or: Even with blood on his hands, you saw the good in Ghost.
cw: 18+ mdni, 4.7k wrds, alt au, inmate!ex!Simon, blood, angst to smut/comfort, period sèx, floor sèx, fĂngèring, Simon is low key stalking you so possessive!Simon, naive!reader, slight d/Č dynamics. Mentions of mĂşrder.
âThis is- Come on daâlin, donât hang up- calling from XX correctional facility. All calls are subject to recording and monitoring except privileged attorney client communications. To decline this press 9, to accept this callââ
You can hear the low chatter from the other calls close by, the yelling, you hear his deep breath through the phone, a grumble, he bites, âSo what, yer not gonna talk tâme anymore?â
You close your eyes, shifting in your bed, Simon- no- Ghost doesnât usually call on Saturday afternoon. Knows you have work at the crack of dawn and sleep till late, the weekends are for resting. He usually would call in the middle of the week or Friday, be that dose of serotonin your body needs, or when you know all your work affairs are done, hear you sound at peace after a long day.
But you havenât taken his calls in two weeks.
Maybe because you two broke up last month were taking a needed break to clear your head.
It wasnât the first time you two had broken up, wouldnât be the last, it was just different this time. At least for you, and you know Ghost could feel it. It was normal for Ghost to be in and out of jail since you first met. Sometimes heâd let you know when he was getting out, youâd be waiting with your hands stuffed in the pocket of your oversized hoodie and rocking on the balls of your feet as the gates slowly pulled apart with him standing there, letting him hold you close until you couldnât breath. Or heâd just randomly pop by your house to check on you like he hadn't been away from you. Make sure the bills are paid, not holing yourself in like youâve done in the past. Kiss you till you were in a fit of giggles. Find yourself somehow half naked, legs spread open as he pushed his fat cock tip inside you, your fingers interlocked with his till heâs all the way inside. Heâll mumble against your shoulder, something along the lines of, âmissed you honey, jesus, âve miss you.â
But this time Simon got sentenced to 5 years.
Who wouldâve known it would go by so slowly? Taking the time to make calls, go visit, put money on his booksâ all built to irritationâ longing.
Why did he have to keep putting you in these situations? Why couldnât he just be happy with you? Love a normal life, not take these âjobsâ that would land him in prison. Unfulfilled promises building up through the time youâve known him, your best friends telling you that the man was helpless, worthless.
But even through a phone call, in the countless letters heâd send to you, when that man was closer than anyone else in your lifeâ Simon Riley had been your rock. Still was.
How could a love you felt was everlasting, unwavering, become so fragile? Or was it always fragile, waiting to break with every time Simon landed behind bars. A crack forming every time you stood outside waiting for him, holding your life still waiting for him to catch up to you.
You suck in a breath, attempting to sound stronger, âYouâre not supposed to be calling anymore Ghost. weâve already broken upâ.â
ââDonât. Donât say thaâ tâme dovie. Please,â he sighs, wiping a hand down his face. âYâJust need a little more time, yeah? Sort this all outââ
ââI canât keep doing this Ghost! I- I have a life to live and I canât keep waitin for you⌠âs not good for me. You know that.â
Of course the man does, heâs the one who told you that long ago. Maybe the second time you'd come to visit him, tears falling down your pretty face he couldn't wipe because of the glass that separated the two of you. It was too much pulling and pushing when it came to Simon being there, you never really understood what Simon did exactly, you just knew he was good enough to not get long sentences and good enough to you. So helpless with the way heâd treat you so gently, careful, you could only help but to fall in love with him. Youâd put your hand to the glass, mumbling, âS okay, youâre good company.â
Not good enough, clearly.
Simonâs lips press together in a line. Heart twisting with every word you say. This must be some karma for all the shit he has gotten away with. A domino effect to this, only a matter of time before he lost the most precious thing in his life.
â[+]- baby-â
Your voice is strained, shaky, ââI have to go now, Ghost. Donât call anymore, please.â
You toss your phone to the side of the bed as it âclicksâ closed. Your vision becomes blurred as the clock slowly ticks. Your best friend, Nina takes a seat beside you rubbing your shoulder, âIt's better this way [+], you can finally move on with your life now! He was holding you back from what you were meant to be.â
And what was that exactly?
Youâd been fresh out of highschool and started working your ass off at any job you could find, gap years becoming longer, the days swiftly passing by faster than you'd expected. Maybe hanging out with your friends when they had the time, but they all had high hopes. Dreams brighter than the eye could see, and every year passed felt like you were being left behind. Just until you met Simon, who suggested you'd just give community college a try, try out some electives for the hell of it. He was good at that, taking your hands in his and telling you could do anything even if it went to shit, Simon was always there to pick up the pieces. Helped you move out of your parents, gave you a connection to get a better job, paid for everything so you didn't have to worry about it. All you had to do was chase that feeling you'd been yearning to have just like everyone else, let him love you so sweetly. You were cared for, more than anyone in your life had done for you. But without Simon beside you, what were you supposed to do?
All you'd been dreaming of was a life with him in it.
It made your stomach turn into knots, pressing your face deeper into the pillows as you painful sobs left your throat.
â . ਠ⥠ৠ. â
âFuckin âell, theyâve started a riot inside the prison.â
There's commotion on your way home, police filling the streets and the trains platforms, busy cars beeping and flying down streets, people rushing back to their homes in the early evening. Youâd thought it was something nowhere near where you lived, until you'd seen the headline in the tv of a gallery window broadcasting the news. Ghosts prison in bold letters at the bottom of the screen as the new anchor described what was happening. But it was all in one ear and out the other. They didn't know who started it, but prisoners were attacking officers, prisoners attacking each other, loud yelling heard from outside the facility. Your heart quickly pounded, it's just some crazy coincidence, right? Things like this happen, it's rare, but they happen. Itâll calm down soon enough and hopefully no one dies.
Coming home⌠isn't as dreadful as it used to be. You're used to your new apartment, much smaller but affordable. The neighborhood isnât so bad either. Your friends convinced you that you needed a fresh start since your last phone call with Ghost. The apartment was filled with old memories, now you could make new ones in a completely different space. And you have, letting your friends drag you to bars and dating events, the moviesâ even doing fucking potery (which isnt half bad as youd thought). And it works. For some time, it really does work. You've gotten yourself some fish in a very nice tank next to the window in the cramped living room, new bedding, a refurbished couch from facebook marketplace after selling the old one for cash. Decorations are still the same though, soft magentas and blues fill the space along with the few plants you talk to while you water them.
It's nice to imagine not being lonely.
That gnawing feeling that no one understands you gets to you after spending so much time pleasing your friends, trying to be the person they expected you to be. You sit on your couch with a huff, you can't help but think maybe this was all stupid, you were being the bigger person, no? Being an adult like everyone wanted you to be, dump the guy who got money the best way he knew how even if it meant illegally, happily date some stuck up doctor or lawyer whoâs settling but your friends seem to like him, an inch away from marriage, a few blocks off from being some stay at home wife. Your kids becoming your life because you just don't know how to live yours, with a husband who only seeing you as a trophyâ
It only made you miss Ghost more.
Made you miss his big arms around you, the way heâd kiss you and tell you just how smart you are. Remind you of how much you've grown, your hard work paying off. You feel so jaded on days like this, thumb scrolling through your private photo album full of pictures you swore to your friends had been deleted. You nibble at your nail, eyes wandering through the countless photos you took together that were on your phone, the ones of you smiling while the ends of Ghosts honey brown eyes crinkle as he looks down at you. Or the ones of him laying on your chest, your fingers going over his ivory blonde hair, the ones playfully biting your chin while you were tipsy. You miss it, all of it, the good and the bad. What would it take for you to have that backâ
You hear your front door knob twist, rattling. Not uncommon, there have been a few times your neighbors have drunkenly tried to get in. Thankfully they truly meant no harm, just a couple college girls walking across the hall to their flat on a late Saturday night.
It was Tuesday.
Goosebumps shoot up when you hear the lock to the doorknob âclickâ open. You swiftly hide beside the couch, ducking your head behind your knees to get smaller. You can hear the top lock unlock, dread washing over you. Of course someone was robbing your place while you were in it, everything in your life was about to be gone at the drop of a hat. You can feel the lump coming up your throat trying to be quiet.
You can hear heavy boots hitting the floor, the door locking behind the stranger. A deep voice too familiar hitting your earways.
âSweeâart, know you're âere, donât have tâ hide from me.â
Your stomach flips, head shooting up from behind the side of the couch. And heâs there. In the flesh.
Ghost takes off the black cap he had on, eyeing the space, where your keys and shoes were in the entryway. The little framed artwork on the walls, the few jacks that hung on the coatrack he recognized, he lets out a breathy grumble, âWhen Johnny told me ya moved, I really couldn't believe what I was hearin. If yâwanted to move, I could've helped with tha. Doesn't matter if we've âbroken up.ââ
âHow would you evenââ
âYou know finding you would never be an issue [+]. Doesn't ever matter where I am.â he shushes you, finger gesturing to the room, âYour friends got you in this place though. Very nice âf them dolly.â he says sardonically.
You're still taking him in, and of all things, heâs in uniform as if heâd just gotten off a rough shift⌠as if he worked at the prison. White button down and black tie under a black pullover, but it's stained in blood, his hands still have blood on them. You can see his bruised knuckles from across the room. A fresh yet light graze on Ghosts scarred face that you can see as he looks at the picture and knickknack filled end table. The uniform is undoubtedly not his, you can't even begin to imagine how he could have escaped, and got all the way here without getting caught.
You manage to stand, hands gripping the arm of the couch to steady you. You try to gulp down whatever feelings you have, âY-you shouldn't be here.â you manage to squeak out.
You can practically hear the smirk on his lips, his back still turned to you, fingers brushing over one of the pictures, âNo shit love, justâŚ. needed tâ see you. Had to.â
Ghost lifts the frame that's been dancing between his fingertips, holding it for you to see nodding, âCame out nice.â He turns to look at it once more, brown eyes softening, it's a picture you'd been hiding under your bed, finding it while looking for a hiding shoe. Only pulling it out because you remembered it was there and it- well it just fit. Meant to be there. One of you and Simonâs face is nearly stone cold, that ghost of a smile on him, but heâs holding you so close, you couldn't help but throw your head back and laugh, hand on his chest. Simon's enchanted by you, still, even with you so close, "You're gorgeous, you know tha?â
You bite the inside of your lip, watching him take a step forward while you take one step backwards.
âBet I've done your head in tonight. Heard that shit on the news, didn't you? Real shit shows goin on down there. Some âf those muppets are beatin the shit out âf each other before I took off.â He cracks his neck, shoulders relaxing, âNeeded târelease some anger âs all it was doll. Swear. Couldnât let you see tha side fâme.â he takes a beat, âScared âf me?â
You should say âyesâ, scream and do the right thing. Have him turned into the police. Heâs pulling at your heart strings though, stupidly. You only give him a small shake of your head. âGood,â he exhales in relief, tension in his shoulders relaxing, âGood honey, that's good.â
You pull at your sleeves, words falling from your lips before you can catch them, âWhy did you come here?â
Simons head tilts to the side, analyzing you. âSaid Iâd give you some time tâthink it over, yeah? Wouldâve given you more time, but I- ha- when I heard about you goin on dates, found yourself a new flatâ couldn't believe it. Wanted tâ see for myself that you moved on. I think I'm pretty good at startin a fight, bloody hectic gettin out of that shit show.â
He talks as if it were some fond memory, you don't even realize heâs getting closer and closer to you, âBut then I get a look at you for the first time in six months, not too far from âere. That shop on the corner, ând for someone whos been out ând about, you don't seem all that happy.â
Your mouth opens to speak but nothing comes out, frustrated that heâs right. But if you so easily just let him crawl back to you, everything youâd done wouldâve been for nothing. Youâre still the hopeless girl everyone still takes you for. Easily swayed by the riptide, and a part of you knows you are. You know this life is scary, worse when youâre constantly being pressured to be something. Canât help but lean into whatever people think is best for you because youâre too scared to do anything else.
âFuck, you canât just come here trying to rectify things like nothings happened. I don't- I can't be pushed and pulled just because you feel like it!ââ You pry your eyes from the blonde, eyebrows knitted together.
âIâm not askin for tha, if you don't want to get back together, âs fine. But you've gotta tell me to my face. Can break up with me over the phone, it can't be too hard to say it's over now.â
You feel your entire body stiffen at that. It's like Simon asking you to pull your own heart out and give it to him in his hand. You can't even feel the air in your lungs. Your hands ball into fists at your sides. Maybe that was the one thing keeping you sane this entire time. The thing that was grounding youâ that you knew you loved him above all else, and he loved you. To let that goâ
You hear him draw out your name gruffly, each one of Ghost's slowly stalking his way towards you, making you quickly take steps further back further, tripping over your own feet.
âDonât.â You protest, almost in a whisper.
His jaw tightens, lowering his head to catch your line of vision, your back hitting the wall, âConfirm it for me, tell me you hate my fuckin guts and you canât stand the sight of me anymore. Tell me you loathe the idea of me bein around you! Won't have tâsee me ever again [+].â
It's a threat, but it feels like another punch to the gut, your full lips quivering and your eyes becoming misty.
You feel his rough hand hold your jaw, lifting your head to finally look at him. Tears rolling down the hills of your cheeks. â[+].â Simon pleads your name, desperate for anything you were willing to give him. Even if it were rejection.
Your eyelids fall shut, choking on a sob, your nose damp, âI canât. I donât wanna say it! W-why canât you ever just be here with me?â
Simon can only thumb your tears away, cupping your ace in both his hands.
