I'm Bad Jokes McFuck

I put half my points into vagueness and the other half into oversharing

[sylvysparrow]

…i’m listening.

[toastbutteregg]

[nyasarin]

[neurotypical-karen]

My friend works two jobs and doesn’t tend to specify which one he’s talking about, so he’ll say stuff like “a lady died at work today” and the rest of us have to play a fun little game called Nursing Home Or Yankee Candle.

[neurotypical-karen]

Today he goes “someone threw a candle at me at work >:(” and I think I can finally reliably pin down one of his anecdotes but nope! It was the wretched nursing home!!!!!

[libraford]

Listen. I'm not a great embroiderer. But when you're stuck in bed and some bullshit politics is happening and you wanna stab something a thousand times it's a pretty good way to eat up a couple days.

[consentcactus]

[dduane]

Trump’s Border Czar Whines That Many Immigrants Are Smarter Than ICE

Tom Homan is upset that ICE’s raids in Chicago aren’t as bad as they could be because many people know their rights.

“Sanctuary citizens are making it very difficult to arrest the criminals. For instance, Chicago, very well-educated. They’ve been educated how to defy ICE, how to hide from ICE. I’ve seen many pamphlets from many NGOs: ‘Here’s how you escape ICE from arresting you’; ‘Here’s what you need to do.’ They call it ‘Know Your Rights.’ I call it ‘How to escape arrest.’”

(snicker) CRY MOAR.

[cozycryptidcorner]

I don’t think the main goal is mass deportation. I’m at work rn and will elaborate.

[cozycryptidcorner]

Currently there are huge detainment camp being built in Texas for ICE. Slavery is legal in the case of prisoners. “How will we have field workers if they’re all in detainment camps?” Girl they will still be field workers, but under the thumb of for-profit prisons owners. Will elaborate further w/ but do you see what I’m saying??

[cozycryptidcorner]

Once more: if slavery is legal in the case of prisoners according to the constitution, if Texas (who has the largest amount of profit prisons) and Mississippi both have plans on building large scale detainment camps for undocumented immigrants to hold them indefinitely as per one of Trump’s executive orders, and if there is a large labor vacuum as undocumented immigrants are arrested and in hiding, what do you think is about to happen?

[deepseasmetro]

like im sorry college students. youre paying for a piece of paper that says "please pay me more than 50k a year". thats it. thats the entire point.

[wlwocprincess]

And most of the time they don’t even say yes!

[deepseasmetro]

AND MOST OF THE TIME THEY DONT EVEN SAY YES

[2242706]

amazing pic of a momma lion eating her baby after she found out he used her credit card to buy Vbucks without permission. nature is brutal, yet beautiful

[ashenmind]

you can’t say that

[ashenmind]

ah

[dostoyevsky-official]

trump is 78, putin is 72, netanyahu 75, biden 82, lukashenko 70. if you kill yourself now, you'll never see them die. keep going

[plaingreekyogurt]

they should invent skin picking that is good for your skin

[gokusupersaiyan999999999999999]

[trividium-in-unum]

His username is:

xHarlemShakex

1. A. 14. N.

2. B. 15. O

3. C. 16. P

4. D. 17. Q

5. E. 18. R

6. F. 19. S

7. G. 20. T

8. H. 21. U

9. I. 22. V

10. J. 23. W

11. K. 24. X

12. L. 25. Y

13. M. 26. Z

24 8 1 18 12 5 13 19 8 1 11 5 24

X H A R L E M S H A K E X

[schakira]

[flipchild]

[tumblr] is a beautiful website where all kinds of people come to diversify their echolalia

[brawltogethernow]

[thestuffieguardian]

It's wild to me how many mothers and fathers hate their own children. Like. That's a mini version of you you dumb cunt

[thegraciestation]

this and parents who convince their children it's their own fault that their unlovable.... like why have kids

[checkadii]

THERE WAS A PRIDE PARADE TODAY???? TO CELEBRATE LGBTQ+ NEWLY WEDS WHO REGISTRRED THEIR MARRAIGES TODAY SINCE THE SAME SEX LAW WAS PASSED OH MY GOD

[checkadii]

THATS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭

[checkadii]

Fucking GOOD FOR THEM DUDE!!! They traveled from 3AM to register their marriage at the bang rak district office . AND THEY WERE THE FIRST COUPLE!!! Look at how happy and beautiful they are I’m so,,, aaa

[checkadii]

Okay who’s in Thailand rn we can meet up /j

[checkadii]

“We tell eachother I love you everyday. Multiple times a day. Just don’t get bored of me saying I love you everyday.”

“Just don’t get bored of saying it first.”

They’re literally so beautiful 😭

[drakensberg-blog]

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

[poupon]

how dare you say we piss on the poor

[sparrow-va]

all hail the 1 million note Piss Post