fern 🍃 they/them 🍃 22 🍃 sub leaning switch t and weed are making me feel some kinda way so maybe this’ll help lol (follows n likes from @/lilgardengremlin) asks n dms always open!! <3
hey! so apparently i need to do this, so here we go!
hi! you can call me fern, im non-binary transmasc, my pronouns are they/them, if you cross the list of boundaries below i will not hesitate to block you 💛
PUT YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO OR I WILL BE FORCED TO BLOCK YOU
age in your bio please, i won’t say it again, no age no access
don’t fukin misgender me, if you like the phrasing i used in a post but wanna change the gender stuff then re-write it and idk, credit me below it or in the tags or something idc
DNI list includes minors, detrans blogs, transphobes, homophobes, acephobes, just anything along those lines
thank you for following my rules, n have fun :)
i have a throne!! folks who wanna buy me somethin from the list (or a cute lil surprise) can have their choice between exclusive content of me wearing/using what u bought or an equivalent amount of content that u request (tho i reserve the right to veto ideas if they make me uncomfortable)
https://throne.com/seafernnn
Send fern gifts via Throne. Browse fern's wishlist and support your favorite creator safely.
made a cute lil fansly, would loveee some recommendations for what sorta content y'all'd like to see 💕
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blog-specific tags: "meee :3" for my pics, "my audio" for audios
“Doll” as a title is so underrated. Aren’t you just something so darling and cute that I have to play with? Aren’t you just so brain dead that you move how I want, say what I want, and act how I like? What is a doll if not the perfect little plaything.
d’ya ever want someone to suck on your tits and do it in a really pervy way? like hands underneath your top without discarding it— fingertips pulling down the cups of your bra to palm your soft pretty tits without unclasping any single bent hook from metal hold. taking greedy handfuls and murmuring under their breath with a little bit of wonder in their voice at how good you feel. and suddenly it’s like you’re not even there… just a pretty pair of tits with a mouth that happens to be moaning. i like it kinda perverse. somewhat eager sounding and even just like really greedy?? mmm fuck. midnight fingers all over my tits when i’m warm and sleepy, getting my nipples stiff enough to draw between their teeth. i get so wet having my nipples sucked on. no idea why but it makes me feel kinda crazy. probably just a sensitivity thing but uhh yeah i uhm i wanna have em sucked on perv style after someone gropes me through my clothes
i need to grab onto your shoulders while you stretch me out for the first time. hear you mockingly laugh against my neck a little at the way i react so desperately when you've barely even touched me. i want to clench around you, pull you tighter, become an absolute wreck underneath you.
The infection, caused by the fungus Trichophyton mentagrophytes type VII (TMvii), spreads through intimate contact and has predominantly been seen among men who have sex with men. It causes painful, coin-sized rashes on the arms, buttocks, trunk, legs, and genitals. While infections can be treated with oral antifungal medications, treatment can take several weeks, making fast detection of the uncommon infection critical.
“TMvii can resemble other skin conditions or sexually transmitted infections, so proper evaluation is important,” says Tom Carpino, Ph.D., the Hock postdoctoral research fellow at DGHI, who has studied the public health challenges of emerging STIs such as mpox. “The lack of awareness among the highest risk individuals and communities, combined with the lack of wide-scale testing and reporting from clinics, are ingredients for a very serious epidemic to go under the radar.”
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
it's so nice to be in a position that feels like "i'm in this photo and i 1.) didn't realize it and 2.) am actually so ok w it" bc like. life is so much more rough for my friends who actually Notice Things.
that's not to say i'm intentionally oblivious or like, don't pay attention. i simply Don't Realize the connotations of a thing. and i'm heavily under-cultured as far as movies/music/shows/etc goes, which does Not help
had a man at a kink club try to flirt w me, he gave me a drink (that ofc i didn't drink cause i was already crossfaded n didn't wanna add roofied to the mix) n then later came by n compared me to that actress who plays the princess character in the breakfast club (i was dressed super femininely, it wasn't an inaccurate comparison but def in bad taste at a queer centered kink club full of trans folks)
when i tell y'all that went right over my head. in one ear n out the other. genuinely actually didn't think he was talkin to me at all, even. i only know ANY of this now bc my friend was like "that was wild" n i had to have em explain what had literally Just Happened To Me In Front Of My Face.
impossible breeding is just so so fucking hot to me, like the idea of a huge hulking monster rutting into me over and over unleashing load after hot, heavy load deep in my tight little hole, growling about how it’s going to get me pregnant and how well i’m gonna carry its litter but no matter what it just can’t take… so it has no choice but to keep trying 💖
