Fandom, Mental Health, and Jared Padalecki
Hey Tumblr, itās been several years since Iāve contributed to you other than a reblog here and there. Whatās up? Hope youāre well.
Iāve started this post in my head several times, but as it comes to type it out, I donāt know where to start. I was even going to hold off until I could articulate better, but the #SPNFAMās troubled big brother went and got charged with assault. Weāve all heard it by now, and itās brought up a lot of repressed feelings on fandom for me. Maybe I should just start with what fandom was to me specifically.
For me (and for a lot, if not most of us) Fandom is/was a place for escapism and community. My fandoms spanned bands, books, movies, and shows like many others. Given my mental health struggles in my late teens/early to mid twenties, I leaned heavily into fandom for escapism and distraction. At first, finding people into the same āweirdā stuff I was into and making connections with them was brilliant. Then everywhere I looked fandom politics became more prominent than the media itself and it became toxic and I had to step away. Iām not going to name specific fandoms, but if you care enough, glancing at my tumblr will lay it out pretty clearly.
Now, I do still enjoy media and can occasionally become obsessive like that again when my illness flares up, but I try not to dive in head first. I still go to concerts and live shows for artists I support and am active and admin in a couple fan communities. Itās just not my life anymore.
In the communities Iām still in, there are hundreds of posts and comments about how the artists saved that person. At Q&Aās Iāve been to, there have been several people at each session telling the artists how theyāve helped their mental health, telling them how they saved their lives, crying at them because of this, and so on and so forth. I used to feel the same way about different people at different parts of my life and different phases of my illness. Iām not judging these people; I think itās great they got to express their gratitude in person or in a comment online. I just kind of got over it when one of the artists pointed out that they (the artist) themselves hadnāt done anything other than provide a tool the fan had chosen to use as a coping mechanism at that time - simple as that. Nobody else can save you; you save yourself.
I bring this up because of the whole #SPNFAM thing. Jared himself has been extremely open about his struggle with depression. There are countless tumblr posts, tweets, and other fan-media expressing how much heās helped the poster/creator with their mental health. And thatās awesome. It really is. Thereās the whole Always Keep Fighting (AKF) thing and if it helps people, fucking awesome!
But Jared has always been problematic, and thatās dangerous because of the position heās put himself in as a mental health advocate. Hundreds, if not thousands, of impressionable and, dare I say it, vulnerable people lean hard on him and his positive mental health message and his continued bad behavior puts them at risk. Whether it be publicly feuding with an airline (weird, but essentially nbd), publicly shaming customer service people when heās upset (there are several examples floating around including this one), using his non-apologies to defend his actions and make it seem like bullying others is an actual defense, making rape jokes at conventions, or now getting arrested and charged with assault, I think he needs to step up and live up to the pedestal heās had no small part in placing himself upon.
I mean, yeah, celebrities get themselves into shit all the time, but it just kills me to see someone looked up to in the way he is behave the way he does. He literally has teenagers reaching out to him for help, and his most newsworthy stuff is him being the BIGGEST jackass. I used to be a huge Supernatural fan until the rape joke thing and I couldnāt separate the art from the artist anymore and havenāt been able to sit through an episode since.
When placing himself into the position he has with AKF, heās GOT to know people are watching and looking up to him. Like I said in the last paragraph, literal 15-year-olds are reaching out to him for support. No, itās not his place and he didnāt ask for that. Yes, it happens anyway. Thatās the nature of celebrity and the nature of finding support for mental health outside of the professional field and the nature of fandom and of #fandomfamily and the #spnfam itself. You end up idolizing someone. Then seeing them at their worst and publicly messy like this is heartbreaking. This whole thing really just reiterates the whole ādonāt meet your heroesā thing. Only with tabloids and the internet, thereās no separation between the heroes and the fans anymore. You canāt help but meet them and get to know them in this weird one-sided relationship we all have. Sometimes that person ends up sucking or being a really sad human being. Be better than this, Jared.