eve

medically interesting mad crip & neuro gal. god never gave me a fucking break! she he they ella elle él. latina.

[disapunk]

eve (not my real name)

I WAS MEOWTICTA DONT FORGER ME...

she he they | non-binary lesbian

eng/esp

tourette's & autism dx, social anxiety disorder diagnosed, medically recognized bpd & ptsd (probably cptsd), in the process of getting a diagnosis for schizoaffective or a psychotic disorder, hypotonic & hypermobile

ʚĭɞ

special interests are, mental health, neurodivergencies and disabilities communities or movements, art & alternative fashion.

ask for discord if u wanna talk or dm me here.

or send asks if you have any questions related to my diagnosis! i like answering stuff.

@sicknessgie is my disability related art acc.

BLINKIES BELOWWWW

[disapunk]

im gonna be in for a ride again, so. im not a hypochondriac. everything i say that i may have turns out reality and i get diagnosed.. but im so fucking Scared rn because multiple sclerosis or fibromyalgia makes so much sense in my head ... i have evry fucking symptom and its been like this for a long ass time, so scared what the hell this is gonna be the death of Me

[disapunk]

i do in fact hate physically healthy people

what do you mean you dont experience pain 24/7, a fatigue so bad you can't leave your bed, nor stand up from it.??????????? what the fuck do you mean

[gursevraq]

im curious what's everyone's First favorite song that u remember having? like the song u ask ur mom to play when ur a child in the backseat of ur car

the first one I can think of is Galileo by the Indigo Girls

[disapunk]

i do victimize myself a lot, i do make myself be sad by how shitty my life was and is.

i think its okay to grieve and tell ppl how awful it was, if they are willing to hear ofc. having the courage to say, as an example ''yes, i was abused, and i felt horribly with it, this is what i experience now because of it, it's terrible'', i like 'playing the victim' because is the only role i knew, and know. i know none of these traumas were my fault, i had nothing to do with them, other than being treated like shit.

i like playing the victim because it brings me comfort, and other people comfort me. i am not your good survivor/victim that feels like these traumas made them stronger and they are super cool and try to get over it. i am weak, i can't leave my house without having a flashback, i cant let people get near me and touch me in certain parts, i cant let people near me and say specific things about me, specific words & phrases, etc, i can't go to certain places. i can't let the traumas go, not yet, i dont think i can let them go away forever. they built me somehow, i dont wanna get over it sometimes, i like the comfort of a victim. you poor thing, because sometimes i didnt even got that from others. though i got a sorry im so sorry, i hate what i did to you. and that's okay i forgave him, i love him, he's like my brother.

yet, while i play the victim all again, i can't help but get disgusted when people call me an actual victim of what i went through, only i get to call myself that, i think. ''you were/are a victim'' ''you went through sexual abuse/assault'' ''damage is already done'' what do you mean i went through that? it's confusing for me, because somehow, while feeling all of this, i actually can't believe those stuff happened to me, it's so. out of touch, what do you mean? i was hospitalized? i could have died? what do you mean i was sexually abused more than two times?? what do you mean she is dead? cptsd is weird, you get all these confusing feelings and thoughts and you do all these weird actions, i don't think anyone can't understand it, other than us

[disapunk]

this cptsd shit kill will you , this tough im OUT !

[disapunk]

i dont know if anyone has seen the snl skit on tourettes, i actually want to kill myself

[disapunk]

Hi, love! I just bought your zine and it is lovely!! I was wondering if im allowed to use the art in it as photos for my presentation on psychosis. I will give you credits, of course!!

Hi of course! You can use it:) I would be honored.

[disapunk]

a painting i did thinking of this post of my own

I was very young, but I had a parakeet. Maybe I didn't realize it at the time, but I like to think that we kept each other company.

When I was diagnosed with Tourette's, I thought the diagnosis would make me feel better, that it would provide an answer. What I felt most was loneliness and such great sadness that it came out in my own vocalizations and movements. I was seven or eight years old.

Did that singing, talking bird feel out of place like me? Did it feel lonely? Did it feel different from other birds? Did we repeat our sounds? Did it identify with me? Did it feel my company? Is there a parakeet out there... a cachaña, a choroy, a tricahue, a mountain parakeet, or a parrot without its flock of birds, that feels the same way I do? That doesn't fit in?

I had a bird that repeated things, that sang, just like me, listening to each other on a frequency that only we could hear and speak.

Maybe I was never like cats, maybe my best friend will always be a bird that talks and sings.

