The Crazy Side of Sith

A collection of thoughts, quotes, and fanfics

[dumpster-fire-deluxe]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Beste Laid Plans - Chapter 1

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Star Wars

Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Chancellor Palpatine, Sheev Palpatine, Darth Sidious, Sate Pestage, original female character

Story summary:

A routine trip ends in a crash-landing on a planet teeming with dark side energy. The effects reach Anakin, Obi-Wan, Chancellor Palpatine, and Sate Pestage on a soul-shattering level, pulling up in each of them feelings long since buried. Each must find a way to deal with his suppressed trauma before it tears him apart. Between lust, pining, and grief, no one’s getting a good night’s sleep. 

This is a collaboration tale. The role of Anakin Skywalker is written by @darth-jess. The role of Obi-Wan Kenobi is written by @dumpster-fire-deluxe. The role of Sheev Palpatine is written by @fictiongarden. The role of Sate Pestage is written by @darthvidetur.

[darthvidetur]

Check this story out if you like danger and intrigue! It's a fun blast of a ride!

[rfskia]

Two-legged Fox

TV wildlife expert Mike Dilger says he was "blown away" by footage of a fox with only two legs.

[darthvidetur]

Such bravery and courage packed into a tiny little fuzzy body. 

[kurtssingh]

Destruction, transformation, rebirth.

[darthvidetur]

This is absolutely gorgeous. The expression, the hands, the clothing and colors. Perfection. 

[darthvidetur]

Imagine long-haired, red-haired Naboo young!Sheev off causing chaos as Plagueis’ apprentice.  

[darthvidetur]

https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/l51lec/fan_cast_timoth%C3%A9e_chalamet_as_sheev_palpatine_he/ 

Let’s get this fan cast trending, guys!! Otherwise people want to make Pennywise the new Sheev, and Bill is 6+ feet tall and looks nothing like Ian McDiarmid! 

[hegodamask]

nice healthy relationship with the home planet there, palps.

[darthvidetur]

The really sad thing about this awful novel is that the author tries to turn Palpatine into a brainless hurr-durr destruction type of Sith. Palpatine was never about “complete destruction.” Anyone who’s taken a longer look than two seconds at his character knows that. He’s not a brute Sith like Nihilus, and in fact in Disney’s new-canon (false canon, tbh) Vader comics, he explicitly points out to Vader that he has no wish to rule over a galaxy of the dead, and he tells Vader to turn down the wanton destruction Vader has been causing.  In the true canon, the EU, he’s displeased over the destruction of Alderaan, he has an actual fondness for his home planet, and he’s a calculating, thinking, cunning evil son of a gun who wants to rule and turn the galaxy to his vision. He wants to become the galaxy’s god. Not destroy it. Not what this stupidly written and boring novel would have you believe. It’s a betrayal of his character, once again, thanks to Disney’s Lucasfilm. 

[hegodamask]

I see what you mean but I think it still works for me in the context of more recent canon. I got the impression here that he wants to make Naboo go down in history for the role it will play in his rise to power. He knows destruction isn’t part of the plan here, but he perhaps enjoys the thought of it. 

He’s certainly prepared to have Naboo and other planets destroyed as part of Operation: Cinder after his “death” and still expects there to be a galaxy to rule when he returns. He doesn’t want the whole galaxy destroyed, but ruling through terror has always been important to the Empire. 

I’m more annoyed at how Queen’s Peril lacked a lot of the complexity around Naboo and its politics that we’re used to seeing in Legends. I’m not a purist by any means, but it does suck that Veruna isn’t Amidala’s predecessor any more. It makes her election to queen pretty boring. 

[darthvidetur]

Disney’s new canon has ruined Palpatine’s characterization so badly and made him so different from what Lucas oversaw with the EU that I don’t (and can’t) see it as canon. It’s an alternate universe at best. I’m going by the literature definition of canon now, like the Sherlock Holmes series. These two books by Johnston, the idiotic Cinder idea from that game, the utter butchering of his characterization in RoS, all of it just breaks Disney’s version into unbelievable nonsense. 

