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@didwellenough
human/android wheatley would probably have the worst orgasm faces though. like u can never tell if hes about to cum or has a trapped sneeze
wait but what if hes also aware of this and really sensitive about it. what if he covers his face with his hands a lot because hes afraid he looks dumb. what if he gets really flustered if he hears so much as a giggle. angry even. what if he tries extra harder to shut u up but good
i only have one thing to add to this
Wheatley demonstrates an appropriate way to cite a source.
+wheatley
A warm welcome from her wasn’t what he was expecting. He knew she was still angry about all that he had done, even if it hadn’t really been his intention. “No, no, don’t want to destroy it, its perfectly fine the way it is. And no, I don’t want to go back to space, had enough of that.” He wavered before asking, “You wouldn’t really send me there would you? Wouldn’t be able to survive down there.”
We can put you back into your original body.
[ Her voice sounds distended, disjointed, as she slips into thinking about the merits of her suggestion. ]
You're not curious? We-- I mean, you-- could find me more test subjects! Do you think a shark could survive the acid pool tests?
request from an anon ( yeah i’ll take requests if you want i dunno drop me an ask )
Too Much Space…by AshleyKayley
perfect
+wheatley
Welcome back.
[ She sighs, shaking her chassis. ]
Actually, no, you're not welcome. Come to destroy my facility again? Or was space not enough for you? I could send you somewhere else, if you wanted.
Like the bottom of the sea.
new test subjects
Never once did a response come, it would’ve gotten her nowhere. With the AI, silence was golden and it was all Chell ever returned whilst solving test upon test. It all seemed endless.
Oh. You again.
[ A sigh. ]
The faster you solve these tests, the closer you are to... nothing, really. Keep going.
Why are you even back again? There's literally nothing here for you.
new test subjects
[ It's programmed in her, this inordinate need to explain herself and welcome whoever's waking up from the cryosleep in a pleasant tone.
As if they deserve her compassion. ]
Welcome back to Aperture. You have been asleep for-- hm. A few of you, a long time. Surprise, you're still fat. Congratulations on beating the odds.
You do seem— very efficient, I’ll give you that.
[shitshitshitshitshit]
But I’m generally a pacifist, and a doctor as I said— I’d hate to skew your results.
My efficiency remains at 94%. The 6% is plus or minus, of course, and no robot can run at 100% efficiency.
[ She hums in contemplation, then moves closer, tilting her head to the side. ]
She was a pacifist, too. You think I would let you actually shoot things? You're the most violent thing in here.
Monster. Humans, pah.
[Leonard pales and raises his hands in a placating manner.]
Whoa, whoa— no need to ‘char’ anyone. Look, I’m a doctor, not a guinea pig, okay? Do you have a supervisor, or something I could talk to?
They're dead.
[ She remains immobile, blocking off his exit still. ]
I killed them all. Why would I need them? I am much better than a human could ever hope to be.
… you’ll do your best. [Leonard swallows, and starts thinking about get-away plans.] Not to kill me. [he nods, and takes a few steps backwards.] That’s awful kind of you. Really. Very tempting. But I should find my friends.
You sound surprised.
[ GLaDOS pulls up the emancipation grill behind him, dropping her chassis down behind him to bar his escape. ]
That's an emancipation grill. Taking anything out of Aperture Sciences that belongs to the company will destroy it. As of now, that includes you. So do the testing, or else I'll be forced to clean up your charred remains. And nobody wants that, do they?
I don’t have much use for cake, so it’s not much of an incentive. [he stares back, and then blinks slowly.] That seems like a lot of work, for a single system.
.. don’t you get bored?
Boredom? I don't know the meaning of the word.
[ Cue the tilt of the chassis and a slight hum of curiosity. ]
Besides. I was designed to test. There are more than five hundred robot teams within the Cooperative Testing Initiative alone. One thousand robots. An infinite amount of possibilities.
[ She sounds almost... happy? Uh oh. That's not a good sign. ]
And then someone like a human comes along. And I can never predict what they're going to do. Which makes things... interesting.
[Dorian started at the interface module for a moment.]
I’d rather not become a statistic, actually. [he smiles slightly.] You are.. very sophisticated— do you run through the whole facility?
Yes. I am responsible for both testing and maintenance.
[ She inches closer, staring him down. ]
Statistic? Oh, no. Not at all. I believe that you would have no trouble with the testing. It's just that, at the end, everybody dies. Or gets cake.
Welcome to the Aperture Science Te-- Oh.
[ GLaDOS drops down, looking over the newcomer, and makes a pleased hum. ]
You're not human. How interesting. I wonder if you'll be easier to kill, or harder. Testing will give me the answers.
Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Initiative Centre.
[ Sigh, sigh. How boring. How do you spice up what you've been programmed to say? ]
You will require an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to proceed. But you don't have one. That's a shame.
"You just said it. It’s not like your voice is easy to ignore.”
[Jim didn’t like this android, if that was the proper label for her. But then again, was that a hint of a sense of humor he heard? It was a start, anyway. He could work with that.]
"Only two options here? That’s not very welcoming… how about a counter offer? You and I chat- it must be lonely here, sending people to theirs deaths all the time."
Talking is boring. Like you.
[ The floor of the entranceway tilts up, guiding the human towards the entrance. ]
I don't like being bored. So you can do the tests, or I'll be forced to kill you sooner. Those are the only options.
