nowhere else
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Sade Olutola
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@theartofmadeline
Jules of Nature
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

JBB: An Artblog!
art blog(derogatory)
ojovivo
d e v o n

tannertan36

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Cosimo Galluzzi

Janaina Medeiros
will byers stan first human second
hello vonnie
noise dept.
Not today Justin
occasionally subtle
NASA
seen from Malaysia

seen from Poland
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seen from United States
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@dirtyheartblues
nowhere else
huge fan of the depth of a good purple but another area that draws me is definitely around aquamarine/turquoise/seafoam. you can not go wrong once the green starts getting just a tinge more blue. a gal could certainly do worse than to pull over there and stay a while
something earth shattering going on here
this is why one of my favorite all-time paintings is Ship in Stormy Seas by Ivan Aivazovsky... he was really onto something there
a close up to just... light shining through those waves, makes me feel faint with exhilaration every time
THERE IS A BOAT BY IVAN AIVAZOVSKY!!
Ivan Aivazovsky could paint glowing water. One of the GOATs for sure.
hey real quick can anybody help me find this image that I’ve seen before here on tumblr. it looks like this
the button doesn’t necessarily say “Elucidate the Rapture” but it does say something that’s kind of lengthy and has religious connotations. the woman pushing the button has an expression of indescribable smugness. there might be other buttons on the machine (?) she is pressing.
FOUND IT
Oh this is only the first image in the Eschatron 9000 Series
and the finale, because of the Tumblr image limit
thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected
I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask “hey i think i saw a weird image once” and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like “oh yeah that’s the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop series” and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images you’ve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema
I can’t explain how but the flying spaghetti monster pic makes the whole photoshoot make sense somehow
Like I was confused until I saw that and then I just thought, “Oh yeah, this is something an FSM proponent would do.”
Lessons from the 90s that children today need
I was innocently buying a soda and a Kit Kat bar from a snack shop recently when the cashier said, "Oh, a Kit Kat! That's what I named my cat!" and then launched into An Monologue.
Nobody was behind me in line, which seemed to be a good reason for her to treat me to a five minute retelling of the identification, rescue, and argument over initial custody of Kit Kat, who was so small they thought when they first heard him crying for help that he was a bird and not a kitten in a tree, and is now fifteen pounds of "pure, sculpted lardass".
And I didn't mind, precisely, I wasn't bored or anything, but around the time she was bringing me up to speed on Kit Kat's current status it occurred to me that this woman is a cashier in a store that primarily sells candy bars and beverages. People must buy Kit Kat bars from her multiple times a day. Does she do this every time there's nobody in line behind the purchaser? Did I just have that I Own Several Cats And Will Enjoy Your Cat Stories look about me? Was it the first time it occurred to her that she sold the brand of candy bar she named her cat after? Was she new to the job of selling Kit Kat bars?
The idea that every time she sees a Kit Kat bar she is gripped by the urge, Manchurian Candidate style, to retell the story of Kit Kat the Cat, elevates her from a friendly cashier to a deep enigma. Truly there is no knowing the mind of another.
IT GETS FUNNIER
I was in the same snack shop, which I'm in, like, once a month, recently. I only recognized her because I spent five minutes listening to this monologue in sincere wonder. But I did recognize her, so as I was buying a soda and a Milky Way bar (this time) I said, without thinking about how this would come across, "Hey, how's Kit Kat?"
She looked genuinely horrified and said, "What...how?"
"Oh fuck!" I blurted. "Sorry! You told me about him last time!"
This is still quite cryptic as responses go but she gave me a frankly frantic look of sudden recognition and said, "He's fine! You bought a Kit Kat! I was unmedicated!"
I did not inform her she is small town famous on Tumblr and instead just said, "Glad you're both doing well!" and we parted as confused and mortified friends.
Gosh she's fun. I hope she's there next time. I want to reenact the Spiderman Pointing meme with her.
Someone requested a doodle of “some of the Dominion’s anti-human propaganda” but tbh this is too real outside of star trek. this is probably plastered over the entire Citadel in Mass Effect
I love that this cautionary pamphlet didn’t know how many nipples humans have and thus just added a bunch of ‘em
They’re mammals, right? So how many nipples do mammals have? Somewhere between 2 and 19?? What the hell are they doing that for???? Awful creatures.
For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.
#every time I read this phrase the same thing happens#I read it as shittable and go wait that can't be right#oh right they were talking about public benches that makes more sense#but public bathrooms available without fees should also be a thing tho#cities should definitely be shittable#it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME
