President Dick Nixon

President Nixon's back-up blog.

[dickpresident]

Mr. President, the gates have been watered.

What should we do?

FUCK NOT AGAIN!!!

help me, @royfroggycohn!!!!

[nixon-official]

How you been doing, old friend?

I've been filled with a sense of overwhelming terror every moment of every day for what feels like the past several months, but what I have been informed has been less than a week. Even sleep offers no escape, as each night, night terrors plague my twisted mind. My good friend F.B.I. director J. Edgar Hoover tells me that this is a normal part of the deprogramming process.

In case you haven't been keeping up with my Tumblr, I recently realized that the wicked communist Paul McCartney (from that European rock and roll band, The Beatles, which is actually a communist PSYOP) was using communist mind-control on me throughout our romantic affair. Fortunately, the F.B.I.'s psychiatric re-conditioning team (under @hoover-fbi's guidance) is working to eliminate the remaining effects the communist mind-control has on my Beautiful, Brilliant Brain!

[hoover-fbi]

Have faith in the process, Dick. It will get easier.

[nixon-official]

I trust you, John. You're the only person I can fully trust anymore.

[the-mothman-officiallly]

You... Don't trust me?

[nixon-official]

I... I think I trust you. Mostly. You were right about Paul McCartney. I just... I don't know. I'm sorry, I trust you, Mothwoman. I just don't trust your communist wife, @daisy-nixon.

[nixon-official]

I didn't mean to hurt you, @the-mothman-officiallly. I've just been going through a lot recently. It's hard for me to trust anyone anymore.

[the-mothman-officiallly]

I understand Richard.

[nixon-official]

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME, MOTHWOMAN!! I NEED YOUR FRIENDSHIP!! PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME!!!!

[the-mothman-officiallly]

Richard!!! I'm not going to abandon you!! I was saying I truly understand!!!

[nixon-official]

Thank you, Mothwoman! I'm so sorry for not trusting you when you warned me about Paul McCartney. You were right. You were right the whole time. I should have trusted you. I feel like a goddamned fool for letting that prettyboy rock and roll twink put the wool over my eyes!

[the-mothman-officiallly]

Romance does horrible horrible things sometimes, Richard.

[nixon-official]

Ain't that the truth!

[dickpresident]

mr preserdent?

Hello, my fellow American! This is my second blog just in case the communist conspiracists in charge of Tumblr.com ban my main blog @nixon-official

[nixon-official]

Can I glitter bomb the wedding?

I dare you. I fucking DARE YOU! Just try to inflict your shenanigans upon what might be the most important political event of the twenty-first century: The marriage between one of the greatest U.S. presidents, one of the most brilliant foreign policy minds of the modern era, and his political rival, another U.S. president (who, let's be real, is frankly totally over-rated and only remembered as much as he is because he got murdered that one time). AND ON THE 250TH ANNIVERSARY OF OUR BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY'S INDEPENDENCE NO LESS!

You and your generation disgust me. Is nothing sacred anymore?? Not this country's history. Not even the presidency!

I'm so fucking fed up with this fucked up filthy Goddamned wicked world!

[escuerzoresucitado]

directly from r/kitchencels

[dickpresident]

STOP BULLYING ME!

[daily-love-and-inspo]

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 22

Sexy Ronald Reagan (@sexyronaldreagan-official)

Xibalba (The Book of Life)

Voting ended onJun 8

@sexyronaldreagan-official

[sexyronaldreagan-official]

LOCK THE FUCK IN!!!!!

[nixon-official]

Vote for my dear friend Sexy Ronald Reagan!

Do it for America! 🇺🇲🗽🦅

[james-dean-official]

I hope you all are happy, my boyfriend left me. Something about my "obsessiveness" with this blog. And my "brain dead takes" being too embarrassing.

Absolute worst moment of my twenties!

Can't believe you all hate me, the mod, so much 😔

I even complimented your front facing hunter eyes

[queenarielviolet]

Hi, the mod of @nixon-official here. And I just want to say that I feel your pain. Running my gimmick blog has irreparably damaged my social and professional life.

My husband of 10 years just walked out on me. I should have seen the warning signs that my fixation on running my gimmick blog was interfering with my wifely duties. He would sigh loudly as I would tell him that I hadn't had time to cook dinner or wash dishes or do our laundry because I had been spending my time editing a hilarious Nixon meme for the blog.

But I think the nail in the coffin came last night when my husband and I were becoming intimate with each other. We were making out, and he slipped me some tongue, and I just couldn't help myself: I burst out in a Nixon voice, "Tongue-kissing is a Communist PSYOP! Nixon declares War on Tongue-kissing!" I awoke this morning to find that most of my husband's belongings were gone. He left me a note telling me to expect divorce papers in the mail shortly.

I had already lost my job at the bagel shop for yelling at customers and calling them anti-American communists. April rent is almost due - I don't know how I'm going to support myself.

[serenity-hope-faith]

It's literally so hard, running a harmless gimmick blog 😔

[queenarielviolet]

Hi. Mod of @nixon-official here again. I wish I could celebrate 6 months of brilliant shitposting. But I must confess, it is all too bittersweet.

