#devi1ism. 𝕃𝔼𝕋 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔻𝔼𝕍𝕀𝕃 𝕆𝕌𝕋. independent rp blog for matthew murdock or daredevil. heavy comic influence, but show-based.
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@devi1ism
#devi1ism. 𝕃𝔼𝕋 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔻𝔼𝕍𝕀𝕃 𝕆𝕌𝕋. independent rp blog for matthew murdock or daredevil. heavy comic influence, but show-based.
OOC. and if i said i died a lil but wanna revive this blog n then make a nightwing one too, what then --
Real lovers get matching bullet holes in the same spot
Matt's words hollowed her out, leaving that familiar ache lodged in her chest. She curled her nails deeper into her palm until it stung, grounding herself in the small, sharp pain.
"Yeah," she muttered, voice rough and quiet. "Every day feels about right."
The blonde's eyes drifted toward the window, city lights blurring against the glass. Talking about Foggy always stripped her bare, pulled her straight back to the night when everything shifted, where nothing felt steady anymore. The silence stretched again, thick and suffocating. Her voice dropped to a whisper, frayed around the edges.
"Losing Foggy and Father Lantom wasn't fair, none of it was. Yet somehow we're supposed to just keep moving, as if that makes it any easier." Her voice faltered before she swallowed hard. "The worst part? Feels like I lost you, too, you know? You may not be in the ground, but it feels the same most days."
he took a deep breath , anything to try to ease the tightening of his throat. nothing would ever make it easy. time would make it hurt less , but it would never make it completely go away.
despite matt's best effort, it's impossible to hide the heaviness of it all from his voice. the deep-seated sorrow. “ feels like i am in the ground most days. ” where he should be , instead of foggy.
“ haven't found the cure to that. feels like i lost you , too. i never wanted to. ” but maybe there was no room for either of them to sit with their grief and each other.
The Mountain Goats — Sax Rohmer #1
The Devil of Hell's Kitchen and his balloon🎈
TALK LESS , MEAN MORE
a collection of sentence starters taken from fall out boy's album save rock & roll . edited to fit rp needs , adjust pronouns as necessary . warnings for swears , drug mentions
❛ you are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down , ❜
❛ one maniac at a time , we'll take it back , ❜
❛ doesn't it feel like our time is running out ? ❜
❛ i'll raise you like a phoenix , ❜
❛ i think it looked a little better on me , ❜
❛ you broke our spirit , ❜
❛ be careful making wishes in the dark , you can't be sure when they've hit their mark , ❜
❛ i'm just dreaming of tearing you apart , ❜
❛ i'm a young lover's rage , ❜
❛ you're the antidote to everything except for me , ❜
❛ burn everything you love , then burn the ashes , ❜
❛ my childhood spat back out the monster that you see , ❜
❛ do you got room for one more troubled soul ? ❜
❛ i don't know where i'm going , but i don't think i'm coming home , ❜
❛ i'll check in tomorrow if i don't wake up dead , ❜
❛ let's be alone together , ❜
❛ my heart is like a stallion , they love it more when it's broken , ❜
❛ tonight i'm high as a private jet , ❜
❛ do you wanna feel beautiful ? ❜
❛ i don't believe a word you say , but i can't stop listening , ❜
❛ my old friends became exes again , ❜
❛ where did the party go ? ❜
❛ i know i expect too much , & not enough all at once , ❜
❛ i only wanted fun then you got me all fucked up on love , ❜
❛ anything you say can & will be held against you , ❜
❛ i'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday , ❜
❛ i know i'm bad news , i saved it all for you , ❜
❛ letting people down is my thing , ❜
❛ if i spilled my guts , the world would never look at you the same way , ❜
❛ i'm here to give you all my love , so i can watch your face as i take it all away , ❜
❛ how the mighty fall in love , ❜
❛ your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme , ❜
❛ if you ask me , two's a whole lot lonelier than one , ❜
❛ we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it , ❜
❛ you think your only crime is that you got caught , ❜
❛ i know you said not to call unless i'm dying , ❜
❛ i'm either fucking or working , so the grind doesn't stop , ❜
❛ hell yeah i'm a dick , addicted to you , ❜
❛ i know i'm the one you want to forget , ❜
❛ now you're gone , but i'll be okay , ❜
❛ i miss missing you now & then , ❜
❛ the person you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger , ❜
❛ i heard you got it so bad , cause i am the best you'll never have , ❜
❛ i need your broken promises , ❜
❛ i want the guts & glory , ❜
❛ you can wear the crown , but you're no prince/ss , ❜
❛ i'm either gone in an instant , or here till the bitter end , ❜
❛ i'll be your favorite drug , i'll get you high , ❜
❛ in poison places , we are antivenom , ❜
❛ tonight the foxes hunt the hounds , ❜
❛ before it has begun , we've already won , ❜
❛ make it easy , say i never mattered , ❜
❛ they just diy'd that shit & they built their own bombs , ❜
❛ remember me as i was not as i am , ❜
❛ i kept wishing she had blonde ambition & she'd let it go to my head , ❜
❛ we're as alone as a little white church in the middle of the desert getting burned , ❜
❛ i'm the lonelier version of you , i just don't know where it went wrong , ❜
❛ you need to lower your standards , cause it's never getting any better than this , ❜
❛ let's be electric like we were before , ❜
❛ i need more dreams & less life , ❜
❛ fuck you , you can go cry me an ocean , ❜
❛ you are what you love , not who loves you , ❜
❛ in a world full of the word yes , i'm here to scream no , ❜
❛ wherever i go trouble seems to follow , ❜
❛ how'd it get to be only me ? ❜
❛ i will defend the faith going down swinging , ❜
❛ we won't go , cause we don't know when to quit , ❜
Send me "Don't chase the rabbit" and your muse will be shown a random memory from my muse's past.
