whomst

she/her, suppressive person

[dont-spoop-yourself]

Everyone, idk, go have a weird threesome or something

[captain-price-returns]

american conservatives when spending 40 years desensitizing americans to violence means americans are also desensitized to violence when it's targeted at them

[mysterypuppys]

when you’re already in a bad mood and then you see a man with a stupid fucking mustache

[poison-ivy-im-far-from-good]

[rexuality]

i have a story for you, tumblr. last year my coworkers and I were riding in a golf cart at a music festival passing out drinks to people, because the festival had been cancelled that day and everyone was trying to make the best of a bad situation. after some time we spot a guy on the other side of the road dressed as lord farquaad, walking alone. we yell, “LORD FARQUAAD! DO YOU WANT A DRINK??” dude yells an affirmative, walks into the road without looking, gets hit by a fucking car, and goes flying.

I really need you to picture a lord farquaad being dummy yeeted into the air by an incoming vehicle while a golf cart of inebriated, glitter and mud plastered coworkers are full-on horror movie screaming together. before we can even process this, lord farquaad gets up like 🤪 how bout that drink?? completely okay, utterly unphased, red hat and bob wig still locked the fuck in. we check on him several times, all talking over each other, and while he’s calmly and pleasantly assuring us he’s fine, he passes each one of us a tiny jesus figurine. he bestows a “god bless you all” and then resumes his jaunt, drink in hand.

after that we drove in total relieved hysterics, the kinda laughter that only happens when you narrowly avoided catastrophe. and i have NO idea if the driver that hit him even said a word because my entire consciousness in that moment was farquaad, there was only farquaad. I hope that he reads this one day and knows that he is STILL talked about and regarded as some sort of festival cryptid. we are blessed indeed

[userarmand]

“That's the most contact I've had from him in a while.” [via tvinsider]

[disorientation]

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

[butchfagminotaur]

the sims will never not be one of the funniest games on the planet

[probuccalfat]

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

[dont-spoop-yourself]

@thedoommerchant

[mothcrumbs]

i cant stop saying "grisp it"

[mothcrumbs]

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[pealeii]

HOLLY MARCH SPECIAL ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[annabellioncourt]

I need hot topic (specifically them, For The Bit) to carry a plethora of tour merchandise for Lestat as if he was a real musician.

[gothiccharmschool]

YES. YES, DEAR GOD YES.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

[walkingeverywhere]

Generally I think straight men should not say faggot but this trea turner (baseball player) tweet is so fucking funny that it’s allowed I think

[dont-spoop-yourself]

The CNA text book I'm reading says you're supposed to squat to talk to people in wheelchairs which seems insanely patronizing to me??

[valtsv]

anyone who thinks dostoevsky's writing is dry and humourless is missing out on passages like this

[valtsv]