y'all i have to have a serious conversation about yunho being the ultimate daddy dom and i need to talk about it now because i just rewatched the perilla leaf debate video and had an epiphany. so if you want to go down a rabbit hole of bdsm dynamics and me overanalyzing yunho (again) then walk with me......
okay listen.... i know we all love jealous and mad yunho, and that's what got pulled out of this video endlessly by everyone, including me, but i keep focusing one particular exchange in the video before he gets jealous. go watch it, but the dialogue and generally what happens is:
*yunho reading the question, which is worse, 1. atiny letting another male idol pick [the perilla leaf] for them, or 2. another male idol picking it for atiny*
🐶yunho: *inhales, shakes his head* no way, none of it is okay.
✨ atiny: oh? not even both?
🐶yunho: *looks up at her* no way. no way. *literally gets pouty*
✨atiny: then what should i do?
🐶yunho: *with literal no hesitation* i'm right here, so i'll do it for you.
✨atiny: (with what i can only assume is teasing) you're going to do it?
🐶yunho: *pouting more* you have me??
✨atiny: when you're not by my side?
🐶yunho: *brieftly thinks* absolutely no. do it yourself.
you can see him start to get a little annoyed at the idea of the atiny not just doing it herself when he's not with her. and then when she asks about another man doing it for her, that's when he switches from cutely playing with her, pouting, being softer, to firmly like yeah no way. now... obviously yunho is working at a fansign event, he knows atiny is fond of him being jealous so he's certainly playing into this a bit, but i still think yunho is a pretty genuine off the cuff idol and i think a lot of this would ring true for him with his partner.
now in terms of dominance, there's a million kinds, and i'm not a big fan of labeling an actual dominant person one archetype of dominance (or submission) and boxing them in because in real life, plenty of bdsm elements overlap, people have varied interests and preferences. someone who's a daddy dom can also be a sadist can also be a brat tamer etc. etc., but for the purposes of this post i want to focus on daddy dominance and the elements of yunho that i think perfectly align with this archetype (even though i think he has potential for so many others as well!)
if you're completely unfamiliar with what daddy dominance actually means, let me provide some details, disclaimers, AND assure you that i have some direct personal irl experience here i'm not just saying stuff to say stuff. while some consider 'daddy' to be just an honorific the same as 'sir' or 'master', and it surely can be, i'm talking specifically about the "daddy dom" archetype that would run deeper than just the honorific.
as a disclaimer, there's some debate about if daddy dominance is always inextricably linked to dd/lg (daddy/little girl) play, and there's a ton of gray area about dd/lg itself as far as age regression. for the purposes of this conversation, i want to emphasize that while i do think daddy dominance has a huge overlap with dd/lg, what i'm talking about here has nothing to do with age play or age regression. there's nothing wrong with that imo, you know i'm deeply kink positive, but i wanted to make that distinction before starting because a lot of people have preconceived notions about the word daddy, dd/lg, and age play. if you have questions i'll happily get into it.
now! here are some key elements to daddy doms as I see it and have experienced it:
reliability and caregiving: i think this makes sense, but daddy doms often feel a deep responsibility to their sub and their subs day to day needs and wants. think lots of acts of service, a guiding hand, and making sure that their sub is healthy and happy. this could look like making sure their sub is eating meals, drinking enough water, handling their stress well... or tiny things like door holding, shoe lace tying, maybe even paying for things, etc.
protection and safe-guarding: while i don't think this needs to be over the top or necessarily toxic unless that's a desired part of the dynamic, i do think daddy doms tend to take on a somewhat protective role. especially in 24/7 dynamics, i think there's an emphasis on the dominant carrying responsibility for their submissive's well-being, and that also translates to wanting to ensure their physical and mental safety, perhaps a little bit more directly or on the nose than other types of dominance. i think in talking with doms who identify as daddys, i've heard an overwhelming consensus around wanting to be seen as a safe harbor for their sub, wanting to be a pillar of stability, and wanting to feel themselves like a protector.
rules and obedience: keep in mind, i think a daddy dom can easily be either a high control dom who does not want to deal with bratting, or a brat-tamer. i personally think yunho is more of the former, which I can talk about separately, BUT i digress. a key element to daddy dominance, and honestly most d/s, is the dominant setting rules and expectations for their submissive and then maintaining structure for their submissive to be obedient (this also means correction where necessary for rule infractions). however, i think with daddy doms, i've noticed many of the rules tend to surround the well-being of their submissive, almost codifying those acts of service into goals and anchors for their sub. for example, a daddy dom might fill up your water bottle, but it's a rule for you to drink at least 80 oz a day and that obedience is up to you as the submissive, etc.
the dd/lg of it all.....: this one can be a little divisive, but i do think a core element of daddy dominance is the softness and the gentleness that comes as the other side of the coin to the strict rule enforcer. the difference between being a soft dom and a daddy dom (if you want to make the distinction) is almost self-explanatory, but i think there's an inherent element of babying your submissive, and even when there's no age play or age regression involved, treating your sub as something precious. think cuddles, plushies, extra cute-ness.
