Hello, my name is Teleporno
Remember yourself reading all things Tolkien for the first time? Surely, all the distant “magical” lands, Elves and dragons took your breath away (or failed to do so). But there always were these parts where you could not restrain yourself from laughing out loud because of the very way the words you were reading sound.
In case English is not your mother tongue, chances are that you’ve had a feeling (once, at the very least) Tolkien was purposedly trolling you and all of your fellow Finnish/German/Italian/(choose for yourself) speakers. In case English is your native language, you’ve probably had this feeling as well.
Here goes a list being compiled with the help of people mentioned at the end of the post. If you wish to contribute, please don’t hesitate and send me a note (or two, for the sake of double-checking); I’ll update this very post.
Russian. Literally ‘ram’ (male sheep).
German. Literally ‘receipt’.
Russian. Literally ‘shore’.
German. When said out loud, sounds like the German word for ‘berries’ (Beeren).
Teleporno. Self-explanative. In every language.
Czech. ‘Brambor‘ means ‘potato‘.
Italian. ‘Turco’ means ‘Turkish’.
Russian. ‘Turka’ = ‘cezve’.
Spanish. ‘Turca’ equals ‘penis’.
Italian. ‘Curvo’ means ‘bent’.
Polish. ‘Curvo’ means ‘(you) whore’.
Romanian. ‘Curufin’ means ‘the smooth a$$’.
Russian. ‘Curva’ goes as a not-that-wide-spread synonym for ‘whore’, ‘prostitute’.
German. Sounds weird (but also poetic) because ‘Elend’ means ‘great misery’.
Finnish. Nolo means ‘embarrassed’ or ‘awkward’.
Latin. Nolo stands for ‘I don’t want’.
English. In human anatomy, the groin is the junctional area between the abdomen and the thigh on either side of the pubic bone. [Wiki]
Finnish. ‘Nelya’ means ‘four’ (and not third).
Finnish. Kana means ‘chicken’.
Russian. The first four-five letters have a stunning resemblance with the vulgar word for women’s genitalia.
German. Mann-Weh is pretty much literally (though not really used) ‘man pain’.
Polish. ‘Menel’ is colloquial for ‘drunken hobo’.
Finnish. Anna is a common girl’s name and in finnish language -tar suffix is sometimes added to a title to make a feminine variation of it.
Finnish. ‘Silmä’ means ‘eye’.
Finnish. ‘Uida’ is ‘to swim’.
Russian. ‘Voron’ stands for ‘raven’.
