insomniac

late 20s, trans, they/he, i just want to attack and dethrone god | aesthetic, fandom, satan, anarchism, art

[sonofmeatthawsmoth-deactivated2]

Interested in tearing it all down? Frustrated by the futility of electoral politics? There’s this great thing called anarchism that I’d be happy to talk to you about

[pyaasa]

[czo-tired]

Slingshot is a good option if you need a menstrual tracker

[papasmoke]

Biden and kamala are gonna go down as world historic pussies, a couple of ineffectual neutered bitches, hollow cowardly animals that rolled over in the face of every challenge from the right

[papasmoke]

I hope this kills the democratic party, I know it won't but I really fucking wish it would because as long as the dems keep swallowing all discontent and repackaging it into right wing police state liberalism we are catastrophically fucked.

[argumate]

I love the carefully intertwined urban legends in which antifa are dangerous radicals coming to shoot your livestock and trash your community but also limp wristed colorful haired gender nonconforming soyboys and girls who couldn’t possibly pose a physical threat and they’re funded by Soros in cash and drugs but he also doesn’t pay them because he’s sneaky and they’re suckers and they’re black but they’re also white and they’re poor but actually they’re spoiled rich kids and they’re hot then they’re cold they’re yes then they’re no they’re in and they’re out they’re up and they’re down

[genderoutlaws]

hi, i need some advice.

im afab but ive nevee felt right as a girl. i always stuck out to all the girls i grew up with. i grew up quicker than they were so i was taller than them, my calf muscles are huge, i have dark hair all over my legs and arms, my shoulders are broader than my hips... like compared to near all the girls i grew up with, i just... wasnt a girl in comparison.

i love being feminine and girly but whenever i try i just... it doesnt look right. i cant be a girl as effortlessly as they can. i just stick out like an ugly sore thumb and it's so frustrating.

becauee of all this, i relate ao so so much to the stories of trans women and how they navigate femininity, womanhood and being women. ofc i cant identity as a trans woman because im afab, but what do i do about any of this... i dont understand myself at all but i feel seen in the experiences of trans women.

what do i do?

hey anon, i obviously can’t tell you who you are as that’s your own journey, but like Just going from this message it honestly sounds like the experience of a cis woman who is very alienated from womanhood because of the restrictions white cis heteropatriarchy places on who is the “correct” kinda woman yknow? i think it makes a lot of sense to connect with trans women out of that shared experience of having your physical features held against you irt your femininity.

i don’t know if you need to Do anything necessarily, but ig i would encourage you to continue reading and listening to those women’s experiences that speak to you, and maybe writing about your own too! (doesnt have to be public ofc, private journaling has helped me sm honestly in terms of self actualization and figuring out who and what i wanna be)

i hope this helped, if you ever wanna talk feel free to DM me or send another anon <3

[czo-tired]

Anon, I felt this way, except I never really liked thinking of myself as girly or feminine. I also tried more "masc" presentation and it felt the same way, like it didn't fit. I started identifying as nonbinary and that feels a lot better to me. I'm taking testosterone now and I like the way it's making me feel, but just knowing that I didn't have to absolutely "pick a side" between the binary made me feel good too.

I know what you mean about feeling wrong in comparison to women. When I tell this to the cis women in my life, they act like they don't know what I'm talking about. I can't tell if they're being nice or if they genuinely don't know something is different. I don't know if it's because I'm fat or because I've always been attracted to women or because I'm a CSA survivor or because I'm "genuinely" trans masc or what that even means, or any number of "reasons." I just know that I look at women and I look at myself and I see two different things.

I've kind of given up on reasons. I'm just trying to decide what my life is going to be like in the future on my own terms. I really suggest playing with your clothes, your hair, your pronouns, your name, just trying new things on to see if they feel better. If they don't, you can let them go, but if you find something that feels right, stick with it. You don't have to put an identity label on it until it feels right. If there's something youve always wanted to do with your body or your gender presentation, but you don't because you feel like you're not "allowed" to, do that thing. Like I recently tried growing out my facial hair instead of shaving it like I always have. I decided I didn't really like that, but that's okay. I'm glad I tried it. Now I know. And I could always try it again someday when I'm further along in my journey.

i also shaved my head a few times. Not saying you should do that specifically if you don't want to, but it was really freeing. I felt ugly, but it was like I was allowing myself to be ugly because I can never be any other way. I often felt like my hair was the only beautiful thing about me, and cutting it off meant I didn't have to try to be that kind of beautiful anymore. It also made people call me "sir" by accident more often and I really liked that.

Anyway, yeah. If I could snap my fingers and be a girl, I probably would, but I'm not, and I'm never going to be. I don't know whether that's because these standards of femininity are super arbitrary and narrow and unachievable (they are), or because there's something inherently different about me that is metaphysically Not Woman (I feel like there is). I've decided to homebrew a custom gender that makes me happy, as much as I can.

[hools]

no yeah i cant hang out sorry. yeah im hugging my pillow in bed today. yeah no itll be for a while. maybe for forever. OK bye

[tifoti]

This vid is awesome

[byelacey]

;,) release me, brain

[radicalgraff]

"Squat the Airbnbs"

Seen in Hebden Bridge, UK

[bookshelfdreams]

it CANNOT be overstated how much Matthew Maher's cleft lip does to set the tone for the whole show.

The show starts out like a goddamn Disney movie, with the jaunty guitar piece and the introduction song. There's a very specific (one might say, unkind) kind of humor associated with this sort of story; humor that relies heavily on punishing deviation from the norm with ridicule. It's fitting, in an oh-boy-here-we-go kind of way, that the first pirate we really meet is Pete - short, bald, with a speech impediment. He isn't the first character whose voice we hear, but he is the central character in the first scene of the show. Look at this funny guy who can't speak lmao this show is gonna be hilarious!

And then that just - doesn't happen.

It only takes a few minutes to establish that this isn't going to happen, that Pete is just someone who happens to have a lisp, like some people just do in real life. It's just how he speaks. He doesn't stand out; he's not comic relief. Or rather, everyone on this ship is comic relief, including the main character. Especially the main character.

The first 5 minutes of ep1 is the first time the show sets up a joke, makes you look at the punchline you're expecting and goes "See that? That's bullshit. We're not doing that. Let people live."

[czo-tired]

Queer as in "violently suicidal in the workplace while listening to a podcast with both earbuds in"

[czo-tired]

I hate my jobbbbbbbb every job I've ever had would be 1000000000x better if it had no managers and I wasn't REQUIRED TO DO IT TO BE ALLOWED TO SURVIVE

[shiplessoceans]

The WHIPLASH I get when I'm scrolling twitter and see a cool peice of fanart for OFMD and maybe it's a bit racy and then my heart skips a beat and I look up to the top of the tweet and it's on my timeline because the fucking actors involved have seen it and liked/retweeted it.

It never ceases to give me a heart attack.

Today's installment:

[czo-tired]

Can you imagine if you went on Twitter and saw people making images of you and one of your best friends like this? I'd be liking and sharing them too. I would never stop getting a kick out of it.

[killtheteendream]

lmao

[ladytabletop]

reblog with the race/species you play most often in ttrpgs in the tags

[ladytabletop]

the duality of man

[ladytabletop]

then there’s folks who know what they’re about

[ladytabletop]

also this genre of player

[gallusrostromegalus]

Is there something comically oversized and wildly differently arranged than every other race? I WILL NOW BE THE PROVERBIAL AND PERHAPS LITERAL ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

[americiumam]

reblog w the song lyrics in your head NOW. either stuck in yr head or what yr listening to

[thismustbetheblog]