The older man lets out a breath through his nose, â[+] I know it's my fault sweeâart, I know I shouldntâve left you alone like this. Hate that I'm the reason youâve felt like this. âNd Iâm sorry [+], truly Iâm sorry baby. Iâm just tryin to provide for you. You should get anything you want. âS my job to get it for you.â
Your frown deepens, shaking your head, âI donât need any of that though-â
â--But you deserve it lovie.â the back of his fingers caress your cheek, Simon could see the world in your brown eyes. The man would do anything for you, anything. And if that meant robbing few banks and ending a few lives, inciting a riot to run off and be here with youâ heâd do it again. Would divide the earth for you. Find every and any way to give you the life you deserved, you were everything.
Continue to be everything.
And Simons not afraid to admit that heâd do it all over again if that meant he could be in this exact moment with you. Simon saw you as the exact woman men would go to war for. And the blonde has done it, killed for you more time he can count. And yet, you didn't see him as evil, you still let him touch the exact person that was his savior- his heaven. As if youâd washed his sins away with that sparkle in your eyes alone. He rasps, âWorked out some things for you dove, promise. No more pulling you back ând forth. I'll be right âere, right where I 'm supposed tâ be.â
Your hands grip onto his shirt, leaning into his touch. Those brown doe eyes meet his, you hiccup, âPromise?â
âGod, I promise love. I promise.â he says, ever so certain.
Simon's thumb gently rubs over your upper lip, His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, âCan I?â
You give a small nod, the blondeâs lips gently meeting yours. Tender and long awaited. Butterflies fill your stomach, his nose brushing against yours, you can feel the dry blood rubbing onto your face from his fingers. He pulls away, just for a moment to get another look at you, hypnotized. He kisses you again, one that send sparks flying around the room. Quickly turning from slow to fiery and frantic. You let Simon ta mi ke you in his arms, letting him swipe his tongue over your lips for access and opening it. Your tongue's intertwining while his hands travel down your back to your ass, your arms wrapping around his neck. Simon takes a hand full in his large hand and squeezes it that makes you moan into his mouth.
Your eyes shoot open, pushing him just enough, âWait Simon,â You pant, gripping his shoulders, âI-Iâm on cycle.â gripping his broad shoulders.
Your boyfriend hands come to your hips, gently, letting his fingers find their way beneath your shirt to trail your skin. âCan take our time then,â His lips brush against your neck, brushing your pretty curls behind you, âWhat do you want to do, dove, tell me.â
You shudder, melting into his touch, âWant to, wanna do it with you.â
Only makes Simons harder, leaving a kiss on your neck, âWeâll stop whenever yâwant, âkay? âS all up to you.â
You donât even know how he gets you to the floor, your face in his chest while he spreads your pussy lips open, your pussy sheened with your slick and blood, Simon lets out a low groan at the sight, âAlways been so pretty lovie,â thick digits dampening rosy red to his purple and blue knuckles as they push into your gushing entrance. You hiccup of ânoâ while he slowly starts to pump his fingers inside you, but the man only tsks. Spreading your thighs further apart, he thrusts his fingers faster, he nudges his head softly into yours, âShould look at how good you're takin it baby, pretty cunts throbbing for more.â It's messy, every squelch your pussy makes as Simon works you open, your needy moans filling the air.
You grind your hips into his and he sickeningly drags his fingers out of you, whining his name, while he spreads his fingers, strings of your remnants dripping down them, âSo fuckin wet, you see this shit?â You can feel the end of Simonâs lip curving upward, giving your pulsing bud a smack. Then another, harsh, your body jolted in his hold.
âAangh! Simo- oh!â
He scissors his fingers back inside you, using his other to snack around you, his hand squeezing and kneading the swell of your breast, your eyes rolling into your skull, you grip his wrist but heâs relentless with you. You let out a throaty moan, âWait- hck- wait!â
âNo, you take it.â He lets out a low groan, watching the way your hole sucks his digits further inside, âShow me just how much you missed your loving man.â
He curves his fingers inside you, pressing against that sticky sweet spot that has you cumming with a gasp.
Simon rides your orgasm out, giving your pussy slow thrusts till he slides them outside, running his messy fingers through your glistening folds, âYou forgot didnât you, wanna hear you tell me youâre cumming.â
Your eyes are glazed over, panting, you feel the heat roll all over your skin, shyly, âNo- just- shit. âS just been a-a long time.â
Of course it has, the thought only makes Simon's length stiffen in his pants, rock hard against your thigh. He lays you on your back, towering over you as he slips off the stained shirt he had on. Simon's fingers find their way into his mouth, tongue lapping up the blood and cum that painted them.
You chide, âSimon!â
His eyes lower down on you, fingers clean and he lifts your plush thighs back, is sandwiched between your pussy lips, âWonder how many times youâve cum thinkin âf me dovie, hm? Ten times? Twenty?â He murmurs.
âI-I donât know.â Your eyes avert around the room, it only makes the man want to tease you more, grinding into you.
âProbably more than tha, yeah? Heh, Fucked yourself dumb till you couldnt think, didnt you?â his voice drops lower, has your pussy tingling, he squeezes the globes of your ass, âSuch a good girl. Shouldâve broken out sooner, shit- give your cunny what it needs.â
You let out a whine, shimmying your hips for any friction, your claw at his tattooed forearms. Simon lets the crown of his length roll against your dripping hole, dampening with your slick, âI knooow dove, gonna give it to you.â
Your boyfriend lifts your shirt to your mouth, tits dropping out. âBite it for me, âs gonna be a tight fit.â
And youâre too sexy like this, needy, wanting, only thinking of Simon, sprawled out just for him. His head looks to the side as he fucks his way inside you, ears nearly becoming shot at the way your velvety walls wrap around his girthy member. His canines are on full display, dizzy, goosebumps coming on his skin as he nuzzles his cock inside you, âFuckin hell baby, youâre makin me crazy.â
You let out a muffled keen, letting the blonde hike your legs up higher, press you further into the floor. His muscles flexing while he sledgehammers through each tight rings of your pussy. You keep clenching down on him, hard, trembling and tears pricking your eyes. Simon coos, dabbing away the dampness under your eyes, âYouâve got it honey, biiiig stretch fâme darlin.â
You only let out a squeal, the perfect ache filling your cunt as he drops his thick cock inside you with a thud, breeder balls smooshed against your thighs, deeper than you can even remember him being the countless times heâs fucked you. You can only sob out, feel the way his pre smacks! against your insides. The man is stuffing you full, pornographic moans and groans filling the space every time he bottoms out inside you.
Giving you every reason to move into a better place with him, your neighbors will hate you by tomorrow. The brutal slapping of your skin against each other could easily be heard through the thin walls.
âS-so deep inside me Si! So full- nngh!â
âYeah honey? Hck- w-where do yâfeel me?â He licks his pink lips, watching as your hand stumbles down your stomach, cock drunk, hovering the spot of the small curvature that forms every time he drills his tip inside you. ââS perfect [+], youâre so fuckin perfect.â Simonâs hand covers yours, lasting your fingers with his and pressing down on the bulge.
Your pussyâs squeezing him dry, drool threatening to drip out the corner of your mouth, second set of lips puffy. Widening and stretching with every rough pound Simon gives you, streaking his pulsing coral pink length with red down to his blood along with your slick. âMissed you darlin, fuck, always been all mine. Hah- Only want you baby.â He angles his cock so right inside of you, your hips rolling on their own in his calloused hands. Your back arches off the floor, curls flattening on the hardwood as your lashes flutter shut, âFuck- cummin- Iâmcuming- mmmph!â
Your bodyâs still feverish as you hit your high, milking Simon for everything heâs worth, sparks running through you.
âYou alright pretty girl? Hm?â
âSo gooood! Anngh- F-feels so good Si.â Your words arenât even registering to your head, limbs feeling boneless,
Simon snickers, hand coming up to cup your face, slow, traveling up your tummy, through the valley of your chest, brown nipples so hard in the air, up your neck to your face, âShit, Youâve gotta breath lovie, remember?â
No, no you donât, but you only nod, a small âohâ turning into a long keen, the pad of his thumb rubbing around your sensitive clit, the way heâs still stretching you out. Your quivering hole around his being cock, tugging him into his orgasm.
Heâs fucking himself into your snug walls hard, feeling every glob of that thick seed filling your womb to the brim.
âSimon?â you purr out his name and he lets out a low groan in response. A filthy thwack! into your slippery pussy, turning you into a complete mess.
âHck- Yeah dovie?â
âWant you to hold me.â You hiccup.
The blonde doesnât waist a second, wrapping his arms, around you, your legs hooking around his waist. His lips leave little bruises up your skin, âYou love me Si?â
Simons feverish, his pupils blown out as he lets his fingers wrap around your neck, dragging you into a sloppy wet french kiss.
âI love you doll,â another kiss, âI love you fuckin much [+], bloody hell, love you.â his free hand roam your flesh, abs tightening as he slowly rocks into you, heavy, massaging your walls in a way your toes curl. Nails racking up his scarred back as you cry his name over and over.
The sound of police sirens in the far distance.
a/n: 0/10. I was so frustrated trying to write this and I still donât like it. Like itâs so much expository dialogue but Iâm not good at writing regular dialogue. Iâm sorry for posting bs after not posting for so long
whoâd taken a vow of celibacy. Heâd spent years taming his desires, abstaining not only from sex but also from any dreams of love. His place was in the church, serving god and the people.
When he met you, he didnât fall in lust. No, it was a slow-burn. You were a new nun, and he spent time settling you in and keeping an eye out for you. Youâd chatter with him about every little thing. You were talkative and honest, and Simon never found himself tired of listening. It was barely noticeable, the way he inclined himself towards you. It didnât show; but it was present in the way he suggested the garden walls be painted your favorite color, the way he planned meals so youâd get enough nutrition, the way he nearly broke the face of a man who harassed you and no one had ever seen the usually gentle giant be this furious.
He spent months trying to convince himself he was just perhaps better friends with you. It wasnât until you were about to transfer to another parish that he realized he was head over heels.
But Simon was barely certain you felt the same way about him. And he knew your devotion well enough to know youâd never break your vows even if you did. So once more, he crucified his flesh and dreams to bury himself into the ministry. He spends his life having lost you.
VS
Incubus Simon, and youâre his latest target. He sets out in disguise to seduce you. Your libido has never been higher, enhanced by his powers. Heâll take your bodyâ again and again, in every corner of your house, tempting you to indulge in fornication and filth till youâve both had your fullâ though what he really wants is your soul. He convinces himself itâs just about the lust. Itâs about his demon nature and his need to claim you for hell.
Never mind that his eyes stray from your pussy to your eyes instead. Never mind he feels his heart flutter and flatline, wishing youâd gaze into his instead of squeezing them shut in pleasure. Never mind that his hips slow and gentle, and he tells you itâs because he needs a break but really itâs because heâs taken by the urge to make love instead. Never mind that instead of torturing your soul, he does everything in his power to make you happy.
Time passes, and he still hasnât returned to hell. Thereâs a ring on his finger that pairs with yours, and identical wrinkles around his body and yours. When you die, he forfeits your soul that heâd claimed years back, because doing so means youâll be in heaven where an angel like you deserves to be. Heâs willing to be battered and stripped of his status in hell if thatâs what it takes to make sure youâre okay. He spends eternity looking up at you and savoring every hint of you he can get from afar. Your memories are wiped of your time with him, and youâre perfectly happy. His souls wilts and withers. his fate is to spend eternity having lost you.
Little Arthur morgan piece. It has lots of hidden meaning such as the three stars with one being only half there and the momma and fawn overlooking on the hill. The moon being full and to his back but the lighting he faces not being the true light of the moon and instead something like a man-made fire. Whatever, I was a little emotional when I painted this at my dumb little retail job.
And an extra without shading just because. Anu criticism and pointers are helpful and welcome!
I scream in enraged hiccups, tears running down my face like rivers, my hair a matted mess of blood from where my nails sink into my own skin and carve lava tunnels of torn flesh.
Trembling I stare at it's salacious smile, soulless gaze that mocks my agony, tilted in that inhuman way that tries to mimic a feeling. "You already left kudos here :) " it says again and again, deaf to my cries
synopsis: You move to the countryside looking for peace, space, and a life that finally feels like your own. Instead, you find routine, watchful silence, and a neighbor who's always there before you ask.
Wc: 15.8k
CW: fem!reader, artist!reader, butcher!simon, lowkey stalker!simon if you rily squint, kinda mean!simon ( he calls you stupid but in a sexy way), slight slow burn, mention of blood, praise, rough sex, fem! masturbation, mention of breeding, unprotected sex, choking, throat-fucking, spit play, spanking, cunnilingus, analingus, brief mention phlegm, brief aftercare.
a/n: this is a reupload bc the og got labeled and i refuse to be silenced so if you read this already no you didnâtđŤľđź. Jk ily<3
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
ââ .⌠The devil's in the details
A life that felt like your own.
It's all you've wanted for as long as you can remember.
Growing up meant learning the rules of the real world far too earlyâwaking up every morning just to drag yourself to a grueling job, putting up with nagging customers and insufferable bosses who never seemed to respect boundaries.
Work. Pay the bills. Tend to responsibilities.
It disturbed your soul in a way you couldn't explain to anyone elseâthis idea that life was just endurance, not living.
Yet you always looked ahead. You never confined yourself to the standard everyone else seemed content withâand that refusal was why you were never taken as seriously as you wanted to be.
You learned early that dreaming meant working harder than everyone else.
I wanna make things with my hands!!
You used to squeal as a child whenever someone asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. The laughter that followed always left you quietly confused.
What a cutie.
Wait till she grows up.
As if you weren't standing right there. As if it really was unattainable.
As you got older, that desire only split open and spilled into everything elseâinto baking, painting, shaping.
Anything that lets your hands create something beautiful. Something meaningful.
Over time, you realized it wasn't just about making things. It was about the space to make themâto exist without being watched, corrected, rushed. To live somewhere quiet enough that your thoughts could finally settle.
It wasn't that you were a complete introvert. You loved peopleâyou loved the ones who mattered. But there was always that persistent pull, that quiet urge to disappear for a while. To exist in a world that belonged only to you. You would spend days on end just imagining.
