Delusaedisillusa

My fanfic, nothing more...

[delusaedisillusa]

The lion's mistress - last chapter

"The whore has to go. Jaime will never see her again." He was his big brother, the saviour of the family and the quintessence of being a Lannister. Cunning, powerful, the one who cared about him, the one who had tried to make another Kevan out of him. Tywin was Kevan's God, Genna's hero, Tygett's rival, the King's hand, Lord Lannister, destroyer of two houses, punisher of poor defenceless women. The great lion of house Lannister. He couldn't look him in the eyes, he had always joked about Tygett and his incapacity not to take everything so seriously. He wished so much that he could just laugh, reject this story with a simple shrug of his shoulders. He desired. But he wasn't able to. "I'll take her away" He turned the back to his brother, he would take the poor girl away. Away from the dangerous beast that he called brother. The girl refused to take any milk of the poppy. The maester tended her wounds, two servant girls took care of her. He didn't post any guards since his brother didn't want to punish her any further. She was safe. He laughed bitterly. "Cersei, we have to talk" She was sitting on her windowsill, pale with swollen purplish neck "I... tried to... stop them" The words came painfully slow, the worst thing were her begging and fearful eyes. 'Believe me please' this was he could read. She didn't need to feel sorry, it wasn't her fault. He was the one who destroyed her. "Cers...Sweetling, I know. I don't blame you, but you see, this changes everything…" "Jaime…" She rasped, he hastened by her side and noticed how she winced from his touch. "Sweetling you can't be Jaime's mistress anymore." "But, but…" "Sweet girl, Jaime will marry Lysa Tully and Lord Tully will not tolerate you… Ever." He paused observing the girl. "You see this marriage is very important, it's a pity you both are so young, he just can't keep a mistress before marrying. He crowned you his Queen of love and beauty before half of Westeros! Lord's Tully pride will not accept this…" He knew he had to add a further injury "...Jaime will not accept what happened to you either…" She had been a strong and proud little thing, but after what she had gone through he wasn't surprised she started to wail. Raw and heart wrenching. He had dreaded this. She tried to speak but he couldn't understand the words. "I'm with child" She sobbed full of phlegm and pain." .Jaiiimeeee" Fools, golden fools. Jaime, the girl and worst of all himself. She would alternately cry and speak. With him only. Tywin was on his way to Kingslanding and Gerion was glad. Jaime's stay was prolonged to his nephew's dismay and his own relief. Tywin would take care that Jaime would be away from the Westerlands for a year or more. He knew how much his nephew hated to write, and he felt awful reading Jaime's letter to him and for Cersei. His love for her, his wish to make a babe as soon as possible. 'Please uncle Gerion take care of her.' One could say he was taking care of her. Still he felt the lowest as he made her believe that due her spoiled status Jaime wouldn't have wanted her anymore. That the men were surely sent by Lord Tully. That she needed to go far away, to have her child. As he saw how desperate she was he knew he had to give her some hope thus he lied again. He lied about pleading her cause and maybe after some time when Jaime would pardon her and Lord Tully would forget her, he would take her back to Jaime... Awful lies. She couldn't stay in Westeros if Jaime shouldn't find her. He had wished to tour the Free Cities as long as he could remember, but this journey would forever leave a bad taste in his mouth. He spoke with Lena about his journey and to his surprise she was adamant to come with him. Trying to reason with her wasn't possible. She didn't wish to marry and this was the reason they had started their tryst. "No one will marry a barren and spoiled daughter, no matter how rich my dowry would be." She had stated. Intelligent and funny, Lena. "If I travel with you my father will not be able to sell me to that awful fat merchant with seven children. Spoil my reputation more" A female presence would have been good for the girl, he told her as much about Cersei's life without divulging Tywin's role in her misfortune. Lena's eyes shined strangely as he told her about Cersei's pregnancy. Gerion Lannister, his mistress, the mistress of his nephew and his crew sailed on the "Laughing Lion". No one felt like laughing. She was miserable, she looked so young and lost, despite the pain she must still have felt she didn't lament. During the night she forgot her stoic behaviour. She cried and called for Jaime. He didn't know if it was the pregnancy or the motion sickness, but she vomited all day. He almost hoped she would lose the babe, so she could start a new life, but Lena told him the child would give Cersei the strength to survive. Unfortunately Cersei didn't open herself to Lena, when she wasn't puking, she watched the sea, when she spoke she could only talk about Jaime and the son she was carrying. "She hopes Jaime will take her back if she'll have his son" Lena suffered with the girl, but sadly they remained strangers to each other. Lena wasn't a noble, but her family was rich, Cersei the bastard daughter of a whore and an unknown father… no, the two ladies didn't have much in common. The ship ride wasn't the happy laughing matter he had dreamt about. It was uncomfortable and painful and he was happy as a they reached Lys. In Lys he rented a small sunny house. A house Cersei didn't leave for the whole duration of her awful pregnancy. The birth was something he wished he would forget someday. Her not ending screams and suddenly the silence. Lena came out radiant, smiling through tears a wailing bundle in her arms. "Did she die?" "No, look at this little jewel, she is perfect, isn't it?" "I mean Cersei…" He looked at the little bastard. Jaime's first born daughter. A squealing pink thing. So little, so precious. He didn't fight as Lena put her in his arms. "Hello, little cub. You are the pinkest thing I've ever seen. What's the name of this sweet darling?" He asked Lena. "Cersei wanted to name her Jaime, but I think she believes she is a boy. The maester gave her a generous amount of milk of the poppy. Oh you are the cutest little girl, Gerion she looks like you!" "She is a Lannister she can only be beautiful...how is Cersei?" "She is sleeping!" Did he hear some contempt? "Now this little lady and I will go to the wet nurse. You are hungry aren't you, my little cub?" Cersei was still weary as he spoke with her. "Cersei, you did wonderful. Your daughter is beautiful" "Daughter?" She chewed the word confused. "Yes, she is healthy and...pink and without a name." "Jaime, my son Jaime" she fought to keep her eyes open. "It's a girl. You have a daughter." "Jaime. Jaime." "How long does she have to take the milk of the poppy?" A week passed and Cersei was still abed, still drugged. He was afraid, childbirth scared him, his mother passed away soon after his birth, he didn't want for the girl to die. With Cersei dead everything would be easier, but she suffered enough, she didn't need to die to simplify the life of the Lannisters. Lena was holding the babe in her arms, already a familiar sight for him and everyone else in the house. Lena was always with the babe. She slept in the room with the wet nurse and the babe. "Gerion, she is hurt, the maester gave her something to stop the milk flow and this makes her sleepy." "Wouldn't it help if she nursed the little one?" The babe was becoming more beautiful everyday. He marvelled, the little thing survived the rape, the journey and she came out pure and clean, little pouty mouth, golden hair and green eyes. A little Jaime as a girl. "Do you think she is fit to be a mother? Gerion, she is a child herself, she can't be trusted with such a task." "Lena, we will not stay here forever. Cersei needs to be trusted with this task, she is the mother. I'll leave money enough for a tutor for… the child needs a name!" "The child needs a name and a family" She was firm and she looked in a way he didn't want to understand. They had taken her baby away. It had been awful, Lena and the midwives had bossed around. Push, breath. Blood and shit and pain. So much pain. And then the babe came out. All this pain for a daughter, a daughter she never saw. Ser Gerion asked her to name the child, Jaime should have named his daughter. Ser Gerion could name her. A bastard she may be, but still a Lannister. Gerion named her Joy. Not Joanna for the daughter of a whore. A servant brought her in the late morning. The babe screamed and Cersei was glad as Lena took her away, this way she could sleep. She didn't want to think. Cersei feared not to be as beautiful as she had been anymore. Lysa Tully with her auburn hair, big blue eyes and her tight virgin cunt infested her dreams. Jaime had loved her breasts, he hadn't been able to keep his hands or mouth away for too long, her breasts would have sagged if she had nursed Joy. Her own mother hadn't nursed her and she had grown just fine. The wet nurse with the enormous teats had surely more milk and Lena had approved her decision. The bitter potion that the maester gave her made her so sleepy, she hadn't any force to hold her little girl, not like her daughter seemed to mind. Joy was always crying, the few times the nanny and Lena allowed her to hold her. She preferred Lena and Gerion. She didn't know what her feelings towards her daughter were. If only she would have been pregnant sooner, Jaime would have never had done this to her. She loved how delicate and beautiful she looked, just like Jaime. After the birth she had cried her breasts full with milk, her body not understanding that it was over. She was just Cersei, not the maid slut, not the lion's mistress, not the used whore of Lannisport. Now that she wasn't with Jaime's child in her womb, she felt how empty she was. She would never feel whole without him. She had wanted to be the mother of Jaime's child, but his daughter rejected her like her father before. She exploded one night as she had wanted to hold her, one of the servants had brought her a cup warm wine with egg and sugar, this helped her to sleep. Joy had been sleeping peacefully, Cersei had been almost afraid to bother her, but she was her mother! A mother should have been able to kiss her baby. Joy had opened her eyes and after recognising her, started to cry. The late hour, the wine, the memories of all the pain she had endured...Cersei felt hate towards the loved and pampered babe. Her voice dripped with venom "I forgot Lannisters don't like whores! But you aren't a Lannister. You aren't better than me. Your grandma was a whore, your mother is a whore. Your father will never recognise you, like mine didn't. Why are you always crying? Why don't you like me, you little bastard? You are like me, no one wants you. You will become a whore like me. You are no better." She was yelling, shaking the babe, Joy was crying at the top of her lungs. She never heard the nanny and Lena shouting, suddenly Joy was gone, and someone was hugging her. "You didn't want me to nurse my baby because I'm a dirty whore." She wasn't sobbing anymore. Lena had been outraged and would have liked to yell at her, but he ushered her out the room. "No, it's just, you are a child yourself, just a little girl…" "She hates me, I'm her mother and she doesn't want me, Jaime doesn't want me, no one wants me…" Maybe Lena was right. "I know what she had to suffer, but I know that Joy deserves more than the girl could give her. It isn't her fault, but she was raised to be a whore, what she had to endure was awful, but it doesn't change the fact, she will not be a good mother. Joy is a Lannister, don't you want her to be happy and safe? No one would touch a Lannister, but the daughter of a whore is free, wild. She is adorable! She could be my daughter, our child. Think about this." He explained her Lena's plan. They would raise Joy as his and Lena's daughter. She would get enough coins to live comfortably, the house, a few servants, a tutor to teach her to write and read. She nodded. He'd believed it would be a good idea to take her outside for a walk. They would travel back in a fortnight, Lena was happy and couldn't wait to come back with 'their' daughter. They had strolled at the port, Cersei was slender and even more beautiful and womanly than before, in Lys her beauty surpassed those of the women around her and many men looked after the girl. She was stiffer than before after they walked by a brothel. Looking at him strangely. In the night she visited him. "I'm not a Lannister but I pay my debts too." She whispered stripping her nightgown. "Cersei, sweet girl you don't need…" "Don't you like me?" What a question. She looked like the Maid in flesh, and Gerion's body couldn't help but responded to her beauty. He hadn't slept with Lena in months and… "You don't want this" He stated, her hands were trembling. He wouldn't sleep with an unwilling woman. "But I have to, and you will not hurt me" Her voice was flat and unsure "You have to? Well you are young and if you want to take a lover…" "I'm not supposed to sell myself?" "Why would you? I told you, you can live here…" "And you showed me the brothel where I can work." She was still naked and trembling. "Please put your robe on. You don't have to be a whore anymore. I'm rich, my family is rich, my brother was...generous" He hated calling the man who hurt her generous. "Your bills will be paid. If you want to sleep with someone it will be because you want to." "I want Jaime…" She threw herself in his arms, he hugged her back. In his mind damning his body, his brother and men generally. They took Joy away from Cersei. The route to Lannisport was an easier one, Lena sang and played with 'their' daughter. Back at home they decided to live together at Casterly Rock, his family accepted Joy. Jaime came back. He had to lie again. It wasn't a lie, it wasn't a lie, it wasn't a lie "Jaime, she was a whore. Whores lie. She was scared you'll like your bride more than her and since she wasn't pregnant she fucked some other guys. This way she could have greeted you with a pregnant belly and you'll have recognised her bastard as your own." "Don't be disappointed, whores are like...rats, they try everything to survive. As she saw her plan was ruined she packed her things. It's for the best, she'll be back at King's Landing, with people she knew." Jaime believed him. Every world he had spoken. Why not? He trusted him, he was his uncle but more like an older brother to him, he bought him his first pony, his first woman. Images of her hunted him. Her body beaten and bruised. Her screams as she birthed Joy. That night as she tried to seduce him. The brave girl, the crying girl, the shaking girl. He would be a father to her little girl, but it would never be enough. In this moment he saw how the innocence left in his nephew's eyes died The same way it died in Cersei's. They still were beautiful and golden, but something in them was lost He believed him, of course he did and left him with a nod. He couldn't bear to be near Jaime, couldn't bear to taint the poor girl no more. A quest. This is what he needed. Doing something heroic or dying while trying. Lena would care for Joy and with a mission to fulfil he would maybe be able to forgive her, himself and the whole mess. "I'm going to find our ancestral sword" He dreamed of her every night She fucked some men, men without a face, but sometimes even friends of his. Soldiers, bakers... it seems to him that every man he spoke with, would visit him in his dreams. She moaned, screamed wild and beautiful. An obscene bacchant shamelessly offering her body to all the cocks around her. A whore in body and soul. He saw her everywhere even in his children's faces, in uncle Gerion's little bastard...everywhere. It didn't help that she was as blond and green eyed as his family. He could have choked on his hate. In bed with his wife he had to control himself, Lysa wasn't Cersei. He wouldn't hurt her. He bedded his wife every second day, but he hadn't slept in her room, not even one night. After he spent himself inside her, he would thank her and would go to his chamber, with a hunger that the couplings with his wife couldn't assuage. She had replaced all his blood with poison and it burned him from within. He would find her. She would look at him with the smile he had thought was her genuine smile, the innocent smile of a young girl, she would lie to him, maybe she would cry and throw herself in his arms. She would kiss him, lure him with that lush rotten treacherous body of her. He would play her dirty game, he would suppress the urge to kill her and instead he would kiss her, he would offer his pardon and take her back with him, in her new home. Her new home would be a basement without windows, without light. He would rip her clothes and put some chains on her. She would only allowed to be on all four like the bitch she was, she would have to eat without using her hands. She would loved to bathe and to be clean, would have to shit and piss in one of the corners. He would fuck her from behind, no more kisses and caresses for the whore, took her hard only for his satisfaction. He would knock her up, not the one child she had wanted before finish her career, no she would whelp each year, without any help, like an animal, and he wouldn't miss a birth, he would be there to see her suffer. He didn't have any idea what to do with the bastards, but he would make her believe he would kill them. The stunning butterfly would become an ugly, sagging, deformed creature. Her skin wouldn't drink the sun, her eyes wouldn't blaze anymore. She would finally stop haunting him. How long could she last? She would lose her mind, but just before, he would wrap his hands around her pale throat and it would end. And he would have paid his debt She dreamed of him, every night. Sometimes she dreamed that he stopped the men that had raped her, he would wrap her in his cloak and take her far away. In the free cities, she would be his wife, have his little beautiful blond curled children, and he would love and respect her. One day they would go back and he would be the Lord of the Rock... She hated this dreams, because they couldn't become reality, in her bed she cried remembering that they did rape her and that she had lost their daughter. Her favourite dreams were the one when he would find her. He would beg of forgiveness, he would swear he didn't give the order, that he'd killed her tormentor and that he still wanted her. He would kiss her and she would be warm again, he would love her and she would be clean again. He would be there for her, he would protect her. She would tell him about their Joy, their perfect little girl, and she would live with her daughter at Lannisport. Maybe they would even have another child, but she wouldn't insist about it, she would respect his wife and be happy with the time he could spend with her. She didn't crave power anymore, she just wanted to be near him, to be loved by him. Because he was her dream, he was what she has wanted to be. He was her knight and she wanted to lean on him, how she had loathed the foolish dreams of the girls, but now she ached to be his. He would come, he loves her, her mind had been wrong, she hadn't listened to her heart. Her heart was sure. He loved her. Sometimes she was afraid, after the men that had tainted her, would he still want to touch her? She couldn't admit to herself that she was scared of his touch, would she feel the brutal hands of her tormentor on her? That night she had a beautiful long dream, Jaime was her husband and they had three golden haired children… She wept in her sleep, like every night since her rape, but those were tears of joy. He would come for her, a Lannister always pays his debts.

