I love soulmate AUs. And I love hurting my favorite characters. I also had a very big, very long phase of Hanahaki AUs. Combine them all, I have Hanahaki disease as a consequence of soulmate rejection and Tim has this in your soulmate AU.
Tim is the smartest of the Robins, probably even smarter than Batman. But he was in love and in denial. He wanted to have a family, to live in the white picket fenced house with children and a dog or cat with his soulmate. He was in denial when Bruce keeps a relationship with Selena or when Dick was with Babs or nearly married to Kori or when he found out Red Hood was Jason and very much wants to kill him or when Damian kept on degrading or humiliating or actively trying to kill him. But he can't deny the flowers that come out of his mouth any longer. I'm not good with the flower language but imagine the different flowers that come out representing his love. He's been rejected by his soulmate. He really is as unlovable as his parents say.
I imagine the rejection comes in different times for every man. For brutim, it could be after Tim brought his soulmate back from the time stream but hadn't received any words from Bruce save for the thanks he got when he was rescued. They're at a family dinner, everyone in the family is present for once. Tim would be so excited because it's been weeks since he last saw or talked to Bruce outside patrol. He'd even ignore Damian, knowing it makes Bruce... Comfortable? Happy? That his soulmate and his son aren't fighting. So he ignored Damian even when his lung felt so suspiciously tight when he saw how differently Damian was treated from how he was treated. He tried to think logically. Damian is his son, yada, yada, yada. So he kept his mouth shut and ignored the looks Damian sent his way. But Damian didn't appreciate that and in true demon brat fashion, Damian brought up his mother wanting to see Bruce. Tim is starting to think that the spawn somehow has managed to learn that Tim is his father's soulmate. Nevermind, Tim will not dignify a response to that. But then Damian kept on pressing and decided to bring up Selena. The brat must really hate him if he's bringing up Selena and the rumors that Batman was seen with Catwoman a few nights ago, rumors that Tim desperately ignored. He doesn't know what he expects Bruce to say. Maybe deny the rumors? Defend Tim? Bruce does none of that. Tim spent the next hour of dinner, drinking water and swallowing his saliva, hoping to ease the tightness in throat and chest. He flees at the given chance, rushing to his apartment. He expects to throw up the dinner he just had. But flowers came instead. He definitely threw up his dinner after that when it became clear to him what just happened.
For dicktim, the flowers came when Dick announced that he's engaged to Kori or when Dick took Robin away. And I know that I just said that Tim was in denial when Dick was engaged to Kori. But imagine Tim who only wants to be with his soulmate, to be married to him. Weddings are a big deal to Tim. (Selena getting married to Bruce could've also been the time the flowers first appeared for brutim.) His soulmate getting married to someone else, planning a wedding with someone else. It would hurt so bad. He'll spend next few years simultaneously hoping he still wakes up the next day and hoping he doesn't. Kori and Dick doesn't last but the flowers remain. Then his dad dies, then Steph, then Bart, then Kon, then Bruce. Then Robin was gone. His soulmate gave it away to someone who has very nearly killed him. If the wedding didn't give him his flowers, this will. There are pros and cons to having the flowers early. Tim has learned how to live with the flowers threatening to fill his lungs. He doesn't know if he'll manage being so stressed out while also learning how to deal with it. But the years of abuse on his lungs have also left considerable damage on him. Enough that Ra's was considering removing the flowers regardless of the damage it may cause on Tim's soul without his consent during Tim's splenectomy. He was so sure he could've convinced the young detective. But Tim is a survivor. When Dick catches him from the fall and Tim calls Dick his brother, he has made his resolve.
For JayTim, the flowers came either on Titan's Tower or with the batarang on his chest. Maybe Jason is even aware of the Hanahaki while he was beating Tim up in the tower. Tim had no strength to keep the flowers down when it came. If Jason had more control, if he hadn't let the Pit overpower him, he would've realized that the scene of bruised bloodied skin littered with flowers was familiar, that he once knew someone else in the same state, same position as his soulmate. I'm not familiar with flowers but imagine the flowers having the same color as the bruises decorating Tim's skin. It would've been poetic and it might've lit the literature maniac part of Jason. But for now he was busy writing his name on the walls and decorating it with the blue and purple flowers. Months later, Jason is cured from the Pit. Apologies were made. Tim is rightfully distrustful but his love and duty to his family supercedes that. They form a tentative truce. The flowers are still there but for the first time, in months, his chest has felt lighter. Then Bruce dies and the Pit comes back. Jason was throwing a batarang to his chest. And Tim coughs up blood. And flowers.