And lately, that wasn't enough anymore.
You didn't just want escape. You wanted peace. Quiet.
Which was why you took the first opportunity to leave everything behindâa small farming town in rural England, offering work in exchange for relocation. Painting homes. Restoring old businesses. Fixing what had been forgotten.
Everyone had something to say about it. Your family. Your friends. Even your professors warned you against it.
But you didn't hesitate.
You've technically been here for a week already. Long enough to learn the unfamiliar quiet by heart, to wait while the cottage was cleared and signed off and made official. This is the first time you're really standing in front of it.
Ideas crowd your mind faster than you can catch theâpaint, repairs, small changes that would make it yours. Your chest tightens, heart swelling, a quiet certainty settling in.
The place is neglected. Weathered. Clearly left behind.
And yet, all you can see is possibility.
For the first time in a long while, it feels like everything is falling into place.
"Excuse me?"
You're pulled from your thoughts by the soft voice beside you. You blink, realizing the man has been standing there the entire time.
He smiles, polite but tentative. "I just wanted to make sure everything was to your liking. It's an older cottage, so...lt isn't exactly our best."
"No," you say quickly, unable to stop yourself from smiling. "It's perfect."
Something about your response seems to catch him off guard. He clears his throat.
"Right. Then there are just a few things we should go over before we-"
A sound cuts him off.
An animalistic, sharp, distant squeal loud enough to make you flinch, the noise carrying unnaturally through the trees. You turn instinctively, scanning the hillside.
Up the slope, partially hidden by the trees, stands a barn. One you hadn't noticed before. The doors open with a loud thud.
For a split second, you don't register what you're seeingâonly that something too big has stepped into the light.
Then your stomach drops.
The man fills the doorway, massive shoulders nearly scraping the frame, his silhouette swallowing what little light spills out behind him. He's enormous-not just tall, but wide, built thick and heavy like he was carved for brute force rather than grace.
He's covered in blood everywhere. Dark, soaked into his clothes, smeared across his arms, clinging in thick, ugly patches that glisten wetly in the sunlight. There's a faint metallic smell that drifts through the air, making you scrunch your nose.
To top it off, he had a skullâpatterned balaclava covering the lower half of his face.
The printed grin feels out of place against the quiet countryside, against the green fields and open sky. You can't see his mouth. Can't read his expression. Just the size of him, the way he carries himself like nothing around here surprises him anymore.
Your shoulders tense on instinct.
It was straight out of a horror movie.
"Um," you let out a small laugh, more nerves than humor honestly. "Is that... normal?"
"Ohâyeah." The man beside you clears his throat.
"Yeah, that'll be Simon. Local butcher." He gives a small, awkward laugh. "Looks worse than it is."
Suddenly, you remember everything they warned you about.
A woman alone in the woods.
Right.
You watched cautiously as the man walked toward the cottage right next to the barn, slightly more hidden in the woods than yours, slightly smaller as well.
His steps are steady, boots pressing into the dirt with an easy familiarity, like he's walked this path a thousand times.
Halfway there, he slows and glances over.
Just a look - brief, assessingâthe kind of look anyone might give when they notice someone new standing where no one usually does. You tell yourself that immediately.
Still, your chest tightens in an unsettling way.
Even from this distance, his attention feels heavier than it should. He doesn't smile. Doesn't wave. Just takes you in for a moment longer than you're comfortable with.
"Don't mind him. He's a private blokeâwon't be any bother."
You nod slowly as you turn, stepping back toward the cottage, the normal sounds of the countryside slowly filtering back inâthough the image of him, bloodstained and broad-shouldered against the barn, stays longer than you'd like.
His view of you was completely different.
All he saw was a small figure standing out in the open.
Too small for this place.
You were dressed simply, soft neutral colors that didn't draw any immediate attentionâyet somehow, you managed to draw it anyway. A long skirt brushing your ankles. A fitted tube top clinging in all the right places, bare skin catching the last of the daylight. Gold glinting faintly at your throat and wrists.
He has been watching you since the moment you arrived.
Could see you almost too clearly.
The thought settled heavy in his chest. The cottage next to his. Empty for years.
And now occupied.
His hand tightened around the handle of the front door as he went inside, the knowledge of you settling somewhere in the back of his mind.
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
You wake up before the sun does.
The room is still dark, the cold from the night before still lingers stubbornly around the corners. The smell of wood and damp earth seeps into your space as you lie still beneath the covers, listening to the sound of your breathing and distant chirping of birds.
The nerves you thought you left behind start to stir low in your stomach. You barely slept, drifting in and out of shallow rest. It's funny how the waiting -the planning and the packing was easier than actually waking up inside this new life. A whole week spent imagining, filling the gaps with maybes and what-ifs, had felt gentler than this moment.
But now, lying in your own bed, on the edge of your first real day here, the anxiety creeps back into you like it never really left.
You force yourself up, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to shield against the morning cold. The wooden floor bites at your bare feet as you cross the room.
You move through your room on autopilot. Pushing aside clutter and digging through your box filled with your things to wash up. You pull on a simple black crop top and black leggingsâeasy and practical, something you don't mind making a mess out of. You fix your hair the way you always do before big jobs, muscle memory taking over as you gather your tools, hand steady despite the tight, resistant pull in your chest.
Your first job is a simple mural for a little flower shop in town.
You'd already been introduced earlier in the week.
Names, faces, smiles. Florence, the owner, had shown you the wall, fingers dusted with soil, excitement bright in her eyes. They'd given you free rein over the design, only asking that you keep to a preferred color palette.
"Okay," you mutter to yourself, crouching by your supplies. "One, two, three-"
You line the cans up on the floor. Reds. Yellows. Whites. Count them twice. Then again.
"Four."
You tap each lid as you go, checking them off in your head like that'll keep your nerves in place. Everything's been ready since last night. Packed. Repacked. Adjusted.
You're stalling. You know you are.
Keys cold in your palm, you stand by the door longer than necessary. Your hand rests on the handle. You inhale once before stepping out.
A loud, wet huff greets you immediately.
You freeze.
Right behind youâway too closeâis a dog. If you could actually call it that.
He doesn't look very friendly. Honestly, you can't even process whether or not he is friendly by the way he stands there.
He's massiveâthick-chested, broad, and you're pretty sure you saw veins popping out of his shoulders, only reinforcing how strong this dog could be. His paws dig heavy into the dirt at the bottom of your porch. Drool clings to the sides of its mouth, slipping free as it stares at you.
And for a fleeting second, the image of yesterday resurfaced. Barn doors, and a blood covered man standing in the middle of the field.
Your heart jumps straight into your throat.
You lift your hand instinctively, bending just slightly at the knees before you can stop yourself.
"Oh-okay," you breathe. "This is... fine."
"Hi," you try, softer. "Hey, puppy."
The dog doesn't move, just tilts his head to the side.
You glance around, suddenly very aware of how quiet it is. No neighbors. No cars. Just you and the beast blocking your path.
The distant sound of a truck came before you could react, stopping abruptly in front of you.
"Oi," the voice is rough and hoarsed.
"Mate. What'd I tell you?" He reaches over and pushes the door open from the inside.
The dog perking up instantly before running toward him obediently, tail wagging like nothing just happened.
It's only then you realized who it is. Who's standing in front of your door.
The butcher straight out of a slasher movie.
"You botherin' this bunny?" he asks the dog while scratching the back of his ears, happily wiggling his short tail.
Bunny?
"No bunny, just me," you laugh awkwardly before you step down off the porch, forcing yourself to stand straight even though your grip tightens on your bags.
He huffs, something close to a chuckle. "Right."
"Sorry about him," he adds.
"He likes to wander."
"You sure about that?" you ask, looking at the dog.
"Because he looked like he wasn't planning on leaving."
His lips twitches, eyes glinting with amusement.
"Saw you movin' your things yesterday," he says. "The place's been empty for a long time."
"Yeah," you reply quickly. "Feels a little weird, but I'll make it a home."
"Takes time," he shrugs, watching you for a second longer than necessary.
"You heading into town?" he asks, pointing at your bags in hand.
You blink. "Yeah. I was justâ"
"Hop in," he says, nodding toward the passenger seat.
"I'll take you."
You hesitate, words catching. "You don't have toâ"
"Already going," he replies simply.
You pause for a moment, eyes lingering down the road, wondering whether or not you should climb into this stranger's truck. The bark of the dog breaks your thoughts, deciding to climb in anyway. The smell hits you all at onceâraw meat, metallic and heavy, softened slightly by the clean interior and a faint pine-scented freshener.
Large freezers are secured in the back.
The dog squeezes itself between the two of you, panting proudly. Still massive. Just... not focused on you anymore.
cute, you think.
"Simon,"' he introduces himself.
âY/n."
The car ride is silent, tires crunching over gravel as the hills roll out around you. Fields stretch wide and open, cows grazing lazily, sheep dotting the landscape like pale stones. Trees sway gently in the breeze.
You watch it all pass, mesmerized. Though your thoughts are running wild, thoughts going back to the sellers words.
Private bloke
Not private enough clearly.
Your gaze shifts from outside to his truck, trying to catch a glimpse at the man.
Simon drives easily, his hand on the wheel completely scarred, you wondered if he got it from his line of work or something else, the other holds a cigarette out the window. He looks different like thisâclean, relaxed, almost ordinary. He looks handsome. In a rough, rugged way.
"Need somethin'?" he asks, eyes still on the road.
"Sorry," you say quickly, eyes snapping away "Justâ thinking."
"Didnt scare you too much yesterday, did i?" he asks, looking at you briefly. "You seem slightly jumpy,"
Your neck snaps almost instantly toward his hard face.
"No of course not!" You reply hurriedly,
He hums in understanding.
The truck slows outside the shop, gravel crunching under the tires.
"This good?" he asks.
You nod, already reaching for the door. "Yeah. Thank you."
He watches you for a second longer than necessary, then gives a short nod.
"I'll be back," he states.
You hesitate, but smile anyway. Shutting the door with a loud thud.
You can feel his eyes on you until the bell above the shop door rings and the world shifts back into place.
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
The day goes by quicker than you expect.
One moment you're unpacking your things, the next you're moving on instinct alone. You work mindlesslyâ sketching, painting, letting your hands take over where your thoughts would only get in the way. People drift past on the sidewalk, slowing as they pass, curious eyes gazing at your art. A few linger. Most keep walking. You trade small smiles, nods of acknowledgement.
"Lovely," some say as they walk past.
It brings you back to before, when this was only just a distant dream.
At some point, you stop paying attention to the time.
By the time the sun begins to sink, warm light stretching long across the street, you finally step back.
The mural sits before youâunfinished, but already alive.
You begin packing up your supplies. Brushes rinsed.
Papers stacked. Movements slow, trying everything to not break the spell of the day just yet.
"Alright, Miss Florence," you call out as you step inside, setting your things down on the shop's counter.
"I'll be back around the same time tomorrow."
"Of course, love," she says easily, looking up from where she's standing. "The mural's coming along quite nicely. I'm impressed."
You smile at that, a quiet swell of pride warming your chest.
As you turn to say your goodbyes, her hand comes to rest gently on your shoulder.
"Is everything alright, love?" she asks, concern written plainly across her face.
You pause, staring at her, head tilting slightly in confusion. "Of course," you say. "Why?"
She doesn't answer right away-just nods toward the door, past the front window.
You follow her gaze.
A small sound of surprise slips from you at the sight of the red pickup truck parked outside. The big dog hangs halfway out the open window, tongue lolling as he pants happily. And leaning back against the hood is the man himselfâsomehow larger than he'd been in your memory. Smoke curls lazily around him, a cigarette hanging from his lips.
"He's been waiting out there a while," she says, careful.
"Oh, we live on the same road. He's just doing me a favor." You smile reassuringly.
That doesn't ease her expression the way you expect it to.
"Why?" you ask, lowering your voice without thinking.
"What about him?"
"Ohânothing," she says. "He's just a private man, is all.
We were a bit surprised seeing you come out of his truck... and now."
"That's all?" you press, eyes flickering towards the truck.
She pauses long enough that you lift your brows.
"Not much to him, really," she says finally.
"He's been up there longer than most people remember. Bought that land years back. Kept it when no one else wanted it."
"He's the butcher, though, right?" you ask, still trying to understand the wariness.
"He is. But it's odd," she admits. "He doesn't hire out.
Doesn't expand. Doesn't sell beyond what he needs to." She presses her lips together.
"Most folks around here like things that grow, y'know? But he stays exactly the same."
You wait for more. It doesn't come - and the lack of it frustrates you more than anything she's said.
Someone near the counter clears their throat. Another voice adds, quieter, "Never missed a delivery, though."
Florence nods in agreement. "Meat's always clean. Always fresh."
You let out a small, incredulous laugh. "So... he's just serious about his work?"
She clicks her tongue.
"He's particular," she says. "About his space. His time."
"And people?"
She doesn't answer right away.
"He doesn't come into town unless there's a reason," she says instead.
"And he doesn't wait around for nothing."
You glance back toward the window, toward where the truck had been.
"Oh," you say softly.
Florence squeezes your arm once before letting go.
"Just... take care, love."
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
On the laptop by the counter, your mom watches you with that same careful look she's had since you told her where you were moving.
"So," she says, folding her hands together. "How was your first real day?"
You laugh a little. "Good. Actually... really good."
"The shop was busy enough to keep me distracted. People came in and out all day. A lot of staring at first, but not in a bad way." You popped a grape into your mouth.
"More curious than anything."
She hums, unconvinced but listening.
"They let me set up like we talked about," you continue. "People stopped to talk. Asked where I moved from. What I do. It felt nice." You glance toward the window. "Normal."
"Were you nervous?" she asks, giving you that look you know so well.
"I was," you admit. "But once I started working, it faded. I kind of forgot about everything else."
Her eyes soften at that, just a little.