[delusaedisillusa]

Random Hearts l

Once upon a time there was a girl named Tyra.

Tyra had no siblings, but a cousin of the same age Joanna. Both girls looked like two peas in a pod and were as close as sisters.

The two girls with golden hair and large emerald green eyes belonged to a noble and proud family.

A family that had always been very important and although the current heir seemed to do everything to make them fall into oblivion, the Lannisters were too rich to be forgotten.

They were born in Lannisport and their parents did not have the power or money of the Lions from the Rock, the ancestral home of the Lannister, nevertheless Tyra and Joanna were proud to be part of their family. They saw themselves as lionesses and had sworn that the world would hear their roar.

Joanna was more successful there, having grown up with important people and high-ranking folks, courted by Aerys Targaryen prince of high society, the beautiful lioness had married Tywin Lannister, the heir of Casterly Rock.

Young, cunning and fearless. The man that with just twenty-one years held important positions in the family's business.

Tyra was sure, if Tywin had been born a few centuries earlier, they would have dedicated verses and poems for his deeds.

Joanna had married the "Lion King", lived a fairytale life, respected, adored, courted.

The absolute love of her husband was source of envy for many ladies of Westero's high society, who wouldn't receive such affection from their husbands.

Tyra had much less luck of her cousin.

No, she had not gone to school with such of Rhaella Targaryen or Ilaria Martell, neither had a "grand seigneur" courted her.

Tyra had only the appearance of the once loved, but now only envied, cousin.

Everyone said that she lacked the fire of Joanna.

"What I miss are the friends in high places!" Tyra thought bitterly as she served tea to her mother's annoying friends, and would have gladly drank something stronger.

Everyone knew that Joanna and herself, had loved each other like sisters, everyone seemed to know of their dreams, all compared her to the fortunate cousin!

So she married, scarcely a month after Joanna and only a few weeks after their first date, a Martin Payne, a distant relative of the Payne who acted as handyman for Tywin, a man who had the advantage of not having met her cousin, who called her the most beautiful woman ever seen, a man who wanted to be important.

"Honey, I don't want to stay for my entire life in the shadow of Tywin Lannister! Ilyn, the bloody fool, thinks your cousin Tywin would be a God" The two were naked, Martyn caressed her, enchanted by her beauty.

Although not rich, Tyra was a Lannister, even the copy of the wife of the "Lion", he was sure that the Lannisters would open their coffers and give them a nice dowry.

Tyra also seemed docile, but was a real lioness in bed, he was sure she would be his fortune.

"Tyra are you sure you want to marry?" The concerned Joanna had asked, "You have known him for so little!"

The bride had just returned from their honeymoon, a short one since Tywin could not be absent too long.

Tyra had hated her, the makeup of her cousin was impeccable. The dress she wore simple but refined. No one would ever confuse the elegant woman with her.

"Joanna, you believe you are the only one worthy to get married, right?" She asked, pouring a glass of wine "Want some?"

"Tyra it is just ten!"

"Too early to get up, for a bride, don't you think?"

"Tyra do you know what you're doing? Tywin said that Martyn's draft is doomed to fail. Also he wants to go so far away! Tywin …"

"Joanna, " Snapped Tyra "Would you please stop naming your husband every ten-seconds? I want to go away, I want something of my own and Martyn will help me!"

"Tyra, do you love him?"

"I think so."

"Good luck, lioness."

"You too, lioness."

They embraced, they would not meet again for almost ten years.

Irony of fate both women who were often mistaken for twins, had both given birth to twins.

Tyra had given birth first, followed two months later by Joanna.

Joanna had given birth to a beautiful boy and a girl, she named them Jaime and Ceres.

The twins were perfect blondes creatures. Jaime had inherited both the golden curls and the emerald green eyes from his mother, while little Ceres's eyes were pale green flecked with gold like the eyes of her father, her hair pale blond.

The little family seemed to be out of a book. So much beauty and perfection, could not be true.

Tyra at the other hand...the pregnancy had stolen all energy, she felt lonely, ugly, fat. As the twins had finally decided to come out she found herself with a beautiful little girl with golden curls and a dwarf. Cersei Lannister was a pure Lannister, blonde, fair skinned, with the same green eyes of her mother. The child whom she named Tyrion was an ugly dwarf with a mixture of blond and black hair, with a black eye and a green one. Tyra had screamed in horror as soon as the nurse had tried to put him in her arms.

"A dwarf and a girl" proclaimed Martyn disappointed and half drunk after the doctors had explained that Tyra could no longer have children. He had had already vision of him working with his sons. The euphoria of marriage had lasted little. Martyn was a stuffed shirt, his famous nose for business, a joke.

He had invested in a chain of fast food stores at low cost, and business had gone fairly well, until he decided to expand. Too much and too quickly.

Tyrion and Cersei were not even four when Martyn escaped from the debts, creditors, a wife who hated him and the children whom he had not accepted.

Tyra was twenty-three, she behaved like a teenager and someday she felt like she was hundred years old .

Cersei was wilful and stubborn, Tyrion intelligent and affectionate.

He was the one who calmed his sister, already taller than him, he explained her the rules of the games, when Cersei wanted to hurl the games away.

"Perhaps it would have been better if Cersei had been the dwarf, my sweet Tyrion did not deserve this." Decided Tyra.

Twenty-three years a fugitive husband, two little kids who had caused her to be barren, and an avalanche of debt… but Tyra was positive to make it alone.

"Listen to me little doll, we women have our weapons," She said as the little girl tried stubbornly to put together the pieces of a puzzle. The pieces did not fit together, but the child wouldn't give up. Tyrion had managed to complete the same puzzle in scarcely an hour.

"Rifle?" She asked with her green eyes wide open. Tyra laughed, drinking her gin and tonic "No my dear, between your legs." Cersei looked confused.

'The girl is a little stupid' she thought .

Tyra did not know that Cersei was a normal, even smart girl and that Tyrion was a little genius. Maybe if the children had attended a nursery, or other children, Tyra would have noticed, but she had no money to make them go to kindergarten and although she loved Tyrion, she was ashamed of his deformity.

"Cersei luckily you're beautiful and you will not need to use your brain." She explained stroking her tousled curls.

"I'm going out with Uncle Gary, if you are hungry there are chips and cookies. Do not eat in bed!" She hugged and kissed Tyrion, drank the last drop of her drink, and went out, leaving the children alone.

The children were habituated to be left alone at home, Tyra used her 'weapons' often and with permanently changing partners.

Tyrion and Cersei were very isolated and grew accustomed to rely on each other.

Cersei protected her little brother from bullies, Tyrion protected Cersei from their own mother and from other adults.

Tyra, she hadn't wanted to be called mom, had spoken of their family, they were Lannister and not stupid Payne, when Martyn had left, she took her name back and changed that of her children.

Tyrion and Cersei were lions, as good as the cubs living at Casterly Rock.

The children felt more like stray cats than lions. They that wore the old clothes of other people, they did not know any food who wasn't canned or frozen, their backpacks and school stuff were cheap and ugly, not what they had wanted.

They did not have a room, they shared the sofa bed in the living room.

This wasn't a bad thing, they had always shared a bed, it was the only way they could sleep peacefully.

Casterly Rock was, to them, a fairytale place. If only they could reach that place, everything would be better.

They were nine when they met Joanna Lannister and their lives changed.

Tyrion would later tell that it all started with the lice infestation.

At this point their life with Tyra reached the point of no return.

Tyra drank too much, she 'fell in love' too easily and could not keep a job.

The twins were used to being treated like beggars.

The humiliation followed them step by step.

