[demiintergender]

hi! im star, im kind of new to intersex stuff, i didnt really know i was intersex until a couple years ago, so im still learning a lot!

im physically disabled/chronically ill, autistic, and adhd. im also a DID system (star is a collective name, its not an alter ^^)

i follow from @/dunkindoenuts (id prefer to keep these blogs seperate atm, since im not really openly intersex online)

id love to follow more intersex ppl, so interact w this post and ill check out your blog! ^^

quick dni, id prefer if endos dont interact (i dont care about syscourse, this is for personal reasons), and for this blog specifically id rather perisex people dont interact as well

[status-quo-hater]

Perisex trans people who say "all trans people are intersex because we have male/female brains in a female/male body so we fit the definition of intersex because we have naturally mixed sex traits" are a lot like able-bodied neurodivergent people who argue "mental disabilities ARE physical disabilities because the brain is part of your body! Neurobiology is a real field of science. Is the brain not a real physical organ?" much to the annoyance of actually physically disabled people.

[status-quo-hater]

Good tags!

This idea that all trans people are inherently intersex completely flattens the ACTUALLY intersex trans people trying to talk about the intersection of their intersexuality with their trans identity and how one can influence the other.

[living-history-lesson]

Image ID: tags reading as follows: Of course. There are instances where these groups overlap. sometimes intersex people's gender identities take their mixed sex characteristics into play and they don't id with binary gender. sometimes disabilities stemming from the brain cause symptoms affecting mobility. but tbh I don't think any of you people (not op) are self aware enough to have those conversations yet /end ID

[aropride]

this post is so bad my jaw actually dropped. like. yes being trans and going thru the wrong puberty is often incredibly traumatic. that is not the same as the intentional and widespread medical abuse against intersex people (especially children). irreversible medically unnecessary often physically harmful and psychologically harmful+traumatizing hormone treatment and surgeries are not the same as having to go through natal puberty, which is also often traumatizing, but it is different. and you know damn well that is not what intersex people are talking about when they talk about forced medical intervention and abuse. it is not the same thing at all. & this is such an obviously intentional misinterpretation of what intersex activists have been talking about.

[status-quo-hater]

Yeah you don't get to have your name censored

[status-quo-hater]

I'm going to end up on the news one of these days

[status-quo-hater]

On a serious note, I cannot fathom the cognitive dissonance it requires to support the mutilation of intersex children. Its no different than cutting off a kid's fingers because you think they look better without them.

[status-quo-hater]

The rational part of my brain knows why people believe this. It's been normalized so deeply that it isn't recognized as violence. The rational side of me knows that. But I just.. I sometimes have trouble believing these are normal everyday people when I see it so blatantly on an individual level. Its sobering. This could be my neighbor, my family, my coworker, my doctor. It's sobering to think so many people believe I should've had my crotch cut open with scalpels and reconstructed to look "normal" as a child, without my consent.

[sparrowsarecool]

Don't leave this in the tags!

[status-quo-hater]

STOP SAYING HERMAPHRODITE

[status-quo-hater]

"But I'm not talking about humans I'm tal-" I DON'T CARE SHUT UP

[demiintergender]

this isnt about intersex stuff i just want to vent a bit

how on earth do i tell my friends to stop saying shit like "decisions paralysis" or "bedrotting" and shit like that. i am so bad with confrontation but it genuinely makes me so upset and idk how to bring it uppp. i dont think theyd respond badly i just dont know how to say it in a way that wont sound angry? i guess?

anyways whatever

actually small vent abt intersex stuff i saw someone w an open species say they were "either male or female (sometimes intersex but thats uncommon)" and the "uncommon" was highlighted and was. the only highlighted word in the entire thing and it was so fucking weird im so tired intersex is not a third gender hggjgh

[cinimuffin]

[status-quo-hater]

I have a feeling I was manually marked red with shinigami eyes, considering the sheer amount of people who have marked me green has not changed me to display as trans-friendly. And, considering this, I can confidently say that the reason this was done was solely to silence my voice as an intersex activist, by intersexists who run the extension. And it's worked, considering my engagement has severely tanked since the mark was applied. I have not said anything anti-trans. Feel free to scour my post history, you will not find a single anti-trans post. I have actively fought for trans rights, I volunteer irl, I go to and help organize marches and rallies, I believe in liberation for the sex variant. Regardless of whatever intercommunity discourse caused me to be marked red, that is a fact.

