Dead Raccoons

Sketches and thoughts by Maria Scarborough (AKA Dead Raccoons) during her all-too-short free time. Maria is a freelance artist/illustrator living in the southeastern United States. She has a penchant for classic rock, cats and rabbits and dislikes fruit.

[dead-raccoons]

"You lost, little doggie?" 😱 Abina stumbles upon some very scary saber-toothed cats on her travels… Abina is terrified of sabers, but wants to gather as much wisdom as possible about her environment and her pack's territory, so she volunteers as a scout for her pack. During that task, she wanders onto the turf of a saber pack. The saber pack is led by Rono (bottom reddish coat). He's bossy and a bit arrogant, but he's usually reined in if he gets too uppity by his fearsome mother known as Mother Longfang (top with stripes). She is called so because she's mother or grandmother to most of her pack. She's very wise, cunning and considered a shaman by more than just the saber cats in the area. Mother Longfang enjoys making Abina nervous, but she admires Abina's courage in the face of danger and eventually makes her son let the young wolf go unharmed. Mother Longfang’s other living children are Werna (center tan with spots) and Wren (beside her with brownish fur). Werna inherited her mother's cunning ways and hopes to take over the pack leadership someday. She puts up with none of Rono's bossy ways and can best him in a fight! Her shy sister Wren is somewhat timid, but will fight like a Cave Bear to protect her young. Wren has had bad luck with her cubs. Her first litter was comprised of three cubs, two of which wandered off and were devoured by wolves, so Wren neither loves nor trusts wolves.Her surviving cub from her first litter was Treja (top spotty) who is now a young adult. Treja is very bright and playful and some in the pack say light-headed. Her family jokingly refer to her as Spotty because she kept most of her cubhood spots. Two from Wren's second litter perished from disease before their eyes opened. Her only surviving cub from that litter was Cassius (small cub far left). Cassius is now old enough to start following the pack on hunts and missions (such as this ambush on a hapless wolf), but Wren is very protective of her youngest child and would rather him stay back at the den. Julius (bottom lilac coat) is the father to Treja and Cassius. He isn't known to be a bright cat, but he's a loyal deputy to Rono and an attentive father to his cubs and tender mate to Wren. He pities her loss over her dead cubs and in truth he spoils Cassius a bit. Caesar (middle right grey coat)  is Julius's brother. He's very bad-tempered and only endures Cassius’ joking. He is tolerant of Rono's orders, but everyone knows Caesar would be leader if he wanted that burden. Abina belongs to koeyohte.deviantart.com Check out her art! It's boss! I hope I didn't butcher her appearance too badly, Koey! Saber characters and art belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

Does anyone remember the ABC Saturday Morning cartoon "Cro" about the young Cro-Magnon boy who could talk to wooly mammoths? In the cartoon, two archaeologists find one of his mammoth buds frozen in ice, cut him out, put him in a tub of hot water and under a blow-dryer. It revives him and he tells the two archaeologists about Cro and stories of the Stone Age. Seems legit. Anyway, I was inspired to draw these guys while reading stories about Koeyohte's girl Abina. <3 <3 Abina is a wolf character who lives in Stone Age times.  koeyohte.deviantart.com/art/WT…

[dead-raccoons]