it must also be shittable
What would a Yankee Candle go for in ancient Greece?
tbh the most confusing thing about it to them would probably be the glass that the candle is contained in. They might try to buy information about glass from you.
Yeah basically
Yeah I should’ve clarified (pun intended). They had glass in the ancient world especially in Rome and Egypt but it was basically super heated sand and color additives put in a mold and often looked opaque and kinda lumpy. Even if it was blown like it was in some regions it wouldn’t have looked like modern glass.
Clear blown glass like you’d see a modern scented candle contained in wasn’t invented until the late Middle Ages and certainly wasn’t mass produced until the 1500s and even then places like Venice that had knowledge of these techniques literally forbid their glassmakers from leaving their city or region so other people couldn’t make it, forcing artificial scarcity and making it a very expensive material.
So if you showed a yankee candle to an Ancient Greek, especially one from a city or something, they’d be like burning scented wax okay not something I’d do but it makes sense. Also how the fuck is that glass transparent.
Like imagine if someone brought you something weird but understandable contained in a material that they said was made out of wood and you could tell that it’s clearly made out of wood they’re not lying about that but it was also completely transparent and see through with no visible flaws. That’s about the level of weird we’re talking about here.
It isnt flawless, but transparent wood does already exist actually
What the fuck I feel like a medieval peasant seeing an iPhone
Who goes there
Sometimes it's not "your fault" but it's still "your problem" because nobody else can fix it.
If your history of trauma causes you to respond to totally normal interactions as if you're under threat of violence, you are likely to be a source of trauma for other people, and you should work on that.
It's not your fault that you were traumatized, but you're literally the only person who can fix you.
how am I gonna be an optometrist about this
and if you close one eye
can you tell me what's the symbol on row four
and if you close one eye
I prescribe you one diopter more
you were sat down in front of all our devices
forehead here, I'll project letters around us
in my office next to a Safeway in the city that we love
bright spots are clouding your vision, that's my slit lamp from above...
Brennan, the comrade that you are.
Brennan: "[As you talk about investing in this town] you can watch as their eyes glaze over a little bit --"
Ally: "'Cause they're not staying."
Brennan: "[...] Some of them are talking about San Francisco or Seattle, other far-flung places. In other words, you guys talk about investing in this town ... I think either the kids are like, 'Cool! I'm a Junior. I've got one year left here.' or even if they're not, they're going like 'how long does it take to make a town good?'
You're watching a little bit of youth, and there's something very beautiful in youth in terms of their aspirations. But I think you can see, in the aspirations of many of these young people, there is a single-minded focus on the personal ambitions of their own life.
I will go to where life is good, and when I get there, I will be deemed worthy, and they will welcome me into the place where life is already good without me having to make it good. It is a cultural point of view that is only too familiar to you where they go, "I don't want to get my hands in this place and make it work. It already works somewhere, and someone will open a door and let me in."
In an under two minute description of college students, he's managed to sum up the entirety of my problem with the all manner of folks who ask why anyone stays in a red state when they could leave.
Because I put my hands in!
"But what if people will pretend to need this accessibility option so they can be lazy! People who don't need it will use it!!" I don't actually care
I dont care if 9/10 of the people who use the wheelchair ramp arent actually in wheelchairs. As long as the 1 person who needs it has access to it.
I dont care if 9/10 people who use the automatic push button on the library door can actually push the door open themselves. As long as the 1 person who the door is too heavy for gets to use it.
I dont care if 9/10 people who buy the can tab opener, or the little guitar clamp that holds the chords for you, or the hand grip that helps you hold chop sticks, don't need any of it and just get it to "be lazy". As long as the one disabled person who needs it gets access to it.
I do not care. Oh my GOD I do not care. As long as there's a disabled person on this planet who the accessibility device will benefit, the accessibility device is necessary.
Also, if you're so worried about people being "lazy" by using accessibility devices, MORE worried than you are about disabled (visibly or not) people not having access to them, you have unchecked ableism you need to work through.
Lazy usually means "efficiency driven" or "executive function issues."
We have got to stop using it to imply "malingering".
And yeah, the curb cut effect is great.
It means I can get around more easily in my wheelchair most places, but also large package deliveries are so much easier on the driver.
Jenny Slate, Stage Fright (2019)
Ugly, Bitter, and True by Suzanne Rivecca
John Mulaney on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2020)
“Robin Williams and Why Funny People Kill Themselves” by David Wong
