oh my fucking god

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@debkzl
oh my fucking god
I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.
The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.
No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.
Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.
When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay
Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe
4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger
1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix
1 TBs ketchup
1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,
1 Tbs bbq sauce
1 Tbs steak sauce
1 egg
mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)
You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf
here's a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!
(6 servings)
-2lbs red potatoes
-1 cup butter (2 sticks)
-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)
-Chives (optional)
-Salt & Pepper to taste
1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don't even have to chop them just wash them
2. boil til soft!
3. Drain
4. Mash (usually they're small enough you can use a fork if u don't have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix
5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing
I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf
So after spending hours combing through the recipes in the comments of this post I have created a cookbook. Feel free to use it. The link should work for everyone, its the only file on the google drive! I have referenced all of the recipes I used, all of which are from this thread. I made it for myself, but figured after all that work I should probably share. Happy spite cooking!
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WjcDfZrPMr0Pw9f5GfEy0aTs2KEx4Pub/view?usp=sharing
This speech-language pathologist taught her dog 29 words, and he can even form full sentences.
Video by Christina Hunger
Dogs actually do have a language center in their brains. They process language just the same way we do, just not as well.
They do understand our words. This is not true of all domesticated animals (horses, for example, can only manage to distinguish a relatively small number of spoken commands…but boy do they know what you’re really saying).
They don’t understand “just your tone of voice” as a lot of people think.
As of 2016 the record vocabulary for a dog demonstrating understanding of words is over 1,000.
So if you give them a way to talk back, they’re going to use it.
The development of language skills is probably a side effect of domestication and of being kept in close contact with humans. A dog that was a better hunting partner would be kept and bred and over time they developed a better understanding of language.
In other words, dogs are pretty dang smart because we need them to understand us.
And also that is a very good boy.
^ Would like to agree and make one amendment - very good GIRL. This is Stella the dog!
Check out the owner Christina’s Instagram: one of the first things I saw was a video where the dog started barking and, when prompted by the owner, said “outside, look look look look look look look, come outside.” Which is basically exactly how one would expect a dog to speak.
The owner described bringing an unknown package into the house, and the dog ran away to push the buttons for “help no no help help” which is also about what I expect goes on in a scared pup’s mind.
In another video, the dog tried to push a button, and the button wasn’t working. The dog paused and then pushed the buttons for “No. Help.”
In yet another (which the owner seemed impressed by), Stella said “come eat come play.” The owner asked the dog which she wanted to do, to eat or to play? And the dog clarified “come eat.” After eating, then the dog tried to instigate play. So the dog may have been able to understand a short spoken question, and how “questions and answers” work, and also understands sequences, even if she can’t express them (”I want to eat, THEN I want to play”)
Stella can even recount short-term memories, like when her family returned from the beach for dinner and she said “water good, no eat, play”
By the way, the owner uses the buttons as well, which probably really helps reinforce their meaning. She uses them to say things like “Stella all done eat” or “Stella and Christina go outside, bye!”
Wanna know my favorite part? Stella sometimes pushes the buttons for “Stella good” when she’s done a good job. Stella IS good! :D She also makes phrases using “love you,” like “Christina, love you, come play!”
It’s one of my favourite IG accounts ever. Christina documents Stella’s progress, and she can be seen asking questions, commenting on things that make her happy, ask about a family member when they’re not around to express that she misses them, ask for help, have conversations with four or fives exchanges, etc. One time iirc the button for “beach” was broken so instead she said “water outside” which imo demonstrates incredibly complex thinking. It’s like she couldn’t wait to be able to talk!
@moose-teeth this is just so 😭😭💕💕💕💕
when they say simpons did it already
they’re not fucking kidding
Harry Styles photographed by Casper Wackerhausen-Sejersen for Beauty Papers Magazine
Henry Cavill and his thighs of steel.
How many people crashed into this mirror before they put up that sign, do you think.
better question: how many people accidentally stepped into the Mirror Zone
awful suspicious that theres quotation marks around “mirror”
“accidentally”
it’s so funny to me how biden as a human being is almost inconsequential to biden the candidate. he sniffs hair and butchers speeches and generally shambles around as a senile old corpse and people are still voting for him because he’s the obama guy. i hate this country
Biden is a clown but I don’t give a shit. If he becomes the nominee I will be 100% percent behind him. Anybody but fucking Trump.
that’ll learn ya
she was just thirsty :(
I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE
Hero Rats
@jitterbugjive
THEY’RE SO CUTE AND GOOD AND SMART AND HAVE JOB
I’ll always reblog hero rats!
this same species is also trained to identify tuberculosis in samples by smell, meaning they can test for TB at a rapid rate with a high accuracy :)
The organization that trains the rats is APOPO
You can sponsor a rat and you will get adorable personalized emails telling you how well “your” rat is doing! I did this for my sister a few years ago and she’s still getting emails about Martok the HeroRat’s mine-clearing successes and called it the best gift ever.
SPONSOR A RAT
Here is the page for a pop rat sponsorship!