I know this seems like a gigantic Kung Fu Panda rip-off now, Erika Hb, but I created these characters back in highschool when KFP wasn't even a thing. :D This is Mei the giant panda, Neeka the raccoon and Miss Mabel the goose. Miss Mabel is a Christian missionary in the 19th century. She is a spinster goose born into wealth and privilege. Mabel was taught to use her wealth to help others, so she becomes a missionary. She never marries and she is pitied in her society for it. :( Therefore, she never intended to be a parent, but as a missionary to the animal species of the American Northeast she encounters a small orphan raccoon cub named Neeka. In Neeka's society, orphans are not treated kindly; they are usually forced to work hard and are given meager cast-off food and clothing to survive upon. Mabel pities the raccoon cub and takes her home to Canada to raise. Mabel proves a strict, but caring parent to the cub. Mabel doesn't allow the raccoon to practice any of her people's traditions or even use her birth name. Mabel demands Neeka convert to Christianity and she take the name “Mildred.” (Mabel calls her “Missie.”) But Neeka is very devoted to Mabel. She views Mabel as saving her from a life of hardship and rejection which is exactly what Mabel thinks of the situation. Because of this, in some ways, Neeka is very timid and submissive. Mabel teaches the cub to be a servant in all things and be obedient in all things. Eventually, Miss Mabel decides to travel to Southeast Asia (modern day Thailand) as a missionary. Neeka travels with her. There they meet Mei. Mei is in a similar situation as Neeka. Mei was born in the mountains of China, but was displaced by war and sold as a slave to a boar faraway from her homeland. The boar, a cook, is a hard taskmaster and gives Mei the most tedious tasks. The boar's business partner is a water buffalo. He always wanted children, but never married. He's kindly to the orphaned panda cub behind the boar's back and gives her extra food and encouragement. He finds Mei has a great talent for making dim sum and dumplings. :3 When Mei meets Mabel and Neeka, the missionaries aren't doing well. The animals aren't receptive to their message as Mabel keeps telling these people that their faith, values and traditions are bad and wrong. Mei, however, strikes up a friendship with Neeka considering what they have in common. Also, unlike her adopted mother, Neeka is very curious and interested in lifestyles and perspectives different from her own. Mei, a devout Buddhist, shares with Neeka every perspective of her life. Neeka feels she can only be her true self around Mei and only Mei calls Neeka by her true name. Soon the animals in Mei's village grow intolerant of Mabel and plot to drive her out or possibly harm her (as hatred for foreigners, especially those trying to change traditional ways, is sweeping the country). Mei helps Mabel and Neeka escape the village and mother and daughter eventually find passage across the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii and then on to San Francisco. Eventually, when Mabel expires peacefully of old age, Neeka gets the chance to thank Mei for her kindness. Neeka finds Mei when she goes back to Thailand and then travels on to China. (Mei returned to her homeland and found some of her cousins had survived the war.) Mei married a male panda and they had many fat cubs. :3 Neeka and Mei are joyfully reunited and Neeka lives out the rest of her days with Mei's family. The End. Characters and art belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

Does anyone remember the Free Willy cartoon that aired on ABC in the nineties? The boy could "talk" to Willy and the other marine life telepathically and there was a dolphin named Einstein?  

[dead-raccoons]

These are the offspring of my collie characters: Comrade and Blaire. From left: Wolf, Susan, Fly and Piper. Wolf is the collie couple's only biological son. He's the mischief maker of the bunch. He can be mean to his smaller sisters, especially little Piper and Fly, who he thinks is rather stupid. Wolf lives a great deal in his father's shadow and will spend most of his youth resenting that. Susan is mature, but a bit snobbish. She disdains her sisters' games and her brother's immaturity. But she's a natural leader, protecting the little ones from Wolf's aggression. Fly, named after her foster sister Fly the border collie, loves indulging in games and will forever be a puppy at heart. Of all the litter, she looks the most like Comrade and has his soft heart. Her brother and Susan tend to consider her simple-minded, but Fly doesn't really care. She is a hero in her little sister Piper's eyes which is all she cares about. Piper is the runt of the litter and the natural target for Wolf's aggression and Susan's disdain. Piper resents this as she sees herself as brighter than both of them. If she was only bigger and stronger, she could be the leader, but she's grateful to the light-hearted Fly who she can truly be herself around. Blaire is also pictured here with her brood. Art and characters belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

OC October: Oct. 28-29

Buster the buckskin\dun stallion and Ponce the zebra filly.

The story of how these two meet is VERY long and involved and I will definitely share more of it later hehe ;)

Buster is a New York City Police horse. He's very gruff and no-nonsense and is sometimes grumpy, (in my mind he's voiced by Samuel L Jackson :) ) but he's not really bad-tempered. The local bodega cats tease him a lot on his rounds (in a good-natured way) and though Buster acts annoyed by this, he's actually flattered by their attention.

As a colt, Buster dreamt of heroics in far-off places, but when he became a police horse, he put aside such dreaming, regarding it as childish. But in fact he would get to go to Africa someday and -thru complicated circumstances😃-he would meet Ponce there on the savanna.

Ponce is a young zebra filly living in her father's herd on the savanna. Ponce dreams of being a hero too, but she's constantly being told by her mother and aunts to stop dreaming and think about joining a zebra stallion’s herd and having foals. That's about all a zebra mare CAN do, they say.

When Ponce reaches adolescence, she's tired of being considered “weird” by the other zebras and vows to “act normal.” But none of the young bachelor zebras want to fight for her (word travels fast among the zebra herds and no stallion wants a mare like Ponce that doesn't want to settle down and have foals.)