I do a lot fucking more for the trans community than the example on their website. I actually do the work, I educate people, I do public speaking, I talk about the struggles faced by the trans community, I am in contact with my local queer advocacy groups and I do quite literally everything in my power to educate about both trans & intersex issues in real life. As in, I actually talk to people and don't rot in my bed all fucking day. I do this activism in addition to working two jobs, sometimes up to 70 hours a week depending on scheduling. I do this stuff because I LOVE MY COMMUNITY. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. I LOVE TO IMAGINE A FUTURE WHERE WE ARE ALLOWED TO EXIST.

But no, I guess I deserve to be ostracised and silenced because I had the audacity to... Let's see.. acknowledge the material reality of trans men, as reported to me by trans men? Talk about intersexism from perisex trans people? Condemn community infighting? Advocate for letting queer people speak for themselves and not yelling over other groups? Not believe any trans people have male/cis privilege? Not believe in 'AMAB privilege' or 'AFAB privilege'? Voice my thoughts about how demonizing certain groups of queer people is bad? Being inclusive of queer Identities that are difficult to taxonomize? Having a weird relationship with my cis/trans status due to being intersex? Yeah, all of these sound comparable to this.

No wait, I see it. It's because I think misgendering nonbinary people and calling them 'theyfabs' is in fact, bad. And intersex people regardless of AGAB can do whatever the fuck they want to express their lived experience. Yes, including being transfeminine 'despite' originally being assigned female. The devs are showing their entire ass for that one, refusing to acknowledge the fact that "AFAB transfem" is not a label but rather an intersex lived experience which was co-opted by TERFs and turned into a troll dogwhistle. Instead of attacking the co-opting, perisex trans people have decided to just group intersex people in with TERFs. The same thing happened with cistrans and other intersex experiences/identities, I wonder when they'll come for transfemmasc, considering, you know every transfemmasc intersex person is by nature of being both transfem and transmasc & having an AGAB is either AFAB & transfem or AMAB and transmasc. I wish people would stop believing TERFs when they talk shit about us, co-opt our language and experiences, and attempt to speak for our community. Do you know how many times I've heard "but I thought intersex people didn't want to be included in the queer community" from a trans person in real life? Too fucking many! and do you know where that comes from? That's right! TERFs! This asinine lie is actually what caused me to start talking with my local queer advocacy group about intersex inclusion; they were contacted by a little-known TERF group which claimed the intersex-inclusive flag was offensive, and urged them to take it down. Infuriatingly, they listened, having no intersex people to consult about it. So I changed that.

This extension being used to create rifts in the community is something I saw people predict when I first started using it, right when it came out a few years ago. I had a lot more hope in my heart that this wouldn't happen, but you know. Humans will be humans.

Everyone who has the extension, you can leave a review about its potential for misuse and developer bias; don't just give it 1 star and leave the review blank, as then it looks like bigots review-bombing it. Chrome web store link:

Shinigami Eyes - Chrome Web Store

Highlights transphobic/anti-LGBT and trans-friendly subreddits/users/facebook pages/groups with different colors.

Firefox version:

Shinigami Eyes – Get this Extension for 🦊 Firefox (en-US)

Download Shinigami Eyes for Firefox. Highlights transphobic/anti-LGBT and trans-friendly subreddits/facebook pages/groups with different col

Due to my engagement being severely cut because of this, I feel this post would be a good one to add a little reminder that reblogs help immensely <3

[isopods-in-my-mouth]

Sharing this here because it's important people are aware this is happening. Shinigami eyes is being used to mark intersex, transmasc, and nonbinary people as anti-trans simply for talking about our lived experiences and the discrimination we face.

This isn't just people misusing the extension either. The guidelines for marking someone red are explicitly intersexist. The extension itself is designed to be used this way.

This extension is being used to divide the trans community and erase intersex identities and experiences. If you currently use it please reconsider whether it's worth the very real harm being done to our already extremely vulnerable communities.

[redtail-lol]

They did not fucking compare theyfab to transmed/truscum as a term. One of those terms is derogatory against AFAB non-binary people. One of them is denoting exclusionists. What

[status-quo-hater]

Its VERY telling that the devs believe transmed is an insult tbh...

