These Lesbians Are Going To Kill Me

I write things. Ellen. Gay. Forties.

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Masterlist

MovieVerse Fic links all go to Ao3.

Requests Tip Jar Classroom WishList

If This Was A Movie

Summary: Agatha Harkness is THE Hollywood Star. America's Lesbian Sweetheart, having been in the spotlight her whole life, she's Hollywood royalty. She's also a single mom to 16-year-old Nicky, a student at SHIELD High School.

Rio is the new science teacher at the school for the Hollywood elite who just moved to LA to escape a situation back in San Francisco. She also happens to have a very strict no dating parents policy.

Of course, they have undeniable chemistry and friends who can't mind their own business.

Pairing/Characters: I'm not ruining the pairings for you. Agatha, Rio, the coven, Wanda, Vision (we love him though), Nat, Twins, Nicky, seriously everybody.

Status: Complete, but I've been making a few revisions/updates.

Good Luck, Babe!

Read AFTER If This Was A Movie.

Summary: Wanda and Natasha's backstory. The years leading up to If this Was A Movie. What really happened, and insights into Agatha's backstory. A prequel of sorts.

Status: Incomplete - WIP

I Am Your Summer

Also AFTER If This Was A Movie

Summary: Summer has arrived, and the coven has time to recover from the events of the previous year. Or so they think. It's a busy few months!

This leads into the full-length sequel.

Status: Incomplete - WIP

One-Shots

WandaNat

Don't Call Me A Liar, Just Don't Lie To Me

AgathaRio

My Beloved Ghost and Me (series)

This House is Haunted

Twin Fire Signs

Ghosts From Your Past

How Long Has It Been?

Rawr! Means I Love You in Dinosaur (series) (completed)

Everybody Do The Dinosaur

She Blinded Me With Science

The Magick From My Hand

Jurassic Park is Frightening in the Dark

Roar at Your Dinosaurs

You're Neither My Friend Nor My Foe (But I Can't Let You Go)

If You Forgive Me All This (If I Forgive You All That)

If You're Ready, I Am Too

Epilogue: You're The One I Want To Go Through Time With

Skates and Stilettos (series with Hannah)

Holdin' Out For A Hero

She's Gotta Be Fresh From the Fight (June 21)

Take a Chance on Me (June 28)

Agatha Harkness x Reader

Baby, I'm Giving You the Mommy Issues (Fem!Reader)

Mrs. Fletcher x Wanda Maximoff

Melt With You Series (In Progress, Stories Below)

I Need Someone Older (two-parter) Completed

Pt. 1 I Had A Dream I Was Your Hero

Pt. 2 Kiss Me on the Mouth

You Will Be My World Completed

At Least Out Loud (I Won't Say I'm In Love) Completed

Holiday One-Shot

Maya Mason x Reader

I Don't Love the Drama, Baby It Loves Me (Coming in July)

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Next installment of Skates and Stilettos will be July 24th.

I’m out of town this weekend for my family reunion, having a good time, and Hannah is also having family time this weekend!

However, we did make ourselves sob from one of the scenes in the next chapter.

Big Agatha past reveal, and it’s a tearjerker!

[newtype-lila]

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

[fexalted]

one of the best parts of making up increasingly wild and specific aus with a friend is sending them posts like "this is sooo blorbo in torture chamber au number 15" and they reply back like "YESSS btw have i told you about my latest idea for how to torture them even more" and you get to enjoy a little snack and kick your feet with glee

[deathbylesbianwitches]

This is @hannah-0730 and I.

[brainsanalysis-deactivated20210]

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Always! Even the most unhinged of things!

[hannah-0730]

Chained and Unspoken

Chapter 1/?

PAIRING: Editor!Agatha Harkness x Nanny!Reader

RATING: Explicit

WORD COUNT: 9.5k

SUMMARY: You’re a highly recommended children’s speech therapist, and one day Agatha shows up out of nowhere and makes you an offer you can’t refuse. You take a position as her live-in Nanny so that you can help her autistic, non-verbal three-year old son, Nicky. The problems? You’re instantly attracted to her. She’s your boss. She’s married. She’s…straight? What straight woman looks at you like that?! Okay, maybe she’s not straight. She’s still married…

WARNINGS/TAGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: sexual tension, Agatha is married to Ralph but trust the process, she is a lesbian and she knows it your honor, you’ll see.

A/N: Thank you @deathbylesbianwitches for reading this for me and listening to me talk about this for months. Full note on AO3!

READ IT ON AO3: If a Flame Should Start

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Go read this!! Hannah has been throwing this idea around for MONTHS!!

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Skates and Stilettos

Chapter 5/35: Someone With Some Potential

Pairing: Head Coach!Agatha Harkness x Hockey Player!Rio Vidal

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The rest of development camp, finishing July, and a gala!

Word Count: 21.5k

Chapter Warnings: Tension, sports?, references to: disordered eating, medical trauma, trauma, Evanora Harkness was a terrible human, shenanigans, mean lesbian, misogyny.

A/N: @hannah-0730 and I have a lot of life events coming up and are having to adjust to every other week for posting. We're so sorry! Damn that illness taking me down for a week and a half.

Also, we see more of my research in action! Including my research in the oil industry. I've had family in the industry, but also, I AM LEARNING SO MUCH. Did more research for this than I did in my master's program...

Read It On Ao3: Someone With Some Potential

[deathbylesbianwitches]

In case you missed it!

