Well, I guess that I’m a thing that exists

[digimentals]

AUGUST 1ST 1999 / “Koromon, the Great Clash in Tokyo!”

TODAY IS STILL AUGUST 1ST, 1999

[cravemanga]

“We don’t just have a skeleton,” said one of the nodosaur researchers involved. “We have a dinosaur as it would have been.”

Known as a nodosaur, this 110 million-year-old, armored plant-eater is the best preserved fossil of its kind ever found.

Source | Source

[sighinastorm]

unfathomable

[cloudfreed]

This is maybe the coolest thing I’ve ever reblogged.

[smitethestate]

That motherfucker died giving the side-eye.

[argumate]

eventually we will run out of fossils to find, but damn there are some cool ones

[sometipsygnostalgic]

“No, the TAVROS FANS on REDDIT are the problem!”

I thought it was about time I fully expressed my take on this the only way I can.

[wendell-or-something]

the only way I can accept homestuck 2 at this point is if we’re assuming it’s the in-canon result of all the kids getting together to try and play incredibly meta pseudo DnD where most of them didn’t really learn the rules all the way. Dirk is the DM. at first it was supposed to be cathartic… like a way to work through SBURB related trauma or some shit? but almost immediately, literally nobody was taking it seriously, except for Dirk and kinda Rose? they took the joke way too seriously (think Dirk’s edition of Pony Pals but everybody kinda throws in their own new weird details whenever they feel like it). this can sort of account for all the talk about the story as a story cuz he’s workshopping it as he goes.

Jane being troll racist is probably the result of some bad rolls, but then it became a huge meme among their group, and Jane decided to go ham creating a villainous persona. yes, they use dice. no, there’s no rhyme or reason as to when. some ideas are good/horrible enough that everyone unanimously decides they get a pass, but it’s always the dumb shit where someone’s like “UM. excuse me are you gonna roll for that?!??!!!” Dirk reserves the right to support or veto whatever he wants because nobody really has the patience for him to finish telling them why, so it’s only fair. this is now kind of his pet project anyway.

Jade: I roll to seduce Rose!

Kanaya: *gasp!* >: O

dice: natural 20

everyone: *flips their shit*

Jade (many stunning moves later): oh my god Rose what should we name our baby?

Dave: (yiffyiff)

Jade: (hush)

at this point Rose comes up with several long, complicated names, probably referencing several dead psychologists or philosophers or some shit idk, Jade vetos them because they’re boring.

Dave: yiffers. fuzz mcyiffs. i swear to god jade i give you my best material.

Jade: okay, you know what? fine! her name is fucking Yiffy! are you happy now?!

Dave: full name yiffany longstocking?

Jade: whatever!

Rose: :)

Kanaya: Wait… Did You Two Ever Elect To Inform My Character About This Relationship?

Rose: : |

some people rarely get involved with this anymore… it was initially fun, but now they’re kind of letting their character’s actions be up to everyone else. every once in a while someone will come to them with a wacky hypothetical and they’ll be like “well if I was in that situation, I’d do this” but they aren’t really playing. Karkat mostly gets cliffnotes from Dave after the fact… he thinks it’s all stupid but he still wants to know what happened and won’t admit it.

the divide between meat and candy is a little inexplicable, but I mean if anyone was gonna over complicate things… also, Dirk is dead in one timeline cuz he was like “actually, fuck having multiple selves, that sucks. I roll to kill this Dirk and consolidate all remaining Dirks into just one Dirk.” and then it became a narrative device due to bullshit.

obviously this doesn’t work for every particular little detail, but this is the only way I can imagine these guys having fun anymore, let me have this.

[pizzahutchan124]

Calliope and Dirk had “Creative differences,” so they’re each running separate campaigns.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[friendsrequest]

That's very interesting ma'am but still not a sin

[theliterarywolf]

Honestly, I'd be more mortified over the fact that it was freaking Vampire Knight more than anything else.

But that's just me.