NOW the one thing i want to megaphone announce before i relate all of this back to yunho, is that if a dominant considers themself to be a daddy and has alllll of the above elements and more, it does NOT mean they perceive their submissive to be helpless/less than/weak. if a dom says this, they suck and do not fuck them. but in the same way that receiving care and being guided feels like love/connection/safety to a sub, providing those things for a daddy dominant fulfills them as well.
okay!!! now onto our boy.
in the perilla leaf debate, the two lines of dialogue i highlighted in red are what i want to use as a jumping off point. even with room for imperfect translation, i think the core of his meaning comes through.
his initial thought is: but i'm here, i'll do it for you.
yunho's first impulse is to provide, and to do something simple for her. it's not a question or an offer, it just is. he's present and therefore, it's obvious, it's his job to provide that for her. i think this being yunho's natural reply is very telling. we don't get to see yunho interacting with women all that often, but think about how he is with mingi or other members. yunho is often the one cutting up their meat, guiding members in the right direction, watching everyone, but also, taking care of staff too from stories we've heard. he's been described too as a natural leader, and i think all of these things, combined with his stellar emotional intelligence makes for an excellent dom, but particularly an excellent daddy dom.
BUT the thing that made my mind spin, was when she emphasized it would be when yunho wasn't physically with her, and his answer is pretty simple: do it yourself.
he doesn't perceive her as helpless, but he provides his care and love through acts of service. however, when he's not there? she's capable. she doesn't NEED to be babied, but he wants to do that for her. and this also to me screams a desire in him for setting rules and maintaining his submissive's obedience. once again, he didn't ask her opinion or explain what he'd prefer, he was unequivocal. do it yourself. yes, the possessive part is there, but to me there's also an implied rule and the expectation of her obedience when not in his presence.
now obviously i'm reading into a cute little exchange like crazy, but let's take those daddy dom elements i mentioned and specifically apply them to yunho.
reliability and caregiving: like i mentioned, this is one of the big personality traits we know about yunho. if you watch him specifically with mingi it's incredibly obvious, but even with wooyoung too. we've heard stories about him buying coffee for staff on early calls, getting that one journalist handwarmers when she was cold (with san ofc), encouraging people to rest, taking on more work to help his members, and the list goes on and on.
protection and safe-guarding: this one is tied with the above, particularly with how he treats mingi. however, i think you can see a common thread in his lives and fansigns with how he talks to atiny. when they are upset, lean on him. when they need advice, he can give it. he's the safe place, the happy place, somewhere that his fans can rest and recover. his cover song and original song emphasize that so much too, he talks a lot about taking care of oneself and leaning on yunho when times are hard. he also often says he'll protect atiny too, and while this is said cutely, it does come right to his mind. so you can imagine how he'd be with a partner, let alone a formal d/s dynamic.
rules and obedience: i mentioned this with the perilla leaf, but i think in general yunho is strict about rules in games and in some content when he's been direct or provided instructions to members and he isn't listened to, you can see that it irks him. he's the one who usually corrals everyone back to being on task (alongside hongjoong) and it's just one of those little personality traits to me that screams potential.
the dd/lg....: now this is one i can't point to a particular thing and say "see!! he likes being called daddy!!" because that would be a wild overstep. however, i do think he's often referred to as daddy or dad coded by the fandom, and the little parts of his personality when he's being cutesy towards mingi (calling him pricess i mean hello are you with me people), he's not afraid to be babygirl with plushies or girl group dances etc. but he never really loses his aura as a masculine guy, the way he pouts constantly....... like some people perceive it to be subby of him, but i think we're seeing how comfortable he is with tenderness and gentleness and that doesn't inherently mean a lack of dominance or by extension, masculinity as some people imply.
am i a little biased because yunho has been my ult for years and my preferred form of dominance is daddy dom energy? ....maybe. but i also genuinely think this is a huge reason i've always been drawn to him and his personality.
anyways. i hope those of you who enjoy kink and headcanons enjoyed this!! always love to hear thoughts and discuss more. this man makes me romantic, feral, and ache for a hug so feel free to yell about him to me.
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