It's time to roll the dice

Matt, he/him, demisexual, 26, UK Sorry in advance for the untagged hellscape that is this blog

[cwhapd]

[coolxatu]

king

[poor-ciceros-voring-again]

Why would you hide this in the comments

[zackmephisto]

[ars0nism]

nokris: join us guardian savathun is the answer

eris: silence twink

nokris:

[philosoverted-deactivated202006]

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

[systlin]

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

[gallusrostromegalus]

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

[filthyprotozoan]

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

[hubris-i]

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

[fridge246]

tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc. 

wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades

[jemthecrystalgem]

Sorry it’s what to elves

[dvandom]

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

[endreal]

Legolas said fuck the horizon

[jayviked]

was too busy laughing about the failed nature skill check comment to stop recording

[odd-alchemist]

It’s time we talked.

[unamusedsloth]

Unnecessary Explosions.

[ughstuffandthings]

Absolutely necessary*

[devybear99]

This is the fucking best

[catchymemes]

Opening up a pineapple

[simonalkenmayer]

Wait a moment…

Why do I have the feeling no one knew this before? Is this revelatory? Damn. I could have enlightened all of you. Ah well, these gents did a fabulous job.

I discovered this method through trial and error, while stealing pineapples in London. You have no idea how baffling they were to me the first time I saw one, but I knew there was delicious fruit inside, because by god, I could smell it.

[rednightmare18]

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

[witcheshaven]

[quoms]

Now this is good fucking content

[m--ood-deactivated20181217]

Magical encounter while free falling.

[baconmancr]

Can you imagine being that bird? You see a big falling dot off in the distance, so you go to investigate. And it’s a human. Just, like, hanging out, in the middle of the sky. Plumbing toward earth at terminal velocity.

“Huh, that’s weird” you think to yourself.

You land on them. They seem nonplussed by their predicament.

But you’re a busy bird, you’ve got places to be. So you just fly off. Good luck, crazy human. Hope you make it.

[goddesssword]

[quasi-normalcy]

“Oh, hey, I guess they can fly. I did not know that.”

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

Someone made a tiny window into Rivendell that you can put on your bookshelf!

And the tiny book inside it is written in tengwar… I’m dying

I mean look at this!

It’s so beautiful.

[ghostpalmtechnique]

Extremely this.

[lankybrunettepartdeux]

[sashthesloth]

It’s winter fashion time

[darknailpolishsociety]

This was probably dramatically amazing thing I saw on the internet today.

[courting-starlight]

Here's the whole song, this part is 1:38 :D

[tolkien-shitposting]

A dose of Noldorin sass.