What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitc

I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

[dethlxss]

text - mj

WW: hey im going 2 b late comin home jsyk

WW: pls feed urself n ev

[dethlxss]

text - loki

LL: You’re enjoying this too much.

WW: i think YOU'RE not enjoying this ENOUGH

WW: for someone supposedly in love u seem downright miserable

WW: hes a CLOWN he KNOWS a fake smile when he sees one

[dethlxss]

text - loki

WW: hey lover

[dethlxss]

spxdergwens:

gwen let out a sigh, shaking her head. “i’m just trying to take some me time, you know? like, in a sort of ‘i don’t need no man’ kind of way.” she handed him his mug, holding hers easily in two fingers so she didn’t get burned, the pads of her fingers sticking to the ceramic thanks to her abilities. “it doesn’t matter, anyway, i’m here now, right?” she asked, a crooked, reassuring smile on her features. 

"you are," wade conceded begrudgingly, nodding. “and no darting off to do hero work, or anything! or fuck my roommate. none of that, either.” he gave her a sly grin as he sauntered back to the living room, tea in hand. “don’t think i forgot! how are things with our favorite redhead? dish, c’mon! dish!” he heard bits and pieces from mj, but she was vague when talking about gwen. 

[beepboopboopbeep]

[dethlxss]

@cfpeterparker

[ofhotheads-blog]

Get to know the people in my muse’s life.

Send me a symbol and I’ll tell you about…

🌟 …someone my muse trusts. 💔 …someone who broke my muse’s heart. 💕 …someone my muse loves.  😒 …someone my muse hates. 🔥…someone my muse would die for. 💀 …someone my muse would kill for. 👻 …someone my muse considers a best friend. 💘 …someone my muse has a crush on. 🔪 …someone my muse hurt in the past. 👀 …someone my muse likes, but doesn’t trust. 💩 …someone my muse dislikes, but admires. 👿 …someone my muse used to like, but doesn’t anymore. 😉 …someone my muse has had sex with. 💋 …someone my muse used to date. 😜 …someone who makes my muse laugh. 👪 …someone in my muse’s family. 👑 …someone my muse is jealous of. 👊 …someone who hates my muse. 👫 …someone who has a crush on my muse. 👌 …someone my muse has only met once, but will never forget. 🍓…someone my muse has never met, but wants to meet. 👰 …someone my muse would consider marrying.

[thecanaryxlance]

@agentxmockingbird @badgirlxshenanigans @huntressxhelena

[alexanderofnyc-blog]

@upallnight2getl0ki

[dethlxss]

@chasestxin @hxllixn @marvel-boi

[dethlxss]

💭💕💖 / Peter Parker !!

send 💖 for a headcanon about my muse’s relationship with them - wade shows up at peter’s place at all hours of the night but he insists it’s polite and fine because he brings a host gift every time. sometimes it’s gummy worms at four am and sometimes it’s a broken yo-yo at one pm. wade is not predictable. send 💕 for my muse’s first impression of them - he’s not like the other goody-goodies. i mean, he is, but he’s more sincere about it. tiny. soft. i wanna keep him.send 💭 for a thought my muse has had about them - does petey know his exes are, like, in lesbians? i’m sure he’d be happy for them, but that’s gotta be a little weird for him, right? i hope i’m there when they tell him. i wanna see his face.

[dethlxss]

💖

send 💖 for a headcanon about my muse’s relationship with them - i don’t know how loki does/will/whatever feel about this, but wade is ABSOLUTELY going to insist they play up the Fake Relationship thing when the time comes. he’s going to have SO MUCH FUN WITH IT it’ll be awful (wade says the joker isn’t easily convinced but honestly he’s mostly just being an asshole bc he thinks it’s fucking hilarious)

[dethlxss]

💖 ❌ evan

send 💖 for a headcanon about my muse’s relationship with them - wade loves giving evan relationship advice but wade is also the WORST relationship counselor in the WORLD. even if evan’s bummed wade knows the correct dumb things to say that’ll get him to laugh, and that always helps, even if it’s just a little.

send ❌ for something my muse will never tell them - wade’s so, so fucking worried about evan growing up. not bc he thinks he’ll go apocalypse - bc he thinks he’s too soft, that he’s going to just get himself hurt out there in the Big World because wade thinks the universe is cruel and he doesn’t think evan is ready

[5oil]

[dethlxss]

@you-just-hit-the-jackpot

[alannasroleplaymemes-moved]

Relationship Headcanons

Send 💖 + a name/URL for a headcanon about my muse’s relationship with them Send 💕 + a name/URL for my muse’s first impression of them Send  💬 + a name/URL for a random thing my muse has said to them Send 💭 + a name/URL for a thought my muse has had about them Send ❌ + a name/URL for something my muse will never tell them

[dethlxss]

[ @chasestxin @hxllixn @marvel-boi ]

[dethlxss]

text: open

LL: look I don’t know

LL: I suppose you’ve noticed tells, things of that nature.

LL: Suggestions of suppressed emotions? I could write a script if necessary.

WW: please do i would LOVE to hear ur impression of me

[dethlxss]

text: open

LL: heaven FORBID

LL: corroborating the story may help

WW: well do i know ur in love with me or is it a secret

WW: u gotta clue me in here

[dethlxss]

text: open

[SEVERAL HOURS LATER]:

LL: SHIT. The clown knows.

LL: I told him I was in love with you instead. Will sort out details later. Sorry.

LL: & also office potentially equals greater anti-clown resources

LL: I have no expectations that she’ll fall in love with me.

WW: i have SO MANY QUESTIONS

WW: it's ok tho im irresistible i cant blame u

WW: am i going 2 have to do anything

WW: i dont wanna get married again just so u can pacify the clown

[dethlxss]

text: papa wade

ES: NO WAY there are people out there who think you're TOUGH

ES: but ur a marshmallow and i love u

ES: Sorry i bugged you. it's just bugging me. I think MJ can teach me a lot about being normal. if we combine like, cinnamon roll (which everyone thinks I am) and sinnamon roll (what everyone thinks MJ is) maybe we will get something int he middle.

WW: im both, little man. im both.

WW: don't b sorry im always here for ur pep talks

WW: maybe u can teach her about like

WW: nope can't say that to u

[dethlxss]

text: papa wade

ES: It count its just a dad answer. jp would say the same thing.

ES: i'm showing these texts to everyone u know to show ur mushy af

ES: :)

WW: everyone already knows im mushy kid im not secret about my feelings

WW: just bc ive taken eyes out with my fingers doesnt mean i cant be tender

[dethlxss]

text: papa wade

ES: No. Not really. Not a significant one.

ES: it's mostly like yano MJ is so, she's just SO. i bet people like her so easy. not even ~like~ just like in general.

ES: she is very magnetic. like people turn their heads and want her attention, I think, anyway I do. And no i am not sayin i like MJ.

ES: I just think I'm not like that.

ES: Evan is not synonymous with fun

ES: BUT IT IS WITH WEIRD APPARENTLY.

WW: people are different, bud

WW: dont waste time trying to b someone else

WW: just be the best evan there is

WW: i mean i already think u r but apparently my opinions dont count so

WW: mj is mj

WW: you are you

WW: both very good and very special

WW: just different