For damitim, the flowers could come for so many times. Maybe when they first met and learn that they're soulmates. Maybe during the fall from the dinosaur. But I'm more partial to the time Damian cuts Tim's line. Damian was so, so angry when he saw the contingency plans his soulmate made. Contingency plans for him. He felt rejected. What's the use of a soulmate if they can't trust him? What's the use of a soulmate if they make plans to incapacitate him? Like that, Tim was rejected. His line was cut. All night, he was wondering why his chest feels tight. Why was he coughing up flowers, a few minutes before his patrol with Robin and Nightwing? Dick said Damian was better. So why? He was so preoccupied by this thoughts that he nearly hadn't been able to save himself when he realized he was falling. It took far too long for him to realize that someone cut his line, that someone wanted him dead. It took even far longer for him to realize that his soulmate wanted him dead. He tries to explain himself when he learns of the cause of his soulmate's ire. But Damian was having none of it. Not even when Bruce explained that even Batman himself, had contingency plans for his soulmate. For years, Tim tries and says sorry. Even as the flowers in his chest grew. Damian screams of rejection and betrayal. And the tired part of Tim wants to scream back. What do you know of betrayal? What do you know of rejection? You, who had no flowers growing in your chest. You, who had not laid in your bed wondering whether it's the last time or the last day. You, who had not made the difficult decision to limit your activities as a vigilante because the flowers in your lungs makes it hard to breathe, because the flowers in your lungs could very well kill you if you accidentally run into Ivy. Those were all the things Tim has to go through. Tim was the one whose relationship with the family grow even more distant, even more strained because the family sided with Damian who has been "rejected" by his soulmate. Even Bruce, who had initially came to Tim's defense, started to side with Damian.
Tim tries with all of them. He tries until he physically couldn't. He stops when a shortness of his breath, a stuttering of his heart, had distracted him and nearly killed him during a mission with the Titans. Had it not been for Kon who had heard the irregular beat of his heart. If I was a better person, Tim dies and his other half mourns. But I'm not. Tim stops going back to Gotham. He stops trying and focuses on himself. He will never reject his soulmate. He will never make them feel how he had felt all those months or years ago. He will always love them but he stops asking for more. He grows his relationships with his friends and eventually builds something more with Kon. At first, they were both worried. Tim doesn't want his soulmate to go through Hanahaki but he doesn't want to let Kon go. The first few months of their relationship was spent monitoring the health of Tim's soulmate before it's made clear that it doesn't affect them. Tim laughs when he thinks. His soulmates really didn't want him. And so he moves on. He loves them but he will move on. He's done waiting. And slowly the flowers stop growing. Slowly, he stops waking up every few hours to cough up flowers. They didn't notice it at first. They were too preoccupied worrying over the dark spot that has started growing on Kon's skin. They hadn't noticed until they're at the medbay, fussing over Tim's injury from their recent mission and Kon was using his x-ray vision to check for internal injuries. Kon sees his clear lungs, devoid of flowers that tormented his boyfriend for years. Kon was scared of what this means. Has Tim's soulmate accepted him back? Was Tim leaving him now? He was afraid and hurting but he tells Tim what he sees and braces himself for the inevitable. This is how the best relationship in Kon's life ends. But it didn't. Tim didn't want this to end. He was the happiest he has been all these months with Kon. He tells Kon that. He was going to be selfish this time. He had dealt with the flowers for so long, his soulmate could deal with it themselves. He promises himself to Kon. Maybe his soulmate was right, Tim says, the universe did make a mistake making them soulmates because if he was asked to choose a soulmate, he would've chosen Kon. They kiss and they have the best sex in their lives. The next morning, they wake up and sees the dark spot on Kon's skin had become Tim's soulmark. They're soulmates.
