happy pride to the gay people in my computer <3
trying on a metaphor

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Love Begins

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Misplaced Lens Cap
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Keni
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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NASA
cherry valley forever
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
almost home
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@dani-elaine
happy pride to the gay people in my computer <3
His painty foot prints 😭 his hands covered in paint 😭 little man this cannot be good for you need to change your life style or you might pass away
my very first thought here:
why is sally acorn here
Lmaooooo I've had this job for 6ish years now and the brand-new baby guard I JUST finished training keeps trying to "help" me
I was on the phone with police the other day describing someone and he was over here talking *over* dispatch to give me details I already knew... because I had paused.... to give dispatch time to type.... and I guess he thought I didn't know???
Like man I appreciate the spirit but I literally taught YOU how to do that, do you think I forgot??
Like I bequeathed unto you my Stone of Power and in doing so lost all arcane wisdom???
Bruh
Cis dudes do this thing where they share basic ass knowledge with you like you're not the resident expert
and while I USED to think it was because I was a girl and they thought girls were stupid, I have come to understand that really, it comes from more of a benign and congnitively youthful void where "other people know things that I don't" and "sometimes things don't make sense to me because there are things I am not yet aware of"
and this can be directed towards anyone they haven't subconciously identified as a Wiser Authority
Such as a Girl
And actually now that I'm thinking about it, maybe that's part of the reason that people who are benignly (for lack of a better term) biased insist so strongly that they AREN'T, that race or gender or sexuality or religion has nothing to do with their behaviors
Because if "people who might know more than me" is an unspoken category that applies only to Professors, Guardians, Role Models, and Peers- and NONE of those hypothetical persons LOOKS like "girl", in their head, they aren't treating girls like they're dumb- they're treating girls THE EXACT SAME WAY they treat EVEYONE ELSE...... who isn't more intelligent.
No wonder they're always so blind to it! They're looking for a big solid block that says "BELIEF THAT WOMEN ARE STUPID", and they're COMPLETELY MISSING the big, empty hole where "BELEIEF THAT ANY WOMEN MIGHT KNOW MORE THAN ME" should go
We don't *know* what we don't know not because something is missing or something else is in the way, but because it was never there to begin with
The Council of Elrond did literally nothing to keep people from interrupting their top secret meeting. Even fucking Bilbo had a “no admittance except on party business” sign.
hate when a batman artist isn't committed to bruce's lame bat schtick... give that man a bat insignia on the bottom of his boots rn
he already has back issues and hes committed to being a campy cunt.... give him the good boots.
i was going to comment how impractical it would be for Batman to be walking around in boots with his own damn insignia on the soles, but you know what i accept this explanation ajksjkdhajkdhkajkk. the man gets to strike fear into the hearts of criminals AND be as campy as his dramatic ass desires
He assigns each of his kids a different print too to see if they're at crime scenes or stupid places
Sometimes I'll be looking at bullshit online that I know will just rile me up and I have to think of this image to get myself to stop
"If you accept any food from the fae, they shall never let you go" is a human belief. The fair folk stand by the principle that if you feed 'em, you gotta keep 'em. If wildlife learns to rely on you for food, you have already fucked up, and you can't just stop feeding them cold turkey. That human is your responsibility now. Because you left your peach cobbler unsupervised.
If you start feeding the humans in your yard then you need to make sure you keep feeding them or else they’ll choose not to migrate and starve in the winter. I recommend rolling something in peanut butter and seeds and hanging it out on the porch
tomorrow
Always reblog NSYNC the day before May
Queueing this for next year
Tim: I hate tall statues.
Jason:
Tim: tall statues.
Jason: I heard you. But why.
Tim staring at the Ushiku Daibutsu statue far off in the distance:
Tim: it’s gunna move
Jason: it not gunna move.
Tim: it’s gunna move. I’m gunna wake up and it’ll be in a different spot.
Jason: no it won’t.
Tim: it’ll be bent over looking in my fucking room.
Jason, now imagining it and getting unnerved: it won’t.
Tim: it’s looking at me!
Jason: STOP IT! It’s not!
Tim, turning to run away: get me out of here! I can’t take it! It’s gunna get me!
Jason, shoving against Tim to get away first: stop! Don’t leave me here!