"You didn't sleep much last night, though," she says. Not a question.
You pause, then shrug.
"Not really. New place. New sounds."
You smile like it's nothing. "I'm sure l'll get used to it."
She presses her lips together. "That's what worries me. You out there by yourself, in the woods."
"Momâ"
"I know," she sighs. "You're an adult. I just don't love the idea."
"I get that," you say gently. "But it's fine. Really. It's hidden, yeahâbut not in a scary way."
There's a beat of silence before you add, almost offhand, "Although... people in town do talk."
Her gaze sharpens immediately.
"About?"
"About my neighbor," you say, a small laugh slipping out. "Apparently he's been up there forever. Everyone has an opinion, but no one says much."
"That doesn't make you uneasy?"
You pause, just for a second. "Not really. I mean, I met him yesterday. He was... normal. A little intense, maybe.
She doesn't look convinced.
"He even gave me a ride into town this morning," you add quickly, like it's no big deal. " ...and back
"A ride?" she repeats.
You stop to look up at the screen, finally aware of how that must sound.
"Mom, it was fine," you say. "We live on the same road. It was convenient, trulyâ
She exhales slowly. "I just don't like you being so isolated. Especially with people you don't know."
"I know," you say softly. "But today was good. I promise."
She studies your face through the screen, searching for something you're not even sure you could name.
"Just be careful," she says. "That's all I'm asking."
You nod.
"I will."
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
You're not sure when it became a routine.
At first, it was just convenience. You'd step outside and Simon would already be there, his red truck waiting at the end of the driveway.
Then it happened again.
And again.
Waking up. Getting ready. Eating breakfast standing by the counter because you never quite sit down anymore. Stepping outside into the cool air and the familiar sight of Simon and his dog waiting patiently for you.
Somewhere along the way, you started bringing him breakfast.
You didn't plan it. It just... happened. A plastic cup balanced carefully in your hand, still too hot to hold properly. And a sandwich wrapped in foil. You remember the first time you handed it to him-how he paused, just for a second, fingers hovering before taking it. His eyes flicked down to the cup, then back up to you.
"Didn't have to," he muttered, voice rough with sleep.
You shrugged it off, like it was nothing.
You did it again the next morning.
And the one after that.
Soon, it felt strange not to. Like something was missing when you stepped outside empty-handed.
Simon never commented on it again. He just took what you gave him every morning. Always made sure the dog stayed put while you climbed in. Always waited until you were settled before pulling away from the driveway.
"Hi baby," you'd coo, rubbing the happy dog's ear as you settle into the familiar leather of his car. Shadow-you'd come to learn the scary dog's name.
You don't remember when that became part of your normal either.
By the sixth day you stopped questioning it.
Simon always said he had business in town. Always said it like it was obvious. Like it explained everything.
And maybe it didâexcept some mornings, when you glanced toward the back of the truck, the bed was completely empty.
No freezers. No crates. Nothing.
You noticed it once.
Twice.
Then you stopped looking.
It was true what everyone said about himâhe was private. Didn't speak unless necessary. Most of your rides passed in silence, broken only by the sound of tires on rocks and dirt and your small comments about whatever you saw outside.
He was intense in ways that was hard to ignore.
On the way he watched the road, eyes steady, barely blinking. The way his jaw tightened when he smoked, like he was holding something back even when he was alone with you.
But there was softness there too-and that was the part that caught you off guard.
It slipped in when he spoke to Shadow, voice dropping low, careful, like the dog was something fragile instead of built like a tank. The way his scarred hand reached down without him even looking, fingers rubbing the dog's belly in slow, absent strokes, like muscle memory.
Even the way he asked about the radio. Not choosing for you. Just a quiet, "What d'you want to listen to?"
You didn't know when you'd started noticing these things. Only that once you did, you couldn't stop. The intensity didn't scare youâit made the softness feel deliberate.
It was.... pleasant.
Comforting even.
Two weeks had passed before someone finally said something.
"Sure looks like Simons has a sweet spot for the new girl in town," a voice from behind the counter says, making you instantly perk up.
"Hm?" You look up, paintbrush still in hand.
They nod toward the window.
Outside, the red truck waits.
"Hes my neighbor," you shrug.
the comment lingers, even after the conversation ends.
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
"You should speak more to everyone," you murmur later that night, leaning your head against the window, tired and worn out from the day.
"You eaten yet?" He asks without glancing over, completely ignoring your comment.
"You really do need to learn how to have a conversation Simon," you roll your eyes, shifting your position to where your knees are facing his side, careful not to bother the sleeping pup in the middle.
"Don't know what you mean," he hums.
You smile to yourself, eyes on the road ahead. After a bit, you add, the interaction from later that day crossing your mind, "Someone mentioned you've been acting... different lately."
He glances over for half a second. "Different?"
"Mmhm." You nod.
He doesn't say anything after that, just nods once and keeps driving.
"Have you eaten?"
You click your tongue.
"No."
The car slowly comes to a stop in front of you home, and so does the engine.
This wasn't part of the routine.
You look at him confused, head tilted to the side.
"Worked on a fresh cut today." He says, reaching forward to take the keys out. "Wanted you to have it,"
You blink, caught off guard. Before you can decide what to say, the truck door opens and he's already stepping out, calling Shadow after him with a short sound.
You watch him circle the hood, a flicker of something tightening in your chest when he reaches for your door.
It opens before you can protest. You hesitate before swinging your legs out anyway, letting him guide you without quite remembering when you agreed to it.
He doesn't crowd you. Just walks ahead, like he expects you to follow.
And you do.
When you stop at the door, keys cool in your palm, he stays a step behind you. Close enough that you're aware of his presence, the quiet weight of it pressing between your shoulder blades as you unlock the door.
You glance back once. He meets your eyes, unreadable.
Inside, you barely get the chance to say anything before he turns to the dog.
"Stay," he saysâlow and firm by the door.
"Simonâhe doesn't have to" you say, too soft to be much of a protest.
Shadow listens anyway.
Your house oozes warmth. Simon thinks.
Not just heatâthe kind of warmth that settles in your chest comfortably. It's nothing like his place. His is all cold surfaces and silence, everything where it's supposed to be, like no one's meant to linger too long.
Yours doesn't try to hide you.
There's stuff everywhere. Half-finished things. A stack of sketchbooks by the couch, paint-stained rags shoved into a corner, a couple of framed pieces leaning against the wall because you haven't decided where they go yet. It looks like someone keeps starting things and coming back to them.
It smells like you.
Not perfume. Not candles. Just you - soap, clean fabric, something faintly warm. Simon notices it as soon as he steps inside. It's different from his place.
His house never really smells like anything at all. It's just... neutral.
The kitchen's small. He isn't.
He fills the space without trying, shoulders close to the cabinets as he reaches for your drawers to find what you need. Most of them are empty. Just spices. The basics. He sets the steak down, still wrapped in paper.
You begin fixing things that don't need fixing to distract yourself. Sliding a notebook out of the way. Moving a mug. Your chest stays tight. It's the first time he's been inside your house, and the thought sits heavier than it should.
This is definitely not how you pictured your night ending.
The butcher up the road, in your kitchen. Talking about a fresh cut like it's nothing. Like this isn't strange. Like he hasn't just stepped into your space and started moving through it with quiet ease. The shift from how the night should've gone to how it's unfolding now hits you all at once, sharp enough to leave you reeling.
You reach for the remote, turning the TV on just to break it. The sound. The stillness. Anything. You crack a window open too, breeze slipping in as you step back, giving yourself something else to focus on.
"Do you need help?" you ask finally, mostly to fill the space.
"Mmm," he hums, "Where do you keep your pans?"
"Oh." You move on instinct, opening drawers, pulling things out. A pan. A cutting board. Knives. Setting them down beside him without thinking twice.
He works quietly. Salt first. Pepper. The sound of it hitting the meat sharp in the small kitchen. He heats the pan, waits for it, tests it with a flick of water that hisses and disappears.
You lean back against the counter, watching.
The steak hits the pan and the sound fills the room - loud, immediate. He doesn't rush it. Just let's it sit, pressing it down once with the tongs, then leaves it alone. The smell starts slow, then builds. Rich. Savory.
It crawls through the air until your stomach reacts before you can stop it.
You laugh under your breath, hand pressing briefly to your middle.
"That smells amazing," you beam.
He flips the steak once. Cuts into it to check. Juice beads along the surface, catching on his fingers as he pulls a small piece free.
He lifts his hand without comment, holding it out toward you.
You swear you short-circuit for a second before leaning in, taking the bite he's offering, your lips lightly grazing his finger.
He stares at youâopenly this time. Long enough that it makes you shift, a shiver running through you before you look away with a quiet, breathy laugh.
"Wow," you murmur, eyes fluttering shut as you chew, letting the taste settle properly this time.
You swallow, then glance back at him, still leaning against the counter. "That's... fucking incredible, Simon."
It slips out softer than you mean it.
For a second, you forget about everything else-the tightness from earlier, the fact that he's here, in your kitchen. There's only the warmth on your tongue and the way the moment hangs between you.
"How long have you been in this business?" you ask after a pause, watching his face like you're checking for a reaction. Questions aren't usually part of your routine. Neither is this.
"Long time," he answers simply as he fixes the plates.
"Old man ran the business. Guess I kind of inherited it."
You hum, thinking it over. "Must keep you busy.
Between the shop and... everything else."
"Enough," he says, shrugging one shoulder. "Mostly keeps me close to home."
That's when he adds, almost as an afterthought,
"Don't like going into town much."
You snort softly. "Could've fooled me."
You meant it as a joke-only half truth.
He exhales through his nose, something like a huff, and shakes his head once before turning back to the plate.
The conversation ends there, easy and unspoken.
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
The better part of your day had been spent exploring and wandering the area. Something you haven't gotten to properly do since you got here.
Bare feet planted right on the grass as you wandered into the field behind your backyard, the earth cool and uneven beneath you. You kept breathing in deep without really thinking about itâgrass, dirt, something clean in the air. Birds flew low overhead, noisy and playful.
The trees out here were huge. Like, old old. Thick trunks, branches stretching everywhere. You caught yourself staring up at them, wondering how long they'd been standing there, what they'd seen before any of this existed.
You kept walking, pencil moving absentmindedly as you added loose doodles to the sketchbook tucked tightly under your arm. Shapes. Lines. Little half-ideas you'd probably forget later.
You explored every area you could think of, picking rocks and flowers as you went.
Every area except one.
You didn't mean to head that way at first. It just... happened. Your steps slowed as the land subtly shifted, the trees thinning just enough for a familiar structure to come into view.
The closer you got, the clearer it became.
Simon's barn sat just beyond the tree line-close enough that if you turned around, you could still see your cottage. The roof peeked through the branches, almost reassuring. Close enough that you told yourself it didn't really count as trespassing.
The barn itself was a faded, rusty red, the paint chipped and sun-worn, like it hadn't been touched in years. It clearly needed a new coat. You filed that thought away automatically, like you did with everything else.
You slowed your steps, circling wider instead of heading straight toward it.
For some reason, your mind kept dragging you back to the first day you'd seen him there. Bloody. Intimidating.
Almost unreal. The unease returned now, settling low in your stomach as uou get closer.
You'd been sneaking glances at the place ever since, careful not to get too close. Careful to remember that conversation.
"So will I ever get to see your workplace?" you'd asked once, half-teasing.
All he'd given you was that small, almost-missed smile.
"S'not meant for a bunny like you to see."
Today, though?
Today, you wanted that angle.
Simon be damned.
You huffed softly to yourself, shaking your head as you settled into the grass and opened your sketchbook. He really did have a way with words.
You started with the barn first-loose lines, quick strokes-then added his cottage beside it. It stood only a few feet away, smaller than yours, but somehow cozier. It looked like him. Minimal. No decorations. No unnecessary clutter. Just a single chair on the lawn, a small table beside it, an ashtray resting on top.
You shaded, erased and worked until the world narrowed down to paper and graphite.
You looked like a lost bunny.
The thought crossed Simon's mind as he watched you move along the upper slope behind the barn. Delicate sundress, sketchbook tucked under your arm, hair pulled back out of your face. Careful steps, like you weren't sure you were meant to be there.
He paused what he was doing and just stared.
You'd been out since early. He remembered you mentioning you had a few days free from work, maybe more, before someone else found something for you to fix or soften or make pretty. You didn't seem like the type who sat still for long. Always moving. Always making.
Simon hadn't meant to care. He usually didn't.
Years of work had trained that out of him. Grind. Routine. Blood when there had to be blood. He liked his life simple, contained, predictable. The land. The barn. The quiet. When he heard the house down the hill was being rented, it pissed him off. Change always did. New noise. New eyes.
Then you showed up.
He didn't know when exactly he started noticing the warmthâyour laughter carrying up the hill, music bleeding out of your windows, sound settling into places that had been empty for too long. It didn't belong here. Neither did you.
And yet.
You stopped near the side of the barn, turning slowly, taking it in. He watched you look around like you were measuring the space, committing it to memory. You could still see your cottage from there - close enough that you were probably telling yourself it didn't count as trespassing.
He wiped his hands, stripped the gloves off, and stepped outside.
By the time he rounded the corner, you were already sitting, sketchbook open on your lap. Pencil moving.
Focused enough that you didn't notice him right away.
You were so in deep you didn't even notice the shadow towering over you at first.
He stopped a few feet in front of you-close enough to notice the tension in your shoulders, the way your fingers smudged charcoal without you realizing it.
"Can I help you."
You startledânot badly, but enough that he knew you'd forgotten the rest of the world existed.
You looked up at him, your eyes flicking briefly over the apron, the stains, the evidence of the day's work.
Your pulse jumpedâhe could see itâbut you held his gaze anyway.
"JustâŚ.. scoping the area," you say easily, like you hadn't been caught at all, even though your heart was pounding. "Gaining inspiration."
He exhaled through his nose.
"Told you," he said. "This place ain't meant for a bunny like you."