At some point, it’s not Star Wars and it’s not Palpatine anymore. We’ve shot far beyond that point. Palpatine is actually a smart, complex villain in canon. Veruna is still Amidala’s predecessor, Naboo is still a wonderfully complex and detailed culture, and RoS is just idiotic fan fiction. 

[hegodamask]

nice healthy relationship with the home planet there, palps.

[darthvidetur]

The really sad thing about this awful novel is that the author tries to turn Palpatine into a brainless hurr-durr destruction type of Sith. Palpatine was never about “complete destruction.” Anyone who’s taken a longer look than two seconds at his character knows that. He’s not a brute Sith like Nihilus, and in fact in Disney’s new-canon (false canon, tbh) Vader comics, he explicitly points out to Vader that he has no wish to rule over a galaxy of the dead, and he tells Vader to turn down the wanton destruction Vader has been causing.  In the true canon, the EU, he’s displeased over the destruction of Alderaan, he has an actual fondness for his home planet, and he’s a calculating, thinking, cunning evil son of a gun who wants to rule and turn the galaxy to his vision. He wants to become the galaxy’s god. Not destroy it. Not what this stupidly written and boring novel would have you believe. It’s a betrayal of his character, once again, thanks to Disney’s Lucasfilm. 

[banditsheath-deactivated2020121]

John Boyega legitimately deserves the world. He's had to deal with so much bullshit from the day people learned he would be in Star Wars, had his character disrespected throughout the movies, and then treated like shit by weirdos who were obsessed about a shitty fake relationship, and now he's out there with protestors while many of the people who disrespected him treat white celebrities like heroes for posting a black square on instagram.

[darthvidetur]

100%

[salvuc]

i don’t want to be mean or anything but why is Finn on the dvd of TROS? I expected the whole gang, or Rey or Palp, maybe just Ben but Finn... why

[darthvidetur]

This is what is wrong with the Reylo movement, people. It’s filled with stuff like this transparently racist attack on the character of Finn and his actor John Boyega. I know, they’re going to complain that Finn was a “nothing character,” so he shouldn’t be on the disk and “that’s all it was,” but no.  That’s not all it is. Had Abrams gotten his way, Finn would have continued being the co-lead with Rey, but Disney/Lucasfilm got scared of China the Reylos and shrunk him on their posters, and it all went downhill from there. We all know the story.  This was a bonus disk. Let that sink in. Reylos complain that Finn/Boyega is featured on a bonus disk, when their precious white school shooter space-nazi “Ben” is prominently on the cover and the other disk. How DARE Finn be on a TRoS disk?? /s Reylos complain that Boyega made one sexist joke about Finn and Rey and say it turns Rey into an objectified sex object.  Reylos then write 20,000+ erotic smut fics objectifying Rey and Kylo (and also real life Ridley and Driver in many of those fics) and draw even more explicit smut of Rey/Kylo and Ridley/Driver and crow triumphantly about it. Some of them want Driver to divorce his wife and marry Ridley instead. Some of them literally stalk Driver. Literal would-be homewreckers to keep their lily white fictional ship intact.  I am so done with this. I come to tumblr to check out Sheev art and fics and general Star Wars fun, not to have to put up with Reylo racism in the Palpatine tag. Reylos have it out for Boyega. I hope he continues to hold his own against them.  Boyega deserved better than the fans of the sequel trilogy. I wish history could be backed up and Abrams given full story control of all 3 films. Then we would have seen Finn as a triumphant character and a worthy member of the Star Wars saga. He might have been a Jedi. He might have been a mighty resistance leader. He might have been a complex, powerful character. Alas. The Reylos had to be appeased instead, so we got him riding space horses on a star destroyer that doesn’t know which way is up in a side plot screaming Rey’s name and going nowhere. 

[iamdinomartins]

You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness. You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005) Dir. George Lucas

[darthvidetur]

I’m not crying. You’re crying.

[darthvidetur]

A wild Sheev!Fox has appeared! A fox doodle I did for WagIzhen. :) 

[darthvidetur]

Disney Canon is Not Canon

So the Rise of Skywalker Junior Novelization just tried to retcon the established Rule of Two of the Sith Order and say that there are many Sith usually ruled by two leaders. 