The apartments were increasingly poor and small, the clothes of the twins often used, the 'boyfriends' increasingly shady.

Men who were loud, who raised their hands against Tyra ... and touched little girls.

One Thursday afternoon Cersei and Tyrion had returned home with the news that the class of the girl was infested with lice.

Tyra had scolded the girl.

Cersei would have liked to scream in her face that it was not her fault that in the degraded school they attended, lice were not unusual, like the visits of social services.

"We have to cut them" decided Tyra with a mean grin.

The little girl looked appalled at her mother, as if she did not recognize her.

"No, I beg you Mom, no!" The small body of Cersei was shaking.

She was so afraid to forget that Tyra did not want to be called mom.

Cersei had never received nothing but compliments for her golden hair.

The last boyfriend's of Tyra loved to brush and pet them, which at the beginning had made her mother happy. 'He treats her as he would his own!' She had thought. But after a while she began to hate his exchange of affection.

They had split the month before.

The twins were sleeping, as Tyra started to scream.

"You fuck me and you whisper her name? Depraved! Pervert! Crappy pedophile!" She threw him out of the apartment and then she started to drink.

The next day at Cersei's timid question if "uncle" Jay would return, Tyra had slapped the girl shouting that she was a nasty little bitch in heat.

Tyrion had flung himself between them to subtract his twin from the fury of their mother, but Tyra had managed to hurt his twin.

At that moment he felt more powerless than ever, he wanted to raise his sister and lay on the couch, but he could only support her with difficulty; Cersei was bigger than him.

He had brought a cloth and ice and gently, he had seen his mother do so many times, had dabbed her cheekbones that were already tinged with blue.

"Tyrion, why did she beat me? " She asked through tears, "Why did she called me bitch in heat?"

The look he threw his sister was full of compassion. "Being beautiful must be hard." He muttered sadly.

What a strange creature her brother was, thought the little girl; the body of a child, the words of an adult, the wisdom of an old man.

"I'll go get a cola, ok?"

"Thank you, brother!"

Tyrion smiled, but his smile was sad, so sad that Cersei began to cry again.

Uncle Jay had promised to take them to the zoo! Cersei wanted so much to see the lions.

In the evening Tyra had apologized, she hugged her and called them her golden babies and had vowed that they would go to see the lions.

She ordered Cersei's favorite pizza.

"Hey! This pizza is as big as me!" Exclaimed Tyrion making them laugh.

That evening they had seen a movie in Tyra's bed. They had their first taste of wine.

"Crap!" The twins shouted in perfect sync, while Tyra laughed to tears.

It had been nice, even though it hurt Cersei's face when she laughed.

In the following days Tyrion and Cersei stayed at home

'A bad cold' Tyra had told the teacher on the phone.

Mom had showed her how to hide the bruises with the background color. They laughed and laughed, especially when together they had rigged Tyrion.

Unfortunately, the week before the news of the lice, Tyra had found a heart plush that Jay had given her for Valentine...

Since then she had not called Cersei her little golden fairy anymore and she had started to treat her coldly...

"Mom there are shampoos we can buy, or we can use some home remedy like hot vinegar, you do not need to cut them!"

"Some things it is better to kill them in the bud so that do not create problems later" had answered Tyra "Also a little bit of humility will do your sister good." She added, taking a pair of scissors from a kitchen drawer.

She had beaten Cersei who tried to escape and thrown Tyrion, who was trying to defend his sister, against a shelf.

She had cut her long blonde curls of her daughter and threatened to cut off her ear if she wouldn't stop.

"What do you need your ears for, if you never hear anything from anyone?" She shouted in her face.

Terrified, feeling that her mother was serious, Cersei closed her eyes and stopped moving.

When Tyrion had regained consciousness, the clash against the shelves had provided a nice bloody wound to his head, he almost did not recognize the face of the person who was treating his wound with ice, as he had done almost a month before to her.

Cersei's face was deformed with puffy eyes closed to slits, her lower lip split, almost bald.

"Tyrion, I hate to be a stupid powerless girl." Cersei's voice was strangely flat, so different from her usual vibrant energy.

"Cersei. I'll never be big and strong, but I promise you, one day I'll know how to protect you." His was a solemn oath.

The two embraced, as always having the feeling of being so different as to be equal.

They were the opposite one from the other, but at the same time two sides of the same coin.

Tyra was out, no doubt she would drink and would return the next day, or she would have found a man, another "Mr. Right " and she reassured them euphoric that everything would be better than before, that they would return to be true lions!

By now, they almost did not believe her anymore, at least they tried not to, because Tyra had always been pretty damn convincing.

Cersei who could not stop touching her head, went to bed exhausted.

When in the middle of the night the bell rang, the children were not surprised, everything was possible with Tyra Lannister, but it was not her, but the police.

Tyra had caused an accident drunk.

The police had thrown a look at the children and the squalor around them and one of them had murmured "Shit, call the social services."

The twins could be called brave, but words such as: 'social services', 'adoption', 'eviction' and 'orphanage' had the power to make them tremble.

"If it were possible I would call Tywin Lannister." Tyrion asked with his adult like manner.

The two policemen laughed.

"Look at this little man! No doubt you are in good relations with the vortex of power, but it would be easier to talk to the president or the Pope!"

"It can be, but we are not related it with the president, nor with the Pope, but with Tywin Lannister!" He told them calm and composed, before adding. "It would be better to talk with his wife, Joanna Lannister, the cousin of my mother"

"Relatives? I did not know that poor Lannisters existed! "

He laughed good-naturedly, but from the tone of voice Tyrion understood that he would phone anyway, if you were really related with the mighty lion of Lannister Corporation they could not afford to make him unhappy.

"We," Began the boy looking up "are cats of a different coat."

[delusaedisillusa]

Random hearts ll

The phone call was made.

Social services were not activated

No accusation was made against Tyra.

All debts of the little family were paid.

The story of Cersei's hair 'I stuck chewing gum in my hair.'

The bruises? 'Tyrion and I played and we were too wild' was not questioned, even if no one believed it.

Joanna Lannister was fast and efficient, even before taking the flight that would take her to the woman that had been as close as a sister, had hired a good lawyer who had dealt with the matter.

"Joanna, you wouldn't want to take Tyra and her children with you, right?" Asked Tywin to his wife before the flight. Despite his calendar full of appointments he had wanted to accompany his wife to the airport.

He had twisted his lips at the thought, Tyra was a shame for House Lannister, the idea to have her with her brood at home, annoyed him immensely.

He loved his home, a place not only filled with pride and traditions, a place where Joanna and their children would welcome him, he did not want anyone to disturb his oasis.

"We can pass a check monthly and send the children to a great boarding school!"

The look of Joanna was that of a lioness. An angry lioness ready to kill.

"A check and a boarding school? They are Lannister! Relative of both of us! This is really the most you do to help relatives in difficulty?" She looked in the green and golden eyes of her husband, for her his eyes were never cold.

"They are twins, like ours and they didn't have an easy life. God Tywin, Tyra was dying and the children were beaten by someone! Money is not everything, they need stability and love!" She stopped with tears in her eyes. Joanna, was his conscience and compassion.

How much he loved that woman!

"Ok, Mrs. Lannister, do what you find appropriate and come back as soon as possible!" He kissed her, after making sure that no one could see, and smiled. A small brief smile that melted her heart.

"See you soon, love."

For the twins Joanna was like a fairy.

The woman who resembled their mother, but that was as different from her as the day from the night, she took them under her wings and for the first time in a long time the two felt safe.

She managed to get temporary custody in record time.

There was no need to pack "We will purchases a few things now and we will buy the rest later."

Joanna had barely held back the tears when the children had decided to take with them only a few books and two stuffed lions.

Ceres and Jaime still had their stuffed cubs, Tyra and herself got them as children, and surely even Tywin and his brothers had their own.

'Poor little ones.' She thought watching them going hand in hand, they were more united than her own twins.

The clothes the children possessed weren't worthy of Lannister's children, Joanna contacted an exclusive boutique who were happy to open their shop only for them, where they were treated like stars.

Tyrion's clothes were specially adjusted by a seamstress, Cersei got clothes and matching bags and hats and many accessories she had always dreamt to have.

Never in their lives they had so many beautiful things.

Joanna and two salesladies had recommended them, laughed and joked with them. Joanna had also bought some clothes for her cousin. Her heart grew weary when she saw her cousin in the hospital under a massive dose of sedatives.

'Poor little ones.' She thought again watching them sleep, they had dined in a luxurious hotel room, where she could see that the children had good table manner they had handled cutlery casually, at least Tyra taught them good manners, but one could clearly see that they were not accustomed to the food quality served before them.

After that they had gone bathing. 'Cousin Joanna, in here you can almost swim!' They had exclaimed. Then thew put on the new pyjamas, Joanna did the enormous effort not to kiss them and hold them tight in her arms, if she would do that, she would not be able not to weep.

The twins had decided to sleep on one of the beds. Hugged tight.

The lawyer had told her that Cersei had cried shouting that she did not want to be separated from her brother.

"It is my twin!" She had shouted. "It's my sister!" She thought of Jaime and Ceres, her cubs, and started to cry.

She decided that she would protect them.

Tywin surely wouldn't have been happy, but he would have indulged. She could not leave the twins to Tyra, but she could not take the children away from her cousin, she needed her help too.

They would all come to Casterly Rock with her.

Tywin hoped that Tyra would have just accepted the money and would stay in whatever hole she lived in.

Money they had enough of... and also problems without counting that unbalanced drunk and her family.

But as he received the phone call and he had heard the voice full of tears of his wife he knew, his fear would come true.

"Tywin, I cannot leave! Tyra needs me, the children are ... delicious! Tyrion is a little man, a sharp one. God Tywin, he is only nine years old, but knows how to read like an adult …"

"Tyrion would be the deformed one." He interrupted her.

Joanna did not let himself be distracted and spoke further

"Cersei could be Jaime's twin, they are so alike! She is a little girl full of temperament, I'm sure she'll become a beautiful woman."

"Cersei is the bald one, isn't it? Fantastic, a girl full of temperament, we just needed a troublemaker!"

"A troublemaker? Why?"

"Well beautiful women cause problems! Look at me, if someone would have told me that I would be dominated by a woman …"

Joanna laughed and Tywin smiled in spite of himself.

"I love you, Tywin."

"Then come back, my lady! "

"They will throw us out" Cersei wailed, "He doesn't like us. You can see this from a mile away!" Continued the girl "He will not let his children play with the dregs." Cersei did not know that the man who seemed to breath power, was not able to deny his wife anything.

Tywin adored his wife, she was the only woman he gave such power over him.

Money, power, beauty.

Cersei had never felt more insignificant in her life.

Never had Cersei seen such perfection.

Once Joanna and Tyra could have been mistaken for twins, but those days were gone.

The first time she had seen cousin Joanna not a detail escaped in the eyes of Cersei; from her hair collected in a perfectly soft chignon, her face slightly but masterfully painted. The Chanel cream colored suit with a purple silk blouse with matching handbag and shoes .

She recognized the brand of the bag, those bags that Tyra could look at for hours in a showcase of one of those shops where the salesladies stared at you like you're a beggar.

Tywin was impeccable, so different from the men who courted Tyra.

Men who brawl, got drunk and touched nine years old girl, the way they shouldn't.

Ceres was a beautiful little girl with her father's eyes and blond hair so light to be almost white.

Ceres seemed gentle and graceful, clad in checkered red and gold, she wore small earrings and a necklace with a pendant in the shape of a lion. Immediately Cersei decided that the little girl was insipid and if she still had her long hair, she would have been much more beautiful than her.

She was grateful to wear the clothes bought by Joanna, with her faded jeans and cheap T-shirts she would have died from embarrassment.

Without her hair she felt ugly and a tomboy.

Then Jaime came down the stairs it was like looking in a mirror.

They looked like two drops of water, had the same eyes, the same features, the same stature.

They were incredibly similar.

Strangely looking Jaime she had felt reassured, she was his image, then she could not be that bad.

"My name is Jaime and what is yours?"

If I were a boy I would have been him. The thought flashed like lightning.