He meant it.
Your cheeks warmed. You didn't deny it.
"I didn't walk in, though, did I."
Silence settled between you âthick, but not uncomfortable. Your pencil resumed its quiet movement against the page. He stayed where he was. Didn't tell you to pack up. Didn't step back either. You took it as a good sign.
He watched you for another moment, then shifted-just slightly. Half a turn. Enough to give you a better angle.
He didn't comment on it, but you noticed anyway.
He stayed like thatâhalf-turned, broad shoulders cutting against the quiet of the field.
The contrast caught you off guard.
He didn't belong in a place this calm, you thought. Not with the way he was built-all sharp lines and restrained violence, hands stained from work that wasn't meant to be pretty. And yet the grass bent easily around his boots. Wildflowers pushed up near the barn wall, soft and careless, brushing against wood that had seen such degeneracy.
Sunlight filtered unevenly through the trees, catching the edge of his jaw, the scar across his face, the quiet tension in the way he held himself like he was always braced for impact.
Your pencil hovered uselessly above the page.
Thisâthisâwas the angle you hadn't known you were looking for. The way he looked out of place and perfectly rooted all at once. Feral, yesâbut framed by something gentle. Something alive.
The thought settled before you could talk yourself out of it.
"Let me draw you," you said suddenly, not even pausing to think.
"Now?"
"Like this?" he asked, glancing down at his clothes.
Your cheeks warmed, suddenly aware of how dirty he must feel.
"Right-sorry, that was a weird ask," you laughed it off.
"I'll just draw your house." You shrugged, getting up from the grown and walking past him.
"Fine,â he said. "I'll do it."
You stopped short and turned back to him.
"You sure? I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I'm not the fastest-,"
He started walking before you could say anything else, already heading toward the cottage like the decision had been made the moment you asked.
You look around for half a second furrowing your brows before following.
The ground changed under your feet as you left the grass, dirt packed firmer near the house. Up close, his place felt even smaller than it had from afar. The door stood open just enough for the smell of him to drift outâwood, smoke, something iron-sharp beneath it.
He stopped at the steps and sat, elbows resting loosely on his knees, forearms bare. The position looked natural on him.
You looked at him properly then.
The daylight caught his face in a way that made you pause.
You noticed things you hadn't before.
The tattoo peeking from his neck and rolled sleeves. The way his jaw tightened, almost imperceptibly, every few moments.
He looked. feral. You weren't sure that was the right word. Beastly, maybe. Grounded. Dangerous in a way that made your thoughts take a turn you didn't want to examine too closely.
You tightened your grip on the pencil, your eyes drifting despite yourself.
Brutal. Masculine.
Your heartbeat picked up as unholy thoughts flashed through your mind.
"You alright, bunny?" he asked.
You froze-caught, like a deer in headlights. Heat rushed to your face.
"Yeah," you laughed softly, shaking your head as you forced your gaze back to his face.
"Here" you say, already leaning closer before he could answer. You reached into your bag for one of the flowers you picked earlier. Small and delicate.
As you lifted your hand toward him, he tensed and leaned back slightly.
You were about to apologize when he spoke.
"Careful. Don't want you getting all dirty."
You blinked-then laughed again.
"Can I?" you asked again.
This time, he stayed still.
You tucked the small white flower behind his ear, fingers brushing skin warmed by the sun. He watched you closely, eyes tracking every movement.
The contrastâhim and the delicate bloom resting thereâfelt almost cinematic.
"You have soft hands, bunny." he says, dead serious.
"Thanks." You breathed out, not realizing you were holding it in.
"Why do you call me that?" You ask after a few minutes.
He shrugged, like it had never needed explaining.
"Because you look like one."
You huffed a quiet laugh, shaking your headâbut you stayed. Kept drawing. Like the answer was enough.
You went back to his face. Really focused. Honey-brown eyes. Thick brows. Plump, chapped lips. The scar cutting across him, running from one eye, down his nose, into his cheek like a map of where he'd been.
You shifted slightly, adjusting your grip on the pencil as you leaned closer, angling the page to catch the light.
Your knee brushed the step without you noticing.
"You got a boyfriend?"
Your hand stilled mid-line.
"Why the sudden question?"
"Well," he said evenly, "you asked one. Now it's my turn."
You laughed at that.
"No," you said. "I don't."
He hummed in acknowledgement.
Silence settled again, filled only by the pleasant sound of trees moving with the wind. You wanted to keep talking. Wanted to know him. But you weren't sure where the line was.
"You," you started. "How long have you been up here?"
"Mmm. Couple years."
You click your tongue.
"Couple years? I didn't know vague answers were allowed."
He shrugged.
"You can allow whatever you want."
You smile at that, soft and a little crooked, and let your pencil move again.
For a while, neither of you speaks.
The sounds around you settle into something easyâ the wind threading through the trees, the faint creak of the barn in the distance, the quiet scratch of charcoal against paper. Simon stays still on the steps, only shifting when his knee starts to ache, careful not to disturb your line of sight.
He glances down at the page after a minute, curiosity getting the better of him.
"So," he says, casual, like it just occurred to him. "You always draw scenery?"
You hum thoughtfully, eyes never leaving the sketch.
"Sometimes. Helps me understand how things fit together."
"People included?"
"Especially people," you admit.
He watches the way your mouth curves around the words, the focus in your eyes. There's something intimate about being studied like thisânot in the way people usually look at him, measuring or wary.
"You any good?" he asks.
You laugh quietly. "Guess that depends who you ask."
"Hm." A beat. "You don't look like you're guessing."
You glance up at him then, catching the corner of his mouth lifting just slightly. Not quite a smile. Something warmer than indifference.
You go back to drawing.
Time slips by without either of you noticing.
The light shifts gradually, the sun lowering behind the trees, turning the field gold and then amber. Shadows stretch across the ground, softening the sharp edges of everything around you. The flower behind his ear wilts a little, petals curling inward, but you leave it there.
Simon moves once when his leg goes numb, rolling his shoulders, flexing his hands. Letting out a low groan of discomfort. You adjust without thinking, tracking the movement, adapting your lines.
"You don't have to stay still," you say after a moment of watching him.
"I know," he replies. Then, quieter, "I don't mind."
You chuckle to yourself, heat creeping up your neck as you look back down at the page.
"You're a good model," you say, a little too quickly.
The breeze cools as evening creeps in, brushing over your bare arms and drawing a light shiver from you.
You shift your weight, knees stiff, and finally lean back, lowering the sketchbook into your lap.
"I think that's enough," you say softly.
Simon straightens a little. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
You hesitate before standing, brushing grass from your dress. There's a strange reluctance in the air now, like neither of you wants to be the one to end it.
You step closer, tearing the page free and holding it up beside his face. The distance shrinks without you meaning it to.
You tilt your head, eyes flicking between him and the sketch, comparing angles and the way the light catches him in real time versus graphite.
"Here."
He grabs it without question. For a long moment, he doesn't say anything.
That usual uneasy feeling in your stomach creeps up slowly, the one that shows up every time you finish a piece. Like you did something a little too personal and now it's just... out there.
Then, quietly, "You see a lot."
"O-oh," you say, eyes wide in surprise. "Only what's there." You lift a hand, brushing the comment off like it's nothing.
He nods once.
"Thank you," he says.
The words hang steady.
"Of course!" You smile softly.
The sun has dipped low now, the sky washed in muted pinks and purples. You step back, slinging your bag over your shoulder.
"I should probably head back," you say. "Before it gets dark."
"Yeah." He stands as well. Drawing still in hand.
"You can keep that, if you want," You call out.
"I owe you a better one, though." you laugh lightly-but the sound fades as soon as it leaves you, suddenly aware of how that might've come out.
Before you can overthink it, you give a quick wave and head down the slope, not waiting for his reaction.
His eyes linger a bit longer till you fully disappear from his view, gaze dropping to the piece of paper then back at you, breathing out slow.
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
It's been a month now since you've settled into your new life. A month of building and creating and slowly disappearing into your little cottage, filling it with your things until it felt like a place you'd lived in for years instead of weeks.
A month, too, of growing closer to the local butcher.
The one who had a reputation for keeping to himself. For not interacting with anyone. Somehow, that rule never applied to you.
You were almost inseparable now. Him showing up unannounced to fix small thingsâa loose lightbulb, a squeaky door-like he'd been waiting for an excuse.
Any time you needed something from town or had a job lined up, he'd already be outside your door, keys in hand.
Sometimes he'd bring uncooked steak even when you'd try to refuse. Fresh cuts wrapped in paper, held out with a casual shrug. He'd say it didn't fit in his fridge. Leftover. No big deal.
A stupid white lie. One that worked every single time.
He'd gotten softer, too. Softer than you suspected anyone else had ever seen him. Letting you borrow his thick coatsâor leaving them behind and claiming he'd forgotten them. When you tried to give them back, he'd just shake his head, lips pressed into that tight little smile, like the conversation was already over.
"It's cold, bunny. Shouldn't be wearing that outside," he says immediately, voice stern and low, eyes cutting straight through you.
You swallow, feigning innocence as you shrug one shoulder.
"I thought it was just gonna be a light storm,"
you reply plainlyâignoring the warning as you lean back on your hands, legs crossed, chest subtly pushed forward while you look up at him.
He scoffs and drops down beside you with an exaggerated huff, his damp shoulder bumping into yours. He's closeâclose enough that you can feel his heat, the steady pull of his breath. It makes your head spin.
His forearms rest on his knees as he settles in, but his eyes never leave you. Those same hungry eyes that have been plaguing your thoughts every night.
"It's gonna get really cold," he repeats, quieter now, looking straight at you.
You swallow thickly before standing, deliberately slow, giving him a full view.
"I can handle a little cold," you tease.
You barely make it inside before you're running, laughter spilling out as you hear his heavy footsteps thudding after you.
Now you're stuck inside, alone, heavy rain hammering against the roof and rattling the windows. Moisture beads along the glass near the heater, the room dim and warm. You sit on the bed with a towel wrapped around your body and hair, picking at a bowl of cut fruit balanced on your thigh.
It's one of those nights.
The kind where loneliness creeps in quietly, twisting into something darker. Where your mind betrays you with memories of every interaction you've had with him.
You'd wanted to relax. Wash the day off, eat fruit and watch tv.
But moments like this don't let you.
They turn that restlessness into something else entirely.
It makes your cunt ache.
Your thoughts drift back to the time when he showed up unannounced, claiming your grass was too high. Brought his own tools, mowed the lawn like it was nothing. Sweat clung to his skin as the sun hit him, shirt damp and sticking in all the wrong places.
You'd worn an incredibly short sundress. The kind that shows off every inch of your curves.
You remember the way he wiped sweat from his forehead with the thin fabric, lifting it just enough to give you a glimpse of his hard bulging stomach. The sight had made something low in your belly twitch.
The way his hand rested at the small of your back when you brought him cold lemonade. How close he stood. The smell of him-clean and earthy. The way his Adam's apple bobbed with every swallow.
Fuck.
Your left hand drifts down without thinkingâfirst over your chest, then higher, barely grazing your nipple. A quiet sound slips from your lips.
Your body feels overly sensitive. Needy.
You picture his hands on youâlarge, roughâteasing your skin, gripping your waist, your ass. Your free hand slides between your thighs and you gasp when your fingers brush against your slick heat.
You barely touch yourself at first. Just graze your clit. Then down your folds. A soft hiss escapes you.
You're already a mess. You have been since you stepped out of the shower.
His image won't leave your mind. Everything he'd do to you. Everything you'd let him do. You saw him differently today, and it did something to you. It was something you feared from the moment you started becoming close. But you pushed that thought down.
Your fingers begin to move in slow circles, the other hand latching onto your hardening nipple as your thoughts spiral. His hands. His weight. Him bending you over, tugging your hair.
Your thighs squeeze together.
You wonder what he'd smell like fresh from a shower. What he'd look like with water clinging to his skin, a towel slung low on his hips. The thought makes your toes curl.
Your breathing picks up as pleasure builds, slick heat spreading with every movement of your fingers.
A moan slips free.
"Simon," you breathe, barely above a whisper, like saying it out loud makes it too real.
Your hand moves from your nipple to your breast, groping desperately, trying to recreate the way his scarred hand would feel. Would he pinch you? Roll it between his fingers? Replace his hand with his mouth?
Your breaths turn uneven. Your hand between your thighs moves faster.
The image of today is burned into your mind-him rough and bloodied from work, yet speaking to you so softly. It's overwhelming. He consumes your thoughts until you nearly forget why you're even here.
"F-fuck," you moan, eyes falling open as you look down at yourselfânaked, wet, undone. Your hips lift, chasing the sensation.
"Si-"
Boom.
The crack of thunder is immediate, violent, followed by sudden darkness that steals the air from your lungs.
You jolt upright with a gasp, heart slamming against your ribs as if it's trying to escape. For a second you just sit there, frozen, the rain pounding against the roof like it's trying to cave it in.
"Oh-fuck," you whisper, the word shaky.
Your body catches up a second later. Awareness hits all at once and sends a fresh wave of panic through you. You scramble, grabbing the towel from the foot of the bed and wrapping it around yourself clumsily, hands trembling as you try to ground yourself. The room feels too quiet without the hum of electricity, the shadows stretching and shifting with every flash of lightning outside.
"Y/N!"
The sound of his voice cuts through the rain.
You fumble for your phone, fingers slick as you swipe the flashlight on, the harsh beam making you squint.
You don't stop to thinkâjust move. Sweats and a tshirt. You tug them on hastily, heart still racing as you rush down the hallway, the floor cold under your bare feet.
The power's out.
When you pull the door open, rain mist clings to the air immediately. Simon stands on your porch, shoulders damp, flashlight in hand, Shadow pressed close to his leg. His face shifts the moment he sees you-concern sharpening, eyes flicking over you like he's checking for injuries.
"Hey," he says, firm but low. "You okay?"
