Demon Starfish @demonstarfish - Tumblr Blog

there's no fucking way this man is real.

New Challenge for Pokemon Fans:

Go to this List of Pokemon by Height on Bulbapedia and choose your favorite pokemon who's the same height as you. That's who you'd be if you were a Pokemon!

I'll go first: I'm 4' 11" so I would be... Delphox!

demonstarfish

Galarian Rapidash bitches

transxfiles

lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"

meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction

(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)

we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off

he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"

doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"

[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]

"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool

candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"

ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"

candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"

we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."

the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"

it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.

the court case continues.

meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.

back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.

meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.

isabella gets her fireside girls badge.

candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.

mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.

back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.

roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"

this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.

doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.

perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"

the end.

images-that-are-only-blessed

phillipfancypants

Also: while we’re doing checkpoints, make sure you’re on WiFi and not data

cantsleeplogan-deactivated20200

And unclench your jaw

my-writer-jus-hates-the-clock

If you need to use the bathroom you have to do that now

immrbrightsideeee

Please get that drink of water and remember your meds

luxwing

If you can’t remember the last time you showered/brushed your teeth here’s your sign to try and do those today

toomanyfandoms2name

Set an alarm for tomorrow if you need to!

chickenonabicycle

Your teabag is still seeping. Take it out before your tea becomes cold and bitter.

And take your meds.

Thank GOD it wasn’t one of the ones I like.

#try guys #ned fulmer #I like all except Ned

leoreturns-deactivated20110811

I have been waiting all year to post this.

tumboner

omg

merspers

This has been in my queue for months.

mcgooglykins

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

thatsoundsprettynice

YES

xbstnmnr-deactivated20241116

omg i didnt reblog this last year!

demonstarfish

Gotta reblog

pluckyredhead

Have you read WFA? Sometimes their Jason doesn’t hit right for me but when he does it’s magical

Oh anon, you have unleashed the KRAKEN. I fucking LOVE WFA, and I have a lot of feelings about it that you have given me an excuse to yell about. Please do not think I am yelling at you! I am just VERY EXCITED.

But yeah, I think WFA is a) the best comic DC is publishing right now (alongside The Flash, which is a goddamn miracle every month), and b) the smartest business decision they have made in the two decades I've been reading comics, maybe alongside the kids' and YA graphic novel lines they launched a few years ago. DC has spent so long catering to a dying audience and experiencing an ever-shrinking market share, and with WFA, they actually a) looked at what the largest growth audience was (young, mostly female readers), b) researched where that audience was reading comics (Webtoon and other online sources), and c) HIRED PEOPLE WHO KNEW HOW TO DELIVER COMICS THAT APPEALED TO THAT AUDIENCE. (Contrast with Marvel and DC's embarrassing early 2000s attempts at "manga," or the truly insulting Minx line.)

And the comic itself is so, so good? Not every episode is perfect - they really haven't mastered multi-chapter stories - but the comedic timing is IMPECCABLE, as is the ability to deliver truly an enormous amount of character beats (across a ton of characters!) in an incredibly short format. Every episode has so much episode in it? Incredible, showstopping etc.

I hear what you're saying on the characterization, and I agree with you that Jason doesn't always match up with main continuity Jason, but...he shouldn't. They're completely different genres. Main continuity Batbooks are...noir with strong fantasy and science fiction elements? I mean, they're their own genre, really, but they are dark and often tragic and full of characters who will never stop being their own worst enemies because then the comics would be over. (And then sometimes they're not! There are a lot of Batbooks, they cover a lot of ground tonally.)

But WFA is a comedy about family, and I think the creators have done a brilliant job of translating the canon characterizations to that genre. I'm sure there have been moments occasionally where I was like "Eh, I don't buy it," but by and large I think it's a great translation. (Bruce is the biggest stretch, I'd argue. But I love WFA Bruce, so I'll allow it. I wouldn't want to see him suddenly switch to this characterization in main continuity, but I love it in its place!)

AND THE ART. I love all of the character designs, but Jason and Dick in particular have become my ur-Jason and Dick. Like, all other drawings of those characters are just shadows in Plato's cave, that's what they look like in real life. (Dick's dimples! I die.)