So Ponce is stuck living in her father's herd. Her father, Ros, is very disappointed in her and Ponce runs away from the herd. She eventually meets a young human girl named Li who in similar circumstances (her father wants her to bow to an arranged marriage.) Li and Ponce become friends and they both eventually meet Buster.

Buster greatly admires Ponce though considering how reserved he is it would take him awhile to tell her that :) Ponce is very fond of Buster, but I don't think they would ever be mates, just very close friends. <3

[dead-raccoons]

OC October: Oct. 21-27: Balto's grandchildren! I don't like Balto II: Wolf Quest. :P But I would have liked to see what happened to Aleu in the wolf pack. At any rate, I'm pretty certain she probably had pups ... but with WHO?! :D :D These are Balto's grandchildren: From left: Saba and Talla, brother and sister and pups of Aleu's first litter. Saba is very vain and self-important. He's also Aleu's favorite child. Talla, his sister, gets a lot of "why can't you be more like your brother?" static. :( Talla has very low self-esteem and is a bit of a loner. I think Balto loves her best of all his grandchildren as he relates to her since she's a bit like him when he was an adolescent. Esme is also Steele's granddaughter. :) I like to think Balto and Steele put aside differences after the first movie and became friends in their old age. I think their children might even have mated. <3 Esme wears a kercheif like her grandmother Jenna, who she greatly admires. Klondike is another of Aleu's nieces. I think she might be Nikki's granddaughter! :P She's very laidback and a good wheel-dog. She's very strong. Denali is the eldest of Aleu's second litter which she had by a wolf.(Saba and Talla's father is a husky.) He has a terrible temper and is always getting into fights and basically acting before he thinks. Glacier is his mild-mannered, take-charge sister. I believe she'll take over the wolf pack's leadership after Aleu retires. Glacier is kept busy though keeping hotheaded Denali in line. :D Kangik is Aleu's youngest pup and the runt. He's very close to his sister Glacier and his cousin Klondike. He and Klondike are often seen running around Nome together. Don't underestimate him in a fight though! :D Art and characters belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

We'll name our children Jackie and Wilson,Raise 'em on rhythm and blues.

-Hozier

OC October: Oct.16-20; Clockwise from the top: Stormy, Socks, Sam, Jackie and Wilson. Gosh, I've missed drawing Socks! Stormy and Socks have a very ... shall I say "involved" history which includes magic and music. Long story short, they eventually become mates and have three kittens: Jackie, Wilson and Sam (who later changes his name to Mittens.) Jackie and Wilson die while they are still quite young and - though Socks never mentions it - Sam feel his mother blames him for their deaths.See, Sam is born into a huge extended family of feral cats that have the extraordinary talent for playing musical instruments. Sam has no such ability and feels like an outcast. However, he's ace at "being cat" as his grandmother calls it - that is, hunting, fighting and living as a feral cat usually does.Sam senses his mom, Socks, who was never good at "being cat" resents him for this and a rift is made between mother and son.Characters and art belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

OC October: Oct. 15: Nadia "Lionbiter," an African Painted Dog. Nadia is a fiercely proud painted dog. She is younger and less experienced than her brothers Jac and Domm, but she is a fierce fighter. In the painted dog society, pups are given one name at birth and a second name as adults, usually upon doing some brave or clever deed. Nadia was given the name "Lionbiter" by her pack's elders when she made a brave stand against the local lions in protecting her pack's hunting grounds. Painted dogs are led by an alpha male and female, but subordinate females in the pack may have pups - though all the pups are raised by the alpha female. Nadia was born to a subordinate female and pups born to subordinates usually rank low in pack hierarchy, but Nadia proved a brave fighter and good leader from the get-go, causing the aging pack alphas to choose her as successor. One duty Nadia has as successor is ambassador to the other species in the grasslands. During her time, Nadia is part of a radical experiment among the animals on the savanna - in which the different species come together to fight the tyraniccal rule of a lion pride male named Baba who, along with his pride, plans to wipe out all other predator species in the grasslands. Probably Nadia's biggest flaw is her pride. She believes painted dogs to be superior to all other species and, therefore, is condescending and suspicious of the other predators she must work with. She is also extremely dry - there wasn't much room for humor and fun (even for pups) in her society growing up. Character and art belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