If he thought about it long enough he'd probably laugh at the notion -- their similarities. He could see where they fit into the same team, but their bracket range was wildly different. Frank had crossed the line that Red refused to long ago; it was the reason that Matt kept coming around to him ... because sometimes that little extra force was needed. It was a hard pill to swallow -- realizing that some dogs just needed to be put down was never easy. He didn't have to like it, but he couldn't deny it.
And Frank was good at killing.
"Nice you're trusting."
He'd put the gun down when he got back to his "home". For now it rested securely against his shoulder, only partially obscuring his memento mori, though no one was around to notice it.
"At some point people are gonna stop believin' those shitty excuses. Missing a step doesn't split your head open like a melon."
He was sure he had his own bruises and gashes to tend to. For now he couldn't feel anything oozing ... he'd be fine trading quips with Matt until one or the other pissed the returning party off enough to buzz off. It's usually how it went.
"Fall from a tree savin' a stray kitten? You've been quiet."
More like: they hadn't crossed paths. Frank's was slightly by design, but he always kept Daredevil in the back of his mind when he went out for any given night. Red showing up usually meant more serious shit was going to go down ... and he'd try to tickle Frank's arsenal out of his hands.
It was fine. He could beat someone to death with his hands, if need be.
“ a mugging , a fall , a slip in the kitchen. there's always more dumb excuses. i've had people go after matt murdock before. ” it wouldn't be the first time. the excuses had worked so far , he wasn't gonna start counting his blessings.
threading the needle , his hands were at least steadier than most people's would be. the slight shake made it slightly worse , but it wasn't like he didn't have time. frank wasn't here for a fight , at least not that kind. verbal , he might be on the hunt for.
the question is an interesting one. “ gettin' sweet on me , frank ? you almost sound like you missed me. ” the tease is followed by a slight grimace, slowly easing the stitching together.
🎁GIFts🎁 Matt laying in pain in season 1 of Daredevil
for @booksapphic 💕
She didn't expect anything different from him - the quiet admission that "as close to okay as he could be" was all he had to offer. Even so, it landed somewhere deep inside of her, a place she'd worked hard to barricade. Talking to Matt dragged her right back to Hell's Kitchen, the countless hours spent at Nelson, Murdock & Page, memories she'd fought hard to bury for her own survival.
Her throat tightened without warning, forcing it loose through a hard swallow. "Work's going alright," she managed, steadying her voice. "As good as work can be."
Her gaze dropped to her hands then, nails pressing crescent moons into her palm, ritual as much as reflex. She was bracing herself. With Matt, it always came to this: the swell of unspoken feelings rising until they broke, spilling into conversations that went in circles, never finding resolution. Stubbornness bound them both, unyielding yet familiar.
"I've been thinking about you, about Foggy," she admitted finally, words barely above a whisper. The silence that followed was heavy, threatening to suffocate her under its weight. His name alone was enough to change the air between them, for grief to surface, the kind neither of them had learned how to ease.
hearing his name put him right back there. on the roof of josie's bar , listening to his best friend's heart stop beating. matt leaned against the wall , trying to remember how to breathe again.
closing his eyes , he sucked in a sharp breath. “ yeah , me too. you and him. ” the words are short , choked.
he prayed for them every morning , begged god for forgiveness before bed. stepping foot into any church was still ... a work in progress. grief was still fresh there , too. no matter how many years passed , it was impossible not to take the blame.
father lantom was too good of a man for a death like that. matt sunk down against the wall , sitting on the floor in defeat. “ every day , if i'm honest. ”
Working with Matt comes so naturally it almost feels like they've spent no time apart at all. Nelson, Murdock & Page had lasted a good eight-ish years ; when he mentioned old paperwork down in Frank's bunker, offering to be his eyes was a no brainer. Workplace synergy. That, and the fact Karen wanted answers just as badly as he did.
There's a slightly awkward air about the silence settling between them, but flashlight in tow, ignoring it isn't too difficult with the task at hand. ( Throwing herself into work is, after all, her go-to coping method. It's precisely what she was doing in San Francisco for the last year-and-a-half. ) Then the familiar voice of her friend breaks it and she finds herself pausing, sucks in a breath.
