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afrorevolution

anxiousblackho

sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

lizawithazed

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

yungflowergirl

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

bootykage-deactivated20150331

this a lie

bootykage-deactivated20150331

im literally dating this girl this a lie

bootykage-deactivated20150331

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

gifsboom

Massive Saint Bernard Puppy Thinks He’s A Baby. [video]

[LifeWithRJ]

captainbigdickmoxley

He IS a baby!

toocooltobehipster

full video

theeeprotagonist

ME THIS IS ME I’m crine

hotephoetips-deactivated2017080

bruh why i deadass be thinking like this stop

whitegirlsaintshit

Me at all times omg I really was driving home like this

slimetony

I hate intellectuals

If you know shit fuck you

c0mp1337

Define “Know shit”

slimetony

if you know anything fuck off

kira-yvkimura

captioned-miscellaneous-videos

1: “Hey, what’s your favorite color?”

2: “Black.”

cheesekneesandbees

I swear to god this is the purest thing

surprisebitch

so earlier at lunch, me and my girls were about to find a seat in the cafeteria then this jock douchebag just wolf whistled and went “so which one of you ladies wanna be my valentine this february? and by valentine.. netflix then chill? which is netflix then fuck you?” then my friend Carly got pissed and went “who are you?” and then the friend of that guy was behind and was like “wait wait ladies, he was trying to be nice. i mean what the hell is wrong with a guy whistling to a chick to tell her she looks hot?”. and i was like “that is actually disrespectful. you’re treating women like objects or meat. there’s a better way to compliment women which is not asking them to fuck you.” then he was like “no one was talking to you fag. suck my dick” and my friend Britney yelled at him saying, “hey why are you so homophobic? you really think that will make either of us wanna go out with you? it’s the 21st century and macklemore says love is love you prick!” then punched him in the face then i punched him too and said “why do ugly straight guys think that every gay guy wants to fuck them?”. then the other guy was about to strangle me but then my other girl friend Selena tripped the guy then hit his head with the tray which splitted in half. Katie carried the garbage can and threw the contents and the can on their faces. and Lizzy spitted on them and was jumping on the guys’ backs while she was wearing stilletos. then the fuckboys were lying on the cold hard ground™, and my friend Carly was like “next time you call my bestfriend fag, i’ll make sure you wont be able to fertilize again!!!” and everybody in the cafeteria clapped then the cashier treated us lunch