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@desifemininewoman
Hello meri priyein sakhis!
Hope you all are doing well. I have decided to put all my posts in sections so that its easy for you guys to come back to.
Health Tips
Skincare Tips
Financial Tips
Dating And Relationship Advice
Fashion Tips
Haircare Tips
Feminine Tips and Advices
General
Moodboards and Vision Boards
Hello meri priyein sakhis,
I know I have been inactive for a long while. It's been career making time for me. Anyways, I have started reading more, trying to be mroe politically aware, watching more movies and tv shows, reading more articles, just trying to keep my brain more activated in this ai slop era.
I am very anti-ai and I cant believe in such small time ai has turned into absolute necessities in a lot of industries including mine, so I cannot completely stop using ai but i can try to minimize it and you know what? In this era of dumbification and not thinking anymore, I am actively going to try to read more longer articles, read books with more than 100 pages, watch content longer than these instagram reels, and I am trying to educate myself more in other areas of life.
I am thinking of starting to post these updates of what I learned in a day or in a week, I have decided to organize it as I start. The posting is purely to keep myself disciplined and to force myself to continue this habit plus if it encourages you guys as well thats like sone per suhaga.
me whenever i see a notif about meri priyein sakhis liking what i posted
Men will cheat on a woman every man wants to be with, for a woman every man has been with.
men cheat to make his partner feel just as insecure as he does in the relationship
The amount of men that find that woman attractive is the reason he is insecure so he preys on another woman who seeks validation from the male population
Dont put down another woman to make other one feel better , let's do a better job at holding men accountable
We at that age now where if u not working on yourself, it shows. Big time
what i was taught wealth meant:
luxury brands. marrying someone rich. old money. yacht birthday parties. expensive restaurants. getting the new iphone at every release. travelling abroad every winter. hiring servants. ordering everything online. hundreds of pairs of shoes. pool house in the city. buying a new car every generation. buying houses to rent them out. driving everywhere always
what i learned wealth means:
no rush in the morning. no anxiety in the evening. owning nothing to nobody. privacy. having time to make decisions. learning how to cook everything i love eating. not worrying about rent. having clean water at all times. having someone to really, really trust. not fearing for my safety, at home and outside of it. having the ability to forgive myself. moving on without needing closure. busy free time. seeing the ocean âż
Pretty things to do
A list thatâll will make you feel and be prettier on the inside and out!
Double cleansing every night
Always having minty sweet fresh breath!
exfoliating 3 times a week
wearing body glitter everyday
speak softly, not cursing, & incorporating âprettyâ words to your vocab!
drink lots of water out of a cute and decorated reusable bottle!
moisturize with body oil and body butter everyday!
deep conditioner in hair every wash day!!
sit up and walk straight! posture is everything
wearing pink, regular french, or pink french rip nails and match your toe color!
wear pretty jewelry everyday! earrings, crystal bracelets, necklaces!
always do your hair
keep your lips soft and moisturized!
carry extra lip gloss, hand lotions, and perfumes with you!
meditate
journal (with scented glitter pens!)
be gentle and kind to everyone! never let people take you out of your character!
(this list was inspired by jujucrossing on tiktok!)
Date by honoring your nervous system.
This took me a long while to realize, but once I did, it changed how I see dating and chemistry. Let me explain.
When you realize that chemistry and flying sparks have zero correlation with compatibility, you've leveled up your dating mindset.
Most often those sparks and butterflies you feel, that's your subconscious picking up on familiar toxic patterns in the other person. Patterns which remind you of past experiences or even childhood trauma. Our brains are designed to see familiarity as safe, so when toxic dynamics are all you know, this can turn against you. You have to conscious rewire your brain, and be intentional and aware of how they make you feel.
Toxicity = familiar = safe = we interpret it as attraction. If they make your nervous system go haywire, we see this as chemistry and sparks flying, but it is actually alarm bells going off to signal we are not safe.
Healthy = unfamiliar = can feel unsafe and scary. We may interpret a vanilla, calm, comfortable interaction as a lack of chemistry. But there is a difference between no physical attraction, and being attracted to someone but not feeling any sparks. The latter is normal in the beginning. If your nervous system feels calm, they make you feel comfortable and at ease, that's a good sign!
