[only-cat-memes]

[goth-queen]

[centers-for-disease-control]

Reminder, I am not the actual CDC so any policy changes that happen are not my doing. I am just a very passionate observer

[the-worm-in-his-head]

They are correct! (Most of) These changes are my doing! I am very busy.

[centers-for-disease-control]

It is important to give credit where credit is due.

[joeyclaire]

hermey the elf was transgender

[joeyclaire]

female elves:

blond hair and small noses

male elves:

no hair and big noses

hermey:

blond hair and small nose

is a trans man

[joeyclaire]

you can be a different gender than the one you were assigned at birth but may god forgive you if you want to be a dentist

[the-floof-king-deactivated20250]

“No daughter of mine will become a dentist!”

“I’m trans actually”

“No son of mine will become a dentist!”

[knghtdan-moved]

who wouldn't fall for that <3

[hollowboobtheory]

so. how bout those files

[hollowboobtheory]

I cannot stress this enough, donald trump has given head to bill clinton

[hollowboobtheory]

[hollowboobtheory]

I really thought there was nothing he could do to surprise me anymore

[hollowboobtheory]

some magat: you know bill clinton is gonna be in the files too

me: nobody gives a fuck about Bill clinton because he hasn't been president for a quarter of a century, dumbass

the files: now pause the movie cause what I'm about to say to yall is so damn twisted

[kira-serialfaggot]

[butterfly-sapphic]

WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I LOGGED INTO TODAY

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[zvaigzdelasas]

It's so cool how autocorrect just changes correct words to wrong ones now

[goth-queen]

[meirimerens]

you're telling me this guy's a bouncer? huh... and what does he bounce on, if you don't mind me asking...?

[sacred-portal]

[low-polly]

scrub daddy: i;m a spoge

[witchboxco]

2025 Witches' Calendar

January 13 ● Full Moon in Cancer (Wolf Moon) January 29 ● New Moon in Aquarius February 2 ● Imbolc February 12 ● Full Moon in Leo (Snow Moon) February 27 ● New Moon in Pisces March 14 ● Full Moon in Virgo (Worm Moon) March 15-April 7 ● Mercury Retrograde March 20 ● Ostara March 29 ● New Moon in Aries April 12 ● Full Moon in Libra (Pink Moon) April 27 ● New Moon in Taurus May 1 ● Beltane May 12 ● Full Moon in Scorpio (Flower Moon) May 26 ● New Moon in Gemini June 11 ● Full Moon in Sagittarius (Strawberry Moon) June 20 ● Litha June 25 ● New Moon in Cancer July 10 ● Full Moon in Capricorn (Buck Moon) July 18-August 11 ● Mercury Retrograde July 24 ● New Moon in Leo August 1 ● Lammas August 9 ● Full Moon in Aquarius (Corn Moon) August 23 ● New Moon in Leo September 7 ● Full Moon in Pisces (Harvest Moon) September 21 ● New Moon in Virgo September 22 ● Mabon October 6 ● Full Moon in Aries (Hunter's Moon) October 21 ● New Moon in Libra October 31 ● Samhain November 5 ● Full Moon in Taurus (Beaver Moon) November 9-November 29 ● Mercury in Retrograde November 20 ● New Moon in Scorpio December 4 ● Full Moon in Gemini (Cold Moon) December 19 ● New Moon in Sagittarius December 21 ● Yule

[kimpossibooty]

[targetedknowledge]

[louisegluckpdf]

i lowkey carry within me an ancient sadness

[dogpuppy]

[spicyblogger2]

My little sister's new boyfriend got a tattoo for her about a month ago and he wanted matching tattoos so he decided to get uh. The tattoo on her ankle of her ex boyfriend's name that she hasn't gotten covered up yet

[spicyblogger2]

She broke up with him but I also just got the same tattoo

[spicyblogger2]

OK my dad also got it

[spicyblogger2]

DYLAN!

[spicyblogger2]

It took five months but we finally convinced my stepmom to also get it

[spicyblogger2]

My fucking manager got it

[eternalcyclicality]