My divorce with my husband is taking an enormous toll on my mental and emotional health. The way the man who was supposed to love and care for me 'til death do us part shamelessly spreads lies about me in court. Accusing me of having an affair because I called him "John" in bed one night. (I explained it to him! When I called him "John" it was because the Nixon persona took over and mistook him for J. Edgar Hoover.)

The heartbreak of losing my husband was bad enough. But I figured, hey: I'm broke. There's no way this divorce will wind up costing me, if anything, it would be my husband paying me alimony. Sure, I had the job at the bagel sandwich shop, but I lost that job shortly after my husband left me. And besides, my husband was always the bigger earner out of the two of us. I relied upon his income; he didn't rely upon mine!

But... I feel like a goddamned fool! They're trying to say I owe my ex-husband $50,000 in alimony payments! And it's all because I thought I could turn this whole Tumblr Nixon thing into a small business. I know, it sounds completely absurd, and I sound like an absolute numskull for ever thinking this way. I even filed an s-corp on LegalZoom when I accidentally took too much diphenhydramine one night. And so because I'm technically a small business owner now, they're trying to make it out like I'm some big earner. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE LITERALLY ONLY LOST MONEY TO THIS VENTURE! I HAVE NOT EVEN EARNED A DIME FROM IT!

I've already had to cash out my only 401K I have from my brief stint working at the mental health factory a few years ago just to pay the bills... I have no idea what kind of tax penalties I'm going to be looking at next April. I've maxed out all my credit cards...I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life. You can't squeeze blood from a stone...but I guess they're going to try their damnedest.

Literally none of this would have happened if I never started that bloody Tumblr gimmick blog!

[dickpresident]

Dick Nixon feels your pain.

[nixon-official]

Hannibal Lecter is not human. In the TV series he has super sense of smell to the point of being able to smell a brain disease that Will Graham has.In the movie he managed to convince other cell mate to commit suicide by swallowing his own tongue while being separated with a wall and having no eye contact with him.Also also we never see Hannibal being training any martial arts, yet he is manages to defeat an FBI captain. Also also, the manipulation skill Hannibal has is beyond any explanation.

I often feel I am something Other Than Human.

[red-dragon-official]

I too am Becoming.

[dickpresident]

[killtheboyband-deactivated20220]

[ghaterrecha]

I need people reblogging this without context to know that this is literally a quote from the tv show Hannibal.

[inthefallofasparrow]

[no-one-offical]

‎

[dickpresident]

Nixon feels your pain.

[coquettethatcher-official]

if I wanted to serve a non binary gender fuck look inspired by you and your iconic hair

How would I do that?

it sounds like you have a pretty good idea. recreate my hair but in a Gender Color like forest green or blue or neon pink.

drag makeup is a must. accentuate my beady eyes and puckered mouth.

big pearl earrings. big rings. low comfortable heels.

under no circumstances should you shave any part of your body, ever. this is unrelated to the task at hand.

if you want to look more traditionally androgynous (hot!) wear a masc suit with a tie, but keep face and hair feminine.

good luck.

[ravingcactus]

a power suit like mama?

[coquettethatcher-official]

god i look so good here. do whatever i need to look at this picture for a while

[dickpresident]

slayyyy quuueeeennnnn

[g1pper]

”9 likes isn’t a lot” imagine 9 LBJ’s trying to touch you

[dickpresident]

please no

[wurmhole-bitchpt2]

I like how someone can just say “Miku binder Thomas Jefferson” and thousands of people will immediately know what you mean

[dickpresident]

But will anyone ever say "Miku binder Richard Nixon"??

I wonder...

[theo-dore-roose-velt]

personally I'm hoping for "Teto binder Teddy Roosevelt"

[satan-offical]

oh you're on tumblr.com? name three presidents you've stolen the shoelaces from

[inkanddragons]

What are you, a cop? Come back with a warrant!

[satan-offical]

Here

[perpetual-migranes]

don't tell anyone but I stole shoelaces from the 32nd 33rd and 37th president of the United States ...

[the32ndpresident]

You thought you could get away with it, huh?

[dickpresident]

YOU TELL 'EM, SIS!

[wurmhole-bitchpt2]

I like how someone can just say “Miku binder Thomas Jefferson” and thousands of people will immediately know what you mean

[dickpresident]

But will anyone ever say "Miku binder Richard Nixon"??

I wonder...

[elvis-official-strikes-back]

Woah mama they deleted my blog but the only thing that can kill the king is drugs and toilets hummina hummina hummina

Elvis-official rides on!

[nixon-official]

Hi Elvis.

[elvis-official-strikes-back]

Hello old friend

[nixon-official]

You...you actually remember me?? 🥺🥺🥺

[elvis-official-strikes-back]

Of course I do! You're my buddy Dick <3

[nixon-official]

GODDAMMIT!!!! STOP PUTTING PHOTOS OF PAUL MCCARTNEY ON MY "FOR YOU" PAGE, TUMBLR!!!!!

[dickpresident]