Job hunting in the U.S. is so bleak right now. Every job board looks like:
"MAKE YOUR OWN PATH: Commission based marketing/sales position. Invest your own blood and start making money in 6 months! (stop reporting us as a scam)"
"JOIN ICE. TERRORIZE YOUR NEIGHBORS: $5k signing bonus for first constitutional violation!"
"Be a cop: please?"
"Job that fits most or all of your qualifications: Please submit your application with 700 other people. We will interview three of you. We will hire none of you because the position was filled a month ago and the position below it was phased out. We also sold your information."
Other fun additions
"TRAIN YOUR REPLACEMENT NOW: Help improve AI! Kill the planet."
"We are hiring an engineer but using the wrong job title: Find out at the bottom of the description under 'Skills necessary.'"
"GRIND YOUR BONES TO DUST FOR AMAZON: You will be hired, but will you last three months?"
Don't forget:
"Hey we're hiring! *wink wink nudge nudge* Oh! So sorry we don't think you're a good fit/we just filed the position, but actually the job listing was fake the entire time because we get a tax cut for having an unfilled position!
"Oh good you are perfectly suited for this job and have all the skills, but you don't have a Masters Degree and we need you to have that for our entry level job so we can't hire you."
"You have some of the skills and the right mindset for learning new ones, but we don't want to train you lol."
"Job description is a lie, we actually downsized to grind employee bones to dust, but also what?? no! we're a family here we'd never lock you into employment with our insurance plan!