"I'm Cersei." I'm beautiful, I am strong, I'm worthy as him.

Ceres was shy and sweet. While Jaime was bold and always on the move.

"What have you done to your hair?" He asked.

"Chewing gum." Answered Tyrion saving his sister of yet another humiliation.

"Bad thing." Asserted Jaime "And you are the dwarf?"

"You're sharp! Usually people do not realize it." Teased Tyrion.

"Really?" Asked Ceres shy, but Jaime interrupted, laughing.

"Dear sister, Tyrion is making me notice that I made a silly question!" He laughed looking at the much smaller guy "Mom said you're some kind of genius, but you don't seem that bad."

Tyrion knew he had offended the little prince, but he did not seem to be offended

"You seem kind of ok too." He replied sincerely.

The two shook hands and smiled. They were different almost the opposites, but they shared an immediate sympathy.

Cersei did not seem to have anything in common with Ceres. The child was so good and kind enough to irritate her, she smiled at everyone and everything, she loved everyone and was worshiped by all.

Cersei did not understand that Ceres gave affection and received it back.

For Cersei, Ceres was naive and childish knew nothing of life, she did not know a thing about anything, in her definitely empty head, there were only dolls and stuffed animals.

Ceres played with Lysa Tully, sometimes they played with Lysa's older sister Catelyn. Cersei always had the impression that the two girls do not deem her worthy, and the first time Lysa saw Tyrion, Lysa-stupid-cow-Tully, was crying out as if she had seen a zombie.

Cersei played much more willingly with Jaime and Tyrion, but Tyrion had his special lessons for children prodigies, so that at the beginning of the school year he would be able to climb over two or three years ahead of her .

'The boffin's club' was renamed by Jaime.

Cersei missed her brother, but to have the undivided attention of Jaime, who appeared to prefer her in his games to his sister, flattered Cersei.

They looked so much alike that Cersei dressed in his clothes could very well play the part of the boy.

Jaime had in fact cut his locks to look like her more.

Joanna was saddened, Tywin had crooked his mouth and Tyrion had exclaimed "We will hope that it doesn't come to his mind to cut his cock, to look more like you." Jaime had laughed tears and assured he wouldn't go this far.

Tyra had looked at her as if for the first time and had said, "You have him in the palm of your hand! You have a handy talent"

Tyra had been in a clinic to detoxify for nearly three months.

She defeated her addiction and while she hugged and kissed the children, she had thanked Joanna. She had told her story and pledged to be a changed mother.

The children had already heard many times those oaths, but Joanna was moved, she embraced her cousin and said the words that shocked her husband, "You should remain as long as you want. Casterly Rock is way too big."

Joanna had found her cousin a job as a saleswoman in a luxurious boutique.

They often shopped together and Joanna was always generous with her cousin.

With her hair perfectly groomed and cut, elegant clothes and first quality make up, the two cousins returned to resemble like sisters, finding this funny as the time they had been girls.

When Tyra was not with Joanna, at home with the children, she spoke ill of her lucky cousin.

Tyra was still cold with her daughter, even if she disguised it well enough in front of the others.

The only thing that really did disturb the children was Tyra's fixation for Tywin Lannister.

Although the children did not know other couples, even they had realized that the heart of scary Tywin Lannister beat only thanks to his wife.

"You had to see how he looked at me!" Tyra announced triumphantly, she wore a dress of Joanna and had managed briefly to confuse her cousin's husband.

"He would have looked the same way, if a monkey had worn the clothes of his wife." This earned the girl a slap and she was sent to bed without dinner.

"You do not know anything, stupid. You do not understand anything and you are not good for anything! And you think you're waving your ass to seduce the heir to the throne. You're even more stupid than I thought. You, my dear, you are not a real Lannister. You're a stupid bitch of the second class. Tyrion may be a dwarf, but he is a genius. You're a good for nothing"

Maybe she would have insulted her more if she learnt that Jaime came to see her every night to talk to her and share her booty candy

"Jaime, do you like me?" She asked him out of the blue.

"Why do you ask?"

She shrugged as if to say, 'why not?', and smiled her fingers playing with a ribbon of her nightgown, a nightgown she had worn in place of the usual pyjamas, finally she took away the game console from his hands.

Jaime said nothing and laid down next to her. Cersei knew she was not as good as him, but she played nonetheless, she played uninspired dying fast enough.

"I'm sorry Jaime, I'm dead" she stared into his eyes, pouting

"Never mind, it's only a game." He assured her, a few days earlier, he had quarrelled with Addam Marbrand for ruining his record.

Cersei had to suppress a smile. Good for nothing? Tyra would never be able to get Tywin's love, while Jaime ...

"Jaime, have you ever kissed someone?"

[delusaedisillusa]

And I hate to tell you this, but your stories/writing makes absolutely no sense.' This is a private messaging from an author who got a negative review from me. I wrote 29 fictions, I don't believe she read all of them, but childish people who can't stand criticism often react this way. The story is about a beautiful and rich OC with the typical westero's name: Ezralaya, a badass sassy character who calls Jaime simply 'Kingslayer' because she is courageous and different. Cersei is a bitch. Jaime's love from her is wavering and uncle Kevan is like 'boy tell me when you want to leave the Kingsguard' because honor?loyalty?love? A shallow story.

[delusaedisillusa]

A child is born

Her hair were damp and darker due the sweat. Her sweet voice hoarse due her continuing screaming, she was red with strain. Even so she was beautiful. He had the feeling the whole kingdom was in the room, but only one other man was there. A man, people, who shouldn't be allowed to see her in this state, he swallowed his malcontent, his twin needed him. Childbirth was a maddening dirty business. He could have renounced to experience it, but never would he had left her. The prince,for what she had been sure it would be a boy, took his time and Cersei's strength. Nervous, tired and worried he started to resent the child. The child. Never his child. Cersei had been adamant, as soon as she had suspected to be pregnant shortly after Greenshit, she had started to fret and listened the ‘Do and Don'ts’ as the prince’s uncle. Reminding that an error could cost their heads. His mind was clothed with fatigue, but he could remember the absolute first three: don't hold him. Don't moon over him. Don't show any undue affection. Grand maestar Pycelle, looked worried and he could sense the women in the room were too. He had been so concentrated on Cersei he had missed it. He couldn't feel his hand anymore she had wrung his sword hand till he thought he hadn't a hand at all. Finally after a push and a shuddering cry the babe came out of his sister's cunt. “The first and the last” he hoped. He had helped her quite enthusiastically in making a heir, but never again would he let Cersei suffer like this. “A boy” Pycelle announced as the bloody thing started to wail like a cat. Jaime's attention wasn't focused on the babe neither on the hags squealing and laughing, his eyes were on his worn out sister. “My little cub” she smiled, pale with brilliant eyes. Those were her last words. His grandmother had died after giving birth, his mother died while giving birth, that Cersei could have shared this destiny, his fierce and strong sister, no he couldn't have believe this. Robert named the golden haired pink thing, a thing never worthy of his mother's life, Steffon. Lysa Arryn the woman who would have been his wife, played mother for a child he had fathered. Life was strange. The king played with the thing. The big muscled black haired man holding the beautiful golden babe was an image that touched the heart of many women. Robert was, after losing Lyanna Stark and his wife, a tragic figure. The fact that he fucked the thing’s nurse barely a fortnight after Cersei's death and that he brought his bastard daughter at court, didn't cause any affront. He knew Cersei would have raged, he knew she wouldn't have wanted to Robert, Jon and Lysa Arryn to raise her child, but he wasn't able to even look at him. His father wasn't glad about this arrangement. “As the prince’s uncle you have to be more involved in his life!” His requests remained unheard. His life was a nightmare, a nightmare he helped to produce. Sometimes he could feel her, her demanding touch, never gentle. Her searing kisses, the way she would fight for dominance. Her poisonous remarks. Her blazing eyes. The innocent times when she was his twin and shadow, the times when she became the only woman he had wanted. Their first time in the Eel Alley, the fortnight he spent with her at Casterly Rock, before Robert, before the throne, before he had to share her. The time as she came to him, after her wedding, the relief as she told him that she would ever only love him. Greenstone, as he planted her death in her. He just needed to going away inside, and there she was. Jaime Lannister died heroically during the Greyjoy rebellion. As he died the smile on his face wasn't his usual cutting one, but one of joy and gratefulness. Like the last one of his sister. Robert Baratheon had countless mistresses, but never married again, when in his cups he would call his lovers Lyanna and sometimes Cersei. Steffon Baratheon was raised by the Arryns, whom he loved like true parents, later he would marry their daughter Aemma. Jaime would be remembered as the man who killed a king and died for another. Cersei as the frail beauty who brought gold in the Baratheon's dynasty.

[delusaedisillusa]

Fairytale gone bad

Once upon a time there were a blond green eyed boy and a blonde green eyed girl, so similar that everyone thought they were siblings. And maybe in a former life they really had been, because from day one they were inseparable. Strange, weird, narcissistic, almost incestous… they heard and discarded every annoying wagging finger. Their first kiss happened the same day they met, initiated by the slightly older curious girl. At first the seven years old girl would have started almost everything, eagerly followed by the boy. This changed later as the boy reached puberty, but at seven their play was almost innocent. One day the boy’s mother decided that it wasn't right for them to play that way, the boy would visit a boarding school, but before this could have happened the boy’s mother who looked like a princess but who was an evil witch in the girl’s mind, died. The boy would stay. No one would separate them. Twelve and thirteen was their age as they lost their virginity to each other. A gross, hectic affair whose result was the decision to ban sex for a while. They grow up. Married. Were happy parents of adorable twins. But one day the tragedy struck the family. A traffic accident. The loss of two children, a hand. The boy lost his identity as a father and a renowned fetcher. The girl lost her children, her faith in her husband and gained an overwhelming rage that obscured her love, left her isolated and full of resentment for the man she'd believed would have protected her and their children. Still she couldn't understand herself as one day she woke up from another man’s bed. The boy had been her first and only lover, the same she had been for him, they hadn't need anyone else. To sleep with another man hadn't helped her feeling better, his body hadn't gave her any satisfaction. She hadn't wanted him, and he hadn't really wanted her. Not alcohol, nor the sex with another man, she wanted her husband, she wanted to feel whole again. Maybe they could start anew. He wasn't the golden knight anymore, but she loved him nonetheless, she would help him. They would be happy. Only after scrubbing herself over and over she felt able to go to him, only after having him inside her, did she felt home again. The boy and the girl were able to start again and both were ecstatic at the new of the girl’s pregnancy. Nine months after their reunion, a child was born, a babe with coal black hair and vibrant blue eyes. They named him Joffrey and the boy loved his son dearly. The girl was distraught, her son wasn't a lion, he lacked her husband’s green eyes or his golden locks. This child would destroy her life. So she hugged him tight, her little bird, it didn't take long for him to stop his struggles. She kissed his soft hair while tears streamed from her eyes. The child’s death devastated the boy, family and friends were full of sympathy for the proved couple. The suffering father and the brave mother who supported her husband. While the boy wanted to mourn, the girl was adamant to have his child as soon as possible to replace the child they had lost. Her urgency, her strange reaction to the babe’s demise, bewildered him. At the point to order a paternity test. “How could you?” “I was sick, desperate, alone. I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to forget. I don't know...I wasn't myself” “Who? How many?” “It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. It was only one time…” “Cersei” “Jaime. Please…” There is a limit to the pain a person can bear. That Jaime Lannister killed his beloved Cersei before killing himself, was considered an act of grief and mercy. Such a sad end for a story that had started like a fairy tale.

[delusaedisillusa]

The lion's mistress - chapter 5,not betad

Cersei had lost all her desire to see other people Dalia never spoke a word to her. It was alright. Jaime was there.He would be enough, soon he would marry and she would be back to her loud and animated life. She wasn’t cross with him, at least she believed she wasn’t, she was disgusted with herself. Jaime had only fucked her. It was her duty as a whore to be ready wherever he wanted her! He was Jaime fucking Lannister! He could have requested to her to please all the men at the feast and she shouldn’t have resented him at all, it was the trade she had learnt. He had damaged a stupid costume and for this she had cried like an idiot, she would get more dresses, Jaime was generous, in the few months they had spent together she already had more dresses than half of the other girls. No wonder the Madame called her spoiled, one day no one would dare to disrespect her, before that day she had to endure.