[disapunk]

[disapunk]

acknowledging you have tourettes is so weird, but making peace with it is. wayyy weirder.

like yeah when i was younger i didnt knw what the fuck was happening so i had many mental breakdowns. and even when I Knew with the diagnosis and all it was very fucked up to know i was wayyy different from others and it hurt me.

today is like oh. ''im hitting myself again haha! i remember when i had this tic when i was a child'' and the train thought stops there, ofc i have my times when i hate having tourettes yk, but its no longer a big deal to me since i've been living with it for almost. what. twelve years..? i feel its like living with another person, you get used to it at some point :P

[disapunk]

i hear a weird noise every night when i go to sleep, and it's. awful bc it makes me so anxious that im hallucinating again, and i can't tell if its real or not. but i can only think of those psychotic culture is blogs like hell yeah im not alone in this bs i swear somebody gotta feel this too when they go to sleep

sumth about Communities <3

[party-of-one0202]

So I know it's "scary" and "disturbing" and "uncomfortable" to see someone else experiencing symptoms of schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or psychosis in general, but can y'all just for one single moment, try to imagine what the person actually experiencing it is feeling and going through?

Because I guarantee their fear and discomfort and emotional distress is greater than your distress from witnessing it

[sicknessgie]

sorry i haven't posted in a while: ) i projected on some of em a lot haha

here's a few of my new ocs in the ''disabled & stylish series'' because we can look good, we can be fashionable, we can be attractive while being disabled<3

ideas for new characters are always welcome:) though i'd like to represent more physical/visible disabilities.

-Eve, southern gothic. schizophrenia & cleft lip.

-Francis, oshare kei. tourette's, hypotonia & hypermobile ehlers danlos.

-Aditya, amekaji gyaruo. autism level 2 msn, ptsd & dyskinetic, athetoid cerebral palsy

-Mari, kidcore. scoliosis & adhd.

-Leo, lolita/sweet, gothic and classic lolita. narcolepsy & dyslexia.

-Madelle, pop kei/decora. moderate intellectual disability.

-Nolene, mori kei. right hand amputee.

-Mengtian, hama kei. ocd & dysautonomia.

[disapunk]

hello im looking for people that want representation on their disabilities, i wanna create more disabled characters for this series, so let me know if you have any ideas for a new oc, i need disability/ies - neurodivergencies - psychiatric conditions AND a subculture/fashion style/an aesthetic

[disapunk]

have to choose between for visual arts or occupational therapy,, too different haha but they are my two main special interest. i love art with all my heart is my everything istg i was made to create in this world yet, here in my country.. there isnt many jobs to do when you finish university and finish the career...

i love reading about mental and physical health, I Hate the medical system so much, that if i can change something, if i can change something for the better.. due to myself being disabled, i know how it works, i know how shitty it is for people like me, i want to do it, but i dont wanna regret not choosing arts, because genuinely its everything to me. but i don't have many choices if i study arts..

[disapunk]

ave catita y loros

my momma said i had a parakeet when i was a child,

i was 7-8 when i developed vocal and motor tics.

i felt so out of place, that i couldn't fit in anywhere, i was a bother, i was bothering people with my tics, they used to bully me at school.

but i had a parakeet. i don't know if it was at that age, but i feel comfort, when i think about it, i had a rough time, but i had a parakeet, an animal i could relate to, they sing and talk, they imitate sounds, too, just like me.

maybe i wasnt the only one you know, the very first time i met a person with tourette's too, was at fifteen when i was at the hospital for a suicide attempt, i didnt like him. never saw him again

so far, i haven't met anyone else in person.

did that parakeet feel out of place, just like i did? did we imitated our sounds? did it felt in company, with me? could it relate to me? is there an ave catita, out there in chile; a cachaña, a choroy, a tricahue, perico cordillerano or a cotorra out there without its flock of birds that also feels very lonely? like it doesnt fit in?

so far, parakeets, and any parrots that can talk, are very precious to me now. as i see myself in them.

[tic-loud-tic-proud]

I really like this post, I feel the same sort of connection to talking parrots. I use them as a metaphor when I explain my tics and coprolalia to younger people.

"imagine there's an invisible parrot on my shoulder, but the parrots' voice is my voice"

It helps them understand the idea that the things I say as tics have no meaning or intent behind them.

[disapunk]

(don't worry i don't mind reblogs)

i really like this metaphor, it's great omg, gonna be using it for explaining¡¡

[rabbitbait]

Tourettes representation is so scarce I'm claiming fantastic mr fox and vanellope von schweetz idc