My Closet

25 they/them. Before you interact just know I am an adult with a life and I do not care about the opinions of strangers on the internet.

[animalcrossingnewhorizons]

plwasw god

[were--ralph]

Female one btw

[mephistopheles]

i bring a sort of “you should maybe interrogate your so-called ‘preferences’ to make sure they’re not literal textbook examples of severe unconscious bias” vibe that my woke gay friends dont really like

[mephistopheles]

what this post does NOT mean

go out and fuck someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to

go out and date someone you aren’t attracted to because a stranger on tumblr said to

You’re Not Allowed To Be Gay Anymore

what this post DOES mean

if you just ‘prefer’ to avoid majority black areas of your city

if you just ‘prefer’ to read, write, think, and talk about men

if you just ‘prefer’ to socialize with people you (perceive as) your assigned birth sex

if you just ‘prefer’ to exclusively watch white-directed movies, read white-written books, listen to white-authored music

if you just unconsciously perceive men as more authoritative/competent and ‘prefer’ to be spoken to by them

this is a post about acknowledging unconscious bias. it is not a post about dating. please stop coming into my inbox and accusing me of rape apologism and telling me to kill myself. thank you

[ineffectualdemon]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[7thgenbotulist]

Kabru trying his usual approach to undermining people against Laios is so funny. It’s like he’s a grandmaster at chess, poker, and everything else that requires mind-games coming up to a guy, fully expecting to beat him at any game under any circumstances, only to realize he didn’t prepare for the one thing he’d actually be faced with, which is a hotdog eating contest against a guy whose friends call him “the vacuum cleaner”.

[herpsandbirds]

This is easily one of the CRAZIEST videos I've ever gotten. I was rafting down a river when a Yellow Jacket came, landed on my bright pink waterproof phone pouch, and started drinking from the water droplets that had gathered there.

The most amazing part is how the water droplet magnifies the Hornet's mouth parts, so you get to see them up-close!!!! It was FASCINATING to witness!

Here's some of my favorite still shots from that video:

What do you think? 🥰

[franksaidso]

anybody else feel like this all the time

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

[acutelathos]

Some clarifications and an update

[biglawbear]

This person has more emotional intelligence and healthier skills in navigating relationships than most people

[wholesome-animal-images]

[mabe1pines]

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

[valla-chan]

sorry to improve your day without much notice but 

[glyxiebear]

NEVERMIND REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEED

[nonbinarydave-archived]

This is cathartic

[bogleech]

People just becoming politically aware are never going to appreciate just how fucking hated this guy was before he was in politics. He was hated for over half a century. Everyone aware of him mocked and derided him as a cheating, greedy corporate asshole and mindless bully and this is by far not the only time anyone clocked his ass but it is probably one of the only times it got caught on video. Hatred of him was bipartisan all my life and it just goes to show how easily right wingers can be suckered by anyone who kisses their collective asshole on their pet agendas.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Never forget that the reason Trump seems like an over-the-top stupidly villainous antagonist from a 90s movie is because half of them were based on Trump and making fun of him.

The reason The Simpsons and a handful of other comedies ‘predicted’ the Trump presidency was because he kept saying he wanted to run and nobody could think of anything funnier than a President Trump.

[wandering-tangents]

I’M NOT LAUGHING

[feluka]

I've never related to a human being more than Nicole Byer in this clip.

[rubyfunkey]

My heavy’s are so dry. Please. Just a drop.

hit the next blog over freak we dont DO that 'round here

[hannahp0calypse]

& dont call our moist customers freaks unless theyre into it

[hog-zone]

no its ok. they know what they are.

[good-fwiend-in-wome]

shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

[jonnystrebor]

Not to forget:

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[johannestevans]

Watched a documentary about abuse and advice one guy said to give children was, "Tell them that if someone is hurting them, to tell someone - and don't just tell one person. Tell as many people as possible, and keep telling as many people as possible until the abuse stops." and i really liked that

Bc so many ppl focus on the idea of telling A Trusted Adult, but even a well-meaning individual can fuck up and let abuse fall through the cracks or not know what to do

Whereas if a child tells LOADS of adults AND other kids, there's far less opportunity for an abuser to do damage control

Consistently telling their story and spreading it around disempowers the abuser to control and coerce the flow of information, or to utilise gaps and weaknesses in systems of reporting or welfare to isolate the child

Just really good advice. Not suprised I don't hear it more often.

[deepgreenposts]

sharing these early shhhhh…

[ljspencerauthor]

ooooh.... excellent!

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[ramshacklefey]

They should also be assignable individually. "This person has medical poa for me, but we do not file taxes together." "We file taxes together because we operate on shared incomes, but my survivor's benefits are going to my sibling who will need them more."

The US government assigns over 1,000 rights/privileges for being legally married to someone. There's no reason they need to all be in one bundle.

But actually, the assignment of those rights and privileges IS marriage in legal terms.

So really, if you want them available without marriage, what you want is to get fucking rid of marriage as a legal construct and set up some better way of distributing rights and privileges necessary for adults to effectively form interpersonal care networks.

Highly recommend Elizabeth Brake's book Minimizing Marriage if you want to hear more on it.

[liarsblade]

there's this weird thing people fall into online a lot, where people assume that if the [perceived-to-be-inferior] version of [activity] is discouraged then people will, naturally, do [perceived-to-be-superior] version of [activity] instead. When really it's just as (or more) likely that if [perceived-to-be-inferior] version of [activity] is discouraged people just won't do it at all.

[liarsblade]

audiobook listeners are not necessarily people who would otherwise do a lot of traditional reading if audiobooks did not exist, many are people who simply would experience zero books. Booktok romance readers would not necessarily be reading the classics if booktok did not exist, many of them would simply not read. Fanfiction writers would not necessarily be novelists if fanfic wasn't an option, many would just be people who didn't write. You know?