The lion's mistress - last chapter
"The whore has to go. Jaime will never see her again." He was his big brother, the saviour of the family and the quintessence of being a Lannister. Cunning, powerful, the one who cared about him, the one who had tried to make another Kevan out of him. Tywin was Kevan's God, Genna's hero, Tygett's rival, the King's hand, Lord Lannister, destroyer of two houses, punisher of poor defenceless women. The great lion of house Lannister. He couldn't look him in the eyes, he had always joked about Tygett and his incapacity not to take everything so seriously. He wished so much that he could just laugh, reject this story with a simple shrug of his shoulders. He desired. But he wasn't able to. "I'll take her away" He turned the back to his brother, he would take the poor girl away. Away from the dangerous beast that he called brother. The girl refused to take any milk of the poppy. The maester tended her wounds, two servant girls took care of her. He didn't post any guards since his brother didn't want to punish her any further. She was safe. He laughed bitterly. "Cersei, we have to talk" She was sitting on her windowsill, pale with swollen purplish neck "I... tried to... stop them" The words came painfully slow, the worst thing were her begging and fearful eyes. 'Believe me please' this was he could read. She didn't need to feel sorry, it wasn't her fault. He was the one who destroyed her. "Cers...Sweetling, I know. I don't blame you, but you see, this changes everything…" "Jaime…" She rasped, he hastened by her side and noticed how she winced from his touch. "Sweetling you can't be Jaime's mistress anymore." "But, but…" "Sweet girl, Jaime will marry Lysa Tully and Lord Tully will not tolerate you… Ever." He paused observing the girl. "You see this marriage is very important, it's a pity you both are so young, he just can't keep a mistress before marrying. He crowned you his Queen of love and beauty before half of Westeros! Lord's Tully pride will not accept this…" He knew he had to add a further injury "...Jaime will not accept what happened to you either…" She had been a strong and proud little thing, but after what she had gone through he wasn't surprised she started to wail. Raw and heart wrenching. He had dreaded this. She tried to speak but he couldn't understand the words. "I'm with child" She sobbed full of phlegm and pain." .Jaiiimeeee" Fools, golden fools. Jaime, the girl and worst of all himself. She would alternately cry and speak. With him only. Tywin was on his way to Kingslanding and Gerion was glad. Jaime's stay was prolonged to his nephew's dismay and his own relief. Tywin would take care that Jaime would be away from the Westerlands for a year or more. He knew how much his nephew hated to write, and he felt awful reading Jaime's letter to him and for Cersei. His love for her, his wish to make a babe as soon as possible. 'Please uncle Gerion take care of her.' One could say he was taking care of her. Still he felt the lowest as he made her believe that due her spoiled status Jaime wouldn't have wanted her anymore. That the men were surely sent by Lord Tully. That she needed to go far away, to have her child. As he saw how desperate she was he knew he had to give her some hope thus he lied again. He lied about pleading her cause and maybe after some time when Jaime would pardon her and Lord Tully would forget her, he would take her back to Jaime... Awful lies. She couldn't stay in Westeros if Jaime shouldn't find her. He had wished to tour the Free Cities as long as he could remember, but this journey would forever leave a bad taste in his mouth. He spoke with Lena about his journey and to his surprise she was adamant to come with him. Trying to reason with her wasn't possible. She didn't wish to marry and this was the reason they had started their tryst. "No one will marry a barren and spoiled daughter, no matter how rich my dowry would be." She had stated. Intelligent and funny, Lena. "If I travel with you my father will not be able to sell me to that awful fat merchant with seven children. Spoil my reputation more" A female presence would have been good for the girl, he told her as much about Cersei's life without divulging Tywin's role in her misfortune. Lena's eyes shined strangely as he told her about Cersei's pregnancy. Gerion Lannister, his mistress, the mistress of his nephew and his crew sailed on the "Laughing Lion". No one felt like laughing. She was miserable, she looked so young and lost, despite the pain she must still have felt she didn't lament. During the night she forgot her stoic behaviour. She cried and called for Jaime. He didn't know if it was the pregnancy or the motion sickness, but she vomited all day. He almost hoped she would lose the babe, so she could start a new life, but Lena told him the child would give Cersei the strength to survive. Unfortunately Cersei didn't open herself to Lena, when she wasn't puking, she watched the sea, when she