"Yeah." A beat. "Me too."
She remembers a decade ago now how Sister Maggie entreated her to find strength and hold on. Back then, Foggy himself had told her Matt needed them the most when he was pushing them away the hardest. In the pits of grief — real grief, because unlike Matt's fake-out where she always suspected he was still alive somehow, she had watched the life leave Foggy's eyes — such advice proved much more difficult to follow.
The fact of the matter was that she'd let him down just as much as he'd done to her. And considering the night's close call, the way news of Poindexter's escape had instilled in her such a knowing that within minutes she'd booked a flight and called in a favor with the Punisher, Karen feels a push not to leave things unsaid.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Matt. I get it, I... I do." She glances his way briefly before resuming her search. "I'm sorry too. Refusing your calls wasn't my proudest moment."
leaning against the wall , he settled a hand over the gunshot wound. the pain was finally slowing him down , but it didn't much matter at this point. they had a second here.
slow breaths , that's all he needed.
“ i forgave you before you even bought a plane ticket. none of it's easy. ” grief had a way of ruining everything , even if matt didn't want to believe it at first. it tore him apart every single time , why wouldn't it be able to do the same to their friendship ?
foggy was her friend too , she had the right to handle it how she needed to , just the same as he did. “ either way , i'm really glad you're here. didn't expect frank to be involved , but still. ”
#CIRCUSARROW : we fight every night for something when the sun sets, we're both the same half in the shadows, half burned in flames we can't look back for nothin'
carrd + ©
★ ⋆ “Matthew 5:39….’But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.’” A sad sigh left her. “Easier said than done I suppose.”
open starter. ★ mutuals only
listening to everyone in church was ... inevitable. it was something he'd done since he was little , but it wasn't like he could turn it off either way. god's plan was for him to listen.
in this case, at least he had been in a normal hearing distance. he couldn't help but grin , “ ah , haven't heard that one since grade school. did happen daily , though. curse of being a matthew myself , i suppose. ”
a hand vaguely gestured to the general direction of the seat next to her , “ would you mind some company ? ”
Daredevil: Born Again Season 1 Episode 09 - Straight to Hell
There was no real rhyme or reason for her call, at least not one she could name. She half expected Matt to let it ring through to voicemail, so when he answered, it caught her off guard. The mere sound of his voice stole the air from her lungs.
She thought about hanging up, thumb poised above the screen as if the small act could save her from sounding foolish. Yet the silence stretched too long, thick and unbearable, until the words forced their way past her lips.
"...I don’t know. I just wanted to hear your voice - to know you're okay." Her tone was quiet, but firm, a steady resolve she always managed to find.
her voice alone is enough to shake something in his core. something deep , a pain he kept buried so far down it threatened to choke him now. a swell of regret , of misery --
it's worth waiting through the silence. “ i , uh. ” matt cleared his throat , bit down on any emotions that felt too big. “ yeah , i'm - i'm about as close to okay as i can be. you ? how uh , how's work ? ”
the redhead stood now , pacing his apartment. it was the only solace in a conversation that felt - neither of them were really ready for it. not what it would inevitably come to. dancing around it was fine , but it wasn't something that lasted forever.
" 'Tch'yeah. Always the saint, never the sinner, huh, Red?"
His eye could be soft, sometimes. He'd been soft for Karen more times than he liked to admit it. He was soft for Maria and the kids; that was another man, one that was capable of a range of human emotions outside if guilt and rage ... disappointment. The beast that stood by watching Matt now had cold, nearly black hues that were almost forensic in how they examined the state of him. His stance slacked in slight -- one leg bearing all of his weight while the rifle rest against his shoulder -- and he let himself really exhale for the first time since he'd donned the vest tonight. His memento mori.
"Y'don't wanna know the details. Not for any good reason, an' I'm not in the mood for a lecture about my methods."
Finally he looked away, almost as if a spell had been interrupted, and Frank ran his tongue over his teeth. They didn't taste like blood, a good sign that he hadn't caught a fist or an elbow tonight.
"Cheek'll prob'ly need stitches. Unless you want a scar your clients'll ask questions about."
matt's laugh is all too bitter , “ yeah no , i'm nothing close to a saint either. ” frank loved throwing around 'altar boy' and 'choir boy' , but at the end of the day they were both men who craved violence.
cut from the same blood-stained cloth. whether matt wanted that or not , it didn't matter. it was just the unfortunate truth they played out day to day.
“ at least put the gun down , i'm not expecting company. ” he had a medkit splayed all over the table, supplies every which way. some used, some torn open in preparation.
his cheek ... yeah , it did need stitches. he could feel the skin tear further by moving his jaw. cringing slightly at the sensation , matt reached for a needle. “ perks of being blind is having an easy excuse. i fell , or i missed a step , or -- ”