Diary of Singlehood

Hey everyone, my name is Bekah (she/her). I'm a 27 year old single woman who is struggling with self love. I have so many thoughts, feelings and emotions and I need an outlet to express this emotional rollercoaster through a creative way. I'm approaching that quarter-life crisis and life has never been shittier. So get ready to dive into my diary spoken out loud.

[adviceformefromme]

All those times you ignore yourself, what your body is telling you when something feels off with the guy that looks good on paper, or choosing to ignore your needs when it comes to friends, putting them above you, agreeing to things you know in your heart you absolutely do not want to do.... This is how you are truly blocking true love and abundance in your life. People pleasing energy will keep you in the gutter. And this is because you are not meeting yourself in your deepest depths. You are saying, my needs don’t matter, what my body, my intuition, my soul is telling me does not matter…And with this, people, men, family will treat you in such a way because this is the energy you are mirroring out. 

To heal this you need to start asking yourself some honest questions. 

1] Where am I ignoring my truth? What is my body telling me about the people close to me that I am choosing to ignore? It might be those gossiping calls with your mom that feel soooo low vibe and you know you don’t want to engage but you continue to, or the guy you are head over heels with, but you know in your heart is treating you below par. There will be unique situations in your on life where you ignore your truth. Now is the time to get honest with yourself. No more ignoring the truth.

2] Once you have identified the situations, you need to make some fucking changes. This is so crucial for your growth and expansion. You need to find the courage to start saying no to those things your body, your intuition, you know in your soul are absolute NO NOs. Find the courage to say no to the friend who causes you anxiety (since when did having friends that are so out of alignment with you become the norm), say no to people who want things from you that you don’t feel comfortable to give, say no to the guy calling you late that completely disturbs your sleep and ruins your plans the next day because you are too tired. Learn to say no. Honour what is inside. This is how you transform and meet yourself with respect and self love. It's a journey of honouring your no's. The more you can say no each day, the more you can protect your energy and have space and peace to show up in your highest vibration.

[thatpinkkwitch]

i just heard the phrase “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more

[recomvery]

Reminder that you're actually interesting. Your hobbies are interesting, your interests are interesting, you are important and loveable and people appreciate you. You're just a loveable, interesting person.

[batri-jopa]

I have been inviting people who think they are single at heart to answer lots of questions, in their own words, about their life and how they realized they were single at heart. (You can find the questionnaire here if you want to share your stories.) Some have told me that for the longest time, it just never occurred to them that it was fine not to want to be coupled. Some worried that something was wrong with them because they were so drawn to single life. It was a new concept to them that if they are thriving as a single person, then there is nothing wrong with them at all. Single life may well be the best life for them, and it is pointless and even counterproductive to go through the motions of searching for The One. It is a waste of their time and emotional energy, and potentially hurtful to the partners they will most likely end up leaving.

Bella DePaulo Ph.D.

People who are not singles don't understand why this theme is such a big deal to me. Like we're not opressed so it's made-up problem to them. Well, I guess someone who never tried themselves the brainwashing experience of "feeling bad for feeling good" to adjust to social expectations - might not understand how it feels to finally shed the shame of simply enjoying your own life...

Commitment Phobic, Or Is Single Life a Better Life for You?

When “wrong” choices suggest something very right about how you want to live

[batri-jopa]

I have been inviting people who think they are single at heart to answer lots of questions, in their own words, about their life and how they realized they were single at heart. (You can find the questionnaire here if you want to share your stories.) Some have told me that for the longest time, it just never occurred to them that it was fine not to want to be coupled. Some worried that something was wrong with them because they were so drawn to single life. It was a new concept to them that if they are thriving as a single person, then there is nothing wrong with them at all. Single life may well be the best life for them, and it is pointless and even counterproductive to go through the motions of searching for The One. It is a waste of their time and emotional energy, and potentially hurtful to the partners they will most likely end up leaving.

Bella DePaulo Ph.D.

People who are not singles don't understand why this theme is such a big deal to me. Like we're not opressed so it's made-up problem to them. Well, I guess someone who never tried themselves the brainwashing experience of "feeling bad for feeling good" to adjust to social expectations - might not understand how it feels to finally shed the shame of simply enjoying your own life...

Commitment Phobic, Or Is Single Life a Better Life for You?

When “wrong” choices suggest something very right about how you want to live

[diaryofsinglehood]

Dear diary...

11:30 pm Sat Feb 10th 2024

Messages to my Friend

What I'm realizing about what I'm lacking in the love department is more to do with my lack of community and family in my life. How can I build love all by myself? How can I be my own family?

[diaryofsinglehood]

Where are you, my someone?

As Valentine's Day approaches I can't help but feel resentful for everyone who's in a relationship. When will it be my turn?

These are the thoughts that were stewing inside of me as I tried working on my manuscript today.

[recomvery]

Hating yourself is exhausting and stealing all your joy. Who cares? Who cares if you're not the next topmodel, who cares if you're not the beauty standard, who cares if men don't throw themselves at you, I have loved many times and it was always faces who told a story, who looked interesting and different and unique and those were the people that were the most beautiful in the world to me. It doesn't matter how you look. The right people will find you stunning anyways. It's what makes you interesting.

[diaryofsinglehood]

Visit Original Link

[Photo of me in Grasslands National Park.. by myself!]

31 January 2024

Welcome to another entry of the Diary of Singlehood.

In today's episode, I go on a "walk-n-talk" because I thought my thoughts would come out better on a walk. While they did, I was also super distracted by the cars and people so if I seem a bit less present and less communicative, that is why. I was also speaking off book without a script in mind so I found it harder to say everything I wanted to say. However I think it's important to speak freely because all of these feelings of confusion, frustration, and bitterness towards others are everything you feel when you're low in confidence and major PMS-ing.

Until next time,

Bekah

[diaryofsinglehood]

Okay I was hesitant to make this because I feel EXPOSED but I also really wanted to put this out there in the world 🙈 I heard this song and had a compulsive yearning to make a video of it because why the fuck not 💪🏽 💯 I wanted to compile footage of everything I am and everything I've done to feel empowered out here. Lifes hard out here in singletown and I want to see more people showing their vulnerability #beabadbitch😛✨❤️

[diaryofsinglehood]

"I'm going to soak up the sun. While I'm still free... I'm going to soak up the sun. Before it goes out on me.."

I changed the lyric because there's so much meaning here. As single women we should soak up our singlehood before it's taken away. Before things change. Soak it all up and live through it all. Don't dwell on it. Thrive in singlehood ❤️

[diaryofsinglehood]

I was reading Gathering Moss by Robin Wall Kimmerer - an icon in biology. And when I read this section I began to think... Wouldn't life be so much better if we could choose to become moss? In another life I would love to become moss. So I wouldn't ever have to deal with the bullshit of men.

I would never have to rely on a man to succeed. However life and love is much more complex and dynamic in human life compared to plants, moss and fungi.

[diaryofsinglehood]

Visit Original Link

Welcome to my first diary entry. These are 9 commitments that I have for myself that I vow to take seriously. These are non-negotiable commitments. I've dated a lot of asshole douchebags, emotionally abusive, and non-committal men that have affected my self-worth. With these commitments, I hope to change my feelings of self-worth and self-love and regain myself.

It's rough living in singlehood and in general, life in my late 20's, so I wanted to outline what I need to do to live the most fucking amazing life while being young and single. Until next time..

Music: The Diary - Christian Larssen