Hell is empty

43 year old Muppet enthusiast. Occasional science fiction/fantasy/TTRPG writer. Cis white guy. Bisexual. This is a place where I reblog things about politics that were said by people who seem smarter and better educated than me, post TTRPG crap that will reliably hit the single post text limit, and share a lot of screencaps of my FFXIV character, Captain Siege Zabac.

[hotshotriot]

its like strippers and the economy to me

[desertleviathan]

As an actual, human, flesh-and-blood Bisexual Man... all this XIV community discourse crossing my dash about whether fucking Ghost Hitler is or is not valid Bisexual Representation sure is a big spoonful of cat piss drizzled over my Ice Cream Sunday. Some bigot-ass cartoonist says we can't have him? Good. I don't want him. I cut his ratlike torso in half at the bottom of the ocean and the only reason I was sad about it is that they didn't let me do it a second time during their godawful Time Travel arc.

[desertleviathan]

For the last year and a half my landlord has been trying to sell the house where I live. He got close around February but the deal fell through, and now it seems he's decided it'll be easier to sell the house he currently lives in and move his family into this one. And I have until the end of June to find a new place to live.

Meanwhile, I only have a part time job. I've been trying to pick up as much freelance work as possible but that well has been pretty dry for a while, and full-time opportunities have been... well, you all know what the job market looks like right now. Even minimum wage service jobs would rather just put pretend to be hiring but stay permanently understaffed.

So my financial situation while looking for a new place is dire, to say the least. Also I don't have a car, and haven't even had a license since the early 2000s, so moving is going to involve paying someone to haul a bunch of stuff around. Or else taking ten thousand bus trips to my storage unit on the other side of town, and living out of a suitcase at the new place.

Anyway, any help would mean the world to me, whether it's a donation, sharing the link, or just sending good vibes out into the universe on my behalf. Thanks for reading.

Donate to Help Scott with unexpected moving costs, organized by Scott Corpany

For the last year and a half my landlord has been trying to sell the building wh… Scott Corpany needs your support for Help Scott with unexp

[desertleviathan]

I can't give enough thanks to everyone who's helped so far, but the situation is still a mess. I'm in the process of moving all my stuff into storage (still an enormous hassle with no car and no license), and finding a place where can get approved for rental in the first place with my part-time employment situation. And then if I'm able to wrangle that, I've got to afford first/last month's rent plus security deposit without literally bankrupting myself.

If I'm not able to wrangle local lodgings, then the money becomes my "finally get out of Utah" fund. I've got friends elsewhere who could host me on a couch until I find something full-time and local, and presumably from there my situation would stabilize enough to make acquiring permanent lodgings less of a fucking ordeal. Presumably.

[desertleviathan]

While trying to distract myself from the vicissitudes of my particular coordinates within the greater "trapped animal gnawing off its own leg to escape" stage of the capitalist hellscape, I've been working on another TTRPG project that's difficult to fully describe, but I had a fun idea that I think stands on its own.

THE THUNDERJACK

Imagine a world where cruel and merciless Giants once reigned from castles floating above the clouds. Among the revolutionaries of the surface world a specialization of warrior-assassin emerged who trained to peak athletic condition so they could scramble up the twisting magic vines that the giants used to descend from their domains. This is a world with strong ambient magic, and all "mundane" arts still draw on the elemental energy around them, and these particular warriors became adept at wielding the energy of Wind and Cold and especially Lightning that was abundant in the cloud kingdoms. And their preferred weapons? Well, if the only part of an enemy you can reliably reach is a tree-trunk thick ankle, there are few tools better than a heavy felling axe.

The giants are long dead (although rumors persist of survivors who may some day return from exile in foreign skies), and the beanstalks that once ascended to their castles are withered, rotten, and unreliable for transit. But the practical skills of the Thunderjacks turned out to be valuable for fighting all kinds of other titanic-size beasties, and frankly overkill for fighting most regular size foes, so the fighting style has persisted even as missions into the cloud kingdoms have become less common. Thunderjacks are in particular demand as one-person siege weapons, since it's very difficult to build a castle wall that can't be scaled by someone who trained to climb to the heavens, and the same brutally powerful strikes that work with their famous axes are easily adapted to a pick or a sledge and directed against a wall. Their numbers are dwindling though, since initial training requires them to find a way into the sky to meditate within the storm clouds, and the means of doing so become rarer and rarer as the old magical infrastructure the Giants left behind falls into disrepair.

