Detection Artifact

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[goldcrescent]

[infertilityidol]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[transfemininomenon]

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

[dogpuppy]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I understand WHY, ethically and practically, you can't just keep whatever animal you want as a pet, but I also think that I, personally, should be allowed to adopt a colossal squid

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I'm glad you asked! it is easier to relocate a human than to relocate a colossal squid, so the plan is for me to walk into the ocean and never be seen again

[blemgoid]

LOOT POOL: ANCIENT CHINESE WARRIOR

COMMON:

ANCIENT CHINESE ASSAULT RIFLE

ANCIENT CHINESE DEHYDRATED RATION PACK

ANCIENT CHINESE ASSAULT RIFLE AMMO

ANCIENT CHINESE BULLETPROOF VEST

ANCIENT CHINESE COMBAT BOOTS

ANCIENT CHINESE FIRST AID KIT

UNCOMMON:

ANCIENT CHINESE BALLISTIC HELMET

ANCIENT CHINESE COMPASS/RANGEFINDER

ANCIENT CHINESE FIELD RADIO

ANCIENT CHINESE CANTEEN/CUP

ANCIENT CHINESE FLARE GUN

RARE:

ANCIENT CHINESE NIGHT VISION GOGGLES

ANCIENT CHINESE LASER DESIGNATOR

ANCIENT CHINESE SILENCER

ANCIENT CHINESE SATELLITE PHONE

EPIC:

ANCIENT CHINESE EXO-SUIT

ANCIENT CHINESE ELECTRONIC WARFARE PACKAGE

ANCIENT CHINESE ROCKET LAUNCHER

LEGENDARY:

ANCIENT CHINESE NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[depsidase]

[medievalthymes]

how it feels to read 85 pages of a book in one sitting

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[freakasaurus-rex]

"google ai" "spotify ai dj" "ai assistant" "enhanced by ai" what if i just start beating people over the head with a rock

[eurobeatbeetle]

bring out the rotating tiger

[fivehoursofscreaming]

so youre telling me that some asshole can just throw together meaningless shit and get notes and attention yet when i put actual thought into the things i say nothing happens i am so fucking done with this bullshit god damn fuck

[eurobeatbeetle]

[fivehoursofscreaming]

oh

[dogpuppy]