spoke she could only talk about Jaime and the son she was carrying. "She hopes Jaime will take her back if she'll have his son" Lena suffered with the girl, but sadly they remained strangers to each other. Lena wasn't a noble, but her family was rich, Cersei the bastard daughter of a whore and an unknown father… no, the two ladies didn't have much in common. The ship ride wasn't the happy laughing matter he had dreamt about. It was uncomfortable and painful and he was happy as a they reached Lys. In Lys he rented a small sunny house. A house Cersei didn't leave for the whole duration of her awful pregnancy. The birth was something he wished he would forget someday. Her not ending screams and suddenly the silence. Lena came out radiant, smiling through tears a wailing bundle in her arms. "Did she die?" "No, look at this little jewel, she is perfect, isn't it?" "I mean Cersei…" He looked at the little bastard. Jaime's first born daughter. A squealing pink thing. So little, so precious. He didn't fight as Lena put her in his arms. "Hello, little cub. You are the pinkest thing I've ever seen. What's the name of this sweet darling?" He asked Lena. "Cersei wanted to name her Jaime, but I think she believes she is a boy. The maester gave her a generous amount of milk of the poppy. Oh you are the cutest little girl, Gerion she looks like you!" "She is a Lannister she can only be beautiful...how is Cersei?" "She is sleeping!" Did he hear some contempt? "Now this little lady and I will go to the wet nurse. You are hungry aren't you, my little cub?" Cersei was still weary as he spoke with her. "Cersei, you did wonderful. Your daughter is beautiful" "Daughter?" She chewed the word confused. "Yes, she is healthy and...pink and without a name." "Jaime, my son Jaime" she fought to keep her eyes open. "It's a girl. You have a daughter." "Jaime. Jaime." "How long does she have to take the milk of the poppy?" A week passed and Cersei was still abed, still drugged. He was afraid, childbirth scared him, his mother passed away soon after his birth, he didn't want for the girl to die. With Cersei dead everything would be easier, but she suffered enough, she didn't need to die to simplify the life of the Lannisters. Lena was holding the babe in her arms, already a familiar sight for him and everyone else in the house. Lena was always with the babe. She slept in the room with the wet nurse and the babe. "Gerion, she is hurt, the maester gave her something to stop the milk flow and this makes her sleepy." "Wouldn't it help if she nursed the little one?" The babe was becoming more beautiful everyday. He marvelled, the little thing survived the rape, the journey and she came out pure and clean, little pouty mouth, golden hair and green eyes. A little Jaime as a girl. "Do you think she is fit to be a mother? Gerion, she is a child herself, she can't be trusted with such a task." "Lena, we will not stay here forever. Cersei needs to be trusted with this task, she is the mother. I'll leave money enough for a tutor for… the child needs a name!" "The child needs a name and a family" She was firm and she looked in a way he didn't want to understand. They had taken her baby away. It had been awful, Lena and the midwives had bossed around. Push, breath. Blood and shit and pain. So much pain. And then the babe came out. All this pain for a daughter, a daughter she never saw. Ser Gerion asked her to name the child, Jaime should have named his daughter. Ser Gerion could name her. A bastard she may be, but still a Lannister. Gerion named her Joy. Not Joanna for the daughter of a whore. A servant brought her in the late morning. The babe screamed and Cersei was glad as Lena took her away, this way she could sleep. She didn't want to think. Cersei feared not to be as beautiful as she had been anymore. Lysa Tully with her auburn hair, big blue eyes and her tight virgin cunt infested her dreams. Jaime had loved her breasts, he hadn't been able to keep his hands or mouth away for too long, her breasts would have sagged if she had nursed Joy. Her own mother hadn't nursed her and she had grown just fine. The wet nurse with the enormous teats had surely more milk and Lena had approved her decision. The bitter potion that the maester gave her made her so sleepy, she hadn't any force to hold her little girl, not like her daughter seemed to mind. Joy was always crying, the few times the nanny and Lena allowed her to hold her. She preferred Lena and Gerion. She didn't know what her feelings towards her daughter were. If only she would have been pregnant sooner, Jaime would have never had done this to her. She loved how delicate and beautiful she looked, just like Jaime. After the birth she had cried her breasts full with milk, her body not understanding that it was over. She was just Cersei, not the maid slut, not the lion's mistress, not the used whore of Lannisport. Now that she wasn't with Jaime's child in her womb, she felt how empty she was. She would never