live laugh lobotomy

“i’m sorry women” — rodrick heffley

[shamebats]

For some reason we were given access to custom emojis on teams and it took people less than 24 hours to add the logo of the local unemployment office and start using it as a reaction when something goes wrong or upper management announces another shit decision

[jame7t]

I keep your grandpa on a leash and he likes it too

[jame7t]

uh i cover you in goo ok ?

[paper--machete]

congratulations tumblr user voidimperatrix on winning its first nickelodeon kids choice award

[songtwo]

[slightmood]

[saturn-flowr]

slime teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Slimes New Roman

[triangleguy]

why is half of youtube filled with 47 minute long videos that look like this

[nivolumab000q-deactivated202506]

potatoes arent even that good

[faceless-fuck]

Oh ok

[sapphling]

Does The Girl Impaling You On Her Lance Have A Crush On You?

EVIDENCE FOR:

she absolutely polished the stock this morning

seemed kind of apologetic when you gasped and stumbled backward

coughed and looked away really quickly when you caught her eye but she was totally staring at the wound

EVIDENCE AGAINST:

probably does this with all of her friends

[lesbianboyfriend]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

[arquitectoserectos]

[stuck-in-jelly]

Seeing a cyber truck in person is truly a bonding experience. Someone parked one of those monstrosities in a no parking zone at work and me and my coworkers gathered like this

[rcktpwr]

im feeling so sensual and nude

[rcktpwr]

exactly like a crocodile

[cervine-arctophile]

[mariamlovesyou]

[deathdaydreamm]

[knightowlet]

Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

[frnkieroismydaddy]

Oh my GOD

[papayajuan2019]

Shout out to all the baby birds who had their first flight today