POWERS AND ABILITIES

As mentioned, Thunderjacks are particularly adept at channeling the elemental energy of storms. Their movements are swift as a gale, precise as a lightning strike, and devastating as a crash of thunder. They operate with little or no armor though, and rely on extraordinary mobility for defense - when one expects to have to climb for hours, acceptable weight loads becomes a much tighter calculation. To supplement their evasive maneuvers, advanced Thunderjacks may learn to sheath their bodies in a layer of protective frost or a vortex of arrow-deflecting wind. Their athletic prowess is second to none - no one runs faster, leaps further, or especially climbs more nimbly than a veteran Thunderjack. And since great heights are such a core occupational hazard they either learn an array of tricks to lessen the impact of a fall, or else don't last long in this career. Finally, because they've historically had access to so much Giantish Plunder, Thunderjacks have developed special brawn-enhancing magics that allow them to wield oversize weapons with ease.

End result - is this just Final Fantasy Dragoon minus Dragons and Spears and plus Giants and Axes? Maybe! But I dig it, and I'm working on stats.

[desertleviathan]

For the last year and a half my landlord has been trying to sell the house where I live. He got close around February but the deal fell through, and now it seems he's decided it'll be easier to sell the house he currently lives in and move his family into this one. And I have until the end of June to find a new place to live.

Meanwhile, I only have a part time job. I've been trying to pick up as much freelance work as possible but that well has been pretty dry for a while, and full-time opportunities have been... well, you all know what the job market looks like right now. Even minimum wage service jobs would rather just put pretend to be hiring but stay permanently understaffed.

So my financial situation while looking for a new place is dire, to say the least. Also I don't have a car, and haven't even had a license since the early 2000s, so moving is going to involve paying someone to haul a bunch of stuff around. Or else taking ten thousand bus trips to my storage unit on the other side of town, and living out of a suitcase at the new place.

Anyway, any help would mean the world to me, whether it's a donation, sharing the link, or just sending good vibes out into the universe on my behalf. Thanks for reading.

Donate to Help Scott with unexpected moving costs, organized by Scott Corpany

For the last year and a half my landlord has been trying to sell the building wh… Scott Corpany needs your support for Help Scott with unexp

[desertleviathan]

For the last year and a half my landlord has been trying to sell the house where I live. He got close around February but the deal fell through, and now it seems he's decided it'll be easier to sell the house he currently lives in and move his family into this one. And I have until the end of June to find a new place to live.

Meanwhile, I only have a part time job. I've been trying to pick up as much freelance work as possible but that well has been pretty dry for a while, and full-time opportunities have been... well, you all know what the job market looks like right now. Even minimum wage service jobs would rather just put pretend to be hiring but stay permanently understaffed.

So my financial situation while looking for a new place is dire, to say the least. Also I don't have a car, and haven't even had a license since the early 2000s, so moving is going to involve paying someone to haul a bunch of stuff around. Or else taking ten thousand bus trips to my storage unit on the other side of town, and living out of a suitcase at the new place.

Anyway, any help would mean the world to me, whether it's a donation, sharing the link, or just sending good vibes out into the universe on my behalf. Thanks for reading.

Donate to Help Scott with unexpected moving costs, organized by Scott Corpany

For the last year and a half my landlord has been trying to sell the building wh… Scott Corpany needs your support for Help Scott with unexp

[joyejoyu]

Thanks for the adventure!

(also available as a postcard)

[anneapocalypse]

"Stop dumbing down dungeons! More complex mechanics!"

(pulls out a Nerf gun) and how will you respond when players get those mechanics wrong and slow down your run? answer quickly.

[realbrickwall]

This is correct, but if you find yourself having ignored this warning and placed a puzzle rated for children over the age of 5 in your dungeon, the answer is ninjas. Ninjas attack and in the process the mechanic is altered or bypassed as your players lose a few resources.

Replace ninjas with whatever imminent danger fits your situation. A fire can be ninjas for those with a pure heart.

[dice-wizard]

Turns out this one's actually about MMO dungeons, bud, but this is still good advice. Excuse us, OP, we got lost.