Jaime didn’t persist as she explained how she suddenly didn’t want to have other people around, more time for him exclusively. He was raptured about his prowess, having succeeded to satisfy her sexual appetite. She didn’t have to fake it anymore, he had been a good pupil and she couldn’t see why she shouldn’t savor one of the few joys of her status as mistress. To be cross with Jaime wouldn’t have been easy anyway, he cuddled her, taught her to fight, played with her. His clever japes, his playful smirks, he was entertaining and beautiful. Her defenses crumbled at his smile.

Between kisses and troubling, between lover and friend, she forgot herself again. They were lying in her bed, silent and breathless after she had shouted her pleasure, she could have been quieter, but she enjoyed to scandalized the serving wench. After regaining their breaths, they had talked like usual, the topic had seen harmless, about what they would have done in the future.

“My Lord I’m a great maegi and if you’ll give me a drop of your blood, I’ll see your future…” she had played mimicking the old hag who had gave her mother a prophecy, she had wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and knelt on the bed. Jaime laughed, he loved when Cersei was relaxed and silly, she resembled more a little girl than an old witch. He gave her his hand and was startled as she cut his finger with a little knife on her night table. “Lady witch, you are the only that can draw blood from me without me fighting back” he murmured She drank his blood and with a tremulous sigh she spoke with her eyes closed. “You will be the Lord of the Westerlands. You’ll be loved and respected as the golden lion of Lannister! You’ll win a joust after another and your renown as a knight will be as great as Ser Arthur. You’ll have five red haired children, but one day you’ll meet your first lover” She interrupted herself, adding, smirking “she’ll be the richest Madame in King’s Landing…and she’ll give you a gold haired daughter” “I will be a rich brothel owner. I wouldn’t need to serve the customer I don’t like. I will serve a few selected noble guests, maybe I will have a lover…One day I would like to have your babe. A beautiful daughter. Golden like you. In twenty years you will visit my bordel and you will get me with child” His reaction wasn’t enthusiastic like she’d expected. “Well you can’t believe I would allow my daughter to be raised in a brothel with some whores?” he said it between disbelief and disgust. Never would his daughter be a plaything for all the perverts. God, he wouldn’t allow Cersei to go back and put herself on display! He could feel Cersei withdrawn herself. Cersei was fire or ice, nothing in between, as she spoke, her voice was cold like the famous Wall in the North. “Yeah, of course, you would separate me from my child, because I’m a filthy whore. You enjoy what I do, but despise me because I learned by doing it” “I don’t despise you! I wouldn’t take your child away from you! You’ll live here with me…” he knelt like her, taking her hand between his. As she spoke her voice was dripping with sarcasm “I’m sure Lady Lysa Lannister would be delight to have us around!” He was beginning to feel annoyed “My wife will do what I command her to do” She took her hand away from his grip. “You didn’t even ask me if I want to stay here. My wonderful life between fishers and lowborn” “What is more wonderful than spread your legs for every man with enough money? My daughter would have to serve the guests too? A family tradition from the mother’s side?” Lannisport couldn’t possibly be that bad! She slapped him. He stood up from the bed and began to dress himself. Calmly he left the house.

Cersei couldn’t believe what she had done. She slapped a customer, her lord, her owner -He will not kill me…but he could!- she thought freezing He can let me starve for a few day…maybe he would beat her, she only hoped he wouldn’t mark her body…her face! What to do? A whore with scars…her teeths…She would prostrate herself, she would do everything she ever learned, she would be the best whore and a good girl. Tears of humiliation and fear streamed her checks…She did forget what she was and what he was. A whore a bastard, nothing he was a ser, a heir, the richest heir in the seven kingdoms. What did she do? What could he do?

She had slapped him, it had been a his first slap in his life. Tywin Lannister didn’t believe in bodily punishment and no one else had dared to touch him. But Cersei wasn’t like the other. She was his lioness without fear. He liked to provoke her. He loved her fire, he knew she could burn, and it didn’t matter to him. She had been shocked after the slap much more than him, he had wanted to laugh, but her eyes…fear? He didn’t know why he hadn’t said anything. It wasn’t like him to react like this, but he hadn’t wanted to fight with her. At Casterly Rock he decided to go with uncles Tygett and Gerion, lowlifes had been robbing near. A few days apart would be the best.

He hadn’t come the next day, and the day after and the day after this… She wished he would have beaten her already. The waiting for her punishment was killing her. She didn’t expect him to act that way, but sometimes she had the feeling he wasn’t really there, like he could go away inside himself. What was the fitting punishment for slapping a Lannister? She was scared, she ate and drank much more, the fear was feasting from inside, stuffing her stomach didn’t help. Dalia came everyday mute and her black clothes, she resembled a crow “Dark wings , dark words” she thought shivering. How devastating if the old hag would be the one to chase her! The ugly wench had hated her from day one, like she was some dirt staining her golden Lord, whatever Jaime would do to her, Dalia would approve wholeheartedly. She washed the dishe not speaking or even looking at Cersei. Normally Cersei would have have her fun dressing very revealing and kissing Jaime passionately where they could be seen, but today she couldn’t stand her. It was the ninth day after that damned day, she decided she had to leave the house. It would soon be dark, but she wore one of Jaime’s tunic and his breeches and rode the old quiet mare to a lake. Jaime found her at sunset glowing at the last daylight. She looked like a boy, like him truly, but she was the most beautiful creature he ever saw. He wouldn’t let her go. He would marry Lysa, he would do his duty to House Lannister, but he wouldn’t renounce her. No other man would ever buy her. No one after him, and if he ever found out who had been her first customer he would have killed him. He would be the one and the first in every other aspects. She stood, it was rare to see her relaxed, she had an inner frenzy, she couldn’t stand still for too long. Her glance reached him, visibly scared. He wanted to reassure her, but it had been so long, nine days without touching her, later they would have time to talk. With long steps he reached her, he kissed her, grabbing as much as he could.

-He still wants me- she thought briefly -he wants to take me here- It wouldn’t had been their first time outside, but she had been so scared this long, her body was stiff, the relief not quite reached her jet. “Oh” it took her by surprise as he turned her on all fours and touched her anus, of course she knew that one day a customer would take her rear, but Jaime had never spoken about. She also knew it would hurt, especially without any oil. -This is how he’ll punish me- he could have done worse, but still she wanted to weep. It did hurt. Much more than her first time. Every push burned. She refused to let the tears flow. She would have liked to bite her lips, but she had to perform, so she moaned, hoping he wouldn’t last very long. She was paid for this she reminded herself. She wasn’t his mistress, she wasn’t her Master at arms, she was just a whore he could take like an animal. After a while he reached his peak. “There is blood on my cock!” He sounded disgusted. She choked a sob, and smiled kneeling before him, every movement painful. “I can suck you clean” she purred “Cersei it is your blood, you are hurt!” He sounded concerned. What game was he playing? Wasn’t it supposed to hurt her? She was confused, it was already too dark to see him clearly, but he was covering himself. “I’m sorry Jaime” she murmured still kneeling “Why didn’t you tell me to stop?” “But…you liked it!” “You said you would teach me to please a woman not to hurt one” “I thought you wanted to!” she whispered “Why would I do this?” “A Lannister pays his debt, I slapped you, but I’m sorry Jaime, I’ll never do this again!” She hated to beg, but tears and her body were her only weapons. She was cold, hurt, miserable. She couldn’t stand him, his stupid questions. He couldn’t have really believe she would like to be fucked that way! Should she tell him that men loved to hurt women? How she had almost choked on cocks because they like her fear? She could have tell him stories! “Jaime you own me. You have the right to take your pleasure, the way you like, but please don’t mark my body!” “I’m a knight, I would never beat you!” his indignation made her smile -you hurt me as you fucked my ass raw- They didn’t spoke their way back. Riding was painful and she cried silent tears, but she managed a smile as he knightly helped her dismount her mare. She kissed him goodbye

[delusaedisillusa]

The lion’s mistress - Chapter 4

Betad by namelessrandom (thank you)

The dance of the butterfly

Because of her sunburn, Jaime hadn't requested any performance.

He had visited her everyday, regardless of the weather or his schedule, bringing her delicious treats, clothes and beautiful little things like shells or flowers.

One day he brought her a board game, although she was sure he made the rules up, they laughed together and he claimed as a prize for his victory kisses from her.

It was strange, it as if he wasn't her customer, but a suitor, sometimes even a friend.

Cersei had never had a real friend before.

After a month together she realized that even if she didn't love him, and she didn't get satisfaction from their coupling, he was somehow dear to her.

When Jaime wasn't there, she felt deserted. She had always thought she would have loved to be alone, away from the stupid hens and their idiotic women talks, but the days felt endless.

The quiet was unnerving, she was used to the loud crowd from the Red Keep, the chatting of the girls, the singing of the cook and the maids.

The customers would speak endlessly about their wives and their lack of beauty and they would often complain about their children… Everyone talked to her.

One day she had been desperate enough she had even tried to talk to Dalia, the ugly cow had answered in monosyllables.

Dalia's glance reminded her of the baker's wife.

Cersei had always been beautiful, but before flowering she had been a wispy tomboy, after playing in the streets with a pack of, mostly, boys, she came back famished.

Her mother would often give her money to buy her favourite pie and the baker's wife always gave her a big juicy one. The brat with big green eyes and a mischievous smile had charmed the woman.

This changed when she got older and more feminine, the other girls refused to speak to her because of her mother's profession, the older boys tried to touch her and the baker, who had always ignored her, smiled the kind of smile she had learned to recognize and hate.

When her mother died, she started to work and Cersei the brat was dead for the world. Cersei the whore didn't get a big pie, and even if they were the best pies in town, Cersei couldn't enjoy it anymore, not when it came with a hateful glance from the baker's wife who had always been kind to her.

Cersei never forgot a slight, she remembered everything and one day, when she was powerful and rich, she would take her revenge, but she didn't want to think about the sad events in her life, she wanted to savour her life as mistress…

But...

Her life was boring.

Yes she was the mistress of a future lord, but no one saw her and her marvellous dresses.

Jaime wasn't helping. He never admired her dresses as she asked him if he liked her more in emerald green or wildfire green, he told her he would prefer her naked with her hair loose.

Outside Jaime, only Dalia and a few peasants ever saw her.

She started to long for Jaime to come to her, to talk to her, to touch her.

She started to feel alive and whole when he was by her.

He would come to her after his sparring, they would make love and then he would leave her and he would come back later in the evening.

Sometimes he would sleep in 'her' home, for that she was glad, but there were times when he was tired and just slept after their coupling.

He asked her if something was wrong one night, they were still in bed after their coupling, and he got mad for the first time.

"Why are you lying?" he asked curious but also offended.

"I'm not lying. Everything is great, you are perfect, I'm glad to be here with you."

"Cersei, you aren't the same person when we I have you and when we are riding together or having fun. It's like you are pretending. Why? I don't want for you to pretending to be happy, I want you smiling and satisfied and not pretending to be so!"

He didn't like her to play shy, he didn't like her to play the whore. What the fuck did he want?

"Be honest with me."

Easy for him to say!

"Don't play and tell me what you really want and what I can do for making you feel as good as I feel. Uncle Gerion told me that women can feel as much satisfaction as men. I want to give you pleasure."

What did she really want?

Money, power, respect...a great love life was the last of her desires! Love? No dear, no thank you. Lust? A good whore didn't let herself go, she would serve her customer for his satisfaction.

"Cersei, I want to be good. I want you to feel good. You aren't my whore, Cersei. You are my master at arms. Teach me, don't spoil me."

"Master at arms?" she could teach this boy to be a good lover, his bride would appreciate, and he would be thankful to her, he would visit her in King's Landing...

"Call me mistress, Jaime." she gave him her most radiant smile.

This smile transmuted her face, she was more than beautiful.

