Cosmic Funnies
No title available
ojovivo
Product Placement
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
ellievsbear
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
if i look back, i am lost
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
macklin celebrini has autism
No title available
The Stonewall Inn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
No title available
RMH
Kiana Khansmith
almost home
blake kathryn
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from Canada
seen from Italy
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from Pakistan
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Netherlands
seen from Spain
@dailyjournalofsurviving
So often I am treated like my feelings about the situation are the problem, and not that the abuse is the problem. And I think that's actually pretty fucked. I should be in pain. I should be upset. I should be angry. How could you think of all of the worst moments in your life and not be? My feelings are not the problem- they are the only thing in this world that takes my trauma seriously.
Today the trauma doesn't feel so heavy. I know my body is mine, my truth is real and that I deserve joy and safety. Today I love all the past versions of me who got me here, even the parts I hold shame for. I might not remember that tomorrow, but today is a good start. And there will be other days like today, too.
I am constantly angry that the world does not accommodate trauma. They treat survivors brutally, make it hard to get justice, abusers go free, you're picked apart and invalidated but still, somehow, expected to be over it. Im sick of doctors implying my feelings are the problem- my depression and anger makes sense in a system and world that do not support me. My feelings are the only thing in this world telling me that my truth is real and important.
How can I hold onto hope for healing when the trauma is so extensive? I dont even know if there was a time before the trauma, let alone who I was or should have been. Cptsd is a whole different beast, how can I have hope for a life I've never known?
How do I move on from my trauma while still honouring it? Sometimes I'm scared moving forward means letting go of my truth. Am I moving forward or am I just pushing the pain down?
Lately I've begun having hope that I can live a happy and healed life despite all of my trauma. Tonight I try to hold onto that, despite how far away and hard to reach that future feels. The bad days don't take away from all the healing I've done so far. I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of all of you.
There is a deep grief to a chronic mental illness. Some weeks I'm better and able to function and move through my trauma and I forget I have PTSD and feel hope. Other weeks without reason I'm suddenly reminded how bad it can be and feel stuck all over again.
On the weekend I attended the 'No More' rally against gendered violence. It just happened to also be the anniversary of the last time he abused me. I have found my voice and I will not be silent.
affirmations like "i am safe" or "i am in control" can be inaccuate and hurtful for some people. so, here are some alternatives.
i deserve to be as safe possible.
i am as safe as i can be given my situation.
i deserve to be treated better.
it makes sense that i feel _ right now.
my feelings are valid and real.
i'm not okay/safe, and i'm doing my best with what i have.
i have control over my voluntary actions - no one can take that from me.
i am allowed to protect myself, and i know what i need best.
my life belongs to me, not to others.
these may still not work for everyone, but i hope these help someone.
Today is my abuser's birthday. It's a day I cannot separate from him. So, today I celebrated my life without him. I celebrated me leaving, I celebrated me learning to love myself, I celebrated knowing I'd be safe tonight. I will not let today be about him or what he did- I am the one who allowed me to survive.
The grief hits every day. Flashbacks, triggers, panic. Why am I not "fixed" yet? I don't want to think about what he did anymore. I don't want to feel this anymore. I want to just get back to my life.
For survivors of childhood abuse, forgiving oneself and the situation seems to be more relevant in relation to PTSD symptoms than forgiving the perpetrator (Snyder & Heinze, 2005). In childhood abuse, forgiveness of the other may be difficult because the perpetrator has broken a profound and fundamental trust, and the results indicate that forgiveness of self and the situation is therefore more important.
Cerci, D., & Colucci, E. (2017). Forgiveness in PTSD After Man-Made Traumatic Events: A Systematic Review. Traumatology. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/trm0000130
I keep being told that if I forgive them, I set myself free. This just doesn't apply to trauma and an abuser who will not change. You cannot forgive for an ongoing act. I do not need to forgive to do my healing- distance, self-love and therapy is how I set myself free.
Just because you can push through the pain doesn't mean you should need to all the time.
He took my voice. He took my body. He took my future.
Why do I still feel like I have to protect him?
I don't know how to be a real person anymore. I don't know how to enjoy small talk anymore or how to care about deadlines. The trauma hits so hard, how am I meant to just function like it didn't happen?
I still find myself crying at the realisation that everything that happened was real years later. I spend so much of my time minimising and gaslighting myself. It was real but it'd be easier if it wasn't.
