@demizorua - Tumblr Blog

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if i like your post, i promise it's going to get reblogged later!! i use likes to collect things for later, and then shove them all into my queue, so it Will get reblogged i promise!!

(if applicable!! not like. personal posts and the like! that's just showing support or whatever)

#making this post and pinning it bc i keep feeling REALLY bad about this #i promise i don't only like things!!! i just wanna add tags and sometimes commentary and often don't have the spoons!!#zorua.txt

astriiformes

Been thinking today about where some of the wires get crossed when aro and/or ace people talk about wanting more low-to-no romance stories and other, allo queer folks get mad at us for it--because while some of it is just plain hatred of aspec folks, I'm absolutely willing to consider that some of it is more unintentional lateral striking out--and I think I'm stumbling into something I want to articulate. Not that it's an entirely new thought, or even something I've never considered before, but something I haven't quite framed this way in the past.

Because, like, okay. It's 2026. There's rising queerphobia of all stripes--which is undeniably one reason I'm thinking about the lateral violence of it all, and we'll circle back to that--but the media environment of today does still makes it more possible than ever before to find and enjoy queer fiction. And this is critical to what I'm about to say next, so I hope those of us that grew up in times where that was not true can sort of table our thoughts on what things were like when we were kids.

My point it, if I'm an adult who isn't in the closet (and even if I am in the closet, plausible deniability is higher than it was pre-2010 or so!), I can go see a gay movie. I can go buy a gay book. There are members of the community, like kids/teens or people in unsafe situations that might not have that freedom, but at the very least, finding the gay media isn't the hard part for anyone. Heated Rivalry is one of the biggest TV shows of the year (and the books that it's based off have since seen a huge jump in popularity, too), queer romantasy is flourishing, and even classic queer media is getting revamped (pun intended) in series like the Interview With the Vampire TV series. And if, for whatever reason, none of the current professional stuff is doing it for you, Ao3 has approximately 8.4 million M/M stories and 1.7 F/F stories--which isn't the greatest ratio for the femslash fans, but is still nothing to sneeze at. And that's not even getting into the many gay podcasts and audio dramas, self-published books, comics (indie and otherwise), and other, nicher options. Long story short, if you only want to watch, read, or listen to media with prominent gay characters in it, you can establish a very healthy media diet, with everything from fun, trashy romance to acclaimed TV miniseries to weird podcasts to RPG actual plays, and everything in-between. This has very much not always been the case, so it's really cool we're here!

As an aro/ace person I... can't do that with stories about people like me. Like I really, seriously can't do that. I guess if I was content to enjoy less media, maybe, but I love stories, which I'm sure a lot of people on this website can relate to. And I love participating in fandom, too, so sometimes I do want to be into something that's big enough for me to chat about it with other people, or get more than a handful of kudos on my fanfic. So at the end of the day I don't limit myself, and that's honestly a good thing! It's great to be into things about characters who don't exactly share your identities, too.

But like. This year I've bought* exactly one book with an actual, canonically aro and/or ace character in it--the short story collection Tales From the Folly, which is a part of the Rivers of London series and features the aro/ace character Thomas Nightingale. (*I say bought, because I'm yet to actually read it--I'm sorry, Thomas!). That's it. I've enjoyed various other stories, but as far as ones with people like me go, I've gotten my hands on exactly one. And it's not for a lack of trying! There just... hasn't been much on my radar. This is a huge reason I've gotten so excited about Project Hail Mary recently--it doesn't have any canonically queer characters, and the original author definitely didn't intend to write the main character in a way that resonated with so many aro/aces. But it's a story without any canonical romance of any kind, where as a result, I can watch a fun movie and pretend for a little bit that Ryland Grace is like me. There are so few aro/ace characters that most of what we get. Playing pretend.

This is where I think some of the wires are getting crossed. When people hear someone like me say "I'm really exhausted by all the emphasis on romance and shipping in fandom," I think what some of you are hearing--because it's historically been true, and we're at a scary time in the world where it feels more and more like it's threatening to become true again--is "I want there to be fewer gay stories." When what I'm really saying is "I want there to be more aro/ace stories--or at least stories where I can pretend the main character is like me." And to even further hamper understanding, when aro and/or ace folks say we want stories about people like us and we hear other, allo queers object, what we aspecs often hear is "I think people like you aren't worth telling stories about"--even though many of you have valid reasons for liking the stories that you do, too.