OC October: Oct. 8-10: Keilo, Chea and Celes the cheetah cubs. :) When I was a kid I was bonkers for cheetahs. (I still am :3) These three characters have gone through many incarnations, but basically Chea and Celes are twins. They were separated from their mum earlier than most cheetah cubs would have, but when they wre old enough to survive on their own on the dangerous savanna. It wasn't easy though and that shaped them into the cats they are. Celes is the eldest and most definitely the leader. She teases her brother relentlessly and actually resents him a little. Males cheetahs will sometimes form alliances to bring down large game. Celes is bitter that she's a girl and, therefore, must eventually go it alone as female cheetahs traditionally do. She's very jealous - but secretly admires - the pack of young cheetah males in her neighborhood. Their leader, Togo, is actually very keen on the bold and outspoken Celes. Chea is sensitive and poetic, but that part of his personality he learned to hide and became stoic and mature - growing up with Celes in their circumstances kind of forced him to. The twins met Keilo shortly after they were separated from their mum. Keilo was raised among humans and dogs and the twins see her as an oddball. (The fact that she lost her adoloescent fluff before most cubs do being the least of their reasons.) Keilo can also speak to other animals; she forms a special bond with a young lioness named Wasa which she finds injured and eventually heals. Chea is convinced Keilo has some kind of "magical destiny" and dosn't want to put pressure on her to have a romance. Keilo eventually discovers his feelings and feels angry - not at Chea, but at the fact that she deserves a "normal" life with a mate and cubs. Cheetah males usually don't remain with their mates to raise cubs, but Chea adores Keilo and would probably stay by her side. Celes is VERY jealous of Chea and Keilo' friendship and projects that by being mean to her brother and belittling Keilo who she is very skeptical of. Characters and art belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

OC October: October 5-7: Jayce the brownish-red dog fox and Sabine the reddish-orange vixen and their adopted “son” Terro, a tuxedo kitten.

I created these characters when I was in about the fourth grade (?). According to the story, Terro was the first cat given to the Creek Indians by the Spaniards. Terro became very homesick for his home in Spain and ran away from his new home with the Creek Indians and became lost in the swampy wilderness. There he was found by Jayce, who was all for eating such an easy meal. But Sabine, who always wanted kits, but never wanted a mate, suggested raising the kitten as their very own.

Jayce, who had known Sabine since puphood and had always been devoted to her, complied and they raised the kitten to adolescence. Terro's bold markings and boisterous personality earned him the title of “Prince of Fox Run” - the place in the woods Jayce, Sabine, and the other foxes frequented.

Terro would eventually become too restless and Jayce and Sabine would go in search of a mate for the young tom cat.

Characters and art belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

OC October, baby! Yeah!

Sorry I'm late to the game as usual. :)

So I spent a week in Las Vegas with my sis and her bud Maricar and I promised them I'd draw us as Crystal Gems. I also included my bud Koey because she's SO COOL:D

From left: Zircon (AKA Maricar) a blue diamond/lapis lazuli fusion. She is elegant, smooth and super cool with the grand capabilities of a lapis. Her wings, costume and crossbow arrows are inspired by her blue Phoenix tattoo (which you can't see from this angle:P)

Citrine (AKA Joy) a ruby/Jasper fusion with the short\stout build of a ruby, but the attitude of a fierce Jasper warrior. She's also kinda impulsive like a ruby.

Olivine (AKA me) a super analytical, nerdy Peridot who doesn't like fights or conflict of any kind, but will scrap in a pinch with her trusty spiked knuckles. ;)

Angel Quartz (AKA Erika) is a quartz soldier. Beautiful with mainly defensive weapons (like her iridescent shield) and quirky habits like collecting the bones and skulls of earth animals. Her costume and shield is festooned with the skulls she's scavenged which can make her seem intimidating to others (especially humans!) But she's actually very gentle and good-natured.

[dead-raccoons]

This is Jayce (brownish-red dog fox) and Sabine (reddish-orange vixen). They have a very involved history with a black-and-white kitten named Terro (as in a cat kitten). I want to draw Terro and these two together in the near future. Jayce and Sabine have known each other since puphood and they spurn the solitary life of the fox in order to be together. However, their relationship is strictly platonic. I created these two characters when I was about 9-10 and that's what stuck out to me about their relatioship - they never desired romance despite being the opposite sex. I think at one point Jayce would have wanted to be mates, but Sabine was never for it, so he respected her wishes and they remained tight friends.Jayce is sly and slightly cynical in nature, but also the more playful and prone to jokes. Sabine is cheerful and talkative, but definitely the more mature of the pair.Art and characters belong to me

[giraffepoliceforce]

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

[splintercellconviction-deactiva]

Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf).