Meanwhile, Tim's soulmate wakes up, surrounded by the same flowers Tim used to cough up. And their soulmark gone from their skin
-🦆 (I sincerely hope no one else took this emoji as a sign. That would be awkward. I've only sent one other ask signed with this emoji)
ANON!!!! ANON ANON ANON!!!!!!! THIS WAS SO GOOD!!!! I LOVED EVERY SINGLE WORD!!!! ♥️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😩😩😩😩😩😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
soulmate and hanaki both carry, in my opinion, some of the best love angst fics in any fandom!!! the unrequited love tropes are so good especially when the person who was hurting ends up happy in the end!!!!!!!!!!!
i love the idea that this wasn't a 'misunderstanding' that tim and bruce/dick/jason/damian knew fully well that tim was their soulmate- not just that but that everyone else knew they were soulmates as well.
that means talia, selina, kory, barbara and everyone who were fucking or dating bruce or dick knew for a fact that tim was the soulmate- and they didn't care. or maybe it's not that they didn't care but that they were told that it was all taken care of. by bruce and dick most likely.
maybe in bruce and dick's mind it makes sense to not reciprocate because....tim is young. he's a child and he can't possibly engage in the kind of relationship they're used to- the kind of relationship where the two go on dates and have sex and are emotionally vulnerable and honest with each other. both bruce and dick go through some pretty heavy stuff and are mentally sometimes not in the best place and so tim, a child, can't provide the kind of support they need even if he tries so hard to be their equal and be their soulmate. even if tim offered they'd still say no because it's not right. tim is so young and shouldn't have to shoulder the burden and horrors of an older soulmate. soulmate age gaps aren't rare- they're quite common. but even if soulmates meet when one is an adult and the other is a child the child won't just get married- they'll stay with their parents until they're an adult. bruce and dick have both probably seen the...bad side of soulmates with age gaps where one soulmate was too young when the 'adult' stuff started. just because someone is meant for you doesn't mean you can't hurt them.
so they think they're protecting tim. by focusing on women their own age (nevermind that sometimes tim cries and wonders if because he's not a girl that they won't look at him, that they've rejected him). in bruce and dick's minds their distance from tim is justified. they can't take tim out to dinner or on dates without it looking creepy. they can't give tim a relationship when he's too physically and mentally underdeveloped. they just can't do it.
but they never tell tim this.
they never tell tim the reason why they won't look at him, why they'll get into relationships, spend the night with, and nearly marry OTHER people. and honestly....it's because they forget. tim is just always...there. he's a comfortable presence in their life. when they go through a bad breakup, when things turn sour, when they're betrayed, when they're left at the alter- tim is there. ready to comfort, offer gentle words, and squeeze their shoulders in a way that makes them feel like everything will be okay. they take him for granted.
they disregard his feelings, when he shows up to breakfast with puffy and redrimmed eyes it doesn't even occur to them that they could be the cause. tim never snaps at them, cries, or yells about how they're choosing other women, other heroes, other people over him.
they don't think about him and maybe that the cruelest part of it all.
they don't think about tim. until he's gone.
when they wake up to flower petals sprinkled over their body and their mark aching like someone has punched a hole through their heart- they panic. the terror and fear that swallows them is unlike anything they've ever felt.
they've lost their soulmate and it feels like they've been ripped in half.
until they call everyone they know, pull up security camera footage and see tim (alive, he's alive and that brings so much relief they could almost cry before the cold realization sets in) and superboy making pancakes and eggs together, laughing and looking disheveled in the way that lets people know they got laid the night before.
hurt radiates through their throat at the sight they can barely talk. disbelief and betrayal sink into them as they watch as superboy strokes at the soulmate mark- their soulmate mark printed right over where his heart is.
both dick and bruce lay a hand over where their marks used to be. there's no scar, no pain, not even an itch. there's no evidence of them ever having a soulmate.
