No sir I’m a dreamer

here for a long time, not a good time

[dankmemeuniversity]

[uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

He's right tho

[carolxdanvers]

Sent this to my brother and he said "anyone who's heard of Margaret Thatcher can define a negative cow" and I needed to share that with you

[charl0ttan]

smoking the shit that made....lets see..... hmmm yes. ill take "smoking the shit that made jack a lantern" for a hefty sum of 17 notes please

[girl-with-bones]

hey quick question. what

[charl0ttan]

im trying to order

[brucefromfamilyguy]

[pixipoxi-deactivated20241225]

does male yearning exist? do guys wait for girls to reply? do they think of them often during the day? do guys make playlists for their crush?

[alan-scottgoober]

i would drop a building on someone just for her to look at me if that counts

[pixipoxi-deactivated20241225]

good lord

[echo-s-land]

[tanadrin]

So one of the things that can apparently contribute to kidney issues in cats is if they eat too much dry food and don't drink enough water; cats are adapted to get a lot of their water from their food since they're originally desert animals, and might not get enough water if they don't eat wet food. Unfortunately, Dozy won't eat wet food no matter what; she categorically refuses to touch the stuff. So a few months ago, we were looking for ways to get Dozy more fluids, and my wife noticed at the pet store a cat drink--basically meat broth with some floaty bits in--that was low-protein and meant for cats with kidney issues. So we figured, worth a try, right?

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

[the creacher in question]

[fortunefavorsthebrave-dude]

had a dream griffin mcelroy was giving tours at the aquarium as like a special guest kind of thing and every time he’d stop in front of an animal he’d be like “alright gang gather round. i have no idea what the FUCK this is” and then we’d move on

[puppybearuniverse]

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[pointnclick]

im going to post old cat images now

ceiling cat

monorail cat

long cat

the OG can i haz cheezburger cat

the lesser known graphix cat

invisible bike cat

my planet needs me cat

cat with the gat

[brunhiddensmusings]

[tzikeh]

Good lord we need MOAR of the original LOLCATS (or cat macros, as they were originally known)

[anarchistmemedistro]

the OG memes

[beggars-opera]

This post is missing Keyboard Cat!!!

[gjjuddmk2]

[sniperct]

[beggars-opera]

#you can do it king

[memorycycle]

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

[chirasul]

one hundred and seventy dollars

[memorycycle]

[setheverman]

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

[setheverman]

here it is! the post that started a “me, an intellectual” hell frenzy, and is officially ⭐ the worst post of 2016 ⭐

[pointless-achievements]

Rare Achievement Unlocked:

Irrevocable Linguistic Harm

Create a memetic phrase that still sees use for almost a decade afterward

[loserbox-deactivated20240724]

Corn dog thief. She knows what she did.

[moniquill]

Solidarity

[snazzymolasses]

For those who don't understand, EBT are food stamps (government money for buying food for low-income people). Because the money is from the government, it comes with horrific restrictions, one of which is you cannot buy "prepared" food with it. You can only buy raw chicken, not cooked chicken, for example.

This kitchen is getting around that stupid rule by selling you raw, unprepared chicken, and then charging your EBT account for raw, unprepared chicken.

Then as a side thing, totally unrelated, they cook the chicken for free. Since you bought raw chicken with the EBT, it's legal. There's no law against cooking people's raw chicken for free for them. That's just charity.

This kitchen is a blessing to anyone who doesn't have a kitchen of their own.

[valtsv]

why listen to these so-called "experts" when you could listen to me, a guy who visibly isn't well

[beggars-opera]

#Donald Trump at his rally