ging stoppen Dat ik het licht aan het einde kwijt zou raken Ik heb geleerd dat het lang niet zo eng is in het donker Ooit liep ik naar het licht Op een loopband die sneller was dan De stappen die ik zetten kon Nu is er geen licht meer om naar te verlangen Geen verlangen om gebroken te worden

Ik doe geen moeite meer om mijn tranen weg te vegen Laat ze maar gaten in mijn wangen vreten Kan iemand toch nog Het achterste van mijn tong zien

[cynnieisthinking]

I'm just so tired...

[cynnieisthinking]

Anchor

Whenever I feel overwhelmed I imagine you're here holding my hand And telling me everything will be okay

[cynnieisthinking]

The creative juices be flowinnnnn

[httpslalys]

Some days

Some days, I am Van Gogh’s Starry Night — a sky of trembling light, spinning hope from a thousand bruised blues, beauty clawing its way through the dark. I shimmer. I survive. I am the miracle of still being here.

But other days— I am his final letter, unread, heavy with silence and a thousand unsaid things, ink smudged with grief, whispering the sadness will last forever.

I try. God, I try. I stitch my soul into every effort, build dreams from threadbare faith, but they unravel faster than I can mend. I walk through mirrors that don’t reflect me back. I reach for meaning and find only smoke.

Some say it’s enough just to try, but how do you hold onto hope when your hands are always empty? How do you measure worth when your heart is both canvas and wound?

Still— I wake. I breathe. I paint the sky in spite of the storm. Some days I am the masterpiece, some days the ache behind it, but always, I am trying.

And maybe that is its own kind of art.

[cynnieisthinking]

Seafood

I used to love shrimp And fried squid And mussels

Every vacation We would go to Spain And I'd fill up With all the seafood I could find

That was Until all of a sudden something changed I took a bite And got so sick All through the night

I thought Maybe just one bad shrimp I still like squid So I ate squid And once again I got sick All through the night

Turns out I can't have seafood My body refuses

So it's hard for me to believe When you say you will always love me Despite my flaws

Because what if you realise Its not just one bad shrimp

I like the taste of seafood But I never eat it anymore

[cynnieisthinking]

I love you

I love you

I love you

The thought of you

Fills up every corner of my brain

Pushing all demons out

You are my torch in the cave

I don't know my way out yet

But the dark does not frighten me

With your light scaring the shadows away

Lost at sea

Just me and my ship

No crew

No supplies

I got used to the waves

Crashing into me

Shaking me to my core

Assumed my future would be filled with storms

And night

And loneliness

Until you

Until your lighthouse

You might not always be next to me

Shielding me from the thunder

Yet I am not afraid

For I will focus on the beaming glow

I will repeat the phrase you say to me

Until my demons go to sleep once more

I love you

I love you

I love you

[stardustsighs-deactivated202507]

Probably needed a hug, wrote a poem for him instead.

[cynnieisthinking]

I always had a thing for stars

As a child I could look up at the night

Until the dawn would take it away

I look back on those eternities in black

And realise

That my fascination was as a ghost from the future

For I find that same light

That same glimmer

That same wonder

In your eyes

Dark as the night

Glistening in the fire glow

[cynnieisthinking]

[cynnieisthinking]

I always wrote poetry I would sit down In my slightly too narrow chair My hands trembling above a slightly too high desk Looking at a way too white piece of blank paper With a thesaurus at the ready So I could find the perfect words To write a perfectly formulated poem Careful to skip out on the cliché rhymes Always wanting to use that one word nobody had heard before

And then something happened I stopped caring to write the harmonious rhymeschemes I stopped putting all my thoughts on the text on the paper I started to feel I started to need to write I wasn't writing poems anymore I became a poet

I had found something that made life Brighter Fuller Deeper I had found something that opened my heart To feel the world fully To see the scenes passing by and get drawn to the quiet love inside them all To hear the birds whisper behind a wall of urban storm

I had found something that awakened a part of me That made me more whole That made me more me

I think back of who I was before And I can't imagine not being a poet I can't imagine who I was all those years I can't imagine a world where I never met Him

[artinandwritin]

Pre-order Glimmers of Light!

Hi there!! We're so excited you want to pre-order a copy of our zine, [PLACEHOLDER]! For the last few months, we've worked so hard to get th

PRE-ORDERS ARE OPEN!!!

From now till may 24th, pre-orders for the zine me and two of my classmates are making, are open!!

I’ve shared some small things abt it here and there, but lets get on with a synopsis and what a zine is!

A zine is a small booklet centering a theme. Ours is about loneliness and connection; abt a lonely person living with people who don't seem to understand them, who tries to find connection through venturing out into the world. What will they find? And more importantly, will they find that connection many of us crave as well?

Above is the link for the pre-orders, and underneath it you'll be able to see the tiers and what you'll be able to get!

[cynnieisthinking]

I always had a thing for stars

As a child I could look up at the night

Until the dawn would take it away

I look back on those eternities in black

And realise

That my fascination was as a ghost from the future

For I find that same light

That same glimmer

That same wonder

In your eyes

Dark as the night

Glistening in the fire glow

[cynnieisthinking]

It's a special kind of poetry

That a burning block if wood

Looks exactly like blooming marigold

[cynnieisthinking]

Bright orange

Against the dark blue sky

Pops of smoke fill the air

A smell of sweet marshmallows fills my lungs

My arms aren't cold

Wrapped in your embrace

My heart if full

My brain empty

Scattered glimmers

Against a dark blue sky

[cynnieisthinking]

My problem is I forget the good

I know there is good

I know that I have felt good

Earlier today

I know I felt good

But something happens

Something bad

It's not even that big a thing

But it's bad, and that's enough reason

For it to fill up my brain

And push out all the good there ever was

Or at least it hides the good from view

I know there was good

But I can't remember it

I can't get it back

So in the now

Right here right now

It's all not good

And I'm scared I won't find it back this time