By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it’s too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.

You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.

The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.

“Hippopotamus.”

[artdeactivate2025]

This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinned 

[skeletonmug]

Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking “it’s fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders* hippopotamuses. We’ll be fine.”

And at first you are, you’ve learned how to dodge. You’ve learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself.

But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You’re in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded “hippos” around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind.

Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time.

You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees.

The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. It’s musky and slightly foul. It’s the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from.

You sit up, but it’s too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat.

It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It’s between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away.

Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn’t noticed before.

When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human.

“Badger.” they say, with a solemn nod.

[jabberwockypie]

One word: Moose

[myurbandream]

“Our vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-”

BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!!

“That’s called a moose.”

[morebadbookcovers]

Wolverines.

Also.. dolphins.

[ohgodshesloose]

The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planet’s flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivors’ accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared.

You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it with a bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that… thing you encountered…

When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the ship’s air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench.

And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyone’s nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horror’s spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didn’t seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple.

Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank`s vox speaker.

“The humans did say it was “grape” juice that removed “skunk” stench, right?“

[majingojira]

Every night. 

It came for someone almost every night. 

Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight.  They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved.  Sometimes they’d find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again. 

What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror.  Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather.  It had fangs as long as his grasping digits.  Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity.  And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all.

Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it. 

The earth natives called the monster a leopard.  

It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge.  Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster. 

But rumor was that there was worse on this planet.  Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound.

A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed entire units, and let the monster kill with impunity.  While the Leopard wrestled soldiers down and ripped their throats out.  This other monster, the Tiger, killed with its pounce alone.

[lyricwritesprose]

“We’ve been through this,” Group Leader 455 snapped.  “The dissection of an Earth life form will help the scientists make weapons to combat the rest of this planet’s hellbeasts.  And these are domesticated.  Harmless.”

The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they don’t want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but can’t quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent.  “The name of this species,” she pointed out, “is synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians.”  Well, one language out of several thousand—these creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on record—but there was no point in confusing the rank and file.

More not-quite-looking.  455 bubbled a sigh and consulted her scanner.  “That one,” she decided.  “Alone in the separate pasture.  Scans suggest that it’s a male, which means it’s probably weaker.  Possibly it’s kept isolated so that the females don’t eat it before mating season.  And yes, I know some of you are here on punishment detail, but you’re still soldiers of the Imperium.  This squad is perfectly capable of handling a lone, helpless, pathetic male cow.”

[petermorwood]

I’m enjoying this immensely. Wait until the aliens try Australia for size…

It was a strange creature Tar'van glimpsed at on the vast island known to the humans as ‘Australia’.

“I would warn you not to fuck with us, mate.” Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. “If you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back.” To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring.

The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad.

Another moment Tar'van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an ‘Emu’

“Don’t feel too bad,” the prisioner mocked. “We lost a war to the Emu’s as well.”

Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself, Tar'van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of ‘Zookeeper’ after all.

The ‘Zookeeper’ looks off to the distance, where the creature is.

“It’s a kangaroo, leave it be and you’ll be fine.” Tar'van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit.

“That creature cannot possibly harm us.” Tar'van’s squadleader protests. “It is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back it’s head to show this human is a fearmongering liar.”

The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes.

“Fucking do it mate, I dare ya.” The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called ‘Kangaroo’.

“This will be unpleasant.” A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The ‘Kangaroo’ looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air.

Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is the squads leader now.

“I don’t know what they expected.” the human says, smugness filling their tone. “Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-pack and all.”

Tar'van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands.

“Please,” Tar'van bags. “Get us back safely.”

[miracufic]

@kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus?  Why was it necessary?

[kryallaorchid]

oh, mate, you never mess with the emus.

[kawaguardian-blog]

(Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos)

They had faced Emu’s. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu.

Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. “Cassowary…” They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them.

The only ones to survive was the native guide and Tar'van. The guide was carrying the soldier over his shoulder as they made their way back to the settlement. Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically alternating between rocking in complete silence and whispering broken words in horror. When they consulted the native all he said was “Its spring…. Magpie season…”

[lemon-embalmer]

“Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hellhole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!”