"You suck." Since the young lord wasn't her customer anymore, but a lowly apprentice she didn't sugar-coat her language anymore, he didn't seem to mind it.

The Lannister boy was a cub, he wanted to play, but he didn't want to be in control.

Cersei loved her new position as Master at arms.

"No, I lick...and suck and you aren't satisfied." Came his voice from between her legs.

"Did I say you could stop?" She asked while arrange his head where it had been before.

How much fun it was. A boy true, but a powerful boy between her legs, the same position she had for years, lapping at her folds for her pleasure and his education.

She didn't know what made her feel better, his clever tongue or his subdued position.

She had told him what he needed to do to make a woman happy and to make her happy.

She wanted for him to teach her how to ride and how to fight with a sword.

He had been dumbfounded, but he accepted her wishes like he followed her commands.

"I want to see other people Jaime! I'm lonely and bored here."

His face told her he hadn't even thought that she could be lonely.

Men.

"Other people, well I can arrange this!" His expression looked pensive for the rest of the night.

The next day he came with his dwarf brother.

"First time seeing a dwarf!" He was ugly and short, but nothing exceptional.

"First time seeing a whore." He answered nonchalantly while Jaime laughed.

He was seven years old, but as tall as a three year old and yet spoke like an adult.

She detested him, but he was interesting.

No matter how hideous he was and the naturally antipathy he inspired, she looked forward to the next visit of the youngest Lannister, who even offered to teach her how to read.

With Ser Gerion and his two nephews by her side, she visited Lannisport, she even made acquaintance with Addam Marbrand, Jaime’s best friend.

Back at home as Jaime told her he would take her to a ball, she felt as happy as she had been for a long time.

Jaime wouldn't tell her anything about the ball, just that it would take place in two months in Lannisport, it wasn't an official one, the host was a rich merchant, she wouldn't feel out of place. The sword lessons were replaced temporarily by dancing lessons.

Tyrion who to her chagrin wouldn't be there, taught her some table manner.

After months of monotony her life was as thrilling as it had once been.

The costume that Jaime had ordered for her from the needlewoman in Lannisport was marvellous!

Never had she worn something as beautiful. She had needed a few minutes to catch her breath and to gather the courage to touch it.

Once a girl at the brothel got some peacock feathers from a customer, Cersei had been fascinated and unable to stop herself, she stole one.

Of course she was caught, she still remembered the pain from her beating and the pain from losing her treasure.

The costume was hers, the lavish fabric, and the semiprecious stones. The wings made of silk and bamboo… It was perfect.

The jewelled mask concealed the upper part of her face, making her lips even more lush, her complexion was golden, her eyes a pool of green water.

In her butterfly dress she felt gorgeous.

At the feast she was the most admired, no one gibed her, no one spat on her face.

Addam was telling her story about Jaime, the games they had played…

Jaime disguised as a lion was approaching her, surely he wanted to dance with her.

What a wonderful day!

She was the most beautiful, and he wasn't alone with his opinion.

He had the feeling every man in the room leached to fuck her.

He felt rage building inside him, before she came into his life he had never suffered like this.

He had the urge to kill whenever he noticed that someone was watching her with desire.

As she laughed about something Addam was saying. He realized even his best friend was causing his jealousy to boil.

He had chosen her butterfly costume, he had seen the costume before, but he didn't imagine she would look this… forbidden!

She was aerial, it seemed she could have been swept away with a light breeze.

Jaime wanted to catch this butterfly and to never let her go.

She was his, why was she smiling to another? Her true smile, her true Cersei smile, not her whore's smile.

Time to show her that she couldn't fly away from him.

She looked at him and he couldn't think straight.

He had to have her; unceremoniously he took her hand and took her to an empty room where he could finally sate his desire.

Her wonderful dress was torn, utterly ruined, her cunt ached.

She was seven once again and they took away her peacock feather.

She couldn't go back to the feast, everybody could have noticed what Jaime did, everyone could see that she wasn't like them, she was a whore.

She had been foolish, she was a whore, she had learned her lesson when she was twelve as the baker's wife didn't give her any pies anymore and everyone looked at her like she was a piece of meat. Not Cersei the girl but Cersei the whore, the cocksucker, the girl no respectable woman could greet. And she was a fool to believe anything else.

Jaime fumbled at her dress, trying to make her look decent.

Laughing she helped him and then he escorted her home.

Once alone again she could finally cry. For the seven year old who had lost her treasure, for the girl without friends, for her soft beloved mother, for the twelve year old forced to do things she didn't like, and finally she cried for a young whore who thought she would have a nice day out...like a lady.

[delusaedisillusa]

The lion's mistress- chapter 3

On the road

She travelled by wheelhouse. Alone. The Lannister boy had widened his eyes when she told him that she had never ridden before. She hadn’t even touched a horse beforehand and she surely had no love for the huge beasts! He asked how she travelled previously and was surprised when she’d told him that she had never been outside King’s Landing. His uncle had laughed and told him that whores were the best riders, but that they didn’t ride on horses. Thus her journey began.

By the Seven! If she had a penny every time Jaime mentioned Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the morning, she could have bought Casterly Rock… two times! She never saw him, but she was sure she would have recognized him. The way his white cloak would fall from his shoulder, how he would handle his glorious sword… ‘He should have let the great knight fuck his pretty ass, no doubt Ser Dayne would have appreciated.’ After hours of being caged like some stupid bird, with no one to talk to, and the pleasure of feeling every bump of the twice-damned road, they finally decided to take a rest. Taking a rest meant for her to be fucked by ser Jaime Lannister. He would fuck her like it was his last day on earth, and then he would talk “Did I tell you how Ser Arthur…” and then he would tell her something fascinating like how Ser Arthur could fight and slice an apple at the same time, or something like that, after a short break he would fuck her again. He lasted longer now, and she wished his breaks would be longer too, but he had too much stamina. Her body felt sore, her cunt was irritated and tender, sometimes she had the feeling his cock was longer inside her than inside his pants. Sore, sick, miserable. She had liked his kisses, but now she wanted to slap him. He was happy to return home, to his brother, she had heard he was as hideous as Jaime was beautiful, a twisted ugly creature with fangs and claws… She didn’t understand how he could love him, how such a monster was allowed to live. She kind of looked forward to seeing him, Jaime had laughed at her question if he really had a cock and a cunt. He told her that he was a little boy with a head larger than average, his legs shorter and his mind sharper than his sword. His huge sexual appetite wearied her; he rode the whole time, why didn’t he just sleep? She had been proud that most men couldn’t get hard after her ministrations, Jaime needed scarcely ten minutes and after her mouth he wanted her cunt. Every night she put the sponge dipped in vinegar inside, this should kept his dangerous seeds away from her womb. Her greatest fear was to get pregnant before becoming rich and powerful. Jaime was too young and his father still too alive and well, if she got pregnant she was sure he would soon get bored of her body. She would have to sink her level, his family would hopefully take the little bastard, but her life would be over, maybe they would arrange a marriage with some nobody… No, she would whore her way back to King’s Landing, better than to live between fishers in Lannisport. It wasn’t only the fear, she was kind of homesickness. The brothel had been her home, the girls some kind of family…now she only had Jaime, and she needed to monopolize him, two years before his marriage, and Cersei planned to be his only woman this time. She cried tears of joy as her moon blood came, for a few days her cunt could rest. Despite some discomfort with the frequency of his desire, being with Jaime Lannister meant eating the best, drinking the best, wearing the best money could buy. The Madame had feared she would fall in love with the boy, but Cersei wasn’t an idiotic goose who wanted to be loved. Living in the brothel she saw what a woman was worth. A nice penny for a fresh pair of tits and a kick in the ass for a sapped one. She had been lucky to be born to one of the rich and noble. They were looked after, cured and didn’t have to whore themselves to exhaustion. When the rich boy had had his fill, she would be going back with her cunt still tight and purse filled with gold They lost a lot of time because of the wheelhouse. She could hear the swearing outside when the wheels got stuck. She could hear the cheering when Jaime came out, after visiting her… She hated them all. They reached the Westerlands a fortnight later than planned. The sight of Casterly Rock was overwhelming, it was immense even from far away. She couldn’t wait to witness the sumptuous life of the rich, but Ser Gerion surprised her, she would stay in a house between Lannisport and the Rock. She had expected she would live at Casterly Rock. Wasn’t it normal for the nobles to want their mistresses near? A hunting house between his home and Lannisport would become her new home. The hunting house was by not by any means small, but compared to the Rock…it was a rather modest affair. She had pictured herself eating from golden plates, surrounded by servants, being 'Ser Jaime’s girl’ That Jaime hadn’t been able to leave her alone for a bit and had acted as if he couldn’t live if she wasn’t by him, this new Jaime was eager to leave for his dumb golden Rock. He made it clear to her that it wasn’t a good idea for her to visit his home, as his father wasn’t fond of whores, but she was sure she could change his mind. One day she would see the inside of this impressive fortress she had glimpsed at the horizon. She kissed him goodbye only pouting a bit, she needed a bath and she needed to rest. Only one servant would tend to her needs. Dalia, an ugly, old sour looking woman with sagging enormous breasts. A woman who, judging the way she glared at her, didn’t like her at all. No doubt she thought she wasn’t good enough for her 'young lord’ to stick his prick in her. When Cersei asked for a bath, she had looked at her like she was out of her mind. Cersei wasn’t able to stop herself from a sneaky remark “We don’t want for Ser Jaime to fuck a dirty woman, do we? His cock could rot!” The water wasn’t hot enough and she missed Jaime scrubbing her back. For most of the journey she had wanted for him to leave her alone, and now she missed him. How could he leave her alone in her first night in the house that would be her home for the next two years? She slept in a huge but simple bed, and unlike the ones she had shared with Jaime, it hadn’t been warmed before. Nevertheless she slept immediately and dreamed. It was more a memory than a dream. She was six years old and had a rogue fever that had lasted days. Years later they had told her how no one had expected her to survive, her mother hadn’t left her side, she had sponged her body to break the fever, she had kissed her caressing her hair. Mother had loved her. Someone was caressing her head, mother… She woke up startled, it wasn’t her mother of course, the one petting her only loved her cunt. “Good morning Jaime.” She remembered to smile, the girls in the brothel knew better than to wake her up, but he wasn’t aware of the danger of waking her up, he was fully clothed in her bed. “You were weeping in your sleep. Did you miss me?” His usual cocky smile painted on his lips. Did she miss him, or the feeling of being loved? She couldn’t tell. “I’ve missed my sweet Jaime so much.” As soon as her words were out, he was already reaching for her blanket, but a loud knocking startled both of them. “Your bath is ready.” Dalia entered with the grace of a bull. Her expression as sour as it had been the night before. “Will you join me?” she asked in her most seductive voice, raising from her bed naked and not caring to wear her gown. “If I get out of my clothes, I’ll forget all of my plans for today. Be a good girl and I’ll scrub your back for you.” Dalia glared was aimed at her naked body, but it soften as she watched Jaime. She would prefer that he put my head under water, but it wasn’t Jaime’s intention, his hands wandered around her body. “Don’t worry Dalia, I’ll help her.” As if the witch gave a damn about her. He turned toward Cersei, “Dalia is a great cook, I’ll leave you in the best of care” She had been sure he would fuck her in the bath, but he didn’t try anything, despite his stiff cock. After a breakfast full of delicacy from his noble table. Jamie showed her other things he bought for her. “I noticed your clothes aren’t appropriate for riding, this are some of my things. We can compare who wear it better” It was a funny feeling wearing his clothes, she felt so much better and again she marvelled at their similarity. Both starred fascinatingly at each other, it was like watching their own reflection coming to live. “What are your plans for today, Jaime?” “I’ll be showing you around.” He lifted her onto his horse first and mounted behind her, she could feel his hardness poking at her spine, and she rubbed her ass provocatively on his front. If she would have to suffer, he would too. True to his words Jaime showed her one beautiful place after another. Since the house was isolated they only met a few people who already seemed to know who she was. She couldn’t resent them, they looked like twins, but after the initial surprise they watched her like she was some freak. 'So they are more accustomed to hideous dwarfs then whores.’ She hated country bumpkin. She couldn’t believe the sea was this clear and clean. Jaime took her to his secret cave. “I can’t swim” He was incredulous as he, of course, could swim elegantly and fast. After showing off, he offered her to teach her how to swim. She was famished, her butt and legs hurt, but she had always wanted to swim. Her mother had been able to swim, but she had never taught her to, because it was too dangerous for them to go outside half naked. “We aren’t women, we are unprotected game.” No stroll alone, no swimming, they could only go out in a group with Jill, the big muscled servant. But now her arms were around his neck, her naked breasts pressed on his back, the smell of the sea, her fatigue, her almost freedom… She felt drunk. Later as he thrusted inside her, she arched her back so he could reach deeper inside her, hugging him with her aching, heavy limbs. She could almost understand why some women liked to have sex. This time she didn’t mind that he rested his body on her, she didn’t mind his sweat and his body who was always too warm. His curls were plastered with seawater, his full lips slightly open, and she kissed him, not to seduce him, but because she wanted too. She was happy that his uncle bought her. They spent the whole day together, having fun, eating and drinking as if they were famished. She was completely exhausted. The next day Jaime found her feverish and with sunburn. “Her skin is too fair, you shouldn’t have taken her swimming the whole day!” A voice Cersei couldn’t recognize spoke. She felt like dying. She called for her mother, her mother smiled and suddenly she was gone. Men were around her. Men were dangerous! She had to protect her virginity… “She needs to drink lot of water, she should eat fruits and vegetables…” “I don’t want to eat beets! I hate beets.” “The beautiful wench is coming back! Jaime take care she doesn’t get any beets” This time she recognized the laugh. It was Gerion Lannister “Jaime?” her tongue was numb, her mouth dry “What happened?” “You have a nice sunburn” he kissed her fingers. Cersei was tried to smile, but her face hurt so much, she stopped midway. “How do I look?” “Delicious. Like a roasted duck.” She whimpered.