I see a lot of people saying "Well, it's fanon, with fanon characterizations," and...yes, it is absolutely meeting fans where they are, but I have read a bafillion comics, and trust me, WFA is loaded with canon references and Easter eggs. I'm baffled by this immediate kneejerk reaction I see sometimes to dismiss it as being just for girls a certain type of fan? Yes, there's a target audience, but this incredibly talented team also knows their shit.

(I mean, yes, I read every single main continuity Tim Drake appearance last year, and out of 1480 comics - that is not an exaggeration - I can think of exactly one instance of him drinking coffee, and WFA called him a coffee addict in his first appearance. But that was fucking funny.)

Again, I hope you don't think I'm arguing with you - you just gave me an excuse to talk about some stuff I've been noodling over lately! But yeah, the key thing about WFA is that it is a comedy - a really really good one! - and I think that explains most of the discrepancies between it and main continuity more than anything else, certainly more than the cast being necessarily OOC.

But yeah also WFA Jason is really, really hot.

angelicbabydolll

people from ireland can not be ugly, every irish person is hot

As a person who lives in Ireland I can tell you that’s not true.

demonstarfish

As someone who dated an Irish person; I can confirm that @angelicbabydolll is correct

muirin007

“Victorians were stuffy prudes.”

frenchfrysplash

PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PEOPLE

bairnsidhe

Victorian Photographer: Okay, we have another ten minutes on your session, so lets do a silly one!

Victorians: Oh good, the silly ones are fun! PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE.

violetwolfraven

So I just had a thought

What if supernatural creatures don’t exist anymore? What if they did once, but through the years, they slowly mixed in with humans?

You can see the blood of fairies in the way a ballet dancer hovers in mid air before he or she hits the ground. You can see it in the way that middle school girl never forgets when someone makes her a promise. You can see it in how that one little boy in the kindergarten class seems more comfortable in the forest on that field trip than the others.

You can see the blood of dryads in hikers who never trip over roots. You can see it in that suburban grandmother never lets any of her garden die. You can see it in that one kid who climbs a tree faster than his friends, barely looking at the branches as he goes.

You can see the blood of naiads in the way a professional swimmer seems to command the water to help them. You can see it in how a cross country runner needs a water break more often than his teammates. You can see it in the way that one girl in your class always has a water bottle on her desk.

You can see the blood of mermaids in a surfer who can be tossed around underwater for a long time without drowning. You can see it in a teenage boy who doesn’t have to pretend to be unbothered by the pressure when he races his friends to the bottom of a swimming pool. You can see it in the little girl who wades into every stream she sees on a hike without quite knowing why.

You can see the blood of sirens in people who never have a problem with getting people to date them. You can see it in that soprano who can hit notes most of her fellows can only dream of. You can see it in the camp counselor who all the straight girls have a crush on, who can play guitar and sing better than any of the others.

You can see the blood of shapeshifters in the way an actor adjusts their personality to become their character with scary accuracy. You can see it in the subconscious, barely noticeable changes a tween girl’s eyes make to match her outfit better. You can see it in the way you always lose that one friend in a crowd if you’re not careful, because he’s just too good at blending in.

People who carry the blood of werewolves don’t change with the full moon anymore, but you can still see it in the way your best friend always knows something is wrong, though even they don’t know they’re smelling the changes in your body chemistry. You can see it in the way that one guy always seems to eat more than the reasonable amount of red meat at an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can see it in the way that one werido never has a problem when the teacher turns off the lights before a PowerPoint presentation because her eyes adjust quicker and better than yours.

The blood of supernatural creatures may have mostly faded away. But if you look closely, you can still see it.

Where is the lie though

#Hub #meme #change my mind #truth

reidandweep

Stitching

Spencer Reid x Reader (female)

A/N- Much like Adam Driver, I have been a huge fan of Matthew Gray Gubler and criminal minds for years. With quarantine, I decided to re-watch the show from the beginning and I had some inspiration. My writing tends to take a while but if you have any requests or idea for Spencer Reid, please send them my way.

