chill @deathlypond - Tumblr Blog

Ok but … seriously this is the new rule for 2018 and beyond.

One time, Gryffindor reached exactly 69 house points, and for two whole weeks they managed not to gain or lose any by being as boring as possible. It was finally broken when Hermione was awarded 10 points for some good Charms homework, and Ron was subtracted 20 for yelling “FUCKS SAKE HERMIONE” in response

great-tweets

sorry, professor whats his nuts

caspercryptid

thelengendoffredchu

I can’t stop laughing

wilwheaton

aberrantemotion

we should kill everyone on the forbes billionaire list though

miissmoss

the mcelboys whenever they got in trouble during the mbmbam tv show

anotherpapercut

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

anotherpapercut

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

beka-tiddalik

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

tinderpodcast

To all the girls who “Love adventures”

optimalmongoose3

A trip to 7-11 at 12:am is most definitely an adventure

mia-beak

If y’all don’t know how to treat mundane life experiences with awe and wonder at the world then maybe it’s *you* that’s probably boring that’s all I’m sayin

sadclowncentral

aplpaca

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant. you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper. i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A. you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

rodrickheffeley

obsessed with this reddit post

patricide1885

Why are bugs so obsessed with looking like plants be yourself

deathwarlock

A bird wrote this

toastyglow

something I started to realize a few months ago is that “becoming a better person” isn’t born from hating yourself and anxiously striving to do better. it isn’t particularly glamorous or dramatic. it’s just work you do while also taking care of yourself, things like:

-being mindful enough to recognize why you act certain ways -being honest about your baggage -resisting the compulsion to “be perfect" -recognizing the importance of your own wants and needs -educating yourself on issues that pose a stumbling block for you -googling things like “how to talk to people” (you can google how to do anything, even very simple things, and I recommend it) -identifying what behaviors you’d like to change in the future -being prepared to wait rather than seeking immediate reassurance/forgiveness for your own comfort

etc.

anyway thnx for letting me ruminate about this on ur dash, hope you’re having a good day.