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@deermothermoon
Feefal on Instagram / Tumblr
Favourite Designs:Ā Frieda LeopoldĀ āThe WitchāĀ HauteĀ Couture Gown [x]
1900s french lace cape / black arches moth
Yeah you look good but ya soul dont
āwow youāre so mature for your age!!?!?!?!!?!!?!?!!!!ā
thanks, i raised me myself
Dont. Hit. Your. Children.
We know, from over 50 years of data and study, that it is incredibly detrimental to use physical force to punish children. Yes, this includes spanking.
Instead:
Model proper emotional response for children.Ā
Understand where misbehavior comes from
If a child is overwhelmed, remove them from the overwhelming situation.
If a child is hungry or tired, address those needs.Ā
If they are throwing a tantrum in the department store, take them somewhere quiet and let them cry until they are calm. Theyāre probably just bored or cramped or overwhelmed and need a minute.Ā
Address the cause of misbehavior, not how it manifests.Ā
Make sure things like transitions, when you are leaving or moving on, are clearly communicated. Sudden transitions can be a huge trigger for tantrums. Best to try and mitigate with proper advance notice.Ā
Explain your reasons to children when you are enforcing rulesĀ
Listen to children when they explain their objections to rules. You donāt have to agree with them all the time, but you should listen.
Understand that you, the adult, can also be overwhelmed, tired, hungry, and frustrated too. Acknowledge, to your kids, out loud, how these things are impacting you and apologize if you snap at them unfairly. Again, this is modeling emotional response.Ā
Make the rules clear, simple, and consistent. Donāt change what the rules are based on your mood that day, or if you must, explain it before hand. If you normally let them play video games in the car, but you canāt today because your head hurts and your driving to a new place and you need to concentrate so you donāt want the sound to distract you- explain that to your kids. If they counter withĀ āI have head phones. Is that ok?ā Then, yeah. Itās ok.Ā
If you need to have consequences for their actions, then actually follow through. Donāt threaten with consequences that you wonāt really do. That makes it a lie, and makes it super ineffective in the future.Ā
Make consequences fit the behavior. Explain why that is the consequence.Ā
Some good consequences might include: cleaning up a mess they made, taking a cool down time for a few minutes, not getting to a special treat like a trip to the movie theater with their friends, etc. Remember, we are trying to avoid physical pain as a form of punishment.Ā
Speak to children respectfully and prompt them to speak respectfully back.Ā
Choices. Give kids a reasonable, manageable number of choices. Do you want to wear the green shirt or the blue shirt? Do you want Cheerios or waffles? Carrots or green beans? Do you want to give grandma a hug or a high five? Older kids can handle more choices than younger ones. Ā
General rule of thumb: You arenāt trying to raise an obedient child. Youāre trying to raise a thoughtful, respectful adult. And you have to be a role model, not just in what you say, but also in what you do.Ā
And donāt. hit. your. children.Ā
People disagree and make excuses for hitting your kids but I grew up in a household where we were spanked with the belt/bare hands when we were ābadā and all it did was instill anger/fear/resentment towards my parents rather than teach us a lesson. We learned to avoid those actions because they would result in pain, not because we thought we were doing something wrong.
me running after my pets to see whatās in their mouths
kids*
Never trust someone who isn't kind to animals.
Licia Ronzulli, member of the European Parliament, has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the Parliament sessions for two years now.
Every time this is on my dash, itās an automatic reblog.
Mom chic
I know itās hard mama. I know it can be hard to get up every day and have these little people rely on you. I know itās hard to sometimes feel like your world is so small. I want to remind you, you are the world. You are the world that those little ones revolve around. You are their nurture, their home, and their comfort. You are everything to them and I hope even on your worst days you know how special you are, especially to your little people.
(via xomamabear47)
Don't take many of these