[anneapocalypse]

No worries, TTRPG friends, I am one of you as well. 🤝 Thanks for introducing the phrase "A fire can be ninjas for those with a pure heart" to my vocabulary.

[desertleviathan]

I decided to update one of Siege's Gunbreaker glams. I love the level 80 AF armor, but didn't want to keep copying Thancred's look entirely. Especially since I'm already using his hand-me-down eyepatch (gross!) So I kept the coat and then went hunting through my wardrobe for anything else that fit the vibe of a guy who's had the "Sky Pirate" title set permanently since the day I unlocked it.

WEAPON: Figment of the Deep (Dye 1: Blood Red, Dye 2: Ruby Red)

HEAD: Scion Rogue's Bandana (Dye: Jet Black)

BODY: Idealized Bodyguard's Coat (Dye 1: Storm Blue, Dye 2: Metallic Silver)

HANDS: Genji Kote of Fending (Dye: Gunmetal Black)

LEGS: Obsolete Android's Trousers of Aiming (Dye: Soot Black)

FEET: Bastion's Thighboots (Dye 1: Gunmetal Black, Dye 2: Metallic Silver)

EARRINGS: Silver Earrings

NECKLACE: Redbill Scarf (not shown but I wish it was)

BRACELETS: The Emperor's New Bracelet (not shown and not showable)

RING 1: Mad Bird Ring (That's right baby, I won the Cactpot)

RING 2: Gysahl Ring (So my Mad Bird Ring can have a snack)

MINION: The Major-General (My very hungry, very stupid, adopted son who is upset that there's nothing to eat in this desolate wasteland)

LOCATION: The Burn (Can't beat that white light for Gposing)

[sovietnam]

[beardedmrbean]

this sounds like a party to me

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

[wolquestion]

5/14/26

What job does/would your wol(oc) main for every role?

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ramshacklefey]

No IDs, but these tags got me in a huff:

So ok look. The point is not the flared leg by itself. These cannot be yoga pants. These are, and you have to understand this if you are too young to have worn them, BLUE JEANS. And this was the last years before all jeans were 70% spandex.

They were denim, and they weren't bell bottoms. They hung loose from the knee in a way that would make a wizard envious. We all walked around like we were wearing hakama. And they dragged on the ground. That was important. Ragged cuffs. If your jeans weren't so long that they had ratty cuffs, they were embarrassingly short.

And the thing about denim is that it's a twill weave and it's cotton. So not only does it hold a lot of water, it wicks. Walking around in these suckers on a wet day could get you wet to the knees even if you never stepped in a puddle.

Then you'd go inside and take off your shoes and try to avoid letting your freezing, wet, filthy pant legs touch your skin.

Yoga pants. Hmf.

[elodieunderglass]

people in cold climates would have a tide line of white marks around their knees (if they were normal height) in the winter.

From wicking up road salt.

[taibhsearachd]

The visceral memory of that time is something that never leaves you. Everyone's jeans were many inches higher in the back than the front because you kept stepping on the hem and ripping it off. Your lower legs were so very cold. Every new pair of jeans literally enveloped your entire foot, they were so so long re: leg-to-waist ratio. Walking on a rainy day was a legitimate workout. You have no idea.

[desertleviathan]

Let me give you a better idea how huge these things were. I never wore them myself because I am a big Sasquatch-shaped dude and finding clothes that fit at all in that "too big for the normal store, too small for the Big And Tall store" clothing space is hard enough without committing to any specific short-lived fashion trend. But I had a good friend in high school who wore these things literally every day. One time he and I decided we were going to go see a movie. I think it was when The Matrix first came out? But despite both being in our late teens, we were dork-ass losers who didn't have cars, and we had to take the bus to the theater.

As we were waiting at the bus stop though we had an idea - behind the bus stop was a grocery store and a post office. If we went into the grocery store and bought a bunch of snacks at real world prices instead of movie theater prices, we could strap them to my buddy's shins under his enormous JNCO jeans using the free packing tape at the post office. This was South Florida in the 90s and everyone was so used to goddamn weird stuff happening all around them at all times that no one even blinked when we went into the post office and taped a couple 2-liter bottles of coke and a bunch of bags of chips and candy to my buddy's legs.

Once the cargo was secure, he could drape his pant legs back over it without looking at all different. His walk was a little weird, but only if you knew what his walk normally looked like. So we went back to the bus stop barely in time to board and headed towards the theater.