feel whole without him. She had wanted to be the mother of Jaime's child, but his daughter rejected her like her father before. She exploded one night as she had wanted to hold her, one of the servants had brought her a cup warm wine with egg and sugar, this helped her to sleep. Joy had been sleeping peacefully, Cersei had been almost afraid to bother her, but she was her mother! A mother should have been able to kiss her baby. Joy had opened her eyes and after recognising her, started to cry. The late hour, the wine, the memories of all the pain she had endured...Cersei felt hate towards the loved and pampered babe. Her voice dripped with venom "I forgot Lannisters don't like whores! But you aren't a Lannister. You aren't better than me. Your grandma was a whore, your mother is a whore. Your father will never recognise you, like mine didn't. Why are you always crying? Why don't you like me, you little bastard? You are like me, no one wants you. You will become a whore like me. You are no better." She was yelling, shaking the babe, Joy was crying at the top of her lungs. She never heard the nanny and Lena shouting, suddenly Joy was gone, and someone was hugging her. "You didn't want me to nurse my baby because I'm a dirty whore." She wasn't sobbing anymore. Lena had been outraged and would have liked to yell at her, but he ushered her out the room. "No, it's just, you are a child yourself, just a little girl…" "She hates me, I'm her mother and she doesn't want me, Jaime doesn't want me, no one wants me…" Maybe Lena was right. "I know what she had to suffer, but I know that Joy deserves more than the girl could give her. It isn't her fault, but she was raised to be a whore, what she had to endure was awful, but it doesn't change the fact, she will not be a good mother. Joy is a Lannister, don't you want her to be happy and safe? No one would touch a Lannister, but the daughter of a whore is free, wild. She is adorable! She could be my daughter, our child. Think about this." He explained her Lena's plan. They would raise Joy as his and Lena's daughter. She would get enough coins to live comfortably, the house, a few servants, a tutor to teach her to write and read. She nodded. He'd believed it would be a good idea to take her outside for a walk. They would travel back in a fortnight, Lena was happy and couldn't wait to come back with 'their' daughter. They had strolled at the port, Cersei was slender and even more beautiful and womanly than before, in Lys her beauty surpassed those of the women around her and many men looked after the girl. She was stiffer than before after they walked by a brothel. Looking at him strangely. In the night she visited him. "I'm not a Lannister but I pay my debts too." She whispered stripping her nightgown. "Cersei, sweet girl you don't need…" "Don't you like me?" What a question. She looked like the Maid in flesh, and Gerion's body couldn't help but responded to her beauty. He hadn't slept with Lena in months and… "You don't want this" He stated, her hands were trembling. He wouldn't sleep with an unwilling woman. "But I have to, and you will not hurt me" Her voice was flat and unsure "You have to? Well you are young and if you want to take a lover…" "I'm not supposed to sell myself?" "Why would you? I told you, you can live here…" "And you showed me the brothel where I can work." She was still naked and trembling. "Please put your robe on. You don't have to be a whore anymore. I'm rich, my family is rich, my brother was...generous" He hated calling the man who hurt her generous. "Your bills will be paid. If you want to sleep with someone it will be because you want to." "I want Jaime…" She threw herself in his arms, he hugged her back. In his mind damning his body, his brother and men generally. They took Joy away from Cersei. The route to Lannisport was an easier one, Lena sang and played with 'their' daughter. Back at home they decided to live together at Casterly Rock, his family accepted Joy. Jaime came back. He had to lie again. It wasn't a lie, it wasn't a lie, it wasn't a lie "Jaime, she was a whore. Whores lie. She was scared you'll like your bride more than her and since she wasn't pregnant she fucked some other guys. This way she could have greeted you with a pregnant belly and you'll have recognised her bastard as your own." "Don't be disappointed, whores are like...rats, they try everything to survive. As she saw her plan was ruined she packed her things. It's for the best, she'll be back at King's Landing, with people she knew." Jaime believed him. Every world he had spoken. Why not? He trusted him, he was his uncle but more like an older brother to him, he bought him his first pony, his first woman. Images of her hunted him. Her body beaten and bruised. Her screams as she birthed Joy. That night as she tried to seduce him. The brave girl, the crying girl, the shaking girl. He would be a father to her little girl, but it would never be enough. In this moment he saw how