soap sits by the door all night, ear pressed to the wood. he listens for anything- making sure that ghost’s not being unsafe or maybe he’ll want to talk? but soap knows that’s wishful thinking at the moment. he knows how his boyfriend is.
“ ‘m right here for ya si…” he whispers through the door, picking the now dried blood off from under his nose. silence. if soap couldn’t hear the soft, sometimes ragged breathing coming from the bathroom, he’d think ghost climbed out the window.
soap stays there. he sleeps there. he doesn’t leave simon’s side- even though there’s a door between them. soap feels terrible. he should’ve given him space, he should’ve listened. thoughts swirl his head as his eyelids grow heavier.
ghost doesn’t sleep, how could he? his mind is stuck in what seems to be an endless loop of flashbacks of his father and hitting soap on repeat. he sees the shadow under the door and knows that it’s soap waiting there. in his mind, ghost begins to draft out his breakup with soap. it’s better this way after all. right?
ghost opens the bathroom door and watches as soap’s sleeping form begins to slide down the door frame. reluctantly, he gently slides his arms under soap’s frame, picking him up and placing him softly on the bed. their bed.
soap stirs, opening his eyes to see simon standing over him,
“h-hey,” he says, pushing himself up on his elbows, “do you wan-“
“i think we should break up,” ghost cuts him off, his voice cold, yet shaky.
soap feels the air leave his chest, a bewildered look on his face. he just stares at his boyfriend, mouth hanging open, no words.
“no.” soap says, matter of factly
“johnny pleas-“ ghost’s voice wavers.
“no! why would you even- no! why would we do that?” soap asks, getting slightly frustrated, “no, you don’t get to break up with me! not after that, no.”
ghost places a tentative hand on his shoulder, “johnny-“
“no, don’t you johnny me! why? why huh?” he says as he pushes ghosts hand off of him, feeling tears well up in his eyes. this just can’t be.
“i-i hurt you. i didn’t even- im just like my father. we shouldn’t be together.” he says, hanging his head.
soaps face drops, that’s what this is about? how couldn’t he have noticed? i mean, he had a feeling that’s what was going through ghosts head in the bathroom but soap never thought that this would be a reason to break up. he feels a single fat tear fall down his cheek.
“simon…” he whispers, reaching out to him.
to soaps surprise, ghost bridges the gap between them, sitting down on the bed next to him. soap gives him a look, as if asking for permission, ghost nods before pulling soap into his lap.
“it was an accident, ’s not your fault si..” soap whispers into the crook of the others neck, tracing circles into the built man’s back.
“doesn’t change anythin” simon sighs back.
soap pulls away slightly, looking into the man’s eyes, “it changes everything. look at me, i’m fine si. ‘m not mad, not upset, i-i just want to help you okay? i should’ve listened when you were upset and given you space. i should’ve- handled it better”
ghost squeezes johnny a little tighter hearing this, “not your fault, could never be johnny.”
soaps shoulders begin to rise and fall, he presses his face harder into ghosts shoulder. he’s, crying? ghost pulls him out of his neck and looks him in the eyes.
“i love you, i don’t want to break up!” he cries, effectively breaking ghosts heart. “y-you didn’t know what you were doing, that look you had, si you didn’t mean to! you’re not bad! i-i just want to be with you, help you!” johnny is on the verge of hysterics, he breathes in hard, steadying himself.
“you’re not scared?” ghost asks,
“how could i be?” soap answers, a loving look on his face.
and with that, ghost pulls them both down to lay on the bed, holding johnny close. the dread and guilt he had felt earlier have been subdued to a dull roar, allowing him to think a bit more clearly.
“i’m sorry,” he says quietly, stroking johnnys scalp lovingly.
“i know, don’t be.” soap says, settling further into his boyfriends grip.
“i-i didnt know it was you,” he says, barely above a whisper. hes embarrassed.
“i know, and we’re gonna work on it. ‘m always gonna be here for you, ya big lug. wether you like it or not.” johnny says softly, “i love you. i always will. no matter what.”
“i love you too,” ghost says, a sense of relief washing over him.
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