So if there's any advice I would give to my younger self, it's this: date based on how he makes your nervous system feel. Does he make you feel safe, comfortable, at ease? That's the green flag to go for.
-Lumen
More people need to learn this.
Whats ur tip for dealing with life after leaving a toxic man ? My fiancĂŠe just left me bc Im not submissive what seems to be a blessing is now sad , how can i recover from this moment ?
Iâm sorry youâre going through this. It sounds like an intense situation. Toxic or not, breaking up with a fiancee must be hard to cope with.
Before I try to help, I just want to understand better: did you leave him, or did he end things?
The reason I ask is that your emotional experience and what youâre needing might differ based on that. If he left, even knowing he was toxic doesn't make the sadness any smaller. That grief is real, and it might bring up feelings of rejection or confusion. If you left, then youâve already taken a powerful step, even if you still feel sad, and your focus might be more on staying strong and rebuilding.
Also, when you say "dealing with life," what does that feel like for you right now? Are you struggling with the emotional pain or feeling uncertain about your future? Or maybe you're dealing with judgment from others or the feeling that your plans for your life have suddenly shifted?
Any or all of that IS valid. I am just looking for a bit clarity to help you outa and support you the best way.
Sending you all my love Sakhi
today i really, really want to talk about parenthood. my sister recently became a new parent and i am so ahppy and excited and everything good. i care for that kid so damn much i genuinely believe no language has enough words to describe how much i love that baby. he cries like a new born baby does and it sears through my heart. i want to burn the whole wide world to make him happy. i physically cannot listen to his cries. it compeltely vexes me
but that being said, i don't ever want to have kids of my own. and i know i am too young to think about such things as my parents always say in that inconsiderate tone suggesting they have shrugged off everything i have said about this topic in belief that its my boorish, rebelious naive youth that makes me say things like these. and maybe, just maybe, eben though i am so sure about this like i have never been before, but maybe yeah i'll change my mind when the time comes but that doesn't mean you invalidate me in this very moment.
my mother still kids around(pun intended) that this is exactly how i'll play with your kid or do this or that. and yes thats cute on paper but i don't want kids.
i feel like the world is going absolutely crazy. every single day, it gets a bit harder to be good. everything is so expensive. i am not even sure if i'll be able to float my own boat yet alone a future husband or a kid or two. and fuck expansivity. it's much more than that, if i have a daughter it would be completely against what i stand for, to stop her to do whatever she wants, to let her make her own decision for me but yet i feel like i would be scaredy cat of a mother. i'd be so scared for letting her be out alone in night remembering all the times i was harassed. cause i might be a liberal but that doesnt mean men are disgusting creatures. and if i have a son, it would break my heart to accidentally raise an entitled bastard who thinks everybody's beneath him. and fuck gender of the baby. i would never want to even let my kid sacrifice whatever they dream of because i have no money. it would crush me but in this economy? i am afraid even making them go to kindergarten is going to be so expensive,
and chalo lets leave the expense thing aside as a reason too. but what about familial trauma? everybody who has kids they hope to raise their kids better than their parents raised them and on paper thats such a beautiful thought. but you know what it does? it neglects what the child needs. say i felt neglected growing up and i swore to make my kid feel seen or heard but that's what i am assuming my kid needs cause thats where my childhood lacked but what if i fail in some different region and i would never even know? i dont want to pass on the family trauma.
leaving the fear of this, what about the fact that i believe its completely selfish to want to have kids. give me one non-selfish reason to have kids. its very much in our desi mentality that bacche buddhe gharwalo ko sambhalenge and its seeped into us very early in life. and yes i agree with that. very logical thinking. but it shouldn't be a responsibility, like a baggage on the kid, like thats just expected from them. like we kids are some sort of guaranteed investment to them, they feed us, raise us and give us shit in exchange of us doing the same to them in their old age but we get the short end of the stick since there is no guarantee they would be good parents or they would do their job right but its a compulsion from our ends that we have to do the same. but like we didn't even ask to be born? how did we become your guaranteed caretakers then? and the absolute joke is that kids inherently want to take care of their parents. the parents who don't treat them as their own personal slaves. the parents who don't make you feel shitty. we already love you enough to want to take care of you. parent- kid child is inherently a very beautiful bond without the compulsions.