the innocence left in his nephew's eyes died The same way it died in Cersei's. They still were beautiful and golden, but something in them was lost He believed him, of course he did and left him with a nod. He couldn't bear to be near Jaime, couldn't bear to taint the poor girl no more. A quest. This is what he needed. Doing something heroic or dying while trying. Lena would care for Joy and with a mission to fulfil he would maybe be able to forgive her, himself and the whole mess. "I'm going to find our ancestral sword" He dreamed of her every night She fucked some men, men without a face, but sometimes even friends of his. Soldiers, bakers... it seems to him that every man he spoke with, would visit him in his dreams. She moaned, screamed wild and beautiful. An obscene bacchant shamelessly offering her body to all the cocks around her. A whore in body and soul. He saw her everywhere even in his children's faces, in uncle Gerion's little bastard...everywhere. It didn't help that she was as blond and green eyed as his family. He could have choked on his hate. In bed with his wife he had to control himself, Lysa wasn't Cersei. He wouldn't hurt her. He bedded his wife every second day, but he hadn't slept in her room, not even one night. After he spent himself inside her, he would thank her and would go to his chamber, with a hunger that the couplings with his wife couldn't assuage. She had replaced all his blood with poison and it burned him from within. He would find her. She would look at him with the smile he had thought was her genuine smile, the innocent smile of a young girl, she would lie to him, maybe she would cry and throw herself in his arms. She would kiss him, lure him with that lush rotten treacherous body of her. He would play her dirty game, he would suppress the urge to kill her and instead he would kiss her, he would offer his pardon and take her back with him, in her new home. Her new home would be a basement without windows, without light. He would rip her clothes and put some chains on her. She would only allowed to be on all four like the bitch she was, she would have to eat without using her hands. She would loved to bathe and to be clean, would have to shit and piss in one of the corners. He would fuck her from behind, no more kisses and caresses for the whore, took her hard only for his satisfaction. He would knock her up, not the one child she had wanted before finish her career, no she would whelp each year, without any help, like an animal, and he wouldn't miss a birth, he would be there to see her suffer. He didn't have any idea what to do with the bastards, but he would make her believe he would kill them. The stunning butterfly would become an ugly, sagging, deformed creature. Her skin wouldn't drink the sun, her eyes wouldn't blaze anymore. She would finally stop haunting him. How long could she last? She would lose her mind, but just before, he would wrap his hands around her pale throat and it would end. And he would have paid his debt She dreamed of him, every night. Sometimes she dreamed that he stopped the men that had raped her, he would wrap her in his cloak and take her far away. In the free cities, she would be his wife, have his little beautiful blond curled children, and he would love and respect her. One day they would go back and he would be the Lord of the Rock... She hated this dreams, because they couldn't become reality, in her bed she cried remembering that they did rape her and that she had lost their daughter. Her favourite dreams were the one when he would find her. He would beg of forgiveness, he would swear he didn't give the order, that he'd killed her tormentor and that he still wanted her. He would kiss her and she would be warm again, he would love her and she would be clean again. He would be there for her, he would protect her. She would tell him about their Joy, their perfect little girl, and she would live with her daughter at Lannisport. Maybe they would even have another child, but she wouldn't insist about it, she would respect his wife and be happy with the time he could spend with her. She didn't crave power anymore, she just wanted to be near him, to be loved by him. Because he was her dream, he was what she has wanted to be. He was her knight and she wanted to lean on him, how she had loathed the foolish dreams of the girls, but now she ached to be his. He would come, he loves her, her mind had been wrong, she hadn't listened to her heart. Her heart was sure. He loved her. Sometimes she was afraid, after the men that had tainted her, would he still want to touch her? She couldn't admit to herself that she was scared of his touch, would she feel the brutal hands of her tormentor on her? That night she had a beautiful long dream, Jaime was her husband and they had three golden haired children… She wept in her sleep, like every night since her rape, but those were tears of joy. He would come for her, a Lannister always pays his debts.