âIâyeahâ you nod too quickly, suddenly very aware of how warm your face feels, how close he is. "The power justâŚwent out."
"Yeah." His gaze lifts briefly to the dark windows behind you before settling back on you. "You're coming with me."
"What?" You blink. "Simon, it's really not-"
"Not up for discussion," he cuts in, already stepping past you like he owns the place. He moves with practiced ease, flashlight sweeping through the room as he heads for your bedroom. "Storm's getting worse.
This place isn't insulated well enough for it."
You trail after him, flustered, hugging yourself as you watch him grab a few essentialsâyour charger, a hoodie, shoesâmoving through your space with unsettling familiarity.
"I'll be fine," you insist, even though your voice lacks conviction. "It's just for the night, plus my things are here. I need to make sure everything's in order."
"Y/n," he replies, glancing back at you. His tone softens, just slightly. "Humor me."
You don't argue after that.
The rain blurs everything on the drive over. The road glistens under the headlights, water streaking across the windshield in uneven patterns as the wipers struggle to keep up. The cab of the truck is warm, quiet except for the storm and the low hum of the engine.
Every now and then, lightning flashes bright enough to turn the inside of the truck white, and you catch him glancing over at you like he's checking you're still there.
When you finally pull up to his place, your nerves spike all over again.
You swallow as you step out, rain speckling your skin, heart pounding harder with each step toward his door. This would be your first time inside. After everything. After all this time.
He unlocks it and nudges the door open, motioning you in first.
The warmth hits you immediately.
The house smells like himâburnt wood, something clean and sharp, iron underneath it all. It's quiet, small, almost stark. The living space is simple: couch, TV, dining table pushed close to the kitchen. No decorations. No clutter.
And then you see it. Your drawing. The same one you drew of him months ago.
It sits on the side table framed neatly. It surprised you. Your steps slow without you meaning to, something tightening in your chest as you stare at it. It's not really a big deal but, seeing your drawing thereâframed, dusted, given a placeâfeels strangely intimate. Like walking into someone's thoughts and realizing you've been there longer than you thought.
"Oh my god," you laugh softly, reaching for it. "I can't believe you kept this."
"Hm?" He glances over, distracted at first. Then he sees what you're holding. "Oh. Yeah." He shrugs, like it's obvious. "You make beautiful art."
The words hit harder than they should.
Your face warms instantly as you duck your head, pretending to inspect the frame. "This was so long ago. I thought you'd thrown it away."
"I would never," he says, without hesitation.
Something short-circuits in your brain at that. You clear your throat, setting the drawing back where it belongs before you can overthink it.
"That's... sweet," you say, lighter than you feel.
You move toward the couch, perching on the edge at first before letting yourself sink back. It's smaller than yours, but comfortable.
Simon disappears into the kitchen for a moment, and you hear the faint clink of a kettle being set down. You sit on the couch, hugging the mug when he hands it to you, grateful for something warm to hold onto.
"Wait," you frown slightly, glancing toward the dark kitchen. "How'd you even make tea if the power's out?"
He pauses for a second before answering. "Backup electric stove,"
"Keep it around for storms." He adds
You blink. "Of course you do."
He almost smiles.
The silence that follows is comfortable, not awkward. Just the storm outside and the low crackle of the fire starting to catch as he moves to the hearth. You watch him from the couch as he kneels, stacking logs with practiced ease, striking the match. The flames take quickly, casting a soft orange glow across the room.
"There," he says, standing again. "That'll help."
He grabs his coat from the back of a chair as he passes, hesitating only a second before draping it over your shoulders. The weight of it makes you exhale.
"You don't have toâ"
"I know," he says quietly. "Drink your tea."
You do, pulling the coat tighter around yourself. It smells like him. When he sits down beside you, it's close but not pressing. His knee brushes yours. Just once. Neither of you move away.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah," you nod. "Just... settling."
"Mm." He leans back slightly, stretching his arm along the back of the couch. Not touching you. Not yet. But there, like an open invitation you don't acknowledge out loud.
You shift a little closer anyway, more instinct than decision. The fire pops softly. The storm fades into background noise. For a moment, it almost feels like you've done this beforeâlike this is normal.
"You're quiet," he says after a while.
"Oh my god," you scoff softly. "Are you calling me annoying?"
He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed, and then his shoulders shake with that quiet laugh you've come to love.
"No," he says. "Just noticing."
You smile into your mug, cheeks warm.
"Y'know, i never really liked tea till i met you," you mention out of nowhere.
And he looks at you with an almost blank expression, it would've made you nervous if it was for the twitch to the side of his lips.
"Tea's good for you,"
The fire crackles. The coat stays around your shoulders. This is definitely not how you imagined your night going, but you couldn't really complain.
The quiet stretches again, but it's different now. He's closer than before-not just beside you, but aware of you in a way that makes your skin prickle. When you shift, he shifts too. When you breathe, he seems to notice.
"You're shaking," he says softly.
"I'm not," you lie automatically.
He doesn't call you on it. He just reaches out, tentative at first, resting a hand on your arm. It's warm, and it has you spiraling. Just a minute ago you were talking normally to each other, but the air shifted.
"Come here," he murmurs.
It's not an order. Not this time. Just an invitation.
You hesitate for half a second before leaning into him, your temple brushing his shoulder. His arms come around you slowly, careful, like he's giving you time to change your mind. When you don't, he tightens his hold just a little.
This is new for the both of you.
Your heart starts to race, loud in your ears, the warmth of him seeping into places you weren't prepared for.
His hand moves absently, rubbing small circles into your back. Your fingers curl into his shirt without thinking. This isn't just friendly anymore.
You pull back slightly, laughing under your breath as if that might diffuse the moment. "Okay," you say, voice a little breathless. "Iâ I need a second."
He releases you immediately, hands dropping, but his eyes stay on you.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you nod quickly, already stepping away.
You turn toward the kitchen, more to put space between you than because you actually need anything.
The counter is cool under your palms when you brace yourself against it, breathing in slowly, trying to stop your heart from beating out of your chest.
You're raking your brain trying to put yourself back together, breathing in the cool air when you hear his footsteps behind you.
"You don't have to run," he says gently.
You glance over your shoulderâand that's when you realize how close he is again. Not pressing. Not touching. Just close enough that the room suddenly feels much smaller than it did a moment ago.
You straighten without thinking, taking a step back.
The space behind you disappears faster than you expect, the counter cold against your lower back. You didn't mean to corner yourself, but Simon always had a way of filing a room without ever touching you.
He's only a hair away from you. You could feel his warm breath with a hint of black tea.
Your hand comes up on instinctâflat against his chest.
He stops immediately.
"Simon," you say, quieter than you meant to.
His eyes drop to your hand, then back to your face. He waits.
"If we do this," you say, swallowing, "I don't want to pretend it's nothing."
A beat passes.
Then he nods once. Slow and certain. It's crazy how quickly your nerves and fears ease.
"It's not," he says.
His hands settle on your waist, firm, pulling you flush against him. The contact knocks the air from your lungs, your body reacting before your mind can catch up.
His mouth finds yours slowly this time-testing, deliberate. Like he's giving you a chance to pull away.
You don't.
The kiss deepens, unhurried but heavy, his lips moving against yours with a pressure that makes your knees soften. He kisses you again. And again. Each one lingering longer than the last.
His hands stay at your waist, thumbs digging in just enough to remind you he's there, holding you in place.
You breathe him in-cigarettes, beer, heat-and it makes your head spin. Your fingers curl around his neck, tugging him closer when he pulls back, chasing his mouth without thinking.
"Taste so fucking good," He exhales against your lips, a low sound, before kissing you againârougher now.
Hungrier.
As the kiss deepens and your thoughts start to slip, you barely register his hand moving-gliding over your chest, your stomachâuntil it slides into your shorts with ease. You're already wet.
"Fuck, bunnyâyou're fucking soaked," he grunts, hands gripping you, making you gasp in surprise. He doesn't pull away, just uses the moment to kiss you again, shoving his warm tongue into your mouth.
He sucks and licks, messy and unrestrained, saliva slipping down your chin as he keeps you close, like he can't get enough.
You feel your knees buckle as he begins rubbing your clothes core with the palm of his hands, his lips trailing down your neck.
"Ah-" you squeal in surprise, the sound tearing out of you before you can stop it.
"Hump on me, bunny," he murmurs, low and steady, stilling his hand just enough to make the words land harder.
"W-what?" You blink, pulled back into yourself by his voice, trying to make sense of it as you look up at him.
His expression doesn't change.
"Want you to grind this wet cunt on me bunny," he pressed his hand harder into you.
"Oh myâŚ.. god," you breathe, the words barely there as you roll your hips down, tentative at first, trying to find your rhythm. You gasp when the pressure shifts, when his hand flexes and your body lights up in response.
Your thighs start to tremble, weak and unsteady, and you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, anchoring yourself as your movement grows more desperate.
"Thaaat's it," he encourages, his voice rough, threaded with something that sends a fresh wave of heat down your spine. "Just like that. Feel good for me."
Your hips move on their own now, chasing the sensation without thought. One hand grips the back of his neck, fingers digging in as you struggle to stay upright. You're acutely aware of yourself-too warm, too sensitive, skin slick with sweat, the contrast of cool air and burning need making everything sharper, more overwhelming. The pleasure is dizzying, addictive, pulling you further out of yourself with every movement.
You can't imagine what you must look like right now.
You're sure you wouldn't recognize yourselfâmessy, unfocused, clinging to him as your body reacts faster than your mind can follow. Every shift makes your breath hitch, every second stretching thinner than the last.
The pressure suddenly increases, firmer now, more insistent. A broken moan spills from you before you can stop it, your hand flying to your mouth to stop the embarrassing sounds coming from you.
"No," he mutters, catching your wrist and pulling it away, pinning it above your head with one strong grip.
His other hand doesn't slow. If anything, it moves with more purpose, stealing the strength right out of your legs. Your head tips back against the wall as you let him take over completely, your body yielding without protest.
Your vision blurs. Everything goes white at the edges, your mouth falling open on a silent gasp as you cling to him, holding on like he's the only solid thing left. The sensation rolls through you in waves, too big to process all at once, leaving you breathless and shaking.
He keeps you close, holding you steady as it passes, murmuring praise against your skinâsoft words, grounding wordsâuntil your breathing slowly evens out again. Your chest feels tight, full in a way you don't quite understand yet.
"I-" you try to speak, but the thought slips away before you can finish it.
Without warning, his arms hook behind your knees and lift you effortlessly. You gasp, startled, hands flying to his shoulders as you cling to him, eyes wide, your body leaning into his instinctively despite the shock.
"What are you doing?" you ask, breathless.
"M'gonna take care of you properly, bunny."
His room is simple. A bed. A chair. A small desk. No TV.
No pictures. Exactly what you expected.
He lays you down carefully before gripping the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. Moonlight spills through the open window, tracing every scar and mark along his skin, the faint trail of hair leading up his chest. It makes you press your legs together, biting your lip.
"Like what you see?" he teases.
"Shut up," you mutter-cut off when his mouth crashes into yours. The kiss is hard, wet, unrelenting. He doesn't hesitate, tugging the flimsy top over your head and tossing it aside, leaving you bare beneath him.
He pulls back just enough to look at you, and you catch the strain in his pants, dark and obvious. Your mouth goes dry at the sight.
His hands slide up your stomach, stopping at the hem of your panties. He doesn't pull them down. Just hooks his fingers there, eyes roaming over you like he's taking inventory. It almost makes you self-conscious.
The hunger in his gaze burns through you, settles low in your belly, makes you feel exposed in a way that's almost empowering.
Your hands fall uselessly to your sides as you whine softly, body arching. Back arching as you expose yourself more to him. You want his weight back on youâhis warmth. You need it.
"Look at you, bunny," he murmurs, hands coming back to grip your stomach before leaning up to cup your breasts. "So fuckin perfect."
Your head tips back at the sensation, a soft, surprised sound slipping from your throat. Heat coils tight in your lower belly, dampness clinging to the fabric between your legs. The cool night air brushing over your skin only makes it sharper.
His eyes rake over you, eyes shining as he takes you in.
Your chest rises and falls unevenly, skin flushed, lips swollen from biting and kissing. He leans down, mouth trailing from your neck to your chest before closing around your nipple.
You moan, fingers tangling in his hair as his tongue circles, sucking hard. His other hand grips your opposite breast, kneading, rough enough to make your breath stutter. Dark marks bloom in his wake.
"Si-" you swallow hard, hands clutching his shoulders as his mouth drags lower, down your stomach, lingering before pressing against your soaked panties.
He inhales deeply.
You're so sensitive it makes you shake, his touch warm and overwhelming, like he knows exactly how to pull every reaction from you.
His lips brush your thighs, soft at first, teasing. His tongue slips out, tasting you through the fabric, biting and nibbling while his hands draw slow circles along your legs. Your thighs tremble, the sensation sharp enough to sting your eyes.
"Smell so fucking good," he mutters.
"Please," you whisper, lifting your head to look at him.
"Need you."
Your body burns with want, embarrassment mixing with it until you don't know which is worse.
"Be patient," he groans, eyes flicking up to meet yours.
"I'm gonna take my time with this sweet cunt."
You whine, defeated, frustration curling tight in your chest.
True to his word, he doesn't rush. He kisses, licks, bitesâtaking his time, savoring every sound you make. You can hear it in his breathing, feel it in the way his grip tightens.
Your hands fly everywhere, unsure where to land as his mouth traces every freckle, every curve, every soft stretch of skin.
His fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, thick and rough, pausing there. The thought of how easily he could tear them away makes your breath hitch.
"Don't zone out on me," he murmurs, tapping your hip before hooking his fingers properly into the fabric. He looks at you, waiting.
"Please."
He kisses your stomach once before tugging them down, tapping your ass so you lift for him. He slides them off with practiced ease, tucks them into his back pocket without a word.