[tiktokmuseum]

read 📖 between 📖 the 📖 lines

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine showing up to work one day and people are like "jesus fucking christ there's a corpse in here", herd you to the back room and everyone who sees you also agrees that there is now a dead body where you are sitting, with the appropriate amount of shock and disgust about it. You figure it's some kind of a prank that they're pulling, but also the people that you know aren't into pranks, or aren't very good actors, are treating you like a corpse. They go weirdly back and forth between talking about you as if you're not there, and politely asking you to stay still while they figure out who you're supposed to call in case of a dead body randomly appearing.

Paramedics show up, study you thoroughly and agree that while they can't see any apparent sign of death, you are, indeed, dead, and ask you to climb aboard the ambulance. You're taken to the temporary corpse storage that hospitals have.

On the way there you ask them whether this kind of shit happens often, and while they won't look at you, the paramedics agree that they've never had a talking corpse before, though they won't question the fact that you're moving on your own.

You're eventually led to a morgue, where you're shown a slab to lay on, and at this point you don't really even question it, you just climb onto the Corpse Shelf and lay down, maybe have a little nap, with no idea what's going to happen next.

Then you wake up to someone walking into the morgue, who has the shit scared out of them when you move, and they're like "dude what the fuck, you're not supposed to be here, this place is for storing dead bodies" and when you're like "aw man sorry I thought I was a dead body" they have no idea whether you're joking and they don't care, you're just chased out of there.

And you just kinda go home and take a shower, show up to work normally the next day and nobody questions it.

And basically that's probably how those ants feel when scientists spray them with the Pheromone That Dead Ants Smell Like, and just hang out at the dead-ant-pile until the smell wears off.

[roach-works]

minor correction: if they don’t hang out at the dead ant pile on their own, they’re repeatedly carried back there by other ants until they stay put.

so it’s like, you go back to work, your coworkers are completely incredulous that this corpse came back, and you’re driven straight back to the morgue. this time you figure, hey, free vacation time, and just lounge around on the slabs catching up on your sudoku backlog until such time as someone else decides you’re not really dead.

[sindri42]

Some of the ants go to the corpse pile on their own, without anybody carrying them or even telling them to. They just realize that they smell dead, and well, they know where dead ants are supposed to be, so probably being there is their job now? It must be very confusing to be an ant that is pretty sure it is dead.

[knightofleo]

Kestrel-dad not sure how to dad but he’s trying his best.

[cold-autumn-sky-deactivated2021]

I love how he pops out of the nest and looks around like “hey babe… babe? Where r u… Babe? I… I have a problem”

[ladydorian05]

Can’t let this addition get lost in the tags:

[a-funyarinpa]

an animation i made of growlithe jumpign around on a playground spinny thing instead of doing hw

[babyanimalgifs]

An adorable little hognose doing their best to become a ring 

(via)

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ohlivish]

[handageddon]

HEY WAIT A MINUTE!! Wasnt there a post like that? Like someone liveblogged being attacked and they just played possum because they felt awkward?? Or maybe they pretended to drown in someone’s pool just to be a dick and didn’t know when to stop until they were hidden in a closet. Or something

Am I making sense to anyone?

[benthicpressure]

[andmyvape-deactivated20260103]

You are my hero for finding this

[ot3]

hear me out.

the homestuck epilogues are objectively canon in-universe

HOWEVER. they are all friendfiction written by dirk, as a gift to john and jane for their 23rd birthdays. 

[ot3]

[ot3]

[leina-reads-homestuck]

I’m glad that the “it’s all a Dirk fanfiction” makes so much sense

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[amber-acrylic]

[thespectacularspider-girl]

[emptyjunior]

Hi friends I have a present for you, no these are not screenshots from Wikipedia, these are some excerpts from the Ready Player One sequel, Ready Player two.

They read like My Immortal for big bang theory fans and if I had to look at them you do too.

