Mr. President, the gates have been watered.
What should we do?
FUCK NOT AGAIN!!!
help me, @royfroggycohn!!!!
RMH
wallacepolsom
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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Peter Solarz
Keni
Claire Keane

JVL
dirt enthusiast
tumblr dot com
Not today Justin
$LAYYYTER

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Love Begins
we're not kids anymore.
🪼
cherry valley forever
noise dept.
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★
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@dickpresident
Mr. President, the gates have been watered.
What should we do?
FUCK NOT AGAIN!!!
help me, @royfroggycohn!!!!
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 22
Sexy Ronald Reagan (@sexyronaldreagan-official)
Xibalba (The Book of Life)
@sexyronaldreagan-official
LOCK THE FUCK IN!!!!!
Vote for my dear friend Sexy Ronald Reagan!
Do it for America! 🇺🇲🗽🦅
I hope you all are happy, my boyfriend left me. Something about my "obsessiveness" with this blog. And my "brain dead takes" being too embarrassing.
Absolute worst moment of my twenties!
Can't believe you all hate me, the mod, so much 😔
I even complimented your front facing hunter eyes
Hi, the mod of @nixon-official here. And I just want to say that I feel your pain. Running my gimmick blog has irreparably damaged my social and professional life.
My husband of 10 years just walked out on me. I should have seen the warning signs that my fixation on running my gimmick blog was interfering with my wifely duties. He would sigh loudly as I would tell him that I hadn't had time to cook dinner or wash dishes or do our laundry because I had been spending my time editing a hilarious Nixon meme for the blog.
But I think the nail in the coffin came last night when my husband and I were becoming intimate with each other. We were making out, and he slipped me some tongue, and I just couldn't help myself: I burst out in a Nixon voice, "Tongue-kissing is a Communist PSYOP! Nixon declares War on Tongue-kissing!" I awoke this morning to find that most of my husband's belongings were gone. He left me a note telling me to expect divorce papers in the mail shortly.
I had already lost my job at the bagel shop for yelling at customers and calling them anti-American communists. April rent is almost due - I don't know how I'm going to support myself.
It's literally so hard, running a harmless gimmick blog 😔
Hi. Mod of @nixon-official here again. I wish I could celebrate 6 months of brilliant shitposting. But I must confess, it is all too bittersweet.
My divorce with my husband is taking an enormous toll on my mental and emotional health. The way the man who was supposed to love and care for me 'til death do us part shamelessly spreads lies about me in court. Accusing me of having an affair because I called him "John" in bed one night. (I explained it to him! When I called him "John" it was because the Nixon persona took over and mistook him for J. Edgar Hoover.)
The heartbreak of losing my husband was bad enough. But I figured, hey: I'm broke. There's no way this divorce will wind up costing me, if anything, it would be my husband paying me alimony. Sure, I had the job at the bagel sandwich shop, but I lost that job shortly after my husband left me. And besides, my husband was always the bigger earner out of the two of us. I relied upon his income; he didn't rely upon mine!
But... I feel like a goddamned fool! They're trying to say I owe my ex-husband $50,000 in alimony payments! And it's all because I thought I could turn this whole Tumblr Nixon thing into a small business. I know, it sounds completely absurd, and I sound like an absolute numskull for ever thinking this way. I even filed an s-corp on LegalZoom when I accidentally took too much diphenhydramine one night. And so because I'm technically a small business owner now, they're trying to make it out like I'm some big earner. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE LITERALLY ONLY LOST MONEY TO THIS VENTURE! I HAVE NOT EVEN EARNED A DIME FROM IT!
I've already had to cash out my only 401K I have from my brief stint working at the mental health factory a few years ago just to pay the bills... I have no idea what kind of tax penalties I'm going to be looking at next April. I've maxed out all my credit cards...I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life. You can't squeeze blood from a stone...but I guess they're going to try their damnedest.
Literally none of this would have happened if I never started that bloody Tumblr gimmick blog!
Dick Nixon feels your pain.
Hannibal Lecter is not human. In the TV series he has super sense of smell to the point of being able to smell a brain disease that Will Graham has.In the movie he managed to convince other cell mate to commit suicide by swallowing his own tongue while being separated with a wall and having no eye contact with him.Also also we never see Hannibal being training any martial arts, yet he is manages to defeat an FBI captain. Also also, the manipulation skill Hannibal has is beyond any explanation.
I often feel I am something Other Than Human.
I too am Becoming.
I need people reblogging this without context to know that this is literally a quote from the tv show Hannibal.
Nixon feels your pain.
if I wanted to serve a non binary gender fuck look inspired by you and your iconic hair
How would I do that?
it sounds like you have a pretty good idea. recreate my hair but in a Gender Color like forest green or blue or neon pink.
drag makeup is a must. accentuate my beady eyes and puckered mouth.
big pearl earrings. big rings. low comfortable heels.
under no circumstances should you shave any part of your body, ever. this is unrelated to the task at hand.
if you want to look more traditionally androgynous (hot!) wear a masc suit with a tie, but keep face and hair feminine.
good luck.
a power suit like mama?
god i look so good here. do whatever i need to look at this picture for a while
slayyyy quuueeeennnnn
”9 likes isn’t a lot” imagine 9 LBJ’s trying to touch you
please no
I like how someone can just say “Miku binder Thomas Jefferson” and thousands of people will immediately know what you mean
But will anyone ever say "Miku binder Richard Nixon"??
I wonder...
personally I'm hoping for "Teto binder Teddy Roosevelt"
oh you're on tumblr.com? name three presidents you've stolen the shoelaces from
What are you, a cop? Come back with a warrant!
Here
don't tell anyone but I stole shoelaces from the 32nd 33rd and 37th president of the United States ...
You thought you could get away with it, huh?
YOU TELL 'EM, SIS!
I like how someone can just say “Miku binder Thomas Jefferson” and thousands of people will immediately know what you mean
But will anyone ever say "Miku binder Richard Nixon"??
I wonder...
Woah mama they deleted my blog but the only thing that can kill the king is drugs and toilets hummina hummina hummina
Elvis-official rides on!
Hi Elvis.
Hello old friend
You...you actually remember me?? 🥺🥺🥺
Of course I do! You're my buddy Dick <3
GODDAMMIT!!!! STOP PUTTING PHOTOS OF PAUL MCCARTNEY ON MY "FOR YOU" PAGE, TUMBLR!!!!!
Nixon-maxxing so hard right now...
Nixon feels your pain.
Hey, mod here! For the record, I do still intend to post a ukulele apology for Watergate. However, it will likely take at least a few weeks for me to actually produce it. I've admittedly been procrastinating on the project, which I tend to do when I find a project somewhat daunting. I'm going to be reading the chapters on Watergate from the book Richard Nixon: The Life by John A. Farrell for inspiration as I'm writing the lyrics:
I will try to give updates on my progress as I have them, as well as sharing interesting facts I learn from reading the book. Also, a reminder that the alt blog for Nixon-Official is @dickpresident in case this account gets banned for some reason.
*meows at you*
BARK BARK!
Easy there, Checkers, I think that cat is friendly!