[intersexcat-tboy]

It's like saying TERF is an insult when it's literally what they call themselves. Don't forget "binary trans woman" is equivalent to theyfab as well, according to devs

[hiiragi7]

If you genuinely think intersex people are safer or more widely accepted than trans people, you do not know anything about intersex people. Being so incredibly blind to intersex oppression that you would say things like that (especially if you're someone who gets defensive over it when intersex people try to educate you) makes you a poor ally to intersex people and actively feeds into silencing our oppression and sweeping it under the rug.

Telling people you have a sex variation or a hormonal condition is not safer than telling people you are trans. It is callous to attempt to use us as a shield and then claim it doesn't harm anyone. So many of those in the queer and trans community know nothing about intersex oppression or how we are being killed too and it hurts.

I am both intersex and trans. These communities are siblings. Watching one sacrifice and then neglect the other over and over pains me. We are siblings, yet you use the intersex community when you think it suits you, and then you are silent when intersex people are screaming for our rights and for help. We have been fighting our oppression all this time, and it feels so often as though we are doing it alone. It especially hurts when the trans community, the sibling to the intersex community, claims the great harm we are facing either does not exist or that it is "not nearly as bad as what the trans community faces". Or, worse, erases us entirely by calling us "cis people with a disorder" rather than intersex.

When you claim to be intersex "for safety", you actively participate in erasing the unsafety we as intersex people face every day. Claiming you are intersex is no safer than being trans, and when you say it is safer, you erase how my community is being slaughtered, the laws that are pushed against us, the intersex babies that are mutilated at birth, the constant harassment, the high risk of sexual assault or violence when someone learns you're intersex, the medical malpractice and forced medical procedures, the way we are isolated socially, the insults, the mockery, the fetishization, and so on, and so on, and so on.

I understand the need to feel safe as an oppressed minority. However, saying that you are intersex "for safety" is not actually any safer at all. And when you claim it is, it harms my community. It works against the visibility of intersex issues that we have been trying to bring up for decades.

The harsh reality is that there is no way to be completely safe as a queer person in this world as it is right now. Telling others that intersex people have it better is a lie. We are all unsafe, all oppressed. Whatever illusion of safety you get from the lie that intersex people have it better is not worth the damage it does to intersex activism.

[status-quo-hater]

If you're running like an etsy shop or something and you're selling pride stuff for every letter in the acronym (& more) becides intersex, you are intersexist. Period.

That's purposeful exclusion. If you'll include the A why won't you include the I in LGBTQIA+. Doubly so if you have options beyond the base acronym. If your pins have an option for like, an abrosexual or a xenogender flag or something; you did not just 'forget' about intersex people. You chose not to include us.

[status-quo-hater]

Ace/aro inclusion (or any inclusion really) is not at the expense of intersex people!

I just was pointing out how it's VERY odd (intersexist) so many shops flat-out skip a whole letter in the acronym and the A just happens to be right after the letter they skipped.

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

I'll never forget when @mushroomyhouse released pride flag washi tape with the Italian flag for the i and the queer community on tumblr ate that shit up. Intersex people are a joke to so many of yall.

The blatant erasure is violent.

[status-quo-hater]

I have a question. Would saying things like “I hit puberty late” as a response to people’s comments on my appearance (looking much younger than I am) still be considered lying about being intersex? Like, is that a type of intersex condition? Because it’s technically true, seeing as I started my HRT second puberty later in life. I don’t want to be disrespectful though.

Yes it's technically true, but ask yourself what the intention of the statement is; what are you intending for people to believe about you? -> That you are a cis person whose natal puberty was atypical (which would be intersex).

This is another attempt to mislead people into believing you have an intersex variation, even if you don't outright say it. I would recommend just not saying anything about it to cis people. If someone asks why your voice is high or why you look a certain way, just tell them that's a weird fucking thing to say to someone.

[ugly-anarchist]

Im sorry but just because *some* categories of intersex people are in danger if they disclose that fact to a doctor, etc, doesn’t mean that having a slight hormone imbalance puts you in as much danger as admitting you’re trans to that same doctor. You’re trying to universalize exorsexism’s effects on all intersex people while also making the category as broad as possible, and the end result based on your arguments is that you want trans perisex people to put ourselves in danger out of some kind of noble selflessness. Sorry, but sometimes it really is materially safer if I just say “I don’t menstruate for hormonal reasons” than “I don’t menstruate because I’m a trans woman” when asked by a nurse, and it’s upsetting to me that you’d frame any trans woman who protects herself that way as somehow exorsexist

The fact that you're calling intersexism exorsexism is really telling.

