Unacceptable gains

[cottoncandylesbo]

just because the anvil hasn't fallen on my head yet doesn't mean i have avoided it. they're making some sneaky anvils these days.

[littlepriests]

My new thoughts are 1) Can you die from drinking too much water (like a gallon)???? 2) If I feel too much joy will God decide my time on Earth is complete and kill me? 3) How to make sure god/s can't kill me

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[doubleca5t]

World Heritage Ask

[cryptotheism]

Sea captain who is into wreckplay: What did ye say ye did fer a living?

Girl who just invented the darkhouse: yeah so basically it makes the coast dangerous as fuck

[helldevilsfromsatanland-deactiv]

last night i moved big heavy cases around a convention center and then overnight i dreamed about moving big heavy cases around a convention center and then today i moved big heavy cases around a convention center. the three times are really one

[adastrabbit]

"hogwash" still one of the best words ever. this shit is so unbelievable its pig water

[maykitz]

[birdbigbutch]

you stole dog blood

[vhs-dvd-comboplayer]

[dreadwedge]

if i was pixar they would have been named mr inchristable and eclesiastigirl

[relelvance]

He's so 40-year-old-twink coded like I know Yosemite Sam had that kitty oinking

[relelvance]

Are you guys mad at me

[maxxie-or-smth]

we need a surgery that removes you from your body

[teaboot]

on it boss

[hacash]

It's still so funny to me that hobbit society has technology like pony-traps and handkerchiefs and post offices but the realms of Men and Elves, at least, are very much still in their version of the High Middle Ages. I would kill for a scene where Aragorn starts doing the whole Galavant thing - we shall meet when the night air grows as chill as the depths of Moria and the setting sun colours the sky that particular shade of blue as to recall to us the sinking of Numenor into the very Sea Itself - and Pippin just goes 'have none of you guys ever learned to use a freaking clock'.

[hacash]

Frodo offers to buy Gandalf a watch so he can actually be on time for once and nearly gets bodied into Bywater Pool.

[hacash]

Sam is nearly reduced to tears upon trying to learn Gondorian recipes because all the cooks in Minas Tirith are using that old medieval technique of recite five Paternosters and the fish will be perfectly fried. Please. They're called egg-timers. Every hobbit has one. He'll buy them one himself if they'll just let him cook like a normal person.

[hacash]

WAIT FUCK HANG ON

‘In the house of Elrond, and it is ten o’clock in the morning,’ said a voice. ‘It is the morning of October the twenty-fourth, if you want to know.’ I seriously doubt Elrond has a big old cuckoo clock hanging around Rivendell and messing up the aesthetics so wizards evidently do keep timepieces about their person. Does Gandalf have a Rolex?

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Gandalf knows exactly what time it is and is late on purpose.

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

it blew my vagina clean off its hinges

[whitegirlsaintshit]

-the reviews on the side of dr. bronner’s peppermint castile soap

[cottoncandylesbo]

me at work: AHHH do NOT put cock and TIT on my dache boardt my BOSS is LOGGING IN to my ACCOUMT and BROWING my LIKED POSTS!!!!

me at home, sloppily spilling red wine on my shirtless belly: and anogher girl getting fuchked by a bug jeeves. jeeves show post

jeeves: do you still want the-

me, throwing my still-full wine glass: OF COURSE I STILL WANT MY FLUTTERSHY T-SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rudeteens]

Big papi Protozoa in the club shaking that flagella

[ellensilica]

narcissus: lets put on sunscreen to prevent sunburn and melanoma

echo (doing an endearing consonant change): sunsgreen

extremely colourblind dog: that could be true. for all I know

[vetchtibbles]

canoeing is a fantastic word . those vowels are absolutely out of control in there

[1percentcharge]

i have so little respect for people who are like “women should serve their husbands” and i wouldnt say i have less respect for women who say it than men per se but it definitely is more baffling to me. husbands are not gods or world leaders or celebrities theyre just Guys. they’re literally just guys. there are millions of them. and statistically at least half are less intelligent than the women they marry. spouses should support and care for each other of course but imagine believing your purpose in life is to obey Some Guy. imagine thinking so little of yourself

[deepantithroat]

For me, it's just as gross as the people who glaze their bosses but with the added layer that you've decided 'some guy' is your boss now when that didn't need to be the case.