for jason it's complicated. the fact that tim is his soulmate always gets drowned out by the fact that he's the boy bruce replaced him with. the superior model, the one that would obey, that wouldn't disappoint, the one that wasn't dirty, the one that didn't live in a gutter, who didn't have to give handies in an alley just to make a buck. maybe the old jason, the young and innocent one would've been ecstatic and so happy to meet his soulmate. jason had given up on ever finding anyone who wasn't his soulmate because he SAW how that played out. willis and catherine hadn't been soulmates and whenever jason had asked her about the splotchy soulmate mark that didn't seem to really make any sense she always got quiet. jason always swore what he and his soulmate had would be different- that his soulmate wouldn't need to suffer ever so long as jason was with them. sometimes the rage he directs at tim is the pit, other times it's genuine rage and hatred. at some point jason runs out of excuses and just needs to accept that he can't love tim more than he hates him. that he'll always hate tim for what he represents just like he'll always hate the joker for what he is. but...there are time...moments. when jason has a bit of clarity when he's not hurting as much and laughing along with tim at something stupid bruce did. when alfred is bringing them trays of hot, jam filled cookies and warm mugs of honey lemon tea because both of them have sore throats from being stuck wading water in gotham harbor for a drug dumping bust. jason thinks the first person to ever make him genuinely chuckle at something after...everything- is tim. but then bruce fucking dies or gets lost in time and all the pain and the hurt and the fact that he hadn't gotten catharsis or closure or whatever the fuck- and tim is there. like always. and maybe jason should feel bad. his soulmate had been so wary around him but had come around eventually. but in jason's mind it doesn't matter. because the joker is still around, because bruce is gone but then he's not, because so much of the pain that jason endured has gone unanswered. and tim is there and it's easy to hurt him, hate, him, taunt him using private conversations they had as ammo. jason shouldn't be surprised as he is when he wakes up while on a job and finds his bed filled with crabapple blossoms. something in his chest just goes tight. he doesn't move for what feels like hours and when he does his whole arm is shaking and pulling up feeds from gotham then san francisco because jason recalls how tim often crosses the country to be with the titans. and he finds...something that has him clenching his jaw and balling his shaking fists together. tim not being his soulmate should be a good thing. jason hated him too much, was never able to scrub away the resentment of him...but seeing him in another person's arms, seeing that person with HIS soulmark....he wants to cry. the universe has decided jason was no longer worthy of his soulmate the same way it decided he was no longer worthy of life and so took it away from him. jason should be happy but all he wants to do is cry.
damian is young, jealous, and knows nothing about selfless love. when he meets tim too much of his is brainwashed from the league and talia. when he learns tim is his soulmate too much of him is brainwashed by what he was led to believe a soulmate would be. drake doesn't welcome him with open arms, doesn't fawn over damian or forgive any of his faults. drake argues with him and fights back against damian like a cat escaping the hands grabbing them. there is tension and antagonism that runs deep between them. damian doesn't think him attempting to kill drake should be held against him because...because that's just how he is and drake should KNOW that. when he finds his name in a list of targets he cannot hold back the hurt, the pain, or the resentment. the accusations flow out of him like water. it's the worst pain he's ever felt because damian had been TRYING to get better and improve only that drake hadn't been around to see it. for nearly a year drake had abandoned him. not a single call, word, or letter until he'd blown into gotham and demanded they obey like he had any idea about what they'd endured in the city during his absence. he left gotham, he left DAMIAN and he couldn't just walk back in and expect loyalty. a year is a long time for someone like damian. he grew an inch, he got calmer, more merciful. he gained the respect of other fighters in the city, of citizens. but that wasn't enough for his soulmate who still deemed him a "threat". so yes damian is upset and he makes that known. and eventually drake leaves gothan unable to handle the fact that he was wrong about damian. no apology. no letter.
damian is bitter and angry and hurt, bad mouthing drake to anyone and everyone and at first he has their sympathy and ears but they start growing tired of it. red hood mocks him one night, asking if he really expected "perfect little timmy" to ever want to be soulmates with a demented league brat like him.
damian attacks him with his sword and leaves a deep cut in his thigh that has hood cursing. the attack draws the attention of other bats who are furious with him for attacking todd. grayson looks at him with deep disappointment "i thought you'd outgrown this". damian has a bad week. he's grounded and his father schedules an appointment with a therapist for his behavior, utterly unsympathetic when damian said it was drake's fault.
two days before his appointment damain wakes up in a bed of flowers that make his nose itch and no soulmark. damian's scream wakes the entire manor.
his missing soulmark has grayson turning white and sprinting for a phone. father stares at the hives forming on his skin. an allergic reaction from the flowers.
damian is given some medicine and cream and forced to watch as his soulmate is held and stroked by a clone. damian can't stop the angry tears the- the betrayed tears that burn trails down his cheeks like hot lava. damian may not have liked or loved his soulmate the way he knew he was supposed to but...but...but he didn't think he'd do this.
damian cries and no one comforts him or tries to console him.
damian had been talking about how much he hated drake, how much the universe had made a mistake, how much drake was not and would never be his soulmate.
well damian got his wish didn't he?
now drake isn't his soulmate.