You do realize that doctors especially are prone to enacting violence on intersex bodies right? You do know that plenty of intersex people (myself included) were forced/coerced into hormones to "fix" our intersex variations, right?

It's not about moral selflessness, you're just denying intersexism, making it seem like less of a problem, and implying that trans people are in more danger than intersex people. You are not. Intersexism is a very severe issue and victims of it often don't make it out unscathed.

Like one of the main perpetuators of intersexism are medical providers. It's 100% safer to disclose your trans status to a doctor than it is to disclose the fact that you're intersex. There are doctors who are accepting of being trans and even specific doctors that provide medical care to trans people. But currently, the main way to deal with intersex people that is accepted and encouraged in the medical field is to treat our bodies as disordered. 99% of doctors either don't know the word intersex or actively refuse to use it and are more than willing to coerce you into taking hormones to fix you.

You do realize that these nurses you are lying about being intersex to fully believe your body is disordered and needs to be fixed, right? You're opening yourself up to so much potential shit because there's doctors who will refuse to treat you unless you accept the "treatment" they've offered for your disorder they assume you have. There's also doctors who will 100% just straight up fucking lie to you and prescribe you medication and not tell you the real effects of said medication, specifically so they can trick you into mutilating your body for the sake of adhering to the sex binary.

Like, for fucks sake, how many times do intersex people have to say "please stop saying we have it better than perisex trans people" for you people to get it through your heads? How many times do I have to recite and explain the violence done to our bodies until you listen?

[satellites-halo]

I love you intersex people. If you're intersex you have to stay alive.

[status-quo-hater]

Whenever someone (who is not a doctor or a close friend) asks me what traits I have that make me intersex I answer "all of them" because I am intersex and therefore all my traits are intersex traits. I'll start rattling off body parts I have if I'm feeling like it. I don't specify which ones are incongruous with my AGAB because it's irrelevant.

Most of the time this is a probing question intended to pinpoint my variation and from there assume my AGAB. Especially when I am speaking publicly on intersex matters and being aggressively transvestigated. I will never give up this information, as there is no reason for other people to know this. This information is only capable of harming me if it becomes known to the wrong person.

[demiintergender]

saw a post abt the term disparium and also exparium and. man. those kinda fit but do they also include like. noncis and nontrans? ik technically i can just have them mean whatever i want them to bc labels are for yourself etc etc BUT. idk. i also kinda want them mixed together but idk how that works. disexparium sounds fun like. in a stimmy way lol. but idkkk

once again i am struggling w my gender irt being intersex smh

[ugly-anarchist]

I don't think you're a trans ally until you accept trans people who don't want to transition. And I don't just mean medically.

I mean trans men who look indistinguishable from cis women and trans women who look indistinguishable from cis men and they're happy like that. Who have no intention of changing their style, presentation, or even pronouns.

Some women don't look like the stereotypical idea of "woman" and it's the same for men. But they're still men and women. I need you to understand that gender has no bearing on appearance and people's comfort in their own bodies is more important than the fictional idea of what manhood and womanhood looks like.

And, yes, some people can't transition due to disability or funds or whatever and they're included in this, yes. But you need to accept people who don't want to either. Who willingly make the choice to not transition in any way because that's how they're the most comfortable.

A trans person who doesn't transition is just as much their gender as anyone else of that same gender. Please get that through your head.

To any trans men who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a man. You've always been a man. You will always be a man.

To any trans women who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a woman. You've always been a woman. You will always be a woman.

The way your body looks doesn't matter in the slightest, your gender is real and legitimate and valid regardless of any other factors.

[rjalker]

made with speech to text and I'm not fixing the goddamn typos you can all figure it out

This post is also relevant to nonbinary people and the OP has decided to get extremely upset about somebody gently saying this in the notes instead of just saying yeah I should have mentioned nonbinary people, because this post is literally not fucking exclusive to binary trans people.

And it's literally just exordexism to pretend that this is only an issue that binary trans people face and deal with.

Non-binary people are constantly ignored and erased when people are talking about trans issues, this post and the topics it deal with are not in any shape or form exclusive to binary trans people, the only reason non-binary people aren't mentioned is because of x or sexism. Opie, you're being non-binary does not make this apparently purposeful exclusion of non-binary people from this post any less bigoted, and I was going to fucking ignore it until I saw your absolute fucking flip out in the notes from somebody literally just saying don't forget non-binary people.

