Finally back after a ridiculously long time away from tumblr. Came back from vacation last week and started studying for my upcoming gastroenterology exam this morning.
cherry valley forever
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Janaina Medeiros
noise dept.

Product Placement

★

Andulka
Peter Solarz

pixel skylines
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Xuebing Du
d e v o n
KIROKAZE
Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ojovivo
Mike Driver

#extradirty
art blog(derogatory)

No title available

seen from Sri Lanka
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from Israel

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Brazil

seen from Taiwan
seen from Brazil

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@darkandtwisty07
Finally back after a ridiculously long time away from tumblr. Came back from vacation last week and started studying for my upcoming gastroenterology exam this morning.
Ready
“Are your ready to see this patient?” asked my attending.
This patient was a young mother-to-be, otherwise healthy with her first baby on the way. I had hardly conducted any prenatal checks myself nor led a gynecological exam. I was vaguely familiar with the questions I should ask and distantly comfortable with the physical exam maneuvers I was to perform.
I had done them before, once, in a time that seemed so far past. Mentally, I weighed the pros and cons of leading this appointment. The cons seemed to stack up.
“Are you ready?” echoed in my head.
The hollow spaces hissed back, “No.”
She withered into a sliver of a woman after I told her the news, “Stage 4 pulmonary adenocarcinoma. You have lung cancer that has spread throughout your body.”
“But I was so healthy?” you could see her life decisions replaying in her eyes through a lens of doubt, questioning everything.
“I am incredibly sorry. I honestly don’t know what to say.”
So I sat there while she delicately sobbed her regrets away. My hand reached out and held hers. I’d occasionally add prognostic words - chemo, palliative, radiation, family - but they just evaporated into the room’s dark cloud.
“I’m not ready for this.” her eyes pleaded with mine.
She texted me, “We need to talk.”
It’s amazing how a cliche can make your heart drop.
“Not me, not right now. I just can’t.”
My brain replayed everything - the memories, the laughs, the chemistry. After all that? How? Why?
I put my fingers to the phone’s keyboard.
There was about a 20 story drop between me and the rushing river below. I was perched on a small metal grate that jutted out the side of an old bridge. It was a crisp winter day, clear skies, and nothing but the sounds of nature around me.
It was a beautiful day to jump.
The man who jumped before me screamed the entire way down. I wondered if I would do the same.
The only only thing connecting me to the bridge was a thick bungee cord. I got into a squatting position so I could explode out into swan dive as beautifully as possible. My friend held a camera to record everything.
Behind me, the jumpmaster yelled instructions, “THREE. TWO. ONE. DIVE.”
“No one is ever ready.” I thought. I led that appointment.
“No one is ever ready.” I whispered back. I never saw her again.
“No one is ever ready.” I texted back. She never responded.
“No one is ever ready.” I jumped. I loved the rush.
We are never ready. We are never one-hundred percent.
It’s the missing percentage that makes life thrilling, worth loving, worth living, worth trying.
And, God, I hope you try.
9:47 pm // Just got home after a very long day in cardiac surgery. P. S.: I'm sorry I'm not posting much but I'm super busy and super tired all the time. :(
My favorite shade of green.
Always.
11:21 pm // Making microbiology flashcards.
You don’t get better on the days when you feel like going. You get better on the days when you don’t want to go, but you go anyway. If you can overcome the negative energy coming from your tired body or unmotivated mind, you will grow and become better. It won’t be the best workout you have, you won’t accomplish as much as what you usually do when you actually feel good, but that doesn’t matter. Growth is a long term game, and the crappy days are more important.
Georges St. Pierre, The Way of the Fight (via wordsnquotes)
Lovely blog! :)
Thank you! :D
I love your blog and am so happy I came across it! I'm just now going into my third year of undergrad and was wondering where you went to college and where you're currently attending med school?
Aw thank you so much! I live and study in Italy and everything is kind of different here, we go to med school right after high school so I didn't go to college :)
My favorite outfit.
I really love your studyblr, I wish you'd post more often :) how is the med school journey going?
Aw thank you! I started clinical rotations in March so I'm super busy right now, but I promise I'll post more when I'm done with rotations and lectures for the semester and I start studying full time for my exams :)
10:53 pm // Revising before going to bed.
The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.
Jordan Belfort (The Wolf of Wall Street)
The simple fact is that people who achieve excellence in their fields didn’t just have a dream. They got up at 4:00 am to practice on parallel bars or had to forgo other desirable activities and paths in order to get in six hours of violin practice a day, or stayed off several million absurd writing advice blogs with their overheated little cliques that dispense useless regurgitated maxims and empty praise and decide to actually confront their own thoughts on a page. Or they read Beowulf and Dante carefully and deeply when they didn’t see any point, since all they were interested in was Sylvia Plath, because someone of more experience and wisdom told them to do so. I don’t know whether we’re overly lazy, stupid, or childish these days. But the idea of preparing oneself for excellence has somehow disappeared. So – my advice to dreamers: Don’t just follow your dreams. Earn them. Do what it takes to achieve it. Work for it. Don’t just sit there and dream because if you do, it will never, ever be yours.
Harrison Solow, Don’t Follow Your Dream (via charliestudies)
Got my first stethoscope today. I'm so excited!