by Fuji@NotFuji_
EXPECTATIONS

ellievsbear
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Discoholic 🪩
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izzy's playlists!
YOU ARE THE REASON
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tumblr dot com
trying on a metaphor

Product Placement
noise dept.
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Cosmic Funnies

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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Sweet Seals For You, Always
h
Sade Olutola

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@dannytitanium
by Fuji@NotFuji_
Scrolled down the MF DOOM tag trying to find the mac and cheese image and I couldn't so anyway here it is literally one of my favourite images of all time
very important that you include MF DOOM's Villainous Mac and Cheese Recipe alongside this image
While its eyes are not as big as its mummy's, this baby tawny frogmouth is still using its beady peepers to see the best it can
this kills me
happy ‘this fruity number?’ friday
Eva Funderburgh
love her work
she still makes these and they’ve only grown more wonderful over the years. The wood-fired surfaces really give them life.
love these lil guys
*puts a disk in u*
Thank you
well. now I need this
see her loud
now see her quiet
Old Testament vs The New Testament
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
WHAT THE FUCK
poke you with my noise
*sniff sniff sniff* ah, i see. you are not an ant.
all tomorrows if it was animorphs style childrens media
pretty unbelievable that in spite of the insane level of flesh ripping edits to turn him into a human bird this is still instantly recognizable as Jerma