But then as we were getting off the bus, he stood up to get ready before the bus had come to a complete stop, staggered a little, tripped, and banged one of his shins against a bus seat. A bottle of shook-up cola ERUPTED up his pant leg, making it look like he was having some kind of reverse-diarrhea with a stain that somehow started at his knee and grew upwards. Within seconds he was surrounded by a puddle of foamy brown liquid, while everyone on the bus stared at him like they thought he was going to literally die.

We staggered off the bus and ran into the park by the movie theater, where we knew there was a public bathroom. And then instead of seeing The Matrix, my buddy washed his jeans as best he could in the bathroom sink then handed them to me to drape over a park bench in the sun while he sat in the toilet stall in his underwear. Except that it was still South Florida, the humidity was always 90%+, and his pants were never ever going to dry. So three hours later he put his soggy JNCOs back on and we called his sister to come pick us up, and she yelled at us the whole way home because we hadn't thought to warn her to bring a towel for him to sit on.

A few months later we tried the experiment again, but that time we strapped a whole rotisserie chicken to his leg (in a plastic bag) because we knew that if we were going to attempt such a disastrous experiment a second time, we needed to kick it up a notch to justify the risk. We got the whole chicken into the theater, but got kicked out because of COURSE they noticed when we took it out and started eating it.

Also as additional evidence of the hugeness of his jeans, one time he shoplifted a used Super Nintendo from a pawn shop by sliding the entire thing into one of his enormous pockets. We did not get the cords and controllers though, and never got it to work.

[desertleviathan]

You ever finish your pizza and bread sticks but there's still dipping sauce in the dipping sauce cup so you just lick it out like a dirty slut and sort of revel in how much of it is getting in your beard like a mark of conquest like YEAH SAUCE CUP I MADE YOU FUCKIN SLOPPY WET AND YOU LIKED IT CALL ME SAUCE DADD- oh. Just me?

That's fair. Let's all just move on with our lives please.

[just-pug-things]

Okay but does Bakool Ja Ja count as one character or two?

[madbrake]

Hi all. Trying to gather some research on FF14 chocobo companions, though this is open to any chocobo fan really.

What’s your favorite chocobo color? (Would also love to know your favorite barding in the tags for FF14 specifically if you feel inclined).

Yellow

Black

White

Grey

Dark Blue

Light Blue

Teal

Pink

Light green

Red

Purple

Other

Voting ended onMay 8

I’m sorry to brown, orange, dark green, and other nuance colors, I ran out of answer slots, I was trying to think of the heavy hitters, but you are still so cool and valid.

Edit: Favorite barding or “other” color options can also go into the comments if you want to answer, I only said tags because I forgot tumblr posts have comment sections alsjdladbdk

[hungwy]

theo van gogh was the one who suggested that his older brother vincent start seriously painting. as soon as theo was gainfully employed he gave vincent around 15% of his own yearly salary for art supplies, lodging, and food. about 2/3rds of vincent's surviving letters were to theo (including vincent's earliest and last letters), all of which were found stored in theo's desk. theo's child, vincent willem, was born on january 31st, 1890, and vincent was so delighted by his nephew that he painted almond blossoms for him. vincent shot himself half a year later on july 29th, 1890. theo's distress at his brother's death worsened his syphilis symptoms and he died half a year after his brother on january 25th, 1891 (four days before vincent willem's first birthday). theo was reburied next to vincent in auvers-sur-oise at the request of theo's wife johanna.

[nutropes]

Almond Blossoms, 1890, Vincent van Gogh

[emilyofjane]

[cannucks-addiction]

And that love lived on Theo's wife, Johanna, who was the one who pushed for the preservation of Vincent's paintings. Johanna who made sure that her husband's beloved brother would not be forgotten. Johanna who fought tooth and nail so that Theo and Vincent would never be forgotten. Johanna who carried the family legacy, who made sure that the works of Vincent would be kept in her possession. And then Vincent Willem, named for a uncle so loved, carried this legacy and founded the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam.

The van Gogh family history is deeply interwoven with love. It was the love of a brother that gave a young man the courage to paint and the resources to do so. It was the love of a woman for her husband and her husband's beloved brother that made that story known. And it was the love of a nephew, who was so deeply loved even if for such a short time, that made it possible for the world to know Vincent van Gogh.