[delusaedisillusa]

Maggy's prophecy

“You wicked witch! It’s your fault! only your fault! Melara is dead because of the crap you spoke!” The blonde little girl looked disheveled and angry. The Maegi couldn’t sense mourning for her friend. “You must be heartbroken little lioness, you wished so strongly for her to marry your brother. Ed Such a pity” she laughed. The lioness may not have pushed the girl, but she didn’t help her friend either. No the girl would never have friends, she would go her path to destruction alone, afraid from every shadow, crazy, paranoid, hurting foes and allies alike. Sure she had a second path, a twin destiny with similarities, but very different. She wouldn’t be the Queen of Westeros, but she would rule her own life. She would bear her brother’s children, but his hands wouldn’t choke the life from her. She would be happy, sadly,her character wouldn’t improve … The Maegi was deep in trance, the first time she had saw her as the bitter Queen, the mourning mother, the destroyed woman, it had been so clear. But she wasn’t supposed to come back in her tent… A second time, two bodies, two destiny, two… She came abruptly to reality. The brat was smashing every bottle she could reach. Damn her. She smiled, the second path wouldn’t punish the girl, but it would make her more human. And she needed an assistant. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to make this portions?” “I don’t care you smelly old hag!” “You will because you’ll make them!” The incredoulos face of the girl was a few broken bottles worth, almost. “You are out of your mind! Do you know who my father is…” The old woman decided that it was enough, it was late and the road was long. She looked deep in the big green eyes, eyes that changed from angry to surprised, to scary to obedient. “If you want to be happy you’ll should forget it. Now you’ll clean the mess and start to pack. Lea Flower, we have a long way home.” “Yes,mistress”

As the Lannister searched desperately for their golden maid. An old woman and her young apprentice traveled to the Dorne, one of the many stations in their turbulent life.

[delusaedisillusa]

...and choke the life from you... 1/2

Daenerys could have killed them, Tyrion could have killed them…but they didn’t and they both lived. Surely Casterly Rock was lost forever, so were the Iron Throne and Westeros, Myrcella and Tommen dead…but he had Cersei, and only that mattered. Cersei hadn’t shared his opinion, she had been hysterical since her children’s death and her shattered legs couldn’t carry her anymore, but Tyrion could have done worse and he didn’t ask for Cersei’s percussion, some overzealous bastard did, but again she was alive and he would never let her go. He had been lost, after learning of her infidelity, he had wished for her death. No, he had wished to kill her, to destroy her beautiful face, to rape her till her death, afterward he would had kill himself. Death would wash her from her sin. Death would purificate their love. After escaping from death, as he discovered that every woman was a lying betrayer, beautiful and ugly alike, he decided that he had to take her and treat like a woman seemed to be treated; like his father would have done. White walkers, dragons, battles around him, but all this didn’t touch him. His place was by Cersei. Once again he was welcomed by the news of his children death, but after seeing so many killed children, it didn’t shock him, her short blond curls disturbed him more than Myrcella’s and Tommen’s demise, more than her crippled legs. Seeing her broken and unable to walk didn’t managed to calm his rage toward her, but he discovered the need to hurt and to be tender could both live in him. She had been a crying hysteric mess, pale and way too thin. Still, she was the most beautiful woman in the world and he had wanted her. Tyrion had obtained the Rock and the right to safe his siblings life. He gave them gold, promise of more gold and a house in Lys. The Lannister twins weren’t wanted in Westeros. The death of Tommen and Myrcella seemed to have devastated his little brother, who hadn’t want anymore revenge. This is how he took the alternatively weeping and screaming Cersei to their new home. The house was huge, well kept and with enough servants. Despite the servants, he was the one who bathed and dressed his sister. His sister had ceased to cry exclusively, but her bitter nagging, her angry outbursts were just as annoying. She blamed him for everything awful that happened to her. Her walk of penitence, the death of her children, her crippled legs… He couldn’t think about her walk, without boiling with rage, she naked for all to see, just the thoughts made him furious. There were alone, just the two of them, like it was meant to be. The never ending crying had almost drowned her, but after a while she seemed to want to move on, maybe because of the child she was carrying. But history wouldn’t repeat herself. He would make sure of this.

Tommen was dead, Myrcella was dead. Tyrion couldn’t forget the events of one of the worst day of his life … Ten summer has passed ten summers as the hand of the queen. He decided he could take a vacation, it had been so long since seeing Jaime for the last time. He would have to see her again too, he dreaded to see her again, he was afraid. Lord Tyrion Lannister the Hand of the queen, one of the richest and most powerful men in the seven Kingdoms, a dragon rider a hero of the war, the Imp, the Kinslayer, the demon monkey…he had so many names, he couldn’t recall them all. This man was afraid to see the face of his exiled older sister. A face that haunted him. Now after planning the details of the journey he dreamed every night of the day Tommen and Myrcella had died. He couldn’t help himself, his eyes were being drained to her, he had waited for her screams, insults, hate…but Cersei’s eyes had been dry, her posture almost calm, sitting in her wheelchair, but looking even more tall than ever. She had looked at the queen and the young Griff, the boy had cried and screamed, he had fallen hard for Myrcella, then she had looked at him “Gold shall be their crowns and gold their shrouds…come valonqar…” her whispering voice resonated in the silence. Valonqar…little brother, Cersei had never called him so.

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Tangled hearts

Once upon a time there was a girl named Tyra. Tyra had no brothers or sisters, but a cousin of the same age named Joanna, they both looked like two peas in a pod. The two girls with golden hair and large emerald green eyes belonged to a noble and proud family. A family that had always been very important and although the current heir seemed to do everything to make them fall into oblivion, The Lannisters were too rich to be forgotten. They were born in Lannisport and their parents did not have the power or money of the Lions from the Rock, the ancestral home of the Lannister, nevertheless Tyra and Joanna were proud to be part of their family, saw themselves as lionesses and had sworn that the world would hear their roar . Joanna was successful there, having grown up with important people and high-ranking folks, courted by Aerys Targaryen prince of high society, the beautiful lioness had married Tywin Lannister, the heir of Casterly Rock. Young beautiful and fearless. The man that with just twenty-one years hold important positions in the family already. Tyra was sure, if Tywin had been born a few centuries earlier, they would have dedicated verses and poems for his deeds. Joanna had married the “Lion King”, lived fairytale life, respected, adored, courted. The absolute love of her husband was source of envy for many ladies of Westero’s high society, who hadn’t such affection from their husbands. Tyra had much less luck of her cousin, no she had not gone to school with such of Rhaella Targaryen or Ilaria Martell. Neither had a “grand segneur” courted her. Tyra had only the appearance of the once loved, but now only envied, cousin. Everyone said that she lacked the fire of Joanna -What I miss are the friends in high places! - Tyra thought bitterly as she served tea, and would had gladly drank something stronger. She had married in haste shortly after Joanna, green with envy. Everyone knew that Joanna and herself, had loved each other like sisters, everyone seemed to know of their dreams, all compared her to the fortunate cousin! So she married only a few weeks after their first date, a Martin Payne, a distant relative of the Payne who acted as handyman for Tywin, a man who had the advantage of not having met her cousin, who called her the most beautiful woman ever seen, a man who wanted to be important. “Honey, I don’t want to stay for my entire life in the shadow of Tywin Lannister! Ilyn, the bloody fool,thinks your cousin Tywin would be a God” the two were naked, Martyn caressed her, enchanted by her beauty. Although not rich Tyra was a Lannister, even the copy of the wife of the “Lion”, he was sure that the Lannisters would open their coffers and give them a nice dowry. Tyra also seemed docile, but was a real lioness in bed, the woman would be his fortune! “Tyra are you sure you want to marry?” had asked the preoccupied Joanna “You known him so little!” The bride had just returned from their honeymoon - Only ten days, Tywin could not be absent too long- she had smiled, as she brought some souvenirs for her cousin. Tyra had hated her, the makeup of her cousin was impeccable. The dress she wore simple but refined. No one would ever confused the elegant woman with her. “Joanna, do you believe you are the only one worth to get married, right?” She asked, pouring a glass of wine “Want some?” “Tyra is just ten!” “ Too early to get up, for a bride, no?” "Tyra do you know what you’re doing? Tywin said that Martyn’s draft is doomed to fail. Also he wants to go so far away! Tywin …” "Joanna ” snapped Tyra “Would you please stop naming your husband every ten seconds? I want to go away, I want something of mine and Martyn will help me!” “Tyra do you love him?” "I think so” "Good luck lioness” "You too lioness” They embraced, they would not meet for almost ten years.

Irony of fate both women who were often mistaken for twins, had both given birth to twins. Tyra had given birth first, followed a month later by Joanna. Joanna beautiful children were named Jaime and Ceres. Jaime had inherited both the golden curls and the emerald green eyes from his mother, while little Ceres eyes were pale green flecked with gold like the eyes of her father, with pale blond hair. The little family seemed to be out of a book. So much beauty and perfection, could not be true. Could it? Again Tyra had less luck. The pregnancy had stolen all energy, she felt lonely, ugly, fat. As the twins had finally decided to come out, she found herself with a beautiful little girl with golden curls and a dwarf. Cersei Lannister was a pure Lannister, blonde,fair skinned, with the same green eyes of her mother. The child who she named Tyrion was an ugly dwarf with a mixture of blond and black hair, with a black eye and a green one. Tyra had screamed in horror as soon as the nurse had tried to put him in her arms.

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Virgin boy and Nasty girl

Deep in shit. He suppose he could say this, if it hadn’t been just a dream his horny mind had featured because of his sick sexual preferences. Had he really had oral sex with his twin sister? Too bad the bed sheets couldn’t tell him anything, if his head wouldn’t had hurt so much he may have search for sperm traces…but then again…hadn’t she swallowed the body of crime? He had been between her legs licking like an horny dog, while she had moaned his name and told him was a good, sweet brother he was… His morning wood was killing him, he couldn’t think straight, dream or reality, his body decided he had more urgent matters to take care of. He finished his business quite fast, no wonder with the porn playing in his head staring his giggling sister “I’ve always wanted to try this” this had been either the tequila, the weeds or his cock. He couldn’t tell, but if it hadn’t been a dream, she had her fair share of all three subjects. The booze had be real a nightmare for his poor head. He felt like the dried up lemon slices on the table, many of them with his sister dental impression. Should he ask her, very politely of course, if she had giving him head the night before? Not a proper thing to do and true to be told he didn’t know how to behave toward this beautiful stranger that had been his best friend and other half. They hadn’t seen each other in ages. After their mother’s death, Cersei had been secluded in an exclusive Swiss boarding school, while Jaime had been in Eaton. The summer holiday were spent by their respective friends. The few days they spent together during Christmas and other festivity, were too short for bonding. Cersei was just a bitchy girl. Jaime preferred little Tyrion to his always commanding blonde twin. This time, they were together for the family holiday in their summer house ,the first since dad had left the old Targaryen.