You instinctively try to close your legs, face burningâ but he grips your thighs, forcing them apart. His stare is slow, intense as he takes you in, swollen and slick, clit peeking out, folds glistening in the moonlight.
"Prettiest fuckin' pussy l've ever seen," he groans, hands rubbing up and down your thighs, gaze burning into you until you tremble under it.
"Stop messing around," you reply, tummy filled with butterflies as he continues to watch you with mindful eyes. You lift your hips up, wanting any sort of friction from the man.
He smirks, leaning down without breaking eye contact.
His tongue slips out, presses flat against youâcovering you fully, dragging over your hole and your clit before he seals his mouth around you.
The contact steals the breath right out of your lungs.
You throw your head back instantly, overwhelmed by the heat of his mouthâwarm, wet-slick with his saliva and your own juices. It's too much all at once, your body reacting before you can even think.
He takes his time with it. Licking. Sucking. Lapping at every sensitive spot, tongue tracing your folds with intention. A low moan leaves his throat, vibrating straight through you, sending a sharp jolt up your spine.
He grunts into you, fully focused now, like nothing else exists. His tongue doesn't stop, doesn't rushâjust works you steadily while his cock strains hard and aching beneath him. Every sound you make matters.
Every moan, every broken whine, every shaky plea. You feel it in the way he presses closer, the way his breath stutters.
You were a weakness he learned to accept the moment he met you.
He pulls back just long enough to make you shiver before pressing a finger against you. Your mouth snaps shut as you watch, breath caught. His fingers are thick. Calloused. The stretch alone makes you slicker.
One finger pushes in. Slow. Then a second, following behind it, filling you deeper.
"Oh my god, Simonâ"
They're big. So big it takes a second for him to settle, fingers stopping fully buried inside you before his mouth drops back to your clit, sucking it in again like he's been waiting for it.
Your thighs start to shake. Your end is nearing embarrassingly quick. But you didn't care, only focusing on the immense pleasure he was giving you.
"C'mon, give it to me," he groaned against your cunt, fingers rubbing inside you faster, harder. Your thighs shook, and the room filled with the sound of your squelching. "Gimme your cum."
It hits you in wavesâfast, blinding, overwhelming. You cry out, tears slipping free as your body tightens around his fingers, pleasure tearing through you in a way that leaves you sobbing. You've never felt anything like this. Never been this far gone.
The world narrows to sensation. Sound. Heat.
He laps it up like an animal, only adding to the sensitivity of your core. He doesn't let you come down.
"Si-" you whine, hands pushing at his head just enough to make him look at you.
"Hmm?" he hums, lips brushing a soft kiss where he just had you before standing up off the bed.
Your ears are still ringing from the mind-numbing orgasm, head fuzzy, body slow to catch up. Your eyes are wide as you stare at him, at the way his cock twitches between his thick thighs like it's got a mind of its own. You didn't even notice when he had fully undressed himself.
It's huge.
So thick it barely holds itself upright.
Your brain scrambles, a thousand thoughts crashing at once. There's no way. That can't possibly-
Would this even fit inside you?
But your body doesn't care what your mind thinks.
Your heart kicks up again, anticipation curling low in your stomach, your stillâsensitive, drooling mess aching for more even after everything it's just been through. The sting is still there. The fullness lingers. And somehow, you want it again anyway.
The tip of his shaft catches the light, a thick vein running along it, pulsing. His balls hang heavy and full beneath it. Trimmed hair. Thick, solid thighs flexing when he shifts his weight.
You're pretty sure you're drooling when you're ripped out of your thoughts when he speaks.
"You think you can take it, bunny?"
Your body burns, but you nod nonetheless. The arousal you felt was almost too much to bare.
"Let me see that pretty cunt," he lifts your knees up, exposing both of your holes.
Your arms hook beneath your knees, making it easier for him to position himself, lining his cock right at your greedy hole. Your heart pounds in anticipation, lip caught between your teeth hard enough you're sure you might draw blood.
He drags the head along your clit first, smearing you with his precumâthen taps it there. Hard.
"Hurry-" you whine, brows furrowed in frustration.
"Just the tip, baby," he breathes, more to himself than you. "Just the tip."
For a split second, you think you understand what he means. Then he pushes in.
"Fuck-" you cry out, sharp and startled, your body locking up on instinct as your walls convulse around him, struggling to take his size. The sensation borders on too much immediatelyâtoo full, too sudden. It pulls a low grunt from his chest as he freezes, every muscle in his body going taut.
No. He can't do that. Can't hurt you.
"Shhh," he soothes quickly, voice dropping, steadying.
His hand moves where you need it most, rubbing slow, gentle circles, grounding you while your body panics around him.
Your head feels fuzzy. Like everything is happening underwater.
"Si-ah-too-" you babble, words falling apart as your eyes roll back, fingers digging into his shoulders. You can feel him inching deeper, barely moving, and every fraction of an inch feels like your body is being asked to do something impossible.
Too big. Too thick. There's no way this should fit.
He's not even halfway there, and you already feel stretched past anything you've known. Your mind flickers in and outâwhines and broken cries are the only sounds you can make as he keeps going slowly, carefully.
Your hands slide down to his, gripping tight like you're anchoring yourself.
"Hey," he whispers. "Breathe for me."
You try. A shaky inhale. Then another. Tears slip down your temples as you force your body to listen.
He looks nothing like you feel.
He's calm. Focused. Completely present. Sweat beads along his forehead, his chest rising and falling in measured breaths, eyes locked on where you're taking him in.
Then warmthâunexpected.
You jolt lightly as he spits, the heat of it hitting your clit before spreading where you're connected, slicking things enough to take the edge off.
"Too big," you cry, lifting your head to look.
You almost wish you hadn't.
It looks unreal. Wrong. Your body stretched wide around him, doing something you don't understand how it's doing. You swear you can feel him everywherâhigh, deep, overwhelming.
He hasn't looked away once.
"Almost in, baby," he tells you.
Then he stops. All the way in.
You lose your breath completely. You've never felt this fullâlike there's no space left inside you at all. His body presses close, skin slick with sweat and your heat, and you can't tell where you end and he begins anymore.
Everything inside you feels pulled tight, stretched to its limit. He's so deep you swear you feel him kiss your cervix.
Your eyes squeeze shut as you cling to his shoulder, focusing on the slow movement of his hands as they slide up your sides, steady, reassuring. You breathe again slowly . Letting your body adjust inch by inch.
Letting the shock fade.
"Tell me when to move," he says quietly.
You don't answer right away. Just a quick nod after a while of feeling his body pressed to yours.
When he finally does move-just barely-the discomfort softens into something else entirely.
Something deep and rolling and unfamiliar. Pleasure replaces the sting in waves, so intense it makes your toes curl.
He moves at a languid pace, dragging himself out of you just a bit before pushing back in. Slowly. Making you feel everything.
You're growing desperate. All the pentâup tension you've been carrying for months finally spilling over, burning hot and restless.
You want him. So bad.
"You can be rougher-ah,"
"Rougher?" he chuckles, lifting a hand to wipe the tears from your face. His thumb brushes your cheek, so gentle it makes you purr. "You don't want me to be rougher, baby."
His hips snap forward sharply, pulling a surprised gasp from your throat.
"I do!" you say breathless.
You see it then-the veins standing out along his arms, the way his jaw tightens as he clenches his teeth. He's losing it. Barely holding on anymore.
And you don't want him to.
"Please," you whisper, voice low, rolling your hips just enough to make him groan.
His hands fly to your hips, pinning them hard against the bed.
"You don't know what you're asking for."
The smile on your face disappears just as quickly as it came when he snaps his hips forward againâharder this time. The movement is rough and powerful, stealing the air from your lungs.
"You ever had your neck squeezed before, bunny?" His large hand comes up loose at first, fingers barely resting against your throat, and your breath already hitches. Then he squeezes harder, thumb pressing into the side of your neck.
Your vision blurs around the edges, pleasure shooting straight through you. You don't hear a word he says after that, though the soft smile that creeps on your face doesn't go unnoticed.
Something flips inside him.
He's not the caring giant anymore-the one coaxing orgasm after orgasm out of you, softly rubbing your side and clit to ease the stretch of his cock. No. This version of him is different. Rougher. Bolder. It makes your toes curl in the best possible way.
All you hear is ringing and the sound of his hips hitting your ass.
Your mouth hangs open in a perfect O, no sound coming out except the faintest whimper dragged from you with every thrust. Your eyes cross as you let him do whatever he wants with your body.
You're a drooling mess. Nothing but babbles and broken cries spill from your lips as your eyes roll back, nails clawing at the messy, wet sheets that smell like nothing but you and him.
"Stupid thrust fucking thrust bunny thrust."
The sound sends a warm, overwhelming rush through your stomach, like the drop of a roller coaster. His hips don't falter, and neither does his grip.
With every movement, he rolls his hips in slow circles, making sure you feel every inch, every vein dragging against your sensitive, gummy walls. His hand loosens at your throat only to slide down and grab your tits hard.
"Simiiimon-ahâah-ah," you cry, voice breaking with each powerful snap of his hips. Short, deep thrusts. His pubic bone slamming into your swollen clit every time.
"So fuckin' tight," he growls. "You feel so fuckin' goodä¸fuck.â
He lets go of your neck, hands moving down your body as his hips slow, grinding into you instead. "I'm gonna rip you in half," he mutters to himself, the rumble in his chest deep and dark.
You don't hear him.
You're too busy gripping the sheets for dear life as the sinful sounds of skin slapping, cunt squelching, and your broken moans fill the room.
The sounds you make only fuel the heavy throbbing of his cock. "Feel good, baby?" he breathes, chest heaving as he looks down at your fucked-out expression, a small smile pulling at his lips.
"Yesyesyes," you babble, drool slipping from your mouth, eyes fluttering as you struggle to keep them open.
"Please-" Your cheeks are wet with tears, hair a mess, body buzzing with heat and pleasure. "Please go faster."
You lift your hips, digging your heels into the mattress, grinding back into him with everything you have left.
He lets out a deep grunt-surprised, pleased.
"Yeah, baby," he teases, thumb sliding down to rub your clit. "You want me to go faster?"
"Please, need it," you sob pathetically. The only thing you care about is pleasureâcoming apart on him and letting him ruin you again.
"Work for it, then," he pants, chest rising and falling as he watches your blissedâout face. Beautiful. Fucking wrecked.
Your hips jerk erratically now, calves trembling, sweat slicking your skin as he lets you use him to get yourself off.
"You're-ah-beingâmean," you sniff, your legs giving out slowly.
The familiar pressure coils tight in your stomach. Your clit is red and angry with every twist of his thumb, his free hand coming up to squeeze and play with your tit.
Before you can stop it, another orgasm washes through your whole body.
"Fuck," he he throws his head back when you clamp around him, tight and desperate, refusing to let go.
It takes everything in him not to come right then and there, buried deep inside your hot, gummy walls.
You're left gasping, clutching the sheets to your chest like you need something solid as you come apart on his cock.
As you come down, he slowly pulls out of you.
"Ahâ" you yelp, the sudden emptiness uncomfortable, almost cold without him.
"Bend over."
His eyes are completely dark as he steps back, cock twitching and leaking. Before you can even lift your head, he's gripping your thighs, dragging you forward and flipping you onto your stomach, then onto your knees. The sheets beneath you are soaked.
"C'mon, bunny," he says, slapping your ass impatiently. "Bend over."
"M'gonna breed this fuckin' cunt," he mutters.
His hands grip your waist, putting you exactly where he wants youâon your knees, tits pressed into the bed, ass up just like he's imagined too many times before.
And you. You're just a cock-drunk, drooling mess. You can't even form words. Just cries and whines spilling out of you.
Music to his ears.
Fuel to his aching cock.
He positions himself behind you, a heavy hand coming down on your ass. The sharp sound echoes through the room, followed by your broken cry.
"Sii-"
His thrusts are messyâmessier than before.
Desperate. His grip is bruising, fingers digging into your hips as he pounds into you harder, deeper. You chant his name like it's the only word you know.
Your body starts to betray you first. Your legs tremble, knees threatening to give out as the rhythm stutters, breaks, turns reckless. You can't keep up anymoreâcan't tell where one movement ends and the next begins. Every nerve feels lit, stretched thin, buzzing too loud inside your skin. Your breath comes apart in your chest, sharp little gasps you can't control, like your body already knows what's coming before your mind does.
You're right thereâso close it hurts. The need swells until it feels unbearable, like pressure behind your ribs, behind your eyes. Your grip tightens, fingers clawing uselessly at his pillow.
"Fuuuuck, baby!" he nearly yells, hips snapping animalistically, your whole body jolting with every thrust.
"Fuckfuckfuck-" you scream, loud and unfiltered, grateful there aren't neighbors close enough to hear.
The pressure builds again-and just before you can release, he pulls out.
You sob at the emptiness, looking back at him. "No! â please.
He smirks, gripping his cock, a white ring of your slick at the base before he leans down, spreading your ass. Both holes are on display. You can't stop him even if you wanted to.
He spits directly on your asshole before burying his tongue there, licking and slurping like a man starved.
From your clit to your ass, messy and obscene. His hand pumps his cock as he eats you, smacking and pinching your ass, tongue pushing deep enough to make you cry into the pillow.
"Pleaseâwant your cock, Simon," you beg, pushing back into his mouth without thinking.
âYeah, baby,â he mocks, voice pitched higher. âYou want this fat cock in your tummy?â
His fist tangles in your hair, jerking your head back until your neck strains, eyes lifting to meet him looming over you.
"Yes, please," your voice is horsed, neck straining with veins popping out. Chin wet and you're panting like a dog.
It made Simons cock impossibly harder.
He sinks into you again-no pause, no waiting. He bottoms out and immediately starts fucking you without restraint, the bed squeaking so loud you're sure it'll break. He slaps your ass, pulls your hair harder, forcing your back into an uncomfortable arch.