I think that those of us who belong to older generations (especially millennials and above) can all probably relate to what aspecs are experiencing here on some level. There was a point in time where gay books were extremely limited, and gay characters in TV and movies were unheard of. Even as things crept in a more progressive direction, the Bury Your Gays tropes meant not everyone could enjoy the stories those characters showed up in. That was really hard for a lot of people, and I never, ever want us to go back to that. But I do think it's important to acknowledge that gay media just isn't at that point right now. Media with actual aro/ace characters in it.... kind of still is. It's different, because society is in a very different place, and also cishet people have historically demonized aromantic and asexual people with very different tropes--the heartless villain incapable of love, the cold lover that the protagonist abandons to be happy with someone else, the boring stuck-up prude, etc. And there are people, especially in the indie sphere, who are making some good stuff. But at the end of the day, I have a lot fewer choices than you do. Which is why it really hurts to get told that my headcanons and readings of canon--which are most of what I have--are actually problematic.

Anyway. None of this is groundbreaking. It's been said before, by people more eloquent and more persuasive than me, and it'll probably be said again. It just feels worth reiterating, considering some of the blowback I've been getting to expressing this sentiment. Because I really do think a lot of us want the same thing--for everyone to be able to enjoy whatever kind of stories they like most about people like them. (Without losing sight of the fact that media can be a great way to understand the experiences of people of other experiences, of course). When the scales are so unequally weighted, however, it gets really messy to talk about.

So instead of projecting our own fears and insecurities onto each other and letting them dominate the conversation--let's actually talk about it.

astriiformes

Pulling these tags out because I think they further articulate some of the points I was trying to make here really well:

#There definitely is a suspicion and resentment towards the idea that stories with No Romance are valuable#because many many people hear ‘there shouldn’t be all this gay shit’#And then they treat you like that’s what you said#Treating stories without romance—or with main ace and aro characters—as a cowardly in-between step#between Straight Media and Gay Media#as if they just weren’t brave enough to make it Actually Gay#rather than welcoming it as something with real value in itself#And yeah it comes from real fear because there ARE a lot of conservatives in the world saying there shouldn’t be all this gay shit#but then there are people who treat this as the ONLY thing anybody is saying so anything that reminds them even a little bit of that#is suspicious. And a lot of those people haven’t fully shaken off the 2014 attitude that aces and aros are Just Straight People Really#It’s rooted in real fear but then it turns into uncalled-for viciousness about their fellow queer people who are Being Queer Wrong#I also think… there’s a lot of fear that someone who is very similar to you but reached a different conclusion is Judging You#by a lot of people self conscious about their place in society#That causes a Lot of the lateral cruelty between ace people and gay people (via @specialagentartemis)

patronsaint-ofthedenial

I haven't seen project hail mary but i am pretty sure markiplier was not in that movie

janglebob

Tragedies of the Labyrinth

Icarus & the Minotaur

shino-dgs

2026.7.7 Enjoy the show!

#YAYYYY TURNABOUT SERENADE DAY #aa

decompose1

dude i don't normally like to dig at peoples fun i generally think people having fun is good but it is slightly disheartening when there's a really really good story about a strong platonic relationship and then the only thing the fans can do is ship the characters or worse make a crack ship with an unrelated character from another media because it's like they can't STAND a lack of romance in media like they absolutely must try to insert romance where it is absolutely not needed or relevant and honestly sours the story/media a lot more for me or they'll Die because they can't just be happy with a really good platonic relationship. it makes me very sad as a demiromantic girlie.

decompose1

reblogging with this edition because yeah no this has been bothering the fuck out of me too hey if you're so intent on shipping. whyyyy do you feel the need to make a crackship with a dude from a completely different movie :o)? when there is a man in phm who grace has a good friendship and good chemistry with :o)? could it be. that there's a reason you have discounted Carl as a possible partner for Grace :o)? hey. what would that reason be :o)? just curious :o)

decompose1

You completely missed the point of this post.

1) I don't think PHM needs shipping at all. In fact, i don't really like seeing it. It's not about romance, it's about a Deeply Meaningful Platonic Relationship and i think making up some dude for Grace to swoon over does a massive disservice to the story lmao

2) MARKIPLIER IS NOT IN THE BOOK EITHER SO THIS EXCUSE IS FUCKING CRAZY 😭?? Like by arguing it's because Carl Isn't In The Book you shoot youreelf in the foot bc iron lung is. a completely different piece of media.

3) My point is that not only is the shipping annoying as fuck in a piece of media that is very much about a platonic relationship- something that is really rare BECAUSE of this weird need to make everything about romantic relationships, which is deeply unfair to those on the aro spectrum, who should get to enjoy something more like their life every now and then- but if you Must shoehorn in romance, then it's TRANSPARENTLY racist to see all these people who very obviously got into this from the movie deciding to fully ignore the Black character Grace has a great relationship with to ship him with A NonBlack Guy From Another Fucking Movie. do you see what i'm saying

4) Making the argument that people of color will just get mad at you for anything no matter what you do and you can never win or whatever is also racist when i'm saying directly what the problem is 😭

also wtf is the "why are you as a demiromantic girlie complaining" shit IM COMPLAINING BECAUSE IM ON THE ARO SPECTRUM AND THINK THIS SUCKS..??