[darkwesternchic]

How can anyone like this? It's like a monument to how nerd culture was commercialized and turned into blatant self-referential consumerism. It's the literary equivalent of painting the act of you vandalizing your Great-grandfather's grave to honor his memory. This sucks.

[fentakneeeeel]

I read the first one in patrick batemans voice.

[sindri42]

They don’t even display the most basic understanding of the things they mindlessly reference. Like, they keep casually using hardcore pacifist characters from famous anti-war films as avatars for murdering people in. The author is fucking wallowing in the worst things that non-geeks accuse geeks of doing, and then claiming to represent all of geek culture.

[homunculus-argument]

I love how both corvids and parrots are in general highly intelligent, but where corvids generally have strict hierarchies, solve disagreements in the pecking order by fighting, and have a strong dislike for anything new or foreign until they figure out how to make use of it, parrots are just here to party.

The New Caledonian crow, who knows how to specifically build a tool in order to build another tool, never engages in play. These motherfuckers are smarter than some people with the right to vote, and they are Extremely Serious Birds. They don't have time to play, they got work to do and kids to raise.

And then there's the kea, straight-up titled "clown of the mountains", that has a specific vocalization for "playtime!". Scientists decided to try what happens if they play the Play Call for two fully-grown adult keas that are together in an area and can clearly see there is no other, third kea to make the call, and they just go "great idea, disembodied voice! it's TIME TO FUCKING PARTY!" and start wrestling.

Imagine working really hard in order to make it into a top university to study astrophysics, making it to your first Very Serious Class, sitting down full of serious determination, and the dude next to you is taking notes without using his hands, with a glitter pen he's shoved up his nose. And his notes are good.

[homunculus-argument]

It's your first day of Bird University and you already fucking hate this guy.

[trixree]

So there's this gene in humans called PLXNC1 or "Plexin", right? So Plexin is associated with increased neuron function and is generally thought to be correlated to human's increased cognitive ability for the use of language, i.e., "language learning". Super cool, right?

Humans aren't the only animals with advanced language learning that have Plexin in their genome. We can actually find homologous plexin between humans and PARROTS!

Using genomic alignment search tools, we can actually break down the sequence of human Plexin and directly compare it to the Plexin found in parrots. (This was actually a project I ran for an upper division genomics class, and running the program literally takes like... ten minutes.) I wanted to see how similar the plexin gene was between humans and parrots, so I queued up the human sequence against all of the available records from parrot genomes and sorted by greatest percent identity (i.e., which bird species had the closest plexin to ours?)

It was this funky dude right here:

THAT'S RIGHT BABY! The kea, notorious for being a straight up motherfucking prank god, carries Plexin with a 79.42% identity comapred to humans'.

THIS LITTLE ASSHOLE HAS A HOMOLOGOUS LANGUAGE LEARNING GENE WITH US!!!! A GENE THAT IS THOUGHT TO BE CORRELATED TO HIGHER LEVEL LEARNING AND INTELLIGENCE!!!!! AND THEY USE THEIR INTELLIGENCE TO WREAK HAVOC ON TOURISTS

Also these guys have been found to literally have predictive reasoning skills, which we consider REALLY FUCKING ADVANCED for a lot of animal species. They pass the Aesop's fable test with flying colors. They're so goddamn cool, I love them so much. The kea really said: "I will use my superior intelligence to have a good fucking time" and that's so powerful honestly

[tpolisher]

[seasonallydefective]

Handy guys building stuff for their pets are so wholesome 😭

[tikkety-tok]

"My neighbours thinks I torture dogs for a living"

[masked-rider-build]

I work at a pet supplies store with a self service dog bath in the back, and the huskies are always absolute drama queens when getting bathed. You can hear them howling like they're being tortured from the opposite side of the store. Those poor babies are so wonderfully dumb

[happifying-things]

[gauntletspirit]

I love how every human there just gently ensures the doggo can keep playing. <3

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“Nothing must end this doggos happiness”

[darkbluemint]

Free serotonin!!