“You know what little brother, you look kind of dumb with you mouth wide open. Like an idiot.” He couldn’t help but to gasp at his twin sister bathing in the sun, with only a very reduced bikini slip. His eyes were glued to the water drops on her breasts. God knows how many times one of his quirk remarks had brought him troubles, but once again his tongue was quicker “You know what big sister you looked really nasty with my cock between your lips. Like a whore.” Her eyes changed they were now like that of a wildcat. Would she scratch his eyes? Instead she laughed, sweet and throaty. “I doubt you ever saw a whore virgin-boy. I highly doubt this.” She didn’t negate. It happened. He did it with his twin sister. By the Seven! “Cersei, how could this happened. Why?” “It’s not like it was the first time we were intimate!” “We were six!” “Yes” “My God. This is so wrong. What we did…” “You have may have a cock, but I’m the one with balls. That’s for sure. Are you done whining Virgin-boy? We licked each other, what’s the big deal?” she drank a colorful drink, sucking at the straw “It wasn’t even my first time, but maybe I’m too much woman for you. It’s not like you were that great, and you aren’t the only one with a cock…So chill out virgin-boy” She stood up, ready to go in the house, her bikini till wet, but before entering she shot him an offensive…nasty glance “I play with lions and I devour sheeps. But I like my sheeps more meaty” Jaime was torn between regret. He would never again…and rage. No one had ever called him a coward. He wasn’t a sheep. What was the stupid talk about Virgin-boy? Wasn’t she a virgin too? She wouldn’t have slept with anyone? Who had it been? He realized he had balled his first. He was jealous.

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The never ending circle

He had tried. He had tried to go away, to change. He had wanted to start anew, marrying a woman who couldn’t be more different than her. To swap fro crimson to blue, until the crimson came back covering the blue till it was the only color he could see. His whole world covering in blood. Her blood.

He had been ready to end her life and maybe his, but Brienne the manifestation of his conscience had stopped him. He had wanted to kill her, it had been so close he could feel her pulse dying between his hands. Her body becoming cold like his right hand. When he dreamed about this, he would wake up sexually aroused and disgusted with himself, he would take a shower, riding his horse like a madman, shower again before he could look at the calm and innocent face of his wife. He needed to see her to be remembered that he wanted to be good, he wanted to be honourable and he could do this, till he dreamt of her again.

Maybe it would have been merciful if he had killed her, she wouldn’t had to see her children die. She wouldn’t had become crazy, she wouldn’t had spirited away. That a woman like Cersei could have disappear without trace, he wouldn’t had thought it was possible. Not only her body, her whole persona was remarkable, once you saw her she wouldn’t let go your mind. They tried to find her, she was still his twin sister, still a Lannister, but without avail. Cersei Lannister stayed away, and he knew she was still alive because he couldn’t believe that she would die and he wouldn’t perceived this. He tried to explain it to his family, he only earned sympathetic words, there hadn’t been any demands, no his family believed Cersei had surely killed herself. Nobody seemed to miss her.

How many years of therapy, only to realized he had always mirrored her twin, he hadn’t developed a true personality, he had always done what he thought his sister would like. His desire to be with her was because he wanted to be as fierce and bold as her. She had touched the lions. He hadn’t. But he had touched her. She was a dangerous as any lion. Codependency, narcissism, loss of boundary… Love wasn’t mentioned. The children, to be accurate their death, had caused her downfall to madness. He had seen her broken. He had closed his eyes and their life together. He had married Brienne started his path into an honorable life.

He hadn’t thought that this need to start a family would end their life together. He hadn’t had a strong desire to have children, but Brienne, to his surprise, wanted to be a mother. Two years after trying without any success, they had visited a fertility clinic. They diagnosed Brienne with an endocrine disorder. Brienne had been devastated, her fragile self esteem broken. The therapy was a torture. The first pregnancy ended with an abortion after six weeks. Three months later the two fetuses they had implanted were expelled. “It’s like my body rejects to be female” she had cried. Her blue eyes vacant. The third try, ended before the stable period. Jaime decided they would take a vacation. She was still young, they would try later. If she really wanted to have a child they could adopt one. She was strong, she would be able to get over the gossips and the pitying glance, she has the heart of a warrior. They were visiting Tarth, she had gone swimming, only to not coming back.

She had been his only light. It was dark again

[delusaedisillusa]

Story of a girl

1.

Cersei Lannister, former Marbrand was five years old as she started to hate. It was like that time, when she had wanted to play with the boys only to be told she couldn’t , because she was just a little girl. Like when the teacher told the class to draw their pet, and she had been scolded for drawing a lion. When she wanted to play with dad, but she couldn’t visit him, because he was sleepy. It was all of it, only worse. She looked at her new baby brother, a pink thing with yellow hairs, not understanding why the whole fuss about a little something that could only cry and shit. Even her new dad was different, he smiled and kissed her mother’s forehead. “Look at him Cersei, he is your splitting image!” “I don’t think so” she said clear and pointed, the way they had teached her to talk, the adults laughed. Tywin Lannister had frowned a bit. “His eyes are blue” she explained, the baby had scary blue eyes like Mrs. Tippy who had been their blind neighbor. Joanna beemed. “Your eyes were just the same. Your little brother will resemble you like a twin” she caressed Cersei’s curl, the same way her true daddy had done. Mother looked fatigue, but happy, the way she had looked in her wedding pictures as she had married for the second time. Cersei believed she laughed and smiled so much because her new father didn’t. “His name is Jaime, from the french “J’aime” I love. Because love is the most important thing.” but she wasn’t looking at Cersei, her eyes were looked with them of her husband, who glanced proud and loving at her and the baby. A father, a mother and their child. Cersei was just five years old but she felt the dread shallowing her. She had no place in her mother’s new family, she wouldn’t play a main role anymore. She would never forget Jaime’s birth, it was the day she started to hate, the day bitterness and envy bloomed in her heart. This feelings would accompany till her death.

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Fatherhood

He recalled how Joffrey’s eyes had beamed the time he had compliment him on his first hunt. How Myrcella had played the Storm Queen, asking him if she could change her name in Argella. How Tommen had fawned over his fawn Three golden children calling him father Their bodies looked so petty without their heads, even Joffrey who had been tall for his age.

He had to execute them. They were abomination born from incest. He would have loved to kill their parents, but they were nowhere to be found. Jon was very sick, Stannis very convincing, the children had to die. A moon turnlater they had.

They hadn’t be golden anymore, the three figures in grey garb, their hair dirty and mattered. Pale and thin , their green eyes huge in the scared faces. A moon turn in the black cells with bread and water and nothing remains of the proud cubs. Tommen was sobbing, Joffrey raged, Myrcella just looked at him. He felt sick before the first head rolled.

Renly didn’t seem very sad of the deaths of the children he had claimed to love. He brought a girl barely older than Joffrey had been. Renly had planned for her to become the next queen, a Tyrell, another cunt who would ruin his life. An heir, he had to fathered one, he tried to recall the faces of his bastards, but only green eyes and golden hair appeared before him. Fair skin, large emerald eyes, a baby face a doll face and one of a boy slowly turning into a man. Now their beauty turned to rotting ugliness.

Myrcella would have become more beautiful than her mother, and a better wife. Joffrey needed a girl, and probably a pat on his head now and then. Tommen needed a good fostering. Ned would have been perfect. To make a man out of him without destroying his gentle nature. Strange how he could manage to see a future for them, now that there wasn’t no future.

Now and then he thought about the Kingsslayer and Cersei, but not often and strangely only slightly curious. But his former children, they never left him alone. They spoke to him, about hunting, needle work, kittens. This time he listened. He would be a better father and avenge them.

Stannis, Renly and Varys were executed. Shireen was sent to the silent sisters. Robert Baratheon, a shadow from his former self, dedicated his whole time talking to the children he had let die. Tywin Lannister, who unlike twenty years earlier was welcomed and regarded as a savior, came to Kingslanding with his daughter and her twin back.

Stannis and Renly had plotted to kill the true born children of Robert. Robert had believed them for a time, after the execution of his children, he realized their plot. Robert welcomed back his wife and the twins she had birthed while being in exile. A boy and a girl with, and he thanked the Gods for this, the same green eyes and golden hair as their siblings.

Robert Baratheon dedicated his remaining life to be a good father to his children.

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Debt paid

He was about to marry a whore His brother’s widow and maybe murderer. Cersei Lannister, soon to be Baratheon again. He could not believe how by the Gods he had agreed to marry the incestous whore, some parts of him wanted to fight with force, for his right, for his throne. To wipe his realm clean from all the Lannister once and for all. Another war who would bathed his realm in blood again. But he had decided to play Lord Lannister mummer’s farce, despite how much this all cloyed him. Jaime Lannister would leave the Kingsguard and be Tywin’s heir, Tommen and Myrcella no more Baratheon’s prince and princess, but Jaime Lannister’s trueborn children. Lord Tywin’s plan was fantastic, unrealistic…but it had worked out. The deceased Joffrey had been confirmed his brother’s true born son, he still wasn’t that comfortable with this lie, the other two children had been fathered by Jaime and some Marbrand lady, and passed on as Cersei’s and Robert’s spawn. And the tale was that Jaime, once again marked as an oath breaker, had married one of his father’s vassals daughter and had Myrcella and Tommen with her. He’d done this to spare his sister pain, they found enough testimonies who saw the queen’s bruises and heard how Robert talked about her unwillingness in bed. Jaime fathered the children, this way Robert wouldn’t abuse his wife anymore, grand maestar Pycell helped the twins with their plan.

They had bounded and drugged Jaime Lannister to take him to the Rock, Stannis made sure that he wouldn’t be welcome anymore. The realm may believe this idiocy. He knew very well how rotten the Lannister truly were. The future mother of his children. Lord Tywin would clear the debt of the Realm, but he wanted his son as his heir and his daughter as a queen. He could almost believe that Selyse’s death had been his doing, but he couldn’t prove anything, he didn’t want to know anything. House Baratheon and House Lannister would join again. He wouldn’t rule a bankrupt Kingdom. His pride would be hurt, but House Baratheon would rule. Tommen had cried, he couldn’t accept that Cersei wasn’t his mother anymore, he pleaded he would try to be more like Joffrey if Cersei would keep him. Cersei hadn’t cried, but she wasn’t her radiant self anymore. Tommen would live at Casterly Rock with his father and his ‘mother’, Myrcella should be sent away too, but she was Shireen best friend and a big help. So he allowed Myrcella of House Lannister to stay at the Red Keep. He didn’t do this for her. He wouldn’t beat her or rape her, but he would never forget that he was marrying a dangerous beast.

Their first son had blond hair. This bewildered him. He had been sure that a Baratheon couldn’t be fair haired. Shireen and Myrcella loved little Steffon dearly. The same love they gave Durran and later Lyonel. After their third son he hadn’t touched his wife anymore. He was sure she didn’t resent him, like he was sure she would be glad to get rid of him. She hadn’t had any power since Joffrey’s death, she had lost her lover, her beloved children and had to bear his children. His conscience was clean, he hadn’t bedded her more as he should. He hadn’t done any of the disgusting things Robert would have done. She suffered for not being able to see her twin, something about a bond she told him, asking to visit the Rock with the children, something he had never allowed. Their bond must have been more real than he had given her credit for. The twins died within a few hours from another. He didn’t marry again, he had three sons and he was just fine. It bothered him how two from his three boys had their mother’s golden hair. He had been so sure!