“Excuse me,” the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squad’s cheers die on their lips. “This is Japan. You haven’t seen what–”

“Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating!”

The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows.

In an instant, the soldier is the centre of a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all.

But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squad’s medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldier’s armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects aren’t even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier’s body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell.

Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. “Japanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too.”

[murkymuse]

“How?” You ask. “How has your species dominated this planet?” 

The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you can’t help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?)

“Persistence and ingenuity.” The human answers, still smiling. 

It doesn’t matter that this one is your prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as terrifying as their planet.  

[ehyde]

“And scattered about it … were the Martians–dead!–slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man’s devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, had put upon this earth.” 

– HG Wells, The War of the Worlds,1898

[catbountry]

I’m picturing aliens going up against a hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan.

I think at that point they’d just give up.

[invaderdrey]

Or fire ants

[eeyore9990]

No one even MENTIONED snakes yet…

[breelandwalker]

This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE IT.

[fir-trees-unite-deactivated2017]

“Let us try the creatures that the humans keep for domestic companionship”

“Is that a miniature tiger?”

“Why does this human own a small pack of wolves?”

The aliens ask their human captive why small wolves live with them. 

“Oh, you mean dogs? Yeah, they’re the only animals that can keep up with us.”

The aliens look at each other in fear. “What do you mean?”

“Oh well that’s why you guys ‘won’ is because humans aren’t super fast or strong. I think my middle school biology teacher called us pursuit predators? It means we evolved to hunt things by following them at walking pace until they had to stop to sleep and then catching up to them then. Dogs are the only animals that can keep up with us. Did you know one time a pack of wolves tailed a herd of caribou for three days straight?”

“Uh… okay, what about these small round things with big teeth?”

“Omg dude no if you give a hamster enought time that little fucker can chew through concrete :)”

The aliens wonder if the surrender of humanity was a trap.

[grimm-fairy]

Somebody do sharks or sea creatures next. Giant squids would wreak havoc on their ships.

[lady2828]

The aliens have sophisticated technology which pretty much allows them to live underwater, which is something even the inventive humans have never managed. Submarines have nothing on alien submersion pods, which can withstand the crushing pressures of even the darkest depths of the oceans and seas. 

The aliens aren’t expecting any difficulties with their underwater expeditions. Of course, that’s when four of the life signs on the central screen simply vanish, like they’d never been there. 

Alpha turns on the direct communication lines to the remaining submersion pods, and the only thing they hear through the tinny speakers is screaming. 

Alpha resists the urge to turn and stare at the shackled human standing behind them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have no such compunctions. 

The human shrugs. “I mean, we’ve never really been down there so we’re not entire sure, but we’ve heard stories of giant squids and stuff. No smoke without fire, and all that.” 

“There can be neither smoke nor fire underwater, human, cease your prattling.” 

The human snorts. “It’s a phrase. A metaphor? Man, I don’t know, I studied marine biology, not literature.” 

The human is unable to tell them anything useful about what might have happened to the submersion pods, but retrieved footage later shows tentacled behemoths snaking out of the depths of disturbed silt and cold water, and crushing the submersion pods effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull cameras. The monsters have giant beaks which rip through the organic alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the pod pilots within. 

The outer-hull cameras register the blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at the same time the on-board cameras register screaming and the red glow of critical power failure. 

The last thing the aliens can see on the retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike creatures appearing out of the darkness and gloom, creating their own light and descending upon the remains of their brethren. They are accompanied by creatures that look like plastic bags, but which feed upon the toxic remains of the organic alloy of which the pods were made.

The human appears completely nonchalant - there is no love lost between slave and master. “Wait till you see sharks.” 

[endangereduglythings]

I’ve seen this post go around a few times, but this time I have some thoughts: 1) This is more or less the plot of Animorphs.

2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, we’re clearly a Death World.

3) I’m now imagining them deciding to set up a base on the poles, because life on this planet is clearly dependant on plants. So, that frozen wasteland should be safe of any dangerous megafauna. Cue Polar Bear out of nowhere.

[koeyohte]

Wasps and other stinging buggers

[dead-raccoons]

I'm just reading all of these in Peridot's voice...

[dead-raccoons]

My characters Jayce and Sabine!

Art and characters belong to me.

[dead-raccoons]

I watched Bambi II. I was pleasantly surprised. 

Art belongs to me.

[dead-raccoons]

I love lions!

Art belongs to me.