letters from Medea, salma deera
Recovering from autistic burnout as a high-masking adult:
To recover, you literally need to manually learn skills that most people learn as a toddler
You need to learn what makes your body uncomfortable, and what to do to fix it
If you are high-masking, that usually means that you have learned to ignore every distress signal your body sends unless it is a distress signal that a neurotypical person would recognize. People have likely been unintentionally gaslighting you about your lived experience your entire life
If you feel bad or panicked for no reason, stop and try to pay attention to your body. Are you tense? You are likely feeling physical pain somewhere. If you've been gaslit about your pain your entire life, you might not be able to identify it.
Go through a sensory checklist.
SIGHT: Try closing and covering your eyes. If this gives you relief, the lights are probably too bright. You may also need differently-colored lights
SOUND: Cover your ears. Does this give you relief? If so, you may need earplugs or noise canceling headphones. You may also benefit from a neutral or pleasant background noise, like soft music or brown noise.
TOUCH: Are your clothes uncomfortable? Your chair? Your body? Do you feel greasy, like you need a shower? Do you need softer, sensory-friendly clothing?
TASTE: Do you need to brush your teeth or tongue? Would chewing on something help?
SMELL: Is there a strong or unpleasant smell in the room? Do you need to clean or empty a trash can? Would an air purifier help? Would a pleasant smell like a candle help?
INTEROCEPTION: Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? How is your posture? Are any of your muscles tight or sore? Scan your body slowly from head to feet, tensing and loosening each group of muscles. Going for a walk or doing a series of quick stretches may help a lot.
Learning how to do this stuff is not intuitive, if you've had an entire lifetime of gaslighting telling you that everything hurting you isn't a big deal and you're being dramatic over nothing.
This takes time, it takes work, it's not intuitive, and it's hard. Most people forget how hard it is, because they learned this as toddlers.
If you want to recover, you need to relearn your whole body. And get over your idea of "normal" and just wear the damn sunglasses and put on the headphones. If people stare, fuck em. You're disabled and they can deal with that.
What a great post! So helpful.
People often ask me about my unmasking journey and express surprise to hear that such a big part of it has been 1) accepting I must avoid light/the sun and 2) wearing clothes I can stand.
I’ll play it jokey and say it like “well it took me far too long to realize that my former wardrobe made me want to jump off a bridge.” Or “turns out my old underwear was anti-autistic.” Or “for whatever reason when it’s too bright, I can’t think.”
It sounds silly to some people. It’s very hard for the average allistic person to understand how severed I was from what my physical person was feeling. It served me to be disembodied to survive for a long time. Until it didn’t.
eliminating all polyester blends from my wardrobe (and polyester in general) changed my fucking life
When I was in 5th grade a girl told me that “black boys couldn’t be pretty” it took me a long time to see something worthwhile in the mirror
current state of the internet is a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. was chatting with my grandma bout the history of crochet and knitting (and the comparative ages of those respective technologies) and i was like "oh YEAH and also that ancient greek fiber art we partly figured out from chemically testing the scoured bleached pigments of stolen statuary (tumblr knows what im talking about)—gimme 30 seconds to look up the name."
5 minutes and 3 search-engines later i am crying tears of blood screaming spitting blubbering in despair as my grandma attempts to digitally pat me consolingly on the back. the library of alexandria didn't burn it was "restructured" to "increase shareholder profits"
and i STILL CANNOT FIND THE TERM.
i am scouring the internet like the victorians scoured and destroyed all trace of joy and color from stolen relics for the LOST NAME OF THE ANCIENT PROCESS of textile-creation akin to knitting/crocheting/nålebinding that at least one academic/crafter used to recreate the leggings on this Glorious Motherfucker:
the google execs erased it. they bleached my bestie AGAIN from history...
is this of any use
SO IT IS!!!
Archer statue from the Temple of Aphaia (ca. 480 BC) next to a reconstruction of its original paint job:
The leggings and sleeves would have created using a method called SPRANG which predates knitting and is over 3,000 years old. What's even sexier is modern artisans managed to recreate the entire outfit using the original method!
Mmm-HMM, love me a shapely thigh in harlequin hosiery. Put👏men👏in👏clingy-ass👏clothing👏again👏👏👏
Unfortunately english sources are hard to find, partly because Google's a shithole, but also because this textile project comes from a German museum, in Germany, where people tend to speak (and publish) in German. That said, the original link is to a short-but-sweet article I would have had no problem finding in 30 seconds a mere few years ago. fortunately i have clever beautiful insane people following me, but alas not everyone has such luxury. thanks to everyone in the notes who shoved themselves down this rabbithole with me!
in conclusion let us take a moment to sincerely wish Google a very burn in hell🙏
“you came back!”✨🫶
prints