[thehobbitchronicles]

[ao3org]

Archive Downtime

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[ao3org]

The Archive will be down for 90 minutes of maintenance at 16:45 UTC Wednesday Jan. 24 (12 hours from now)! Check what time that is for you.

[hikari-ni-naritai]

Cave man who sits at the mouth of the cave during thunderstorms bc he likes horror movies vs pretentious cave man in the back saying shit like 'jump scares not true horror'

[cyclonopedia-deactivated2023111]

never let the haters get to you

[serial-unaliver-deactivated2024]

this guy's next shareholder meeting will be crazy

[sludgebitch]

innocent straight laced business man looking to inject some fun and whimsy in to his every day office wardrobe googles "frog tie" and discovers a whole new world beyond his imagination

[yuridefender]

i do love stories that start out with the protagonist going "hi!👋 😃 i am such a normal guy. the most average person ever.😄 an average joe even. i have no friends or enemies. i spend my time reading books and sing to myself on occasions. nothing to see here! ^^" and it turns out that not only are they a liar but also the most fucked up person ever. and a cunt

[yuridefender]

Followed by change of pov from another character suffering from their proximity

[greater-than-the-sword]

Kidnapped and experimented on by aliens but I was in the control group so nothing happened

[bethanydelleman]

Everyone, we can fix Hamlet and Romeo & Juliet if we just switch the leads.

Romeo wakes up in Hamlet's body and meets the ghost of "his" father telling him to kill his uncle. So if course Romeo just fucking does it, because he never considers consequences, and then gets onto more important shit, like romancing Ophelia, political fallout be damned! But given that he's the son of the murdered king, he'd probably end up on top.

Hamlet wakes up as Romeo and is told that he can't marry the love of his life because his family hates her family. Instead of killing Tybalt and getting Merucio murdered, he's planning elaborate meet-cutes for the two warring families. He's putting on plays about blood feuds and how to overcome them. He either succeeds in bringing the families together or bores Juliet enough with his indecision that the glow wears off and she moves on; both positive options. Everybody lives.

[ekjohnston]

This is much funnier than switching Hamlet and Othello.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading a romance novel where the protagonist feels the need to stop and inform that audience that it's okay for her, a 27 year old, to hook up with a 31 year old because despite the age difference both of their brains are fully developed. the Discourse really has done incalculable damage.

[ascholarlyengineer]

that's...they're adults 4 years apart, who on Earth would think there's any sort of meaningful age gap

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

[justgazing]

This is breathtaking

[amgeforns]

#you know those posts that are like. pulling up a small weed and discovering it's attached to a root system that wraps around the sewer line.#this is one of those.

[louisegluckpdf]

had a terrifying encounter yesterday when i offhandedly said "it's always hot to be covered in blood" and the person i was talking to was like "hm. fascinating that you believe that. let's dig into that." i'd forgotten there really are people who don't intuitively understand the eroticism of being blood-soaked. stay safe out there

[notahorseindisguise]

"i like your tattoos" theyd look better on your bedroom floor

[notahorseindisguise]

yeah flaying alive this is about flaying alive....

[animentality]

kicking a hornets nest.

[brynstellaris]

hey I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was

[sanitymakesposts]

*in a fight* you’re just jealous that my blood gets to go wherever it wants and yours is stuck inside your stupid veins

[cinematicnomad]

(tweet 1) (tweet 2) (article)

[aprilcodescrap]