I’m speechless. 

Yet another foot in the grave for Disney’s precious new canon. They’re trying to contradict the LITERAL STAR WARS MOVIES 1-6 NOW, not to mention The Clone Wars and all the previous information, and Lucas’s own words. 

Rey isn’t a Mary Sue, but watch ONLY her discover the True Truth about the Sith Lords while all the other Jedi of the entire past could never figure it out, poor stupid things. Guess they can’t read. /s 

Sheer stupidity. 

Sheer. 

Stupidity. 

Disney/Lucasfilm, you played yourself badly here. 

[jedi-order-apologist]

Another problem with all the “If only the Jedi had [done this; allowed that; been nicer/less strict etc etc] then [Anakin wouldn’t have fallen/the Jedi wouldn’t have been genocided]” takes is that they completely disregard the fact that Palpatine’s plans don’t exist in a vacuum. He’s already set things up so that every choice his enemies and pawns could make benefits him, and in the event that one of them makes a choice he didn’t account for (such as Padmé, frequently, but especially in TPM), he’s extremely effective at adjusting to that and taking advantage of the situation.

Obviously the Jedi had agency in their decision-making and are responsible for the choices that they made (which I’d argue were mostly the best ones given the individual situations and information they had available at the time - again, character knowledge is not the same thing as audience knowledge), but that doesn’t change the fact that the entire war was set up so that they would be destroyed no matter what they chose to do. Palpatine would’ve exploited any choice they made, he would’ve seized on any crack that could be found or manufactured in Anakin’s trust in the Order; he would’ve twisted anything and everything against the Jedi, because he wanted them dead. And he held all the cards in this situation. So to say that the choices the Jedi made, or flaws in their culture “led to their own downfall/genocide” is incredibly disingenuous. They certainly weren’t immune to making mistakes, of course, but those flaws and mistakes are absolutely not, in any way the reason they were genocided. They were genocided because Palpatine/the Sith wanted them dead and manipulated things to make sure that happened, and only because of that.

So the only fill-in-the-blank that could possibly work in the statement at the beginning of this post is “had gotten Palpatine killed or incapacitated” or “had somehow been able to keep Anakin away from Palpatine during his childhood” (though that latter one would’ve only saved Anakin, not necessarily the Jedi as a whole). And without knowing in advance that he was Sith, how would they have known that they needed to do either of those things, or had the means to do so?

[darthvidetur]

It’s Sheev’s Fault. Yes, it is. What a lovely Big Bad. 

[darthvidetur]

The next issue of Muun Quarterly is Hot on the Press, guys!! Check it out, featuring Senator Sheev Palpatine of Naboo, photographed by the famous interplanetary celebrity chronicler Wagizhen https://wagizhen.tumblr.com/ .

[darthvidetur]

More Quieev/Shi-Gon. :D I love these two. 

Qui-Gon just called him “Ginger.” Or “Freckles.” Hard to say which from that glare. 

[darthvidetur]

Quieev = Padawan Qui-Gon Jinn and Naboo Ambassador Sheev Palpatine. I love the dynamics between these two: the older rogue Jedi padawan who marches to the beat of his own drum, and the younger abused redheaded Sith Apprentice who always has to cause trouble. The Big Bad of the Saga needs his wholesome Jedi to rein him in. My guilty pleasure rare pairing. 

[starwarsvillains]

Ian McDiarmid as Emperor Palpatine in The Rise of Skwalker

[senatetrash-deactivated20220114]

The true Sith’Ari

[darthvidetur]

Undisputed Emperor and Sith’ari. 

I hated TRoS for what they did to Palpatine’s characterization, motivations, and literally turning him into everything he isn’t (a brainless idiot with no ability to adjust or plan and a wuss whose lightning gently tickles ships while Rey’s explodes them).

For me, Sheev’s driving Rey’s possessed body around now and enjoying trolling the galaxy again in Skywalker’s name as he buries the lightsabers in the sand of Anakin’s slave home as a final FU to the Skywalkers. Good work, Sheev. 

But I loved this expression and that outfit.