- N.R.K. -

i love to read and growing up i have always loved to write whatever thoughts and feelings that come to my mind to express mine and the emotions of people around me. i hope you like them as much as i have loved writing them and if it relates to you, i hope it helped you in some way.

[denimnan]

at times you start to doubt yourself if you really have some mental issue when you are repeatedly accused and assumed to have something bothering you whenever you try to have a proper discussion on the real issues on hand for years it always gets twisted and you get blamed to be the problem creator that all these self doubts start to take over even though you know you are not the one creating problems in the first place

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

you come out of an addiction with so much difficulty and hope to be able to stay out of it but reality is if there is no change to the life you live it won't be long before you get addicted again

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

at times she tries so hard to make things right but things never go her way making it difficult for her to live day by day with all the heaviness that she carries every day of her life

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

at times when there is no proper communication everything goes wrong causing so many misunderstandings and for relationships to break which in turn ruins peace and happiness in one's life

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

at times you just have to stop being so nice to everyone as it never gets appreciated and instead will just make you upset for being used in ways that people deem fit and in the end you will still be blamed when things don't go their way

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

at times you just wish you could let your mask slip and scream to let everyone know you are not okay and for them to not just assume you are for only you know the battles that you are facing from the daily abuses and threats which is pushing you over the edge

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

at times you wonder why you are letting yourself be used by everyone even though at the end of the day you are left broken by them repeatedly

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

at times you reach a point where you just don't know what to do anymore but struggle to move on in life with each day getting more and more difficult to breathe

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

no idea why you have done this

you just went off the radar again

you have created this distance between us

this time you will no longer be allowed back in

you were warned and yet you did it again

given you too many chances

not going to continue letting you play mind games

not so foolish to fall into your trap again

enough is enough

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

why would you let him continue using you like this

you know well that you mean nothing to him

his “you are special to me” means nothing serious to him

you are just a convenience to him while he heals from his pain

there is no happy ending like how you are hoping

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

at times in life you decide it’s best to just let go of everything and not let if affect you anymore for the damage it causes you emotionally and mentally is not worth it as you are the only one who suffers and not anyone else

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

all these years all you have done is to try to just endure everything that comes your way

there are days you fight back but you can never win any of these battles

never have understood why even after all these years you have to go through all these

you cannot keep up with all the hurt for you have no more strength left in you

prayed and hoped for something to change or even for a miracle but nothing seems to be changing or making any difference

asking you to continue being patient after enduring so much pain is just not possible

for you know that you are not able to be yourself at all and that is a life not worth living

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

it's so easy for people

to come and go

in and out of your life

they don't care

about the damage

thinking if it's you

mentally you spiral

for years you have tried

to understand

why are you always alone

why are you always lied to

why are you always an option

what have you done

to deserve this

your entire life

makes you relieve

every single memory

that has left you

scared in life

you blame yourself

over and over

till you start to believe

that maybe

you are the reason

you are so alone

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

today you hurt me really deep

one call was all it took

you choose her over me

made me a stranger within seconds

this is me saying enough

i am not letting myself feel this again

you can continue having your toxic relationship with her

goodbye

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

today i realise that i can try

but there will always be setbacks

i am not able to move forward

sometimes i feel i am deceiving myself

knowing what i am doing

is not going to end well

before it gets too late

maybe i should put a stop to it

it's okay if i never get to be happy

but at least it keeps things safe

it just breaks me

that i can never get what i want

always having to sacrifice

pretend things are okay

but it’s only my heart that knows

the ache that will never go away

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

there are things that i want to tell you

but i am holding myself back

for i know if she calls you to reconcile

you will drop everything to go back to her

i knew what i was getting myself into

when i let you in again

but i only wanted to be there for you

while you heal from the pain she caused

you have said so many things to me

made so many promises to me

half of which i don’t think you remember

yet here i am thinking of you

letting myself be hurt

knowing i will never be the one you choose

- N.R.K.

[denimnan]

laying in bed with tears in her eyes

crying where no one can see

it’s become her daily routine

her days are just getting harder

she is losing the will to fight on

the kind of things that are spoken behind her back

hurts her like a knife being stabbed into her

how long will she have to keep going through this

- N.R.K.