zmpl

before we start posting that july is gay wrath month let’s consider that july is disability pride month first and foremost. the “be gay do crimes” memes can wait

zmpl

before this post breaches containment and people start going “why not both hehehe” i want you to seriously consider the very long history of disabled people’s existence being pushed aside and/or seen as secondary. i promise you it’s not going to hurt to hold onto the memes and give disabled people space for visibility and celebration.

i say this as a disabled trans person whose trans identity is made front-and-center to the (mainly cis) people who know i’m trans but my identity as a disabled person is brushed off by the very same people.

this-is-trans-joy

I have answered a few asks about TADC because I know how important transfem Jax has been to a lot of people, and I don’t want to take that away from anyone, but I am very critical of the use of the song “Isn’t She Lovely?” being reclaimed as a coming out scene, when the original song was written by a Black man about the birth of his Black daughter. Keeping in mind the racism from some of the voice actors, and the lukewarm apology from the creator, it is very insidious to me to take a Black-specific song and reclaim it as something else. It very much feels like “taking Black art without caring about the bodies that made it.”

Obviously, this has already been pointed out by Black people in the fandom, but I wanted to bring it up because I’ve had a few asks about that song specifically that I’m not comfortable with answering. I am extremely happy that Jax is canonically transfem because even though I’ve never watched the show, I’ve witnessed people’s excitement about it, and I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade, but I’m also not going to pretend like the racism doesn’t exist because that’s not the kind of blog I’m running here. Any other song could’ve been used, and perhaps there wasn’t much thought put into its choice; I’m sure it wasn’t a deliberate act of malice, because from an outsider perspective that song seems to fit perfectly, but that ultimately doesn’t make it any less harmful, especially given the context surrounding the production.

I feel similarly about how United In Grief by Kendrick Lamar became a popular TikTok sound for people to make funny jokes about something going wrong when the original lyrics are specifically about Black grief. Or about the new trend of “the saxaphones are getting louder” taken from Boyz N The Hood, which is a movie about Black-American experiences that a lot of (white) people using this sound likely haven’t even seen.

I’m not saying it’s inherently bad to use these songs in different contexts, but it’s a pattern that keeps repeating of Black-specific art being taken by white people without the original context in mind and being used for their own experiences instead. It’s important to at least notice this pattern.

this-is-trans-joy

#and frankly… #the fact that it wasn’t an intentionally malice decision IS racism in itself #because even though the song is by a Black singer his thoughts and emotions he put into the lyrics were not taken into consideration #people don’t *usually* just write music just to write it. music is emotionally charged. hence using music in such a big scene #… but they DID NOT CONSIDER him or his daughter because they are Black

Prev tags, you’re right and this is also extremely important to bring up

dankmemeuniversity

iamoutofideas

hlvrvredux

Dr. Harold: Why don't you come up here with the rest of us? No use in being alone down there!

Doc: I'm coming! WAIT FOR ME!

[Doc frantically opens the exit doors to the test chamber. There's quite a bit of distance still between the chamber and that little room, and as Doc runs, she slows down. Her footsteps get more steady- afraid.]

[He's done a lot of terrible things to get here. Ruthless, calculated manipulation of a group of people in pain. Letting in a father that a son should have never seen again.]

[Burning down their chances. Making their worlds worse.]

[Would his family still accept him?]

[Would they accept the monster he's become?]

[All of a sudden... he's in less of a hurry to face them.]

#THE HADESTOWN NOOOOOOOOOOO #hlvrai #hlvrv

tangerineseed

coolskeleton80085

deltarune tomorrow

#oh this is so pretty woagh #deltarunetomorrow......#utdr

heilos

So this is a big celebration set of fake screenshots I've been working on since Legends of Avantris hit the 15 million stretch goal to bring Starlight Brigade to the Neon Odyssey D&D books next year as a mini campaign! It's also a fun hypothetical headcanon idea of how Strive, Pyke and the Rhapsody crew could possibly meet. I'm imagining Strive unwillingly separated from the rest of the brigade/twrp crew, somehow ending up in the Rhapsody's neck of the galaxy and soon after being pursued by space pirates while dodging and weaving to escape. Pyke then takes off in his ship, the Sparrow, to engage in the coolest combat scenario in my head as Strive's ship doesn't have any weapons to fight back with. You should totally check out the music videos with these characters and maybe even watch a really cool D&D campaign too :)

Starlight Brigade Neon Odyssey Stardust Rhapsody: Anthem

#YESSSSSS AUUUAUAUAUAGH #i'm still. losing my mind that this actually happened. will happen. good lird.#starlight brigade #god i do not have a good enough memory to have a tagging system #anyways this is awesome