Who cares

just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world.

[thegoddamnedmagpie]

[ceciliewriteswords]

I have hung a banner across my crooked teeth and it says: “I’m doing better.” Trauma hangs her own banner around my neck and it says: “I’m still here though.” And I carry them both like jewelry I’m proud of. Speaking of pride, I haven’t been to my shore for years, the jagged formation of home that no ship can sail close to anymore. But I still remember how it felt when a man knelt to drink of me even though I wanted to say this isn’t right, I’m full of salt, and brine, there is nothing here for you. But he drank. And I was an ocean; I had a thousand mouths but none I could have said no with that he would have listened to. And everything that flowed through me could not quench the thirst of that terrible fisherman, who heard sirens in the depths of me, even when there was nothing but damned choked back silence. Speaking of silence, I know my hands still shake, it’s just the tide in me, it comes and goes. But I have hung a banner up. Across my crooked teeth. And it says, it says I’m not an ocean anymore.

Depths - Cecilie K (via ceciliewriteswords)

[raiseusfromperdition]

[pill-barista-deactivated2023050]

the only easter post that matters

[nevaehtyler]

lmfao he’s loving life

[wanderrrlust]

For the culture

[corvid-420]

i was going to also add MOAB but they’re only going to get worse so thought I’d keep it flexible for whatever atrocity these demons unleash next

[obviousplant]

I installed a ‘Relationship Saving Station’ at Ikea to help keep couples from fighting.

[bai-xue]

Someone buy this man a beer

[idatedads-deactivated20171016]

Someone’s saying it

[antifainternational]

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

i love her

[danisvi]

business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

[falsedetective]

this election has gone completely off the rails and it’s still only february i am LIVING

[falsedetective]

it’s march and it’s time for an update

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

god: okay tiny animals youre ready to be in the world!!! ants: yipee!! yay!!! god: okay lets make the anteater now ants: the what 

[nasturbate]

[longscarydream]

this is from spy kids

[mo-boyy]

I bet Steve fucking said this to himself and didn’t realise the cameras were rolling and the director was just like “keep it” 

[boredpanda]

Human Takes His Dog On Epic Adventures, Proves That Dogs Are The Best Travel Buddies

[parmessy]

[loveboatinsanity]