and chalo leaving all of my reasons behind what world am i bringing them into? jaha rapes pe rapes hote hai but no one takes a stand. does nothing about it. the rapist gets freed cause oh my god we can't ruin this innocent man's live = cmon you asked for it. jaha per har cheez per tax hai? jaha per bhut jaldi paani per bhi tax lagne wla hai? basic commodities are sold to us undr capitalism. jaha itna corruption hai pucho mat jaha ek country dusri country per war krti hai and hum memes bana kar aage badh jate hai apni life mai cause its not effecting us? jaha rich and influential get away with everything but for middle class life gets hard every second day? what hope will they have for their life? we gen zs already live knowing deep down the world is going to come to an end and we have gathered is idgaf attitude as a coping mechanism. toh apne aage wali peedhi ko kya hi hope de?
nobody talks enough about this. shaadi krlo bacche paida krlo end of story. but no.
not the end of the story.
more people should stand up and say they dont want kids if they dont want kids. toh ek aur trauma induced peedhi na apida krde hum.
Hello
Pretty blog
thankyou sakhiii <3
Hi, love your blog :) any advice for dealing with depression?
Hi sakhi! Thankyou <3
well i am not an expert and i have no absolutely no idea about what you are dealing with but if i had to say something about it having gone through my own depression phase, i think its more about feeling stagnant in life.
i was heavily depressed in high school because i felt stuck. i wanted to move out so bad. i felt restricted in my hometown. i yearned for new experiences. when i finally got out, things started taking a brighter turn.
if this resonates with you, i'd say push yourself to do new things. try to gain new experiences in whatever capacity you can. do something that will make you get that dopamine hit and i mean the real dopamine not just doom scrolling and all.
its a very cliche advice but it always works. get up in the morning like early morning and go for a walk. walk barefoot in the grass. chances are you need connection again. the wind in your hair, the coldness on your soles of the mud feels amazing. join any sort of classes based on whatever your hobbies are. try to connect with your inner child.
it might not cure your depression but it will make you feel better.
and my dms are always, always open my love.
if thereâs one advice i could give on new relationships, itâs this:
donât perform.
donât try to be the ideal girlfriend or whatever version you think love is supposed to look like.
in a new relationship, itâs easy to get lost in the emotions. we start acting a little softer, sweeter, calmer. more like the kind of person we think the other would want, and less like ourselves.
we act on our own idea of what âthe perfect partnerâ looks like. so giving. so patient. so endlessly nice.
but thatâs when you start losing yourself. it becomes a performance. and if you donât find your way back from that honeymoon phase, you stay stuck in that role. and with time that facade will fall. and with that your relationship might too.
you deserve love. you don't have to try so hard. do the inner work.
show your true self from the start. don;t avoid conflicts and those awkward, difficult conversations. trust me relationships always come back stronger from this stuff when both the partners are willing to make it work.
understand that love is rest. love is support at your worst and celebration at your best. its not a continuous act of trying to get the other to love you daily.
love is rest.
Tumblr is not a social media site to me, it is a cool scrapbooking \ creative writing club I go to at my local library
credit to the instagram account where i saw this line and i quickly added the quote to my notes without noting down the account
If youâre desperate for love, youâll convince yourself to overlook red flags. Youâll excuse bad behavior & minimize your own needs just to have someone. When deep down, you know youâre settling. Thatâs what desperation does, it tricks you into believing crumbs are a feast
But when youâve built a life you actually like & youâve invested in yourself, created routines, friendships, passions and a sense of self worth, youâre no longer choosing out of lack. Youâre choosing from a place of strength and clarity. You can actually look at a partner and ask yourself if they add peace, happiness and depth to the life you already love or if they take away from it
If youâre not afraid of being alone, youâre not rushing into situations that drain you. It means you wonât tolerate people who canât meet you where you are. And it means the love you do accept will be real not just a bandage for loneliness
Build your life first. Make it so good that anyone who wants to be with you has to be a true addition, not a replacement for your own happiness