"This is what you wanted huh baby," he pants, hips never faltering, yet they get sloppy. His end is nearing.
He knows it by the way his balls tighten. Still dripping a sticky mess of both of you.
Then everything disappears.
Your vision blurs as you cum all over his cock againâno warning, no buildup.
You don't even know how many orgasms you've had.
This last one knocks you out completely.
You collapse onto the bed when he finally lets go, lying there motionless, drool slipping from your mouth as he uses your body for his pleasure.
"Fuck, bunny," he laughs. "Came so fast."
He doesn't give you time to recover.
He hauls you back up onto your hands and knees, positioning himself at the edge of the bed-your face level with his throbbing cock. Every twitch sends a bead of precum sliding down the angry red tip, already mixed with your cum.
"Make me cum, bunny."
"Wha-?" you mumble, still coming down from your high, vision spotting as you look up at him.
"C'mon, bunny," he groans. "You can't just leave me high and dry."
His hand comes down to grip his thick cock, the other cupping his balls. Your mouth waters instantly.
And then his earlier words echo in your head.
M'gonna breed you.
You whine softly and reach up, nudging his hands away so you can replace them with yours. You shuffle forward on your knees, settling in as you lean closer, both hands moving slowly up and down his shaft.
You tilt your head, staring up at him as you muster the best face you can manage, cheek brushing against the warm weight of him. You love the sounds he's makingâragged moans as he loses control.
"Want it inside," you beg.
Simon's eye twitches.
His breathing turns rough, uneven, gaze hardening as they lock onto you. For a split second, you almost wonder if you've crossed a line.
His grip snaps tight in your hair, the burn sharp enough to steal your breath. You barely have time to yelp before he's shoving his cock into your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat hard.
It's sudden. Too sudden.
You choke, gagging around him as he thrusts shallow and rough, spit bubbling at your lips and dripping down onto him.
Your head rocks back and forth as you grip his thighs to steady yourself, fingers digging in.
His grip doesn't falter, using it as leverage to drive you deeper. It's brutal. Too much. The sounds you're making would make you blush under any other circumstance.
Your throat burns, gag reflex overwhelmed as you choke around him, fluids spilling from your mouth every time he pushes deeper. Your cunt gushes as he uses your throat for his own pleasure.
"Yeeeeah gimmie thatâgurg, gurgâbaby."
He grips the baseâwhat you can't fully take-along with his balls, forcing it down. Your eyes widen as you physically feel the stretch of your throat around him.
You tap at his thighs hard and fast, panic spiking just before he finally releases you.
You pull back immediately, coughing, gagging as phlegm spills from your mouth. Your face is a complete mess when he grips your hair again, jerking himself fast and hard. His expression twists with pleasure and desperation, lips caught between his teeth.
Your hand slips down between your legs, rubbing at yourself as he works his cock over your face.
"M'close," he breathes, chest red and heaving, focus razor-sharp.
"Fuuuck, bunny."
Before you can say anything, you feel itâsticky ropes splashing across your face, catching in your hair, your lashes, your brows, your lips. Everywhere. It lasts longer than you expect, enough to leave you stunned.
He grips the tip, giving a final stroke before tapping your cheek and pulling away.
You look up at him as he backs off, dragging your fingers through the mess on your face and bringing them to your mouth, licking them clean.
"Don't do this to me, bunny," he groans.
You giggle softly, the sound weak and breathless, before collapsing back onto the bed. The exhaustion finally catching up on you. Every muscle feels loose, heavy, like your body forgot how to work all at once.
The mattress dips as he moves closer again, slower now.
"Easy," he murmurs, hand settling at your side to keep you from rolling awkwardly. He grabs something off the nightstandâa cloth, a shirt, whatever's closestâand gently wipes at your face, patient, thorough.
Your eyes flutter half-closed as he works, the room quiet except for the sound of your breathing finally evening out. The tension from before disappearing and turning into something soft, and peaceful.
"There you go," he says softly, brushing your hair back from your forehead. His thumb lingers there for a second longer than necessary.
You hum in response, too spent to form real words.
He shifts again, sliding into the bed beside you and tugging the covers up around you, making sure you're warm. When he settles beside you, he pulls you in without asking, arm firm and grounding around your shoulders.
You melt into him easily.
For a while, neither of you says anything. You just lie there, your head on his chest, his breathing steady beneath your ear. His hand traces slow, absent lines along your arm.
"You okay?" he asks quietly.
You nod against him, eyes closed. "M'good,"
His arm tightens just a little.
"Good."
You smile to yourself, fingers drifting over the scars and dips along his chest. "Thought you said you were gonna breed me," you joke softly.
He lets out a low laugh, warm and deep, the sound vibrating through you.
"That was heat talk, bunny," he says easily. His hand slides to your waist, fingers trailing along your stretch marks.
You tilt your head, listening.
"When i do cum in your pretty pussy," he pauses, other hand reaching to drag a finger along your cheek. "It's gonna be for a reason.
â â˘â â°âââ˝ŕźâžâââąâ â˘â
Š all content belongs to httpxyeager 2026. do not modify or repost.
*text reads* "my bedside table has a bottle of caffeine pills. Red and with a snake 'round it. It says I'm taking double what I should but, I can't go on otherwise...
[ID: A tweet by @GarrettReuscher that reads: ââEveryone gets a plate before everyone gets secondsâ but for housing.â dated 05 Oct 19 4:24 PM /end ID]
"Don't spy on a privacy lab" (and other career advice for university provosts)
This is a wild and hopeful story: grad students at Northeastern successfully pushed back against invasive digital surveillance in their workplace, through solidarity, fearlessness, and the bright light of publicity. Itâs a tale of hand-to-hand, victorious combat with the âshitty technology adoption curve.â
Whatâs the âshitty tech adoption curve?â Itâs the process by which oppressive technologies are normalized and spread. If you want to do something awful with techâââsay, spy on people with a camera 24/7âââyou need to start with the people who have the least social capital, the people whose objections are easily silenced or overridden.
Thatâs why all our worst technologies are first imposed on refugees -> prisoners -> kids -> mental patients -> poor people, etc. Then, these technologies climb the privilege gradient: blue collar workers -> white collar workers -> everyone. Following this pathway lets shitty tech peddlers knock the rough edges off their wares, inuring us all to their shock and offense.
20 years ago, if you ate dinner under the unblinking eye of a CCTV, it was because you were housed in a supermax prison. Today, itâs because you were unwise enough to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for âhome automationâ from Google, Apple, Amazon or another âluxury surveillanceâ vendor.
Northeasternâs Interdisciplinary Science and Engineering Complex (ISEC) is home to the âCybersecurity and Privacy Institute,â where grad students study the harms of surveillance and the means by which they may be reversed. If thereâs one group of people who are prepared to stand athwart the shitty tech adoption curve, it is the CPI grad students.
Which makes it genuinely baffling that Northeasternâs Senior Vice Provost for Research decided to install under-desk heat sensors throughout ISEC, overnight, without notice or consultation. The provost signed the paperwork that brought the privacy institute into being.
Students throughout ISEC were alarmed by this move, but especially students on the sixth floor, home to the Privacy Institute. When they demanded an explanation, they were told that the university was conducting a study on âdesk usage.â This rang hollow: students at the Privacy Institute have assigned desks, and they badge into each room when they enter it.
As Privacy Institute PhD candidate Max von Hippel wrote, âReader, we have assigned desks, and we use a key-card to get into the room, so, they already know how and when we use our desks.â
So why was the university suddenly so interested in gathering fine-grained data on desk usage? I asked von Hippel and he told me: âThey are proposing that grad students share desks, taking turns with a scheduling web-app, so administrators can take over some of the space currently used by grad students. Because as you know, research always works best when you have to schedule your thinking time.â
Thatâs von Hippelâs theory, and Iâm going to go with it, because the provost didnât offer a better one in the flurry of memos and âlistening sessionsâ that took place after the ISEC students arrived at work one morning to discover sensors under their desks.
This is documented in often hilarious detail in von Hippelâs thread on the scandal, in which the university administrators commit a series of unforced errors and the grad students run circles around them, in a comedy of errors straight out of âAnimal House.â
After the sensors were discovered, the students wrote to the administrators demanding their removal, on the grounds that there was no scientific purpose for them, that they intimidated students, that they were unnecessary, and that the university had failed to follow its own rules and ask the Institutional Review Board (IRB) to review the move as a human-subjects experiment.
The letter was delivered to the provost, who offered âan impromptu listening sessionâ in which he alienated students by saying that if they trusted the university to âgiveâ them a degree, they should trust it to surveil them. The students bristled at this characterization, noting that students deliver research (and grant money) to âmake it tick.â
[Image ID: Sensors arrayed around a kitchen table at ISEC]
The students, believing the provost was not taking them seriously, unilaterally removed all the sensors, and stuck them to their kitchen table, annotating and decorating them with Sharpie. This prompted a second, scheduled âlistening sessionâ with the provost, but this session, while open to all students, was only announced to their professors (âBeware of the leopardâ).
The students got wind of this, printed up fliers and made sure everyone knew about it. The meeting was packed. The provost explained to students that he didnât need IRB approval for his sensors because they werenât âmonitoring people.â A student countered, what was being monitored, âif not people?â The provost replied that he was monitoring âheat sources.â
Remember, these are grad students. They asked the obvious question: which heat sources are under desks, if not humans (von Hippel: ârats or kangaroos?â). The provost fumbled for a while (âa service animal or somethingâ) before admitting, âI guess, yeah, itâs a human.â
Having yielded the point, the provost pivoted, insisting that there was no privacy interest in the data, because âno individual data goes back to the server.â But these arenât just grad studentsâââtheyâre grad students who specialize in digital privacy. Few people on earth are better equipped to understand re-identification and de-aggregation attacks.
[Image ID: A window with a phrase written in marker, âWe are not doing science hereâ -Luzzi.]
A student told the provost, âThis doesnât matter. You are monitoring us, and collecting data for science.â The provost shot back, âwe are not doing science here.â This ill-considered remark turned into an on-campus meme. Iâm sure it was just blurted in the heat of the moment, but wow, was that the wrong thing to tell a bunch of angry scientists.
From the transcript, itâs clear that this is where the provost lost the crowd. He accused the students of âfeeling emotionâ and explaining that the data would be used for âdifferent kinds of research. We want to see how students move around the lab.â
Now, as it happens, ISEC has an IoT lab where they take these kinds of measurements. When they do those experiments, students are required to go through IRB, get informed consent, all the stuff that the provost had bypassed. When this is pointed out, the provost says that they had been given an IRB waiver by the universityâs Human Research Protection Program (HRPP).
Now a prof gets in on the action, asking, pointedly: âIs the only reason it doesnât fall under IRB is that the data will not be published?â A student followed up by asking how the university could justify blowing $50,000 on surveillance gear when that money would have paid for a whole grad student stipend with money left over.
The provostâs answers veer into the surreal here. He points out that if he had to hire someone to monitor the studentsâ use of their desks, it would cost more than $50k, implying that the bill for the sensors represents a cost-savings. A student replies with the obvious rejoinderâââjust donât monitor desk usage, then.
Finally, the provost started to hint at the underlying rationale for the sensors, discussing the cost of the facility to the university and dangling the possibility of improving utilization of âresearch assets.â A student replies, âIf you want to understand how research is done, donât piss off everyone in this building.â
Now that they have at least a vague explanation for what research question the provost is trying to answer, the students tear into his study design, explaining why he wonât learn what heâs hoping to learn. Itâs really quite a good experimental design critiqueâââthese are good students! Within a few volleys, theyâre pointing out how these sensors could be used to stalk researchers and put them in physical danger.
The provost turns the session over to an outside expert via a buggy Zoom connection that didnât work. Finally, a student asks whether itâs possible that this meeting could lead to them having a desk without a sensor under it. The provost points out that their desk currently doesnât have a sensor (remember, the students ripped them out). The student says, âI assume youâll put one back.â
[Image ID: A âpublic art pieceâ in the ISEC lobbyâââa table covered in sensors spelling out âNO!,â surrounded by Sharpie annotations decrying the program.]
They run out of time and the meeting breaks up. Following this, the students arrange the sensors into a âpublic art pieceâ in the lobbyâââa table covered in sensors spelling out âNO!,â surrounded by Sharpie annotations decrying the program.
Meanwhile, students are still furious. Itâs not just that the sensors are invasive, nor that they are scientifically incoherent, nor that they cost more than a yearâs salaryâââthey also emit lots of RF noise that interferes with the studentsâ own research. The discussion spills onto Reddit:
Yesterday, the provost capitulated, circulating a memo saying they would pull âall the desk occupancy sensors from the building,â due to âconcerns voiced by a population of graduate students.â
The shitty technology adoption curve is relentless, but you canât skip a step! Jumping straight to grad students (in a privacy lab) without first normalizing them by sticking them on the desks of poor kids in underfunded schools (perhaps after first laying off a computer science teacher to free up the budget!) was a huge tactical error.
A more tactically sound version of this is currently unfolding at CMU Computer Science, where grad students have found their offices bugged with sensors that detect movement and collect sound:
The CMU administration has wisely blamed the presence of these devices on the need to discipline low-waged cleaning staff by checking whether theyâre really vacuuming the offices.
While itâs easier to put cleaners under digital surveillance than computer scientists, trying to do both at once is definitely a boss-level challenge. You might run into a scholar like David Gray Widder, who, observing that âthis seems like algorithmic management of lowly paid employees to me,â unplugged the sensor in his office.
This is the kind of full-stack Luddism this present moment needs. These researchers arenât opposed to sensorsâââtheyâre challenging the social relations of sensors, who gets sensed and who does the sensing.
[Image ID: A flier inviting ISEC grad students to attend an unadvertised âlistening sessionâ with the vice-provost. It is surmounted with a sensor that has been removed from beneath a desk and annotated in Sharpie to read: 'If found by David Luzzi suck it.â]