Word Count- 6286 words

Warning- Angst, mentions of violence and torture, fluff, tears, and the usual criminal minds details.

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? -William Shakespeare.

QUANTICO, VIRGINIA

“Good morning my lover and friends. As of 8:45 am, yesterday morning, four bodies have been found across the Washington State area. Locations confirmed to be Pomeroy, Baker City, Salem, and Mill Creek. All victims were very similar in physical appearance; Caucasian, red hair, brown eyes, approximately 5ft 4’.”

Garcia swiped her tablet to display family photographs of the victims on the screen. The team watched, in the debriefing room, as they scanned through their own tablets; reading through the details. Spencer’s eyes flittered over the images as his fingers scanned across the words in his paper file; still adamant on not working with technology like the rest of his team.

“What about the cause of death? How were they found?”

Garcia shivered at Rossi’s question.

“It’s not a pretty image. Each victim was dismembered at the elbows, knees, neck, and stomach. Further cuts were made vertically down the stomach and across the face, arms, and legs. Not deep enough to cut through bone, but deep enough to bleed out. Where the unsub cut our victims, he then sewed them back together.”

Emily looked up at Garcia.

“Are you saying the lacerations were made before the victim’s died?”

“Precisely. Each autopsy report came back the same with the cause of death pointing to the direction of blood loss; specifically, from the throat.”

The team looked at the new images before them. Multiple pictures appeared on the screen, showing the bodies of the victims. The pictures showing the women laid out in the same pose, thick thread holding together the pieces of their corpses. All had their eyes closed, except one.

“Garcia, the last victim, zoom into her face.”

Garcia did as Spencer asked.

“Her eyes are closed.”

Spencer nodded, glancing towards JJ as she spoke.

“Meaning that he felt remorse for this murder.”

Derek scrolled through the pictures on his tablet.

“The other three victim’s eyes are open, indicating that he wanted them to look. To watch what he was doing, whatever it may have been.”

Spencer looked across the table at the questioning faces.

“So, what changed between the third and the fourth victim?”

Hotch stood from his seat, indicating the others to grab their belonging.

“We can discuss further on jet. Wheels up in thirty.”

WASHINGTON STATE

Being greeted by the local police department in Clagstone, Spencer and the team began their investigation into the murders. Spencer did not know what it was, but the stitching on the bodies felt familiar. Like he had seen them before.

Looking up from his files, Spencer watched as Derek walked into the room, ending a call with who he could only presume to be Garcia.

“Garcia has just completed background checks on our latest victim. Lily Trent visited local film screenings at the Southview Centre religiously, to watch horror movies in particular. Seems like the girl loved anything horror and Halloween; according to her roommate and her computer history. It seems that are other victims did also.”

Spencer stood from his seat and walked towards the whiteboard at the back of the room. Writing down the details Derek stated, his brain began to filter through the relevant information needed.

“Halloween is ranked the ninth most celebrated holiday in the world. With different interpretations of the holiday occurring according to country and culture. Wearing costumes at Halloween did not even become an occurrence until 1585, with the first instance recorded in Scotland.”

Derek chuckled at Reid’s excitement. He knew the boy loved Halloween.

“Well it all looks like they were pretty huge fans of the holiday and horror films. Maybe our unsub was too.”

Spencer looked down at the photos in his hand, scanning his memory for any correlation.

“Maybe, it’s not just horror, but a particular film. If all the victims were presented in a certain way, maybe the unsub is trying to replicate what happened to a character in a particular film.”

Derek crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’ll call Garcia to search through all the victims search history to see if any particular horror films come up in each one. Do you know of any films that the unsub could have replicated?”

Spencer shook his head.

“I can collate his actions to hundreds of films but, the method of torture and look of the victims, I can’t think of one horror feature that pinpoints all that the unsub has done.”

A thought unexpectedly popped into Spencer’s mind. Derek cocked his head at the sudden halt from the resident genius.

“But I know someone who might.”

Keep reading

headcans-oneshots-and-stuff

Y/N: Dad, when I get murdered please make sure it’s an unsolved case Bruce: What? Y/N: I want to end up on buzzfeed unsolved Dick: Can we go back to the bit where she said ‘when I get murdered’?