If you are making posts about trans people, literally just put in 2 seconds of effort to remember that non-binary people besides yourself exist. That we exist. Almost every single fucking post about trans people on this website is always about binary trans people, and yes you are in fact directly contributing to the erasure of non-binary people by not mentioning us on this post that also applies to us just as much as it does binary trans people. It doesn't matter that you are also non-binary, that just means you should know better.

Not every post on this website needs to apply to everyone, and that's literally not what anyone is fucking arguing, but this post is literally applicable to all trans people, and it is literally x or sexism to not mention non-binary people. It literally fucking is. And if you are more upset by somebody literally just gently saying don't forget non-binary people then you are the fact that you wrote this whole fucking post and didn't mention non-binary people once, I don't know what to fucking tell you You're just extra sexist and contributing to extra sexism that is rampant on this website.

If the post is talking about a topic that is exclusively dealing with something that only binary trans people face, then sure go ahead and do what the fuck ever but there are hundreds of posts on this website that talk about issues that all trans people face like this one that make no mention of non-binary people at all because people are extra sexist, and you are not magically excluded from being extra sexist because you are also non-binary

Your response to the person in the notes just gently asking people not to forget that we fucking exist is you being extra sexist. All you had to do was say yeah you're right. But you instead flip out and pretend like it's a fucking hate crime for somebody to ask you to include non-binary people in your posts about trans issues that affect literally all of us. You are acting like non-binary people are just demanding absolute perfection and all of this bullshit by literally somebody just asking don't forget non-binary people. In a post you made about trans issues that affect all of us where you only mentioned binary trans people

If you want to actually fight extra sexism and transmisia, you do have to put in the fucking effort to remember that non-binary people exist, yes, even if you fucking are one. Because your response to that person's simple fucking statement is completely over the top and is literally just extra sexism.

You do not get to act like non-binary people are just demanding so much impossibility and so much impossible difficult things by literally having somebody to say don't forget non-binary people on the post that literally applies to all trans people and you fucking did not mention non-binary people once.

All you had to do was say yeah you're right. And just edit the post or add every blog that says and this also applies to non-binary people too. That's literally all you had to fucking do. But no. You just had to go and be a fucking exorsexist acting like it's an impossible demand to include non-binary people and act like you being non-binary makes this behavior okay somehow.

And yeah in the replies the OP literally says that this post is explicitly not about non-binary people at all and doesn't apply to non-binary people so I guess we don't deserve the same basic respect as binary trans people! Cool. Great. So fun.

Sarcasm: the way to be a trans ally is to be aggressively fucking against non-binary people being acknowledged at all in conversations that affect all trans people.

[ugly-anarchist]

I never said that this problem only applies to binary trans people, just that this post was about the treatment of binary trans people. I didn't mention nonbinary people because, while the sentiment itself also applies to nonbinary people, this post was about the treatment of the categories of "man" and "woman" specifically and how people react to binary trans people who don't want to transition. Like, again, just because the sentiment also applies to nonbinary people doesn't mean that it's the same situation. Like the way non-transitioning nonbinary people are treated (in my experience as one) is different than the way binary trans people are treated for not transitioning. Not better or worse, just different. They're two different topics that deserve their own post, imo. It's not a crime to not mention nonbinary people in every single post that mentions trans people.

Also, all I said was that it was rude and annoying for people to constantly go "don't forget about nonbinary people" when that just was not the topic of the post and I'm a non-transitioning nonbinary person. It's frustrating as hell constantly having people try to "correct" my posts with things that they think I should have added or should have talked about instead while completely missing the point of the post.

Are people just not allowed to talk about specific things? Do I have to make an addendum every time I post that says "hey this also applies to XYZ group" or whatever? Can I seriously not just make a statement like the original post without people doing... This? Really?

"Piss on the poor" and "so you hate waffles" ass website ffs

[ugly-anarchist]

Too many people use the excuse of "protecting themselves" when they defend lying about being intersex to cis people and just....

You do realize intersex people are discriminated against, right? What you're implying when you say that is that intersex people do not face public discrimination or violence. Which is an extremely intersexist thing to say because you're denying our experiences.

Intersex people are just as likely to face violence and discrimination in public as trans people are. People do not like us. Your assumption that you're safer if people think you're intersex instead of trans is not only based in intersexism but it will get you killed.