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Preparing for Bad Times or Emotional Crises

People often ask me how I prepare for the bad days, whether that’s triggers, anxiety spikes, emotional breakdowns, or those heavy, dark periods. Here’s what works for me. We’re all different, but maybe these ideas can inspire your own plan!

1. Practice skills when you’re not in crisis I practice my DBT and grounding skills regularly, even when I’m doing okay. Trying them when I’m calm makes it easier to recall them when I’m not.

DBT’s Distress Tolerance skills are especially helpful for immediate emotional crises.

Breathing exercises? Grounding techniques? Try them when you don’t “need” them so they’re ready when you do.

2. Make a crisis note on your phone I keep written instructions for myself, including:

Step-by-step grounding techniques

How to handle harmful urges

How to challenge spiraling thoughts

When I’m overwhelmed, I can forget everything I “know.” Writing it down when I’m calm means I only have to remember to open the note and not the individual steps when I’m overwhelmed and my brain is spiraling.

3. Keep a self-care box and comfort items Having everything ready makes it way less overwhelming. My box has:

Small things that usually calm or cheer me up

Links to favorite feel-good videos

Sensory or grounding objects

4. Save proof that people love you I keep screenshots and letters from loved ones. In crisis, I might forget they care or I can’t bring myself to reach out. Looking at those reminders helps. I also keep lists of things people have done to show they love me.

5. Make a crisis plan Know your patterns. What happens to you in crisis? What’s hardest? Write down how you want to respond and what tools you’ll use. Here's my activity for making a crisis plan.

Some other tips:

Be prepared to manage urges safely

Create a safe physical space or even a “safe place” in your mind

Think ahead about the support or tools you’ll want nearby

The key is to prepare when you’re not in crisis. Bad times are easier to face when you already have the steps, tools, and comfort ready to go. Your future self will thank you.

perequiste

go on more walks. walk for no reason. walk to solve a problem. walk to blow off steam. walk to get outside. walk to listen, read, and learn. walk to escape distractions. walk to improve your health. walk to think. a simple walking habit can change absolutely everything.

fandom-trash-goblin

we've got a life to love living.

liones-s

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

volatilevale

I FUCKING LOVE GETTING BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T JUST WANNA STAY MISERABLE BECAUSE IT'S EASIER THAN HAVING HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO MAKE THE ACTIVE DECISION TO PULL MYSELF AWAY FROM SELF-HARMING HABITS TIME AND TIME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'D RATHER HAVE THE AGONY OF GROWTH THAN THE DULL ACHE OF STAGNANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lelif

the beauty of life

- // @fairycosmos // ? // - // @cassidyshotchocolate // - // - // elsie de wolfe// @podencos // afternoon on a hill, edna st. vincent millay// rien ne va plus, margarita karapanou, tr. by karen emmerich// - // - // @ annalauraart on instagram// culpable, joy sullivan// - // @ jordanklancaster on instagram// @ niall.breen.comics on instagram// agatha christie// @plasticlove1984 //sweeter than fiction, taylor swift// the summer day, mary oliver

lizormianillustration

whatever was left, that was ours for a while.

sunrise - louise glück

thisus3rhaspass3d-deactivated20

Nobody tells you how hard it is to rewire your brain so you can allow amazing things to happen to you after so much trauma or hurt. Blessings exist, good people exist, a softer life exists. Let it happen.

lelif

on survival

-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits

lovely-v

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

lovely-v

It’s like. When I was told to “just be yourself” as a kid I thought it was a passive thing. Like oh easy I just have to sit here and be myself. but the reason so many people think that “being yourself” is bullshit advice is because you actually have to make active choices to do this and it WILL make your life way more fun. You have to wear t-shirts of bands that were popular ten years ago because you like them. You have to do your hair in a way that you find cute or comfortable even if it’s “so nineties”. If your friend says a food you enjoy is gross to them, you can’t be afraid to admit you casually disagree. You have to do hobbies that you’re interested in even if you’re bad at them and you cant feel like you have to get good at something before you tell people it’s an activity you do. You have to read manga and comic books in public and get piercings your relatives think are unattractive. You don’t have to tell people you dislike that you dislike them, but you don’t have to give them your time and attention either. You have to rewatch that kids show you’re nostalgic for even if you’re in your 30s. You have to change your name if you hate it, even if only a few close friends can know. You have to get fun girly drinks at the bar. You have to order hot chocolate when you don’t like coffee and black coffee when you don’t like sweet things. I am still bad at practicing this but it is the only way to make it all tolerable.

lierdumoa

First you have to realize that "yourself" is a construct built by the decisions you make. Then it becomes clear that being yourself is a deliberate and intentional practice, not a passive state of existence.

lelif

on survival

-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits

twinnedpeaks

journal, august 1st

asteroidtroglodyte

5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

dragonofeternal-old

One of the most important things I’ve learned as a Real Adult™ is the importance of a job half done.

Today I did a load of dishes, wiped off my stove, and swept the kitchen floor. Did I do the best job, or finish every dish? No! My stove still has that caked on caramel that I need to bust out an SOS pad to take care of, one of our big pots is still sitting in the sink, and somehow a kitty kibble unearthed itself while I was wiping down the stove (?? how??).. but the kitchen looks a LOT better. It’s once again an inhabitable, usable space.

Parents, bosses, teachers, even my own self, harp upon absolute perfect completion of a task as the be all and end all of a job well done, but god damn, my kitchen isn’t terrible because I took the time to improve it. Little steps, especially when you’re struggling, are important. They mean a LOT. They are a sign that you won, if only in that brief moment, and they make getting all the other stuff done so much easier later on down the road.