What a Bood™

he/they and hella gay. I play sax and cry a lot (I'm Aussie btw) follow me on insta @delilah_and_co or @writingmylifeaway

[warpedlamp]

Bass guitars are the power bottoms of music

[coolxatu]

[hairbrush9]

space shit is cancelled until we solve homelessness and poverty

[transhumanist-viking-deactivate]

I mean, the military budget of the USA is around 824.6 billion. 

NASA’s budget is only 18-19 billion

It’s estimated that to end extreme poverty would take 175 billion dollars

Clearly, it’s space stuff that’s taking up all money that could otherwise go to help people. 

[thebibliomancer]

We can’t cut the space budget. We need it to launch the billionaires into the sun

[lyjerria]

women don’t fucking like being compared to one another. stop doing that shit

[gracklesong]

Idg why people are against busty women in turtlenecks, literally who cares if you have “uniboob”? To whom do you owe separate and defined titties? Only cowards and fools fear the breast monolith

[dragon-in-a-fez]

do you ever just suddenly learn there’s apparently a whole Discourse you’ve never heard of before

[g75bxcjh]

I remember once my grandma was like “DEAR it looks like you have ONE LARGE BREAST” and I asked her if she actually thought I really actually had one large boob and she was like “well no of course not but someone else might”

and im like would they ?? would they really?

[makestheworldtastegood]

[imabrickshithouse]

I just wanna say good morning to whomever made.

[emilysidhe]

Baby It’s Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse. 

[dont-spoop-yourself]

Explain?

[emilysidhe]

OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan.  People debate strenuously over whether it’s a scene of Lady M pressuring her reluctant husband into it, or whether it’s a scene of her sensing, due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do, and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, “Go on, get the cheesecake, it’s your birthday!”  Readers and scholars disagree strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images that advanced opposite interpretations even though they’d seen the exact same actors do the exact same performance.  It’s a big deal.

In the same way, the Baby, It’s Cold Outside discourse is about whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it’s a woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors wouldn’t talk, and him responding, “Stay, baby, it’s cold out!  No one could expect you to go home in this!”

[ms-demeanor]

I really don’t know (baby stab his side) King Duncan’s a bro (baby cut through his hide) I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?) This plan ain’t so great (But what a king you’d make!)

The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!) His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.)

I’m not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave) But I’d be a good king (Now you’re starting to think)

The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught) Say, love, what do you mean (You’d make such a king)

I simply must go (baby cut through his hide) There’s a war on you know (baby cut through his hide)

But what of his wife? (And what of his life?) It feels like bad luck (But that don’t mean much)

I’ve got a bad premonition (And I’ve got a mission) But that’s just superstition (My love, you’re a vision)

The witches said I’d rule (If they lied they were cruel) So baby let’s stab Stab his siiiiide!

[jenroses]

this is absolutely perfect. 

[techonlogy]

Me to my wife on our 25th wedding anniversary: so.. We’ve been hanging out a lot the past few years and.. Idk like….. What are we?

[earthdad]

no one can make me moan quite like a vanilla coke

[earthdad]

to clarify this i do put vanilla coke in my butthole

[haiku-robot]

to clarify this i do put vanilla coke in my butthole

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

[earthdad]

i’d die for you haiku robot

[dadstielkline]

Castiel: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? 

Castiel: Honestly, I would be excited just to have a bunk bed.

Dean: Cas, no.

[spoken-not-written-deactivated2]

the next time you think you’re lonely, just remember you have about 25 billion white blood cells in your body protecting your sorry little ass with their life. you have 25 billion friends who would die for you. no need for tears.

[splendude]

thank you osmosis jones

[jordannwitt]

My immune system tried to kill me though.

[benito-cereno]

Jordan just remember you had twenty five billion enemies trying to kill you and you’ve survived them all

[jordannwitt]

Take THAT you tiny goddamn sons of bitches. 

[deansurvived]

At 17, I was a depressed teenager who self harmed and wondered about just how painful it could possibly be to end my life.

Right now, I’m laying on the couch, and I can hear my husband reading our four year old a bedtime story using silly voices.

Life gets better. Make sure you’re there to see it.

[wxstfull]

I just started crying.

this is very important

[glanzlichter-deactivated2018110]

This post saved me so many times tbh

[notcasuallyblackfire-deactivate]

Me: “I don’t kiss and tell 😉”

Also me:

[sickjacket]

if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious

[malelavellan]

hey duck

[malelavellan]

youre no good duck

[malelavellan]

youre never gonna be shit

[malelavellan]

ya just like ya fatha

[silverhawk]

mdlksdfsd my fave thing is when ppl outside of florida ask “how do alligators even get in ur pools??? how do they get into ur yards???”

alligators can climb fences. they do this a lot

[silverhawk]

@ the replies - absolutely alligators can climb fences!! chain link fences are easier for them bc they can get a grip on them, but yep alligators climb fences to get into peoples pools + canals + backyards

i would like to add that alligators wont chase you/attack you unless you provoke them, but yes they absolutely climb fences and ladders and basically everything all the time

[hellboundhayden]

Yo, okay, stop tellin boys that their height is funny if they’re short. Stop rebloggin things about boys who are under 6ft tall with the intention of laughing at them.

Stop telling boys to man up.

Stop telling boys that they should just move on and get over emotionally/physically traumatic experiences.

Stop telling boys that their girlfriends are “always right because women are always right.”

Stop making fun of boys for parts of their body that they were literally just born with an HAVE no control over.

BOYS. NEED. EMOTIONAL. SUPPORT. TOO. BOYS. HAVE. BODY. IMAGE. ISSUES. TOO.

Fuck.

[hemingay]

100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person