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Skates and Stilettos

Chapter 5/35: Someone With Some Potential

Pairing: Head Coach!Agatha Harkness x Hockey Player!Rio Vidal

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The rest of development camp, finishing July, and a gala!

Word Count: 21.5k

Chapter Warnings: Tension, sports?, references to: disordered eating, medical trauma, trauma, Evanora Harkness was a terrible human, shenanigans, mean lesbian, misogyny.

A/N: @hannah-0730 and I have a lot of life events coming up and are having to adjust to every other week for posting. We're so sorry! Damn that illness taking me down for a week and a half.

Also, we see more of my research in action! Including my research in the oil industry. I've had family in the industry, but also, I AM LEARNING SO MUCH. Did more research for this than I did in my master's program...

Read It On Ao3: Someone With Some Potential

[peg-the-empire]

shoutout to everyone in small fandoms who takes a character with one minute of screentime and decides to build an entire universe around them. to the oc creators, the rarepair shippers, the canon-divergence enthusiasts and the people who can’t stop asking “but what if?” and then proceed to spend 50k words answering their own question.

i genuinely think your joy is contagious. fandoms grow because people see someone having fun and think, “wait, i want to play too.” <3

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Lorna Wu in If This Was A Movie. I made people fall in love with her.

My Eve Fletcher/Wanda Maximoff series.

My randomness in the Dino fic.

Yes, it’s still the main characters, but I will utilize those side characters and OCs, damnit.

[ifeveristoday]

Be prepared to get comments like "Your hair is so pretty. You wrote her hair so pretty. Why is she so pretty?" And "Your writing is so good. I can really tell what he's saying and oh he smells so nice. That's a cool looking bag. Your beta has awesome shoes I bet. What's her name?"

Let the endless compliment cycle begin.

[fieldbears]

I’m so into this

[fieldbears]

It's five years later, I just saw this pop up on my feed, and I'm still so into this

[deathbylesbianwitches]

I love these comments.

And the quoting of favorite parts.

And just all of it.

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Skates and Stilettos

Chapter 4/35: Training Season

Pairing: Head Coach!Agatha Harkness x Hockey Player!Rio Vidal

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Returning home, Harkness vacation, DEVELOPMENT CAMP! Things are heating up!

Word Count: 20.2k

Chapter Warnings: Tension, sports?, diet/nutrition talk, health science?, trauma, Evanora Harkness was a terrible human.

A/N: @hannah-0730 and I are so excited about this chapter! Full A/N and such on Ao3. It's so good! Now, to get back caught up and ahead this week...

Also, we see more of my research in action. Did more research for this than I did in my master's program...

Read It On Ao3: Training Season

[deathbylesbianwitches]

In case you're not caught up! New chapter on Sunday!

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Sneak peek!!! @hannah-0730 and I have been hard at work, despite zero cooperation form our families.

[live-from-flaturn]

“But you already wrote that trope.”

[artemisthehuntress]

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Yo

YOU’LL HAVE TO TAKE MY FOUND FAMILY AND ENEMIES TO IDIOTS TO LOVERS FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS!

[pukicho]

i been told i should beware asking you anything since you bite people, is that true?

Come nearer

[deathbylesbianwitches]

If you started singing “Somebody Told Me”, when you read the ask, then you’re my people.

[hannah-0730]

Sunset Dreams

Chapter 1/1

PAIRING: Maya Mason x Cashier!Reader

RATING: Explicit

WORD COUNT: 25.7k.

SUMMARY: You’re an employee at Erewhon. When Maya runs into you, she’s immediately smitten. The problem? You’re uninterested in dating anyone in the industry because of your history. Maya’s not used to being told no. Your repeated refusals only make her more determined than ever to snag a date.

TAGS/WARNINGS: mild angst, some hurt/comfort, mutual pining, age-gap, protective!maya, possessive!maya, top Maya, bottom reader, fingering, scissoring, squirting, face sitting, sixty-nine, ab riding, pussy slap, mommy kink, happy ending

A/N: I am so excited to share this fic with you guys!!! Thank you @deathbylesbianwitches for reading through this and being the best, as always!!! 💜Also, thank you @janethewanderingwitch for being such a sweet, amazing cheerleader and friend! 💜 Also, if you see the Hacks references, yes you did. I finally watched the series, and so yeah, I pulled a lunar. 🫡 I regret nothing.

READ IT ON AO3: Sunset Dreams

[deathbylesbianwitches]

MY BESTIE IS AMAZING AND TALENTED AND I LOVE HER AND THIS IS AMAZING SO READ IT!!!

[deathbylesbianwitches]

Just dropping by to say that I binge read your new hockey fic and absolutely loved it! (Work? What's work ) The Wanda Nat Jen Agatha dynamics reminded me of Movie verse in the best possible way (my comfort fic - I have re read it wayyyy to many times)

Thank you so much! We are working so hard on it!

I love my dynamics with them, what can I say, and Hannah and I are so similar with that, that it really does recreate that whole vibe.

The current chapter we’re working on? Whew. The slow burn is going to kill us all.

I do miss that universe and still have so many plans for it. Except I have to reread the entire thing. I tried to jump into it the other day and was slightly confused as to what was going on. 😂

[deathbylesbianwitches]

I want you all to know that I only wrote roughly 2k words today because of how many videos of different hockey drills I watched, as well as reading about 4v4 scrimmages and watching them, etc.

Also, I have two separate websites bookmarked solely for hockey terms.

By the time we finish writing this fic, I will know more about hockey than the Commissioner himself.

Also, if you aren't reading our AgathaRio hockey fic, you should be.