Bruce and Clark standing next to them:
Clark: don’t judge me
Clark: but I have an idea.
Disclaimer: statues have not been proven to move or come alive on their own. Yet.
my greatest accomplishment in life is that I inadvertently made my friend break up with her shitty boyfriend by throwing her a really fucking awesome birthday party
okay so I fucking love event planning and decorating and hosting and baking, aka all the elements of a banger birthday party. I am so freaking happy to throw people parties because it means I get to throw a party, then go to a party! yippee!
so my friend's birthday rolled around and I knew she wanted a party because I'd done them for her before, but I wanted to make it extra special because she was turning the big 25. so I did all the regular stuff I am So Excited About: had her roommates let me into her apartment while she was out, put up balloons and homemade garlands and streamers and table decor, made her favorite cake and snack plates and cocktails, ordered catering from a restaurant she loves, got a bunch of our friends to come over to surprise her, wrote her a disgustingly heartfelt card, etc. and then because it was the big quarter century, I was like I gotta do something extra.
now. I do not like clowns. my friend loves clowns. we've gone to the circus together and she's seen me literally close my eyes and hide when the clowns are out in the audience, meanwhile she's screaming and waving at them. so obviously I hired a clown for her birthday. (btw seeing him out of clown costume made me less freaked out because now I knew that the guy under there looks like someone's uncle.)
so she showed up after work totally expecting a party because I'm too paranoid to throw a real surprise party, and obviously loved it. and then I was like btw. there's a clown.
she lost her mind. she was sooo excited. she loved the party and she loved the clown. I was like haha yes I'm getting a good grade in birthday parties and didn't think much of it because frankly I do this a lot, and it's so much fun for me that I don't consider it work. like, I love doing all that for my friends. it's not any kind of sacrifice.
two days later, she texted me that she broke up with her boyfriend.
naturally I was like omg tell me everything I hated that guy let's get coffee. so we did and she told me that for her birthday, her boyfriend of nine months 1) forgot about it and didn't get her anything, 2) got mad at her for not texting him while she was at her party, 3) got mad at her for telling him about the party because it was "passive aggressive", and 4) called her immature and stupid for being excited about a clown at her birthday.
this was all very in character for him. but she'd just come from a lovely birthday party full of her friends who love her and want to put effort into making a nice day for her, where her friend who hates clowns hired a clown just to make her happy even though the party alone would've been plenty. and suddenly this wasn't a boyfriend being kinda forgetful and lazy, it was a glaring incongruity with everyone else in her life. so she finally dumped his ass. and I was soooo freaking happy. so clowns can be good.
that relationship was already over, she didn’t even bring her boyfriend to her birthday party at her own apartment
actually it's worse than that! she knew there would be a party, but not what day. I invited her boyfriend to the party. he said no.
Bruce is the kinda guy to post that picture shirtless, holding Alfred the Cat with a caption of something innocent like “Good morning everyone! Look how fluffy Alfred the cat is!”
Clark Kent is the kind of guy to respond with “Ain’t nobody lookin at the damn dog” with heart eyes while accidentally logged into his official Superman account
The internet completely breaks, and people make the tweet into shirts. He is constantly faced with the most embarrassing mistake of his life. both in his civilian life and superhero life
Superman’s face is perpetually red whenever he saves people for the two months, but he and Bruce do start dating
Why is everything handmade with love? I want things handmade from spite: the skill you learned from your horrible estranged mother and you now have made your own. I want things handmade from staying up till 3 am watching a horror movie and frantically knitting to quell the sense of dread. Give me something handmade with horniness. I want one of the 20 ceramic bowls you practiced making at home so you could seduce your crush in pottery class sell me that. Sell me something handmade out of pettiness, quilted from your exes sweaters. I want something handmade with caffeine withdrawal anxiety and something handmade out of necessity like the sword you forged to survive the harsh winter when you got lost in the forest and you had to hunt to survive, but you made it through so now you can sell it on etsy. I want
Interestingly, this was historically a thing!
Forgive me if I get details wrong, I’m going from memory, but in the Viking era, (and later???) it was considered bad luck to spin yarn counterclockwise.
So women deliberately spun counterclockwise and wove a shirt for their enemies!
In summary: cursed sweaters!
trying to groom her brother | source