Crusaders with Cupcakes

Scout (they/them). 30. I live in the U.S.

[charl0ttan]

bro u know im keeping the matter clandestine as hell. its totes clandies bro. prommy.

[evilvillain123456789]

You're not allowed to watch morally questionable movies because you're prone to evil and it can corrupt you. Whereas I'm allowed to watch morally questionable movies because I'm such a good person that the movies are actually redeemed by my consumption of them. If I write a favorable letterboxd review the rehabilitative effect is even stronger. But you are still not allowed to watch them in that case. Ok?

[sawed-on-shotgun]

I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces

[sawed-on-shotgun]

like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,

[sawed-on-shotgun]

oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[wertfi-penguin]

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

[geekyhistoriansunite]

[greelin]

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

[yves-and-scessernee]

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

[so-much-to-read-deactivated2025]

[half-giant-fighter]

[walkingeverywhere]

[moshroom]

he had to jump in the ballpit to cool off after getting all airplane ears over a treat puzzle that proved a little too advanced

[moshroom]

he's done this a few times now. the ball pit actively soothes him when he gets mad over puzzles. i could learn something from this

[moshroom]

[copperbadge]

Whaddaya know, an extra hour in the ball pit really does help.

[lamignonette]

[lamine-19]

scientific fact

[necromancelena]

I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days

[necromancelena]

the hole isnt even that bad

[escuerzoresucitado]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[chicknparm]

[xylophonetangerine]

What the fuck does that even mean??

[cipheramnesia]

Guy who's learning about "reading things" for the first time.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

This will be the new tumblr

[minyard-05]

don't let being born